Yeah, covid hasn't changed much about how we visit our parents (which is almost never).
In other news, we had the first reported case of sickness (strep) in daycare in a good long time. I knew it was only a matter of time after people started relaxing that we started getting sick notices again.
karinothing *I'm* that way about my own parent/parental figures. It just hasn't been that hard this past year because we never really spent much time together anyway. I'm pretty sure the last time I saw my dad was 2018. People keep asking about how I can "move that far away from family"...it's not hard for everyone. My kids are only close to my mil because the other grandparents don't make an effort and then get angry about the kids not loving them enough. :::eye roll:::
I feel like I dont miss it because u don't know what it should be like. I was not amazingly close with my grandparents either. But also get really frustrated when people don't appear to recognize how helpful it can be to have parents close by.
Post by curbsideprophet on Apr 20, 2021 17:48:21 GMT -5
This talk of schools dropping mask requirements now seems crazy to me.
I am definitely concerned about fall. They requested a decision on if we will go in person or to the virtual school. There will be no remote option at their current school (which is what we are doing now). They gave us two days to make this choice and basically no info on what the fall will look like. I know they need to plan but some info would be nice. Masks? distancing? I have no idea what official policy will be.
I talked to the the principal but am definitely still concerned. We do not really want to do the virtual school so I think we are going to select in person. However I feel like we need a back up plan in case we feel we need to pull them.
I was so excited this afternoon when I saw the results of the Chauvin trial, but then almost immediately I saw on Facebook that here in my city, a police officer shot and killed a 15-year-old girl in her front yard. She had called for help because she was in danger of being jumped by some other girls and was carrying a knife to protect herself. Cop pulled up and fired 4 shots right away.
This is the 3rd higher-profile killing of a Black person by a police officer in our city in just a few months.
Post by sillygoosegirl on Apr 21, 2021 9:50:11 GMT -5
I'm really concerned about the dropping of precautions for kids. I know they are unlike to die of COVID, unlikely to get MIS-C, and with the current vaccination rollout are increasingly unlikely to infect an older person who will die of COVID. But what scant info I'm finding about Long COVID in kids scares the crap out of me, particularly the part where it may effect 13%-25% of kids who test positive for COVID. Those aren't odds that make me feel good about dropping COVID precautions. Yet I rarely see masks on kids anymore in public. I intend to have my kid continue to wear one until she is vaccinated, but I worry that if she is the only one, she will take it off the moment my head is turned the other way.
I'm really concerned about the dropping of precautions for kids. I know they are unlike to die of COVID, unlikely to get MIS-C, and with the current vaccination rollout are increasingly unlikely to infect an older person who will die of COVID. But what scant info I'm finding about Long COVID in kids scares the crap out of me, particularly the part where it may effect 13%-25% of kids who test positive for COVID. Those aren't odds that make me feel good about dropping COVID precautions. Yet I rarely see masks on kids anymore in public. I intend to have my kid continue to wear one until she is vaccinated, but I worry that if she is the only one, she will take it off the moment my head is turned the other way.
Re: your last sentence, I think of it along the same lines as a bike helmet. At some point, I know she will not be with us riding her bike, but with friends. But I am confident in knowing we have explained to her the importance of wearing one, how it protects her, etc. and that she will see the value in wearing one when others may not. That is all I really can do.
Post by formerlyak on Apr 21, 2021 10:51:42 GMT -5
I think kids might surprise us in how well they wear their masks. Sure, there are some who are too cool or whose parents don't think masks are necessary, but there are also some who are really good about it. DS is in high school and I know he is telling the truth when he says he wears it. He has a tan line on his face from it. HAHAHAHAHAHA
I agree with formerlyak . DD puts her mask on the minute she gets in the car (I don't know why, but she does). She does an indoor sport and always makes sure her mask is in place. Mid jumping jack, she'll pull it back up over her nose. That sort of thing. But we're in a fairly compliant area.
We've also let her start playing with one other kid in our neighborhood and they always wear masks and are great about it.
And she's also that kid that has heard about helmets so much that she tells other kids to put theirs on because it's a safety thing, lol.
