“Magic number” (income) - for fun

[coffee]

What was the “magic number” (income) in your household that made you feel relaxed/comfortable?. Basically when you stopped anxiously/excitingly looking to raise that income and any extra became a fun new goal.

And if you still don’t get to that point, what is the “magic number” you think you will feel comfortable meeting your goals?

For us it was $180K. Before that we were still trying to get the income up to meet our basic, personal goals.

I started feeling comfortable at about $150K, but knew that I would probably not meet my dream goal of paying all of my children’s college. The $180K gave me that, plus a “free pass” to new dreams.

[shortstax]

Things got much more comfortable with a combined income of $90-100k. We're beyond that now. The more important "magic number" for me is seeing how my retirement/assets grow. that's what's giving me freedom to consider going PT or downshifting in the future.

[mcsangel2]

For us (DINKS in MCOL area), it was probably about $90k combined. When we bought our house 16 years ago our HHI was $65k. I think we're at about $114k now.

[fryjack2]

We are at it now but are in professions that don't have much growth in income from bonuses, etc. so are essentially lucky that our careers pay well.

We can afford everything we need, retirement accounts have more than enough, we do almost anything we want when we want, and we give a decent amount away.

[acuore]

It keeps changing as our HH income has gone up. I’m starting to wonder if there is any number (income or retirement) I would feel totally comfortable with. Objectively, we’re more than fine - all our needs and pretty much all our wants are more than met - but I just can’t seem to relax about it, and I’m really not sure why. 

[sadlebred]

I'll let ya'll know if I ever get there.

[ellipses84]

To do slightly better than barely make ends meet in HCOL with childcare expenses? $120k. There’s been many years we were lower. To feel like it’s a good salary that we can do more with? $140-150k. Anything above that is probably unrealistic for our careers, but that $20-30k extra per year makes a huge difference. Also, I feel like we are finally in a position to get ahead, with childcare costs reducing, debts being paid off, etc. Having a solid retirement account makes me feel a lot better, too. I’m comfortable with where it’s at and the rate we contribute although it’s probably low by MM standards. Like, even if our financial situation isn’t the best, at least I have a good retirement account. Our 30s have been full of unpredictable financial / life setbacks.

[raangoli]

May 5, 2021 20:58:42 GMT -5 acuore said:

It keeps changing as our HH income has gone up. I’m starting to wonder if there is any number (income or retirement) I would feel totally comfortable with. Objectively, we’re more than fine - all our needs and pretty much all our wants are more than met - but I just can’t seem to relax about it, and I’m really not sure why. 

Same here. I know we are more than fine and at the point where we can "throw money at things" to solve a problem. But even then, I hesitate in doing so. If I were to guess, I would say it's because of the way I was raised - a child of immigrants whose parents were self employed. 

The other day MH and I were talking about what we feel is a comfortable overall retirement number and that was also interesting - his was waaaay higher than mine. 

[Cappy]

Not there. If I had to guess I'd probably say 175k (we live in a LCOL) taking into account a tax band bump .

I budget and rebalance to the penny and it always feels like we are scraping by despite being at 123k. I'd love to max retirement and still enough to manage the unexpected expenses that come up.

[lilypad1126]

I guess I'm close to there now? Our HHI is around $100k and neither of us feels like we are scraping by or living paycheck to paycheck. Would I like more? Yes, yes I would. I make the vast majority of our income, and I feel like once I break $100k on my own, I'll feel better. But we're comfortable where we are now and on track with retirement savings so I'm trying to not stress about it.

[pearls]

I don't know there is a magic number for us... While I feel more comfortable now (than say I did 5 years ago) due to hitting goals like maxing out our 401ks, I don't feel like we can relax. I think for me that comes from going through a divorce previously that nearly wiped me out financially, and seeing family go through large, unexpected medical costs. It's this thought in the back of my mind about not knowing what is enough of a cushion.

[lightbulbsun]

I think this changes as our lives change. We try not to change our lifestyle whenever we get raises, but it's a lot easier now to afford extras, and to save for things like home remodel project. Our dog has cancer and we've been able to pay for her treatments, which we couldn't have done 10 years ago.

I would say we were fine when our household income was $100k, but we really became comfortable when it hit $140k. When my personal income got to $70k I finally started maxing my 401k, so I was really happy with that.

[ECB]

May 5, 2021 20:58:42 GMT -5 acuore said:

It keeps changing as our HH income has gone up. I’m starting to wonder if there is any number (income or retirement) I would feel totally comfortable with. Objectively, we’re more than fine - all our needs and pretty much all our wants are more than met - but I just can’t seem to relax about it, and I’m really not sure why. 

