@ Week of 4/11

[formerlyak]

My teen finally got to go back to high school in person. Half days. They come home at lunch. 40% of students decided to remain online for the remainder of the year, so classes are small. Plexiglass around desks in the smaller classrooms. Easy to distance in others. Filtration systems were upgraded in all classrooms last summer. All of our classrooms have large windows that open and most have doors to the outside so airflow is good. Ex was onboard with him going back, until DS got home from his first day yesterday. Then he decided he was too nervous about DS going to school since his wife is pg (I didn’t know this part until last night) so maybe DS should just stay with me for the next eight weeks and they could FaceTime. I told him I appreciate his decision to give up time with DS instead of making DS give up school, since DS’ mental health was going downhill fast that past few weeks. This was out of character for him because he’s a narcissist. I suggested, since he’s fully vaccinated, that he come here and do outdoor dinners and outdoor activities (I live walking distance from the beach and 10 minute drive to some great hiking trails) instead of just not seeing DS. So for now that’s the plan. I also suggested we could test DS regularly so DS could still go to his house, and his wife wasn’t onboard with that.

Any other thoughts on creative, low-risk ways I can help them see each other?

I know this should be on ex to figure out, but he expects DS to figure these things out, so this is more to help ds get to see his dad than anything. DS doesn’t want to give up going to school (I asked him) and would rather not go to his dad’s if that’s the deal, but said he doesn’t like the idea of no dad time for two months.

[formerlyak]

melmaria she is not vaccinated and doesn’t want to be. I was actually proud of the way I handled the conversation with ex yesterday, except the part when he said she isn’t getting vaccinated and my reaction was, “What? Why not?!?!” I could have done better there. She works in education and has been eligible for a while, so I was caught off guard there.

Spring Break was last week, so I kind of wish they would have talked to me earlier so he could have spent all of break with them before he went back to make up some time.

He’s coming to do outdoor dinner tonight so hopefully that goes well and continues.

[seeyalater52]

Apr 14, 2021 9:34:57 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

melmaria she is not vaccinated and doesn’t want to be. I was actually proud of the way I handled the conversation with ex yesterday, except the part when he said she isn’t getting vaccinated and my reaction was, “What? Why not?!?!” I could have done better there. She works in education and has been eligible for a while, so I was caught off guard there.

Spring Break was last week, so I kind of wish they would have talked to me earlier so he could have spent all of break with them before he went back to make up some time.

He’s coming to do outdoor dinner tonight so hopefully that goes well and continues.

I would be very annoyed at this situation. I get the anxiety of being pregnant but there’s no reason for her to refuse the vaccine against medical advice (assuming she doesn’t have some special circumstance that contraindicates it) and pass along the inconvenience of that decision to your child. That really sucks.

I recognize my response is not constructive or helpful in any way.

[somersault72]

I'm pretty annoyed (LOL since this has NOTHING to do with me) his wife could have gotten vaccinated and chose not to and now is not comfortable with her stepchild coming to their home. I'm very glad he agreed to the outdoor dinner and hopefully will do more.

[somersault72]

Apr 14, 2021 9:37:24 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Apr 14, 2021 9:34:57 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

melmaria she is not vaccinated and doesn’t want to be. I was actually proud of the way I handled the conversation with ex yesterday, except the part when he said she isn’t getting vaccinated and my reaction was, “What? Why not?!?!” I could have done better there. She works in education and has been eligible for a while, so I was caught off guard there.

Spring Break was last week, so I kind of wish they would have talked to me earlier so he could have spent all of break with them before he went back to make up some time.

He’s coming to do outdoor dinner tonight so hopefully that goes well and continues.

I would be very annoyed at this situation. I get the anxiety of being pregnant but there’s no reason for her to refuse the vaccine against medical advice (assuming she doesn’t have some special circumstance that contraindicates it) and pass along the inconvenience of that decision to your child. That really sucks.

I recognize my response is not constructive or helpful in any way.