I think kids might surprise us in how well they wear their masks. Sure, there are some who are too cool or whose parents don't think masks are necessary, but there are also some who are really good about it. DS is in high school and I know he is telling the truth when he says he wears it. He has a tan line on his face from it. HAHAHAHAHAHA
I agree, it seems like such a natural thing for the kids I know. My kids (14 & 12) and my niece and nephew (5) have no issue wearing their masks, even when they are not required (outside, more than 6 feet away from others). My son likes it because it covers his braces and acne 😂
I think kids might surprise us in how well they wear their masks. Sure, there are some who are too cool or whose parents don't think masks are necessary, but there are also some who are really good about it. DS is in high school and I know he is telling the truth when he says he wears it. He has a tan line on his face from it. HAHAHAHAHAHA
I agree, it seems like such a natural thing for the kids I know. My kids (14 & 12) and my niece and nephew (5) have no issue wearing their masks, even when they are not required (outside, more than 6 feet away from others). My son likes it because it covers his braces and acne 😂
Our cases are low enough that the school district says that outside they don't have to wear them anymore... recess and lunchtime with middle schoolers - or even outside PE. It's weird to me. I'm still not adjusted to our kids just going back to not wearing them. My youngest still wears his a lot... I think he would wear a full mask with only his eyes out if he could get away with it - he even painted his face, pulled up his hood, and put on his mask the other day to look like Sister Night in Watchman - afterschool of course. Not sure if I'm proud (he has read the comic) or worried.
Our state is lifting business restrictions in May. Indoor masking is still required for now but I feel like it may be dropped over the summer. I think if the mandate is ended then school districts will have a hard time enforcing mask wearing. My kids are all still under 12 so I’m anxiously awaiting timelines for vaccines. I think the most aggravating thing will be if they end mask wearing but still make the kids test/quarantine for every little sore throat and sniffle. I like the masks for helping to prevent that!!
And just when I send one quarantined child back, my other one is now home. The younger one that requires an adult home. So H and I have been scrambling all morning adjusting our work schedules since we don't WFH.
We keep drawing the short end of the stick with our exposure in the classroom. Both time it was the kid they are assigned to sit near for lunch, sigh.
Up until last week we had no exposures. So I guess that part is lucky? We feel unlucky right now lol. And hopefully of course he tests negative this weekend and stays symptom free.
Post by formerlyak on Apr 21, 2021 13:25:11 GMT -5
My friend just texted me and another mom to give us a head up that her son asked to go get lunch with friends after school and that we might get a text about it. She said yes and is letting her son go. The other mom and I were both like, "Our kid won't ask. They know we will say no given the current outbreak at school." Sure enough, neither of us got the text. I'm glad my kid is well aware of the rules. One friend? Sure. Can a friend come over and have lunch at our house? Sure, I will make you food and set you up in the yard. A big group at a location where half the school shows up at lunch time? Nope. Net yet.
Post by Velar Fricative on Apr 22, 2021 13:26:42 GMT -5
This is arguably the best piece on kids and covid I've found. No surprise that it's written by David Leonhardt, who makes me feel better about a lot of things.
The charts were really helpful to see in one place. To summarize:
So what should your family do once the adults in it are vaccinated? Until all adults have had a chance to receive a shot, experts recommend caution, because children can spread the virus. Even after that, some basic safety measures will make sense, Dr. Nuzzo points out. They include wearing masks when in close contact with people who may not be vaccinated and avoiding situations that offer little benefit but a meaningful risk of infection. Taking children to a crowded, poorly ventilated restaurant, for example, seems questionable.
I bolded the line that most resonates with me and what I'll consider moving forward when situations arise and I have to make a decision.
You guys, I'm so freaking frustrated. A couple of weeks ago, an admin came to ask me if I could take over another teacher's Advisory class. Said teacher is pregnant and 45 and is feeling so worn down, so she needs to take the last period off every day. I ain't mad about that...I guarantee I would try to do the same.
However.
Her class sucks. They have clearly been able to just do whatever they want the whole year. They are sophomores and can't even be remotely focused on anything, and they never ever ever shut up. There are a few kids who are lovely and clearly as annoyed as I am, but I'm rolling in for the last month of the year and am a stranger to them, so of course they don't really care. I just want to yell at them every day. There are also 3 of them that I have to CONSTANTLY remind to pull up their masks. I haven't had to say that ONCE to my students this year, even the freshmen. Yesterday, H covered for me so I could go do some things and it was heaven to not have to come to class for the full 90 minutes. We are provided a "curriculum" but it is TERRIBLE and they have no buy in at all, and nor do I, because I haven't been able to build anything.
