waverly, He's 7. They were talking about asking to switch teams if it continues, worried that if this kid is in his class at school is he going to continue it at school, will he be turning other kids on the team against him... His ex was saying it's the most devastated she's ever seen her son look, beau was ready to call the coach... I told beau they can't start doomsday prophecying what "might" happen and just let it go. Email the coach as a heads up, sure. But all the rest seemed like a huge over-reaction.
twinmomma, switching teams? That's ridiculous. At 7, parents need to be teaching their kids about resilience. Call the coach, the coach can talk to his son about it. They should talk to Beau's son about how awful people sometimes do/say awful things, but it says more about that person than it does about him.
Thank you! I needed that reality check. Last night I was thinking to myself "Seriously, we're freaking out this much about one little comment at baseball? Tell him to get over it." And then I was second guessing myself on if I'm just too harsh as a parent. Beau's son is more sensitive than my kids, so he needs a different approach, but also... This is why...
I think the link below is good framework on how to think about it. This behavior was rude or mean but is not currently beyond that. While rude and mean behaviors should be addressed they are not as serious as bullying. This likely falls under poor sportsmanship from a coach perspective and can properly be addressed without a huge issue. And yes kids do need to learn how to find the right friends. My kid is learning this now. Some kids just don't click.
twinmomma, can Beau reach out to the school counselor and get some of the social skill stuff that he has been working on with the 1st graders to work on over the summer. If he can get that it would probably help a lot. DD hates the social skills unit but they do two different 6 week lessons where the counselor comes in and teaches for 20-30 minutes. Usually right after school starts and again in January/February. This year the counselor pops in once a month to do a social skill lesson virtually. Yesterday he was in and they were talking about cyber bullying and how it is similar but different than bullying in person.
186momx, That's a great idea! My kids have guidance as a regular weekly special, but when they asked beau's son about it, he said that if they were in person he would have it, but they don't do it for the remote kids. I was surprised by that, but also know the poor guidance counselors are stretched so thin already.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Apr 20, 2021 13:50:00 GMT -5
As a parent of a kid who is terrible in sports and who also does not have experience throwing balls and stuff....like other kids are mean some times. They aren't actually bad or mean kids but they do require correction so they don't become total assholes as their personality.
So the coach does need to know but beau's son does need to kind of understand, I'm not good YET. Stuff is going to happen to highlight that I'm not that great, but if I keep at it and have courage about it, I will get better and I will feel better and things will work out.
I'll weigh in as someone with a 7-year-old son (and older daughter) - DS1 plays baseball and is not very good at it. Almost every time, they have to pull out the tee because he can't hit the machine-pitched ball. I will say that I can see the initial inclination on the part of the parents. My DS1 is much more sensitive than my daughter, and I'm more sensitive on his behalf- knowing that. I have no problem telling my daughter to just suck it up, but I have slightly more trouble telling him to do that when his feelings are hurt. But I do it anyway. ITA with the previous poster that a kid saying something mean is not bullying, and that the parents are going to cause more trouble/self doubt for the kid by blowing it out of proportion. I don't even know if I'd mention it to the coach unless it was a recurring issue.
Random - our school district is switching from district-provided aftercare to a provider called Right at School for next year. Anyone have them locally? Looks like they're based in Chicago.
Random - our school district is switching from district-provided aftercare to a provider called Right at School for next year. Anyone have them locally? Looks like they're based in Chicago.
Our district switched from Champions (a Kindercare company) to Right at school. That being said, I haven’t used them because of the pandemic. We had the nanny, and now that the kids are back full time they ride the bus home. DH is there working from home but doesn’t interact with them at all. I get home about an hour later. So I guess their aftercare is doing their homework poorly in DS’s case while being ignored by DH. This is ok because when he was at Champions he refused to do his homework there anyway.
Ha waverly! Do you know if other families have been satisfied with Right at School? Currently our aftercare closes at 4, so I’m hoping if nothing else that the new provider will stay open till a decent time, especially as our work schedules likely go back to more normal post pandemic.
sdlaura , I think they are satisfied. The other families that I know probably would have only started when kids went full time which was about 2 months ago. I think a lot has to do with the people that they hire. It is open until 6pm, and the payment structure looked nice. For example, you could pay for only 1 day a week which wasn't an option with Champions. They bill monthly though which I find confusing, but I am sure it is easier than I think once you actually do it. I think for us, we might be aging out of aftercare which sounds kind of crazy considering DD is only 8, but DS is 10, and they are certainly able to be home for an hour by themselves.
Thanks waverly! If it was only a hour, I think we'd be close to aging out, too, but normally school gets out at 2:20 and DH doesn't get home till closer to 5 and then me after that (and the kids walk less than 5 minutes home. Plus our younger two kids will eventually need aftercare too when they go to elementary - so we'll be tied to this company for a while
Right now due to Covid I leave at 4. If the new director tells me that I have to stay longer then that would be between 4:30-5. My rationale would be mixing cohorts of kids. I’m sure once kids have vaccines then a job probably wouldn’t let me leave early anymore. Kids get home at 3:30. I am milking Covid for as long as they will let me because it lets me experience part time life while technically still working full time.
For anyone else that uses a dependent care FSA and regularly spends way more than the $5k you can defer in a normal year - apparently the latest stimulus bill allows you to defer $10,500 for 2021. I'm very excited! Still like a fifth of my dependent care spending, but will save us some good $ on taxes.