Yeah mine isn't either but this person who I don't know is pissing me off. LOL

FWIW I work in an OB/Gyn office and our doctors are recommending our pregnant patients get the vaccine.

[seeyalater52]

Jules learned to play peek a boo and it’s the world’s most adorable thing. Also I’m convinced that he’s super advanced and speshul for a 7 month old so please do not disabuse me of my mommy goggles.

Also his leg rolls look like a sharpei. 😂

PDQ
ibb.co/gjrp33S
ibb.co/zZxM3BY

[formerlyak]

seeyalater52 your comment is actually quite helpful because it makes me feel less bad about my reaction to her not wanting the vaccine. I know how hard it was for your to have a baby, so if after all that, you’d still get the vaccine pregnant, that says something, you know?

They aren’t big “listen to the science” people. They still do not go outside even for walks, they wipe down packages and groceries. They are still going by the guidance we got last Spring. The fact that he agreed to outside picnic is new.

[formerlyak]

melmaria yep, my son is the golfer. Ex won’t take him to golf because it’s too people-y for him.

[formerlyak]

Also, I appreciate all the comments. They help me see that I’m not being the crazy ex wife in this situation.

[seeyalater52]

Apr 14, 2021 9:42:53 GMT -5 melmaria said:

Apr 14, 2021 9:37:24 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

I would be very annoyed at this situation. I get the anxiety of being pregnant but there’s no reason for her to refuse the vaccine against medical advice (assuming she doesn’t have some special circumstance that contraindicates it) and pass along the inconvenience of that decision to your child. That really sucks.

I recognize my response is not constructive or helpful in any way.

I'm very very pro-Covid vaccine and got it pregnant, but not all doctors are recommending it.  A lot of doctors are saying they can't make a recommendation either way because they don't have enough data.  And so I understand why some women feel torn.  Again, I think it's better to get it than not, in considering the balance of risks/harms/benefits, but I am sympathetic to people in this situation.

But more and more data keeps coming out that is positive, so maybe this will start to change.

Meh. If her doctor isn’t recommending it that goes against the recommendations of the many relevant medical associations that they likely belong to. I suppose if that’s her doctor’s position that might be a factor. All the OB, RE, and MFM practices around here are strongly encouraging their patients to get it so I guess that colors my opinion.

[breezy8407]

formerlyak I don't have any advice but agree its not fair to your son to be put in that position. I have younger kids, so maybe my ideas are un-cool...we go on LOTS of bike rides. There are a lot of paved trails near us and we have a bike rack for our car so we have taken them to regional parks, too. We also took up Pickleball as a family last summer. YMMV

I posted in last weeks @ covid thread that DD has to quarantine due to an exposure at school. Thankfully she tested negative on Monday. Its only been 2.25 days of quarantine, but she's been a champ. I'm trying to limit her screen time, but have been letting her chat with her friends on kids messenger since the weather has been crap so she can't really go outside. Now there is snow on the ground so at least the sports practices she would have missed have been cancelled. She's been way more independent than ever and finding things to do on her own like crafts and drawing.

[eponinepontmercy]

seeyalater52, he's perfect and I want to nibble on his legs.

[tacom]

Apr 14, 2021 9:45:53 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Also, I appreciate all the comments. They help me see that I’m not being the crazy ex wife in this situation.

You’re definitely not being a crazy ex!

You said she works in education - is there any chance she is in person?

If so, high risk condition + high risk exposure + high fear of Covid infection blows my mind for declining the vaccine. Either way, I hope she comes around to the vaccine or it’s going to be a very long pregnancy for her!

I think you’re handling this really well. It sucks that it’s impacting your son but you’re doing a great job of working with them to maximize his access to his dad and his education.

[StrawberryBlondie]

Omg seeyalater52 he is just so adorable!

[eddy]

OH MY GOD THOSE LEGS! SO NIBBLY! 