I'm also salty at admin who said, "oh, you can say no" when I absolutely could not say no. They should have covered this with one of the in-house subs, since I was already assigned to co-teach another advisory class who I know and have connections with and enjoy. Their whole "we can trust you" is bullshit.
I'm just super dreading the next five weeks. Like, DREADING. I know I'm spoiled by having mostly AP kids, but man, this class is just sucking the life out of me.
Post by seeyalater52 on Apr 22, 2021 18:01:02 GMT -5
I have nowhere else to put this so I’m going to put it here.
Disclaimer: I am a whiny, complainy person on even the best day, so I FULLY support parents being able to vent about their kids and the difficulties of being a parent. I also recognize that I’ve only been trapped in my house with my kid for the last 7 months so y’all who have been doing this with mobile/verbal kids while working full time for a lot longer obviously have a different experience right now.
I LOVE being a mom. Like so much. I know, I know, anyone I’ve admitted this to has been sure to remind me that I’ll probably hate it with time (not sure if that’s true or not) but right now I love it. My baby is so easy and sweet and adorable and I’m so good at taking care of him and we are having so much fun. Maybe it is that I went into having a kid SUPER clear-eyed that it would be hard, so the hard parts don’t seem that hard?
My wife is struggling a little. They have ADHD and executive functioning issues aren’t their strongest suit. They also need a LOT of sleep and get exhausted easily. It’s hard to talk to them about how amazing I feel right now because they’re clearly rundown and overwhelmed and struggle when they need to do baby care without me.
All the other new parents I know seem miserable and I feel for them but it never feels like the right time to talk about my actual experience. I don’t have tips for how to get your baby to sleep because mine just... sleeps by himself, basically? I don’t need to complain about not getting enough sleep because I get more now than I did before I had a baby. I’m not exhausted or overwhelmed. He is so good natured and chill and happy to just hang out and play or practice his skills or whatever. I don’t want to make up complaints about him to fit in with how I’m supposed to be feeling. I just want to be able to be. And the new parents aren’t my people and my infertility friends are obviously the wrong audience for this and so I guess y’all are my people. ❤️
Be sure to save this little gem for when Jules is a toddler because I’m sure karma is gonna get me. 😬
Be sure to save this little gem for when Jules is a toddler because I’m sure karma is gonna get me. 😬
I think this is the right response to have to people who want you to complain “We have been so lucky so far - he’s been a good sleeper and is pretty easy going. I’m sure he will be a handful of a toddler to make up for it!” You can also recognize other things that have worked in your favor - extended leave, etc.
Be sure to save this little gem for when Jules is a toddler because I’m sure karma is gonna get me. 😬
I think this is the right response to have to people who want you to complain “We have been so lucky so far - he’s been a good sleeper and is pretty easy going. I’m sure he will be a handful of a toddler to make up for it!” You can also recognize other things that have worked in your favor - extended leave, etc.
Oh totally. I just hate feeling like I’m being accused of being braggy when people ask how I’m doing. No I’m really ok. Yes we are very lucky. No I don’t expect it’s all going to be miserable and horrible for the rest of my life. Yes I’m aware I probably like the infant stage more than your average person.
To be clear, all of these people are also either SAH parents or have been on leave this whole time, although some of them do not have easy babies like mine. Obviously I’m not talking to people who are trying to balance work and parenting all “la dee dah my life is so great.”