Exactly!!! 

What we're making now, I KNOW is good and much higher than the national average.  But for where we live?  It's low - most people we know make a lot more.  

But - we live a comfortable life and if we really put our mind to savings (which this past year has actually done!), we can afford to do stuff that we sometimes think we can't.

The biggest issue now, though, is that we decided to move our son to private school next year.  This is a choice I NEVER thought we'd make.  EVER.  but our public school leadership has really,really disappointed us and we've lost a lot of faith.  There are other reasons too (while smart, our son isn't a good student and I'm hoping that going to a school that "knows how to teach to boys" will help on this front).  But this is a huge financial hit that we weren't planning on.  So that's upped my "magic number". 

[purplepenguin7]

I wish I knew. I make more money then I ever dreamed would be possible and my combined HHI is something I'd never thought we'd reach when we first started out. And yet, we can't afford to buy a house in the NY/NY area we want to live in (thanks covid), we can't afford a second child, and we still have to carefully budget and watch our spending. We do live comfortably, drive two new-ish cars, buy new clothes, but hardly ever travel, covid aside. We do live in a HCOL area, but there are often times where I wonder how we seem stuck financially at $185k HHI.

[ckay]

May 5, 2021 19:36:24 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

For us (DINKS in MCOL area), it was probably about $90k combined. When we bought our house 16 years ago our HHI was $65k. I think we're at about $114k now.

I could’ve written this exact post! Except we bought our first house 18 years ago.

[sillygoosegirl]

It wasn't a certain point on income, it was when we bought our house. I stressed a lot about money before we bought our house. We easily could have had to spend $500K+ for the kind of house we wanted during the boom, so when we closed on our "forever" home for only $282K, a huge weight lifted.

[turkletsmom]

Unfortunately I don't think I will ever relax about money which sucks. Because of things that happened in childhood/teen years I have always stressed about having enough. On paper- we have always done great. When H and I moved in together in our mid-20s our combined income was always at least $100k and we were DINKS for years so we had paid off all student loans and other debt before we had kids. Even now, our retirements are fine and we have enough saved to cover any emergency that wouldn't be covered by health/home/car insurance, but I still budget us to the penny and worry that something will happen that will crush us financially.

[simpsongal]

It's all changed so much - it's not so much our income as it is income + expenses. So it's a moving target? But I'd say next year when we're done w/daycare.

We were plenty comfortable when DH finally found a post-2008 job, we were renting and saving for a house and had no kids. But everything went to the house fund + my student loans, we didn't vacation or spend much else. We were making ~$150K/yr combined HCOL. Our income has doubled since then. Our home expenses are high, daycare + SLs....but it's gotten easier.

The leanest feeling years were ~2-3 yrs ago when we had 2 in fulltime daycare. Our incomes were good but the expenses of daycare and SLs were over $60K/yr. Things have felt much more comfortable w/1 in daycare. I imagine it will feel luxurious when DD finishes daycare next year! And in ~3-4 yrs my SLs will be paid off.

[mommin]

In 2013 DH got a new job and a big pay bump to $120k. I felt like we had finally arrived and had the perfect salary. Now, 8 year later, we have another kid, all the kids are older and more expensive, we refinanced to a 15 year mortgage, and life in general costs more. We aren’t extravagant but there’s no way we could we could comfortably live on that now. We live in a pretty hcol area with high taxes and hope to move soon. If we moved somewhere less expensive to live I would be comfortable with less but still don’t know if I could get back to $120k. Kids are dang pricey to have around.

[sugarbear]

I would feel comfortable at $130k.
I make $90k.
Sad trombone.

[chilerellanos]

I have no idea, and I’ll never see it.

[flygirl]

I’d say $150K but I’ll add that this last year has made it a lot easier as we haven’t had daycare nor commuting costs so we’ve spent a ton of money on stuff we wouldn’t have normally been able to work into the budget.

[cosmowife]

I don’t think I’ll ever feel comfortable. I was only working for a few years when 2008 hit, and I saw everyone’s retirement disappear. Luckily (?) I hadn’t really saved anything at that point so I wasn’t really financially affected. But even though our retirement and investments look good now, I keep feeling like it is too good to be true and they are just going to disappear one day.

[keweenawlove]

For me it's been more about stability of jobs than the just the number. When it was just H and I and I was doing my post-doc, we were just above $100k for a few years and definitely felt comfortable (no kids or SLs, L-MCOL). But I was constantly nervous about money knowing my job wouldn't last forever and I didn't know what was next. When I started my fulltime job that doubled my salary, the pay jump was definitely nice but knowing it wasn't a contract that would expire was the biggest thing that made me feel comfortable.