My 13 year old had a high risk exposure and is now home. His BF tested positive on Tuesday. They last ate lunch together last Friday at school. Sigh, we get J tested on Friday. Thankfully so far he isn't feeling anything.

But of course this week was the first time he started an actual junior high sport. He made it 1 day of practice before he was put into quarantine lol. And next week is state testing, which is a big ole mess. 

Calgon take me away.

[breezy8407]

eddy oh no! Dd is missing our state testing, too. I am guessing because 1/2 her class is out they will have them do it when they get back. Same on the sports...it sucks! I hope you get a negative test.

[breezy8407]

seeyalater52 Gahhh so cuuuuuute! he reminds me so much of my DS at that age. It makes me so happy but also sad because he is now leg roll free as an 8 year old.

[formerlyak]

seeyalater52, The super happy baby face kills me! Thank you for sharing all your pics.

[kdubs923]

seeyalater52 , OMG those legs! He is SO adorable.

[seeyalater52]

Thank you all for loving this baby. ❤️ I recognize I’m the world’s biggest attention whore but it has honestly meant so much to have people to share him with given that most of our friends and family have not been able to really see him yet.

[somersault72]

seeyalater52 those thighs are works of art, truly. <3

My almost 3 yo DD was born with a limb difference (her left hand is underdeveloped and she has little nubs instead of fingers). She played Mario on her brother's switch for the first time yesterday and watch her use the joystick with her little Lucky Fin to make Peach (she refused to be anyone but Peach, lol) move around was the cutest thing ever.

[anodyne]

DS's class is quarantined with a positive case. I am working from home for the duration. Our neighbor has a garage and second floor pergola that has been falling apart for a few years. They decide today is a good time to start working on it. UGH!!! DS has to deal with the sound of construction and I get to deal with that and virtual school.

[aprilsails]

seeyalater52 he is scrumptious! I love those legs. My nephew was just the same.

[pugz]

Omg who gave that baby permission to be so cute??!

[jamaicam]

seeyalater52, he is adorable! Everytime I see you post with a link in it, I get excited to see him.

I dont have many babies around me and other people's babies are the best!

[wawa]

Apr 14, 2021 12:36:13 GMT -5 jamaicam said:

seeyalater52 , he is adorable! Everytime I see you post with a link in it, I get excited to see him.

I dont have many babies around me and other people's babies are the best!

THIS!  

i've got two people on my team out on maternity leave right now and I'm mad that dumb ole covid means there aren't any baby office visits wherein I can huff the good baby smell.  I made these babies blankets dammit, I should at least get to sniff them and stick my finger into their tiny fists. 

But those thighs are next level cute. 

[1confused1]

I almost started crying when I met with my manager about going back into the office. We were originally told we wouldn't return to the site and would continue to work remote, senior management seems to have changed their mind.

I am a single mom, my kids aren't back in school and there are very few summer programs to get them enrolled in. I really hope they are willing to make some exceptions, I know some coworkers are in similar situations.

[ny96]

seeyalater52 Too Cute

We were at the playground the other day and one of DS1’s classmates was also there. They were having so much fun that as we were leaving I asked her mom when we could meet up next. We have made a plan to meet today, but she came out yesterday, in a class email, as an anti masker. Now I’m not so excited ☹️, and she’s a scientist.

[sillygoosegirl]

My dad's 2nd shot was 2 weeks ago today (my mom's 2 days before that), so MY KID IS OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR 2 NIGHTS!!!! I'm so excited, can you tell?

[suburbanzookeeper]

My kids went back to hybrid learning on Monday for the first time since Covid started. It's only 2.25 hours but so far we're all *loving* it. It finally feels like some cycle of normalcy AND its come with some pretty sweet balance of school work that's allowing them to feel more like kids. We didn't realize how much busywork was being assigned until most of it went by the wayside.

I advocated for years for smaller class sizes and my kids incidentally got it this way. Both of their teachers commented how much easier it is to work with less than 10 than 25+.