Post by formerlyak on Apr 22, 2021 19:35:39 GMT -5
seeyalater52 wrt your wife - I have two kids with two different husbands. With my first I had PPD and anxiety and my then husband didn’t help unless I asked and he never asked me what I needed. He also, I found out later, felt all the focus was on the baby and none on him. Now he’s a narcissist so that may not be an issue here, but all that to say, we needed to step up talking to each other. We likely still would have divorced in the end, because that is not why we divorced, but it would have made the early days easier. If he’d just say, “Hey. How can I make your life better or easier today?” Would have gone a long way. Unfortunately I wasn’t confident or strong enough to let him know I was really struggling, so he may not have even known. But since you know your wife is struggling, if you have the bandwidth, maybe ask them if there’s something you can do to make their day better. Not because it’s your job or because you aren’t doing things for them, but when I was struggling it would have been nice to hear.
seeyalater52 wrt your wife - I have two kids with two different husbands. With my first I had PPD and anxiety and my then husband didn’t help unless I asked and he never asked me what I needed. He also, I found out later, felt all the focus was on the baby and none on him. Now he’s a narcissist so that may not be an issue here, but all that to say, we needed to step up talking to each other. We likely still would have divorced in the end, because that is not why we divorced, but it would have made the early days easier. If he’d just say, “Hey. How can I make your life better or easier today?” Would have gone a long way. Unfortunately I wasn’t confident or strong enough to let him know I was really struggling, so he may not have even known. But since you know your wife is struggling, if you have the bandwidth, maybe ask them if there’s something you can do to make their day better. Not because it’s your job or because you aren’t doing things for them, but when I was struggling it would have been nice to hear.
Yes! I do this a lot. I’m not sure if it’s helping? They have underlying mental health issues (as do I - and everyone expected I’d have massive PPD/PPA so my relative good mental health is a surprise) and have a great care team. What they mostly want is down time away from the baby and that’s fine most of the time. I am definitely the primary caretaker and that works out ok for us like ... 90% of the time. Until I need a break and can’t get one. We eagerly await the ability to get a sitter for a few hours sometime in the next couple of months.
We also just decided that they’d go back to orange theory since not being able to have that outlet has been really rough. It’s a big expense and extra time that I’ll need to be taking on with kiddo but hopefully it will help.
Be sure to save this little gem for when Jules is a toddler because I’m sure karma is gonna get me. 😬
I just had my 3 year old sit on my lap and scream in my face for a half hour because I wouldn’t let him have his pacifier. He finally admitted he was hungry and then happily accepted some Pirate Booty. He was a pretty easy baby, but the toddler rage is real.
Be sure to save this little gem for when Jules is a toddler because I’m sure karma is gonna get me. 😬
I just had my 3 year old sit on my lap and scream in my face for a half hour because I wouldn’t let him have his pacifier. He finally admitted he was hungry and then happily accepted some Pirate Booty. He was a pretty easy baby, but the toddler rage is real.
🤣🤣🤣 Do you just laugh at him? I’d have a hard time not laughing lol.
I have nowhere else to put this so I’m going to put it here.
Disclaimer: I am a whiny, complainy person on even the best day, so I FULLY support parents being able to vent about their kids and the difficulties of being a parent. I also recognize that I’ve only been trapped in my house with my kid for the last 7 months so y’all who have been doing this with mobile/verbal kids while working full time for a lot longer obviously have a different experience right now.
I LOVE being a mom. Like so much. I know, I know, anyone I’ve admitted this to has been sure to remind me that I’ll probably hate it with time (not sure if that’s true or not) but right now I love it. My baby is so easy and sweet and adorable and I’m so good at taking care of him and we are having so much fun. Maybe it is that I went into having a kid SUPER clear-eyed that it would be hard, so the hard parts don’t seem that hard?
My wife is struggling a little. They have ADHD and executive functioning issues aren’t their strongest suit. They also need a LOT of sleep and get exhausted easily. It’s hard to talk to them about how amazing I feel right now because they’re clearly rundown and overwhelmed and struggle when they need to do baby care without me.
All the other new parents I know seem miserable and I feel for them but it never feels like the right time to talk about my actual experience. I don’t have tips for how to get your baby to sleep because mine just... sleeps by himself, basically? I don’t need to complain about not getting enough sleep because I get more now than I did before I had a baby. I’m not exhausted or overwhelmed. He is so good natured and chill and happy to just hang out and play or practice his skills or whatever. I don’t want to make up complaints about him to fit in with how I’m supposed to be feeling. I just want to be able to be. And the new parents aren’t my people and my infertility friends are obviously the wrong audience for this and so I guess y’all are my people. ❤️
Be sure to save this little gem for when Jules is a toddler because I’m sure karma is gonna get me. 😬
My first was like this! They’re 13 and about to graduate and still like this. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Enjoy it and love him! By the way, their birth name was Julia, so similar name!!!! I wonder if it goes with the name!
seeyalater52, I felt so much the same when I had my son. If I was able to work from home, I am pretty sure I would have been even more relaxed and happy.