[plutosmoon]

This is a very good question, my budget is very tight, but I feel comfortable in the sense my income allows me to pay all my needs and a few wants. I save 15% for retirement, pay for activities, have no debt outside a modest car loan, and save a little bit each month. I'm hopeful in another 6-8 months to have enough added to a downpayment fund to put 20% down on a home re-purchase. My salary is in the 60k range, another 10k a year and I'd probably feel practically wealthy, but my budget was so tight for so long, I just got used to it, plus my area has a low to medium COL. When I first got my raise and promotion I felt like I had so much money, but my spendthrift ex also moved out around the same time I got my raise. Now that I've settled in at this new income, I see where it's still a stretch. I do random things for a bit of extra cash and do a lot of second hand shopping. I only have one child though, with 2 kids I'd be struggling at this income. I also have some really fantastic benefits from my job that enable my goals even at a lower income. My retirement match is really good, my health insurance amazing, there are retiree insurance benefits, an extraordinarily generous tuition benefit for dependents to their college of choice.

[aspentosh]

This is hard to answer for us. When we were making $80-$100k, we had a lot of debt that H brought into the relationship and were working very hard to pay it off so things felt VERY tight. Especially in a HCOL.

I'd say a comfortable number was around $130-140k for us. One kid, I quit to SAH, we bought a reasonably priced house, can travel and max all retirement vehicles, etc. We're higher than that now and the only real thing that has changed is we save more, do more traveling (in non-COVID times), and can do home projects more quickly. I am still very frugal, though. Maybe that's why it feels like more than we need?

[woowoo]

This is a hard one to answer. Years ago (pre-kid, before owning a home) we felt fantastic at $150K. But over the years we made (appropriate) financial decisions and when my husband's salary was cut entirely (furloughed) and then my salary was temporarily cut, it felt tight at $130K. But we have more money in savings now than we ever did before Covid, so I guess we made it work (not traveling or eating out apparently really DOES help you save money).

So I guess $130K is a fair "sweet" spot of where we wouldn't have to worry. But we already have money in savings so I'm not sure I would feel that way if we didn't.

[Mushe]

acuore hit the nail on the head for me.

I think part of my hesitance to feel overly comfortable is that I’m funneling so much money into retirement that we don’t FEEL like our income is what it is. H had been maxing 401k for a while, but now has some weird extra Max? I don’t really get it. I can use both 401k and 457 up to the max, so if possible I’d love to get to maxing both, and am pretty close, but just swapped to make one of them a Roth contribution, so that reduced take home pay.

I asked H just last night when we should stop contributing to our kids’ 529s, and he laughed, like, never? But our son’s is pretty healthy already.

ETA: My anxiety is partly because we started pretty late to aggressively saving, as H didn’t get out of grad school until he was early 30s and me late 20s, and we each took out loans, although our amazing parents got us through undergrad. We are definitely still in catch up mode there. I also am now in a really political position, so I worry about longevity at this salary.

[aprilsails]

$100k was a very sweet spot for us as DINKs where I could really stop doing monthly budgeting, could take on some big house projects, and had enough to go on a big trip alternating years.

With kids in the mix, we would need to have $150k minimum. We just did a year on that while I was on maternity leave and we were still able to save and do needed home improvements while still keeping an eye on our budget. Now that I’m back to work full time we are quite comfortable.

I am very grateful and honestly quite shocked at our combined income at this point. DH went into career overdrive when DD was born, and has made some very good career moves. I’ve had my same steady growth, but it’s really starting to add up. Now that I’ve hit $100k personally, I have comfort in knowing that I could manage by myself if I ever had to do so.

[jewel]

I don’t think there’s a particular income number that has given me that comfort, but a combo of meeting goals:
- by sheer luck, entered the housing market perfectly timed, which has allowed us to now be in a home that I really love (this is the number one factor - we could have never afforded this house as our first purchase)
- several years of infertility delayed kids and allowed us to really aggressively save when we had 2 incomes
- I now SAH and my H has a stable public sector job with excellent benefits

We are now in the $125k-ish range in a MCOL. We save decently for retirement, but not the max. We are frugal in some areas but spend more freely in others. We could definitely have more fun with more money, but we don’t “worry” about money. I think we may have actually brought home more money 10 years ago, when I was working, but it took those years of aggressively saving and paying to get to the point of comfort.

Also - a lot of my feelings of financial insecurity were anxiety-related and being medicated helps me see more clearly and worry a lot less 😊