Monday monday monday

[mustardseed2007]

hope everyone had a good weekend. 

[twinmomma]

We made it through the birthday party weekend! When I booked the petting zoo, they told me we had to hit 70 degrees to hold it outside. Didn't have to worry about that, because it was pushing 90! We put up a couple ez up tents for shade and everyone was melting, but had an awesome time. The kids loved the whole experience. The girls have already asked if they can have the same animal guy come back for their party next year.

Yesterday beau and I went to a baby shower for one of his friends. It was so nice to dress up and get out together and visit with people. It felt "normal" and fun to be socializing like that. We got to see some people that we haven't seen since last summer!

My one vent about the weekend is courtesy of exH. This man is constantly pulling the "I'm so broke" card. He can't chip in for kid expenses, woe is him for having a crappy apartment because he's so poor, he tells the kids he doesn't have any extra money for them, etc... What does he show up with for a present for the girls? Two American Girl Dolls and a FULL set up of accessories. It had to be like $600+ of stuff. How did he suddenly have all this extra cash to buy their love? It was really bizarre.

[186momx]

Weekend was okay. DH forgot our anniversary yesterday. Like when I said happy anniversary he was like no it is next week weekend and we had a huge argument over the date. We got married on the 23rd which was memorial day weekend so he insisted our anniversary is over the holiday weekend. Oh well I didn't do anything other than cook a nice dinner.

Gymnastic meet trip was eventful. We were rudely awaken at 4am to a huge fight in the hall. No I didn't get out of bed to call the front desk I just buried my head. I didn't get a super fancy hotel as we were just going to crash. DD and I were waiting for Target to open up at 7:45 so we could go buy some donuts and get me some coffee. The plan was to do brunch since her meet started at 11:15. Good news was traffic wasn't horrible driving up and traffic coming home was better than I expected.

Rest of the weekend was very uneventful. DD slept almost 15 hours both Friday and Saturday nights.

[sandandsea]

We had soccer for both boys this weekend and I now have a sinus infection. I hate allergy season because this is how it always goes for me. Allergies then allergy meds, then sinus infection.

And today we get our replacement new fridge and I’m praying it’s not also damaged and this can be the end of the fridge saga.

ETA. The replacement fridge was also dented. SMH. But it’s teeny tiny and on the side no one will ever see. They offered us $400 in compensation to keep it so we kept it and I’m calling it a win.

[librarychica]

We had a nice Saturday and a productive Sunday helping my younger brother move. Today has been a cluster. Multiple broken things at work, I am so behind, and very frustrated. Plus my brother is texting me about everything wrong with his new rental.

I love my brother but he is just really becoming independent at almost 30. He’s always worked and paid his bills, but for various reasons my parents protected him and he’s mostly lived with them. He moved into a rental condo yesterday, it’s small, dated and needs some repairs but it’s safe and in a nice area. I think he will like it once he’s settled and everything is fixed up but today he is frustrated and texting me because he doesn’t want to upset my parents. I am trying to set boundaries because I am prone to becoming over invested in peoples’ happiness and getting anxious when people I care about are not happy.

So today’s mantra, I can be sympathetic to my angry employee who is angry about our updated mask rules and I can be sympathetic to my brother, but neither of their emotions are my responsibility. They are grown. Repeat.

[mae0111]

The weather was beautiful this weekend. We spent a lot of time outside. Friday the kids swam a bit. DD2 was pushing to have every neighborhood kid over and I put my foot down after a long week.

Saturday morning DD1 had softball, then had a teammate over to swim. A friend if DD2 had a game on the field next to DD1, so I invited her over too. So I got nothing done on Saturday but we all had fun.

Sunday DH too DD2 to soccer while I did piles of laundry and tried to switch summer and winter clothes. I told DD1 that we really couldn’t have anyone over because my entire room was covered in clothes. Somehow, to her, that meant that she should immediately invite everyone in the neighborhood over. So I’m carrying loads of laundry and I see kids on my front lawn in their swimsuits carrying towels. 🙄

This week we have sports Mon, Tues, Wed, then nothing Thurs or Fri. Then the weekend is packed with softball practices and a soccer tournament. The weather should be on the cooler side, so that’s good!