You seem like you're sensitive to other peoples' feelings on this issue so that's good.
I have nowhere else to put this so I’m going to put it here.
Disclaimer: I am a whiny, complainy person on even the best day, so I FULLY support parents being able to vent about their kids and the difficulties of being a parent. I also recognize that I’ve only been trapped in my house with my kid for the last 7 months so y’all who have been doing this with mobile/verbal kids while working full time for a lot longer obviously have a different experience right now.
I LOVE being a mom. Like so much. I know, I know, anyone I’ve admitted this to has been sure to remind me that I’ll probably hate it with time (not sure if that’s true or not) but right now I love it. My baby is so easy and sweet and adorable and I’m so good at taking care of him and we are having so much fun. Maybe it is that I went into having a kid SUPER clear-eyed that it would be hard, so the hard parts don’t seem that hard?
My wife is struggling a little. They have ADHD and executive functioning issues aren’t their strongest suit. They also need a LOT of sleep and get exhausted easily. It’s hard to talk to them about how amazing I feel right now because they’re clearly rundown and overwhelmed and struggle when they need to do baby care without me.
All the other new parents I know seem miserable and I feel for them but it never feels like the right time to talk about my actual experience. I don’t have tips for how to get your baby to sleep because mine just... sleeps by himself, basically? I don’t need to complain about not getting enough sleep because I get more now than I did before I had a baby. I’m not exhausted or overwhelmed. He is so good natured and chill and happy to just hang out and play or practice his skills or whatever. I don’t want to make up complaints about him to fit in with how I’m supposed to be feeling. I just want to be able to be. And the new parents aren’t my people and my infertility friends are obviously the wrong audience for this and so I guess y’all are my people. ❤️
Be sure to save this little gem for when Jules is a toddler because I’m sure karma is gonna get me. 😬
My first was like this! They’re 13 and about to graduate and still like this. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Enjoy it and love him! By the way, their birth name was Julia, so similar name!!!! I wonder if it goes with the name!
Maybe it’s a name thing! I love that you have a chill kiddo. So much of it is luck it’s not like I take any credit but it’s been fun so far. He’ll be our only living child so we aren’t taking chances with any future kids. 🤣
seeyalater52, I felt so much the same when I had my son. If I was able to work from home, I am pretty sure I would have been even more relaxed and happy.
You seem like you're sensitive to other peoples' feelings on this issue so that's good.
FWIW, it makes me happy to read your happy posts.
I’m good at being supportive to people having a hard time... that was me for SO long and it’s miserable and people need to vent and get support. But I also feel a little isolated. And maybe guilty. It’s nice to have internet friends who can kinda relate and be happy for my happiness. ❤️
seeyalater52, I felt so much the same when I had my son. If I was able to work from home, I am pretty sure I would have been even more relaxed and happy.
You seem like you're sensitive to other peoples' feelings on this issue so that's good.
FWIW, it makes me happy to read your happy posts.
I’m good at being supportive to people having a hard time... that was me for SO long and it’s miserable and people need to vent and get support. But I also feel a little isolated. And maybe guilty. It’s nice to have internet friends who can kinda relate and be happy for my happiness. ❤️
I'm happy you're happy! My kids were both easy babies too. I loved being home with them...it was a little harder with #2, but when I could just focus on the one squishy adorable happy baby i had zero complaints. I think the key is that they slept. Sleeping babies are magical creatures.
seeyalater52 my easy baby turned into a hellion spawn at 18 months and is still a demon to this very day at age 4, but if anyone deserves a magical unicorn child it's you.
seeyalater52 my easy baby turned into a hellion spawn at 18 months and is still a demon to this very day at age 4, but if anyone deserves a magical unicorn child it's you.
In fairness I did call him a demon the other day when he bit my nipple so hard it bled and then laughed maniacally at me wincing so there’s still time I guess. 😭