[phdmomma]

It was a good weekend, with a playdate and other fun stuff. Now that things are starting to come back on our calendar though, I am trying to think about how to structure things so that we aren't crazy busy like we were before with stuff that I don't enjoy. For example, the invite the whole class birthday parties, we used to have one of those almost every weekend. Or all of the kids' extracurricular stuff. I want to find a way to preserve some of this family time that we've gotten to have during the pandemic, because in some ways it was really nice. I'm feeling torn, because at the same time, I am excited for things to be more open this summer.

[sdlaura]

I spent the past several days celebrating my 40th birthday - which is today. I'm feeling super lucky and grateful to have so many awesome family and friends who helped me celebrate and reached out to wish me a happy birthday.

Thursday I drove up the coast a few hours and picked up 3 girlfriends at the airport who flew in from Denver and Portland, then we drove inland an hour to a wine area. We had great food (dinner our first night we were sitting next to a winemaker couple who happened to bring a 1981 wine to dinner - the year my other friend celebrating her 40th and I were born - and shared it with us). We visited 2 wineries and 3 tasting rooms Friday and managed not to get too drunk and were in bed by 10 pm. We also did a puzzle and a couple of runs together. I like traveling with these friends because no one is a crazy partier and it's nice to wake up not hungover. Saturday we went to a hotel pool and then I drove back in some crappy LA traffic in time for the kids' bedtimes.

Yesterday our good friends here rented a cabana at the adult pool at a nice local resort and we hung out with them and another couple. It was relaxing and we we also all went to the family pool to ride the waterslides. This morning I met a friend for a walk along the coast and she brought an "It's my birthday" sash she made me wear, and she announced to all passerby that it was my 40th I'm working most of today. DS1 has his last baseball game this afternoon and then we're going to dinner with our friends we got to know through our remote school pod in the fall. We've never taken all four kids to a restaurant, so that should be interesting. At least we'll be sitting outside.

[mustardseed2007]

Saturday was a low key day until I tried to go with DH and the kids to buy stuff for DS' camp. I also tried to buy a few things for DS' end of year celebration since I'm the room mom and DH got all bent out of shape because it wasn't camp stuff and I was only suppose to be there for camp stuff.

he was such an a$ $ about it that I put everything in our cart back and left and bought the stuff on amazon instead. I'm still a little peeved about it.

Then DD had a birthday playdate that turned into a 9am to 5pm playdate and mom date. It was fun but....I was so tired after - mentally and physically. And I thought I'd get a run in after all that and instead an emergency came up at work that I'm still working on today.

FFS people are irritating me.

[186momx]

phdmomma, we've never been invited to a full class party. We've maybe attended 6 b-day parties since DD entered K. Try blocking out the whole day with a giant X. It works wonders at work when we want to concentrate on something.

[supertrooper1]

Happy birthday sdlaura!

librarychica, I'm struggling with the same thing of not trying to internalize other people's issues.

This weekend felt off for some reason and I'm not entirely sure why. DS didn't want to do anything and Beau just wanted to get out of the house but didn't have any plans. We ended up taking the quads up into the mountains on Saturday, but his throttle broke about 10 minutes in. DS and I continued on for a bit and then went back down the mountain. We brought Beau's grandson home with us for the night.

We took his grandson home at 3, but no one was home so we ended up going for a drive. Unproductive weekend with no plans but I feel like I need to rest from the weekend.

[mustardseed2007]

Saturday was fine until I tried to go to target. DH got mad when I tried to buy stuff for the DS' class gift for end of year (I'm room mom) because our stated reason for going to target was to shop for DS' camping stuff. I got so pissed with his constant criticism after I told him to lay off that we ended up leaving the store without buying anything.

Then Sunday we had a playdate/birthday with one of DDs friends. The mom wanted to do a mommy and me type party so we went to their house and played, went to brunch, went to the park and then painted ceramics, and then had dinner at their house afterwards. It was a loooong day. I enjoyed it but it's a lot of people time for me.

[rere]

Friday my washer went out so Dh and I spent the about 45 minutes watching the new washer.

Saturday and Sunday was our community burgoo barbecue fundraiser, so that was my plans. Sunday was a shower for a friends son.

Today, I got online and DS has straight As. He always had straight As until COVID and then bombed. Back in school 1 semester and hes back. I don't know eather to be pissed because of the earlier grades or be proud. I choose proud and gave him praise to finish out his high school career.

[campermom]

PDQ

I’m around. I had a couple of weeks of complete overwhelmingness. Like couldn’t make it through a whole day. Had to come home often.

Divorce hearing is in a couple of weeks.

The reason behind tonight’s upset? It’s STBX’s weekend and my parents invited him to their farm w the kids. He will spend a few days there. They didn’t tell me. He did. I’m so hurt.

Before you suggest a heart to heart with them, there’s a thing in covert narcissism called flying monkeys. When the narc makes the (woman) out to be “crazy”, his followers/fans believe that too. If I said it was upsetting I would be the bad guy.

My older two have each come to me to ask me how I feel about it and to say that they think it’s really odd.

[AdaraMarie]

campermom I'm sorry you are struggling. I 100% know what it is like to have to try not to "act crazy" when your x is doing insane shit because then it will "prove" that he is right about you. It can start to make you feel like you are losing it just from the effort.

[mae0111]

campermom - I’m sorry. It’s all so crazy.

I can’t give you advice, but I, personally, would not try to talk to my mom is she did this. It simply wouldn’t go anywhere. She in incapable of seeing another side. It sounds like your parents may be similar. This is something that would be filed away in my brain and called upon when needed. Probably not super healthy but I’ve figured out when conversations don’t work in my life.

[mustardseed2007]

campermom, well you already know this but it's really out of line of your parents. Really out of line. And of course it's totally fine to not talk to them when you know it's going to play out poorly. You're probably on to something there because only someone really out of touch would not see anything wrong with this from the get go.

[xctsclrx]

campermom, I am so sorry. I wouldn't matter if he was the best ex ever, this is your family they should be there for you. I am so sorry. I would be completely honest with your older kids about how you feel. They know something is wrong and feel it too. Don't dismiss their instincts. And please don’t excuse their bad behavior. Keep it age appropriate, but don't say it is okay when it isn't.

[phdmomma]

campermom, I would say that I think it's odd as well, when responding to your kids. But that this is what other people are choosing to do. And that you can't control what they do, but you can control how you react to it. Or you just don't react. Even though, yes it is insane.

[marie]

campermom, Would you be up for talking to them after the weekend? I understand your reason for not doing it now and asking them to cancel, but I think it is fine for you to say after the fact that you expect this to never happen again based on the way he treats you.

[mommyatty]

campermom- that’s just terrible. I’m sorry. There may come a point where you have to tell them they need to choose. If they want to keep a relationship with you, they need to acknowledge that he’s been an abusive jerk or you just will need to step back from your relationship with them. Your mental health is important.

[mae0111]

I’m breathing deeply right now...

Friday was the school’s annual Gala, but done online. Auctions for donated items, baskets, etc. I’m a room parent for DD2, we got assigned a sports-themed basket. My BIL was nice enough to donate 4 amazing baseball tickets by calling in a favor. Tickets are worth $500 face value. Our basket raised $2k.

Winner of the basket just texted me and those tickets don’t work for her... so could I change them?

😳

You want me to call up the company that donated the $500 tickets and ask for DIFFERENT $500 tickets?

It was all I could do not to tell her to f right off.

[mustardseed2007]

mae0111, wow. just WOW. Tell her to sell them.

[k3am]

mae0111, why is everyone at your school awful?

[mae0111]

May 26, 2021 15:39:48 GMT -5 k3am said:

mae0111, why is everyone at your school awful?

I KNOW RIGHT???

The town where the school is located is very wealthy and has a reputation for being super snobby and privileged-acting. They’re the type of people that will totally try to cut in front of you if there’s a long line at the coffee shop, because THEY ARE IMPORTANT WITH THINGS TO DO. But they will do it with a smile and act very surprised and offended if anyone calls them on it. Do you know what I mean?

So, I guess it’s just par for the course?

[twinmomma]

campermom, Keep this in mind too - he's probably taking the kids there because he knows your parents will do all the actual child care for him. Even though it's his weekend, he is getting other adults to do the hard work for him instead of parenting on his own. My exH used to do that all the time when we first split up. He'd either drop the kids off with his parents or spend the weekend there "visiting grandparents" aka letting his mom do all the parenting. It sucks that your parents are a part of this and I'd certainly address it with them after the fact. But know it's because he KNOWS he can't parent on his own, so he's passing the buck in a way that is easy and offered.