1. Ds leaves for bootcamp July 26. Send booze. 2. This week is nuts. Our accreditation site visit is tomorrow and I am the accreditation coordinator, so you can imagine my week. 3. We leave for vacation Saturday. Please for all that is holy the site visors dont have any documentation requests and I dont have to open my Surfpro on the beach.
k3am, you guys are already out of school? We go till the 18th - I thought that was a California thing to go late. Sorry about the camp situation!
After the long decision process to decide whether to send DD to sleepaway camp and I signed her up, she has changed her mind. She tried to do a sleepover at a friend's house Friday night and called me at 2 am in tears to say she couldn't sleep and could I come pick her up. So we decided maybe we should wait a year on sleepaway camp. I dropped off flowers and donuts to the mom the next morning. Luckily I hadn't cancelled day camp for that week yet, and the YMCA let me apply the "non-refundable" sleepaway camp deposit to my giant day camp balance.
DH and I got in an argument last night over the thermostat setting. Really it was about communication, but it's so dumb. We have plenty of more important things we could argue over, but he slept on the couch over a thermostat argument
We have DD's IEP meeting tomorrow at 3. We will finally get the results from the testing she did back in April. I need to get input on zoom etiquette question. Meeting should be me, Ms. B, Mrs. D (teacher), psych, and head SN director (she created meeting). I will be home with DD and the dog and plan to lock myself into my room alone. Should I be able to keep my mic on for the 30 minute meeting? I've done very little zooming and when I do zoom it is with 500+ people so no one talks other than the speaker. Last IEP meeting Mrs. D told me I had to keep my mic off because of background noise (I was at work during tax season). After this point the staff basically ignored me for the rest of the meeting.
DD has asked to not be pulled out of the middle of class this is her only wish. She wants to do any extra meetings (speech/title/etc.) either at the beginning of the day or the very end and has said she is willing to stay late or come early. She is really embarrassed by this process and is really worried her classmates are going to make fun of her. She isn't popular, has maybe 2 friends at school, and already is called a nerd/bookworm as she is always reading. Going to title which is where the kids who struggle with reading is a huge blow for her. So far the title teacher understands and she is doing private meetings right now. DD has been talking with the counselor about her feelings but he says he isn't included in any IEP stuff so he can just help her deal with what happens. She will be in 5th and has done no services in person. She started speech this year virtually.
sdlaura , today's the last day of school in our district. We go back in mid August. And then every 6 weeks, we have at least one week off. Apparently it started as furlow days, but the teachers all decided they liked it, and it helped with a lot of absenteeism. (Why pull your kid out of school to ski, when you have ski week?) This also means our spring break doesn't coincide with most schools spring breaks, which is excellent for planning trips.
This is our last week of school too. I’m trying to figure out what to do for kindergarten in the fall. Ds is at an amazing private school and thriving. He’s registered there and at our public school (ds1’s school) for the fall.
TLDR - private school is better but expensive and inconvenient so it makes me feel selfish wanting to put him in public
I loved our public school until Covid and then it really really sucked. There have been no communications about what fall looks like and if there will be before/after care available. Their planning, communication, and forethought are horrible. But the community is amazing, ds1 is committed to there for the next 2 years (until middle school) and it’s free.
The private school is expensive but the academics and social awareness he’s getting there are incredible. He’s reading and can count to 100 and do addition and subtraction with 0-10. I know he’s ahead going into kindergarten and likely wouldn’t learn anything new at the public School and he Likes learning and reading.
But I don’t want to pay for private and it sounds really nice to have one pickup and drop off as these 2 years is our last chance for that.
k3am, DD's favorite summer was when she had a couple 12 year old girls watching her. I made a loose schedule for them so it wasn't I'm bored on either part. A lot of between 9-11 go outside and do ABCDE, eat lunch around 12, crafts/games/inside stuff until 2 then snack and TV time until I got home at 3:30. I paid them whatever the drop in day rate was at DD's old daycare and both parents said it was too much.
sandandsea don't feel bad about making a choice that's more convenient for you. Less stressed parents = happier overall family. And I always think about all the fun camps, family vacations, etc. I can pay for when the money I'm saving on private school tuition. If one of my kids needed something special, I would consider private (and I did when our public schools weren't open), but I don't plan to go that route unless necessary, since we live very close to a great public school.
sandandsea, another thing to think about with the inconvenient choice is the social aspect. We chose an inconvenient private school over a horrible public school. So it really wasn't a choice for us. The only closer option closed mid-COVID, and really wasn't a good option anyway.
DD1 is totally left out. That could be related to any number of issues - her personality/NVLD/ADHD; the mess that happened last year and the damage that the bully left in her wake; or it could be that she is "geographically undesireable". We live 20-25 mins away from everyone in her class. DD2's class is very different and the kids live everywhere. DD1's girl classmates all live in the same town, and most in the same neighborhood within that town. So they all hang out together and don't think about DD1. It's an issue.
DD1 won an award and the ceremony is next week. I have to zoom in from the car because I won't make it home in time. Often there are events and half-days - others can zip home in between and I have to hang out. It sucks up the whole day. So it's not just about the inconvenient drop off and pick up, but also about inconvenient play dates and school events.
For us, it was 100% the right decision at the time. But I didn't really think hard enough about these impacts.
sandandsea, our district is a mess. I'd pull both kids out if money weren't a factor, but it is... But I'd never want to deal with one foot in two different worlds.
Again though... our district is a mess, and CA schools in general aren't anything to write home about. CA just decided that there's no longer going to be advanced math classes, and GATE is now just a designation that doesn't get any funding, additional resources or learning opportunities. So if you have a child that is academically gifted or ahead, public schools may not really be a good option if you're worried about boredom/engagement.
rere, I didn't realize he was going ahead with the military. What branch?
He's following my brother who is currently a Sgt. Major in the US army. He did well on his MEPS test, so after basic, he's headed to Airborne training and then to the Army Ranger training which is his goal.
Post by traveltheworld on Jun 3, 2021 17:12:17 GMT -5
DD got invited to a birthday party. DH was the one who got the invite and talk to the other mom, and I asked him what the other mom is like, and he said "oh just your average mom".
So I blocked off 2.5 hours from my work day, put on decent clothes, and took dd. Drove up to this miltimillion dollar mansion and realized this is definitely the "housewives of M" crowd. 4 bottles of wine was drank in the span of the 2.5 hours amongst the 4 other mom's and I. I felt odd not drinking, so I did. A little. Then I had to make dd leave at the end because I had work calls. She was upset and was all like "why do you always have to work? No one else has to leave!!"
Vent: I sent in registration paperwork for fall before/aftercare. In April. Only to find out mid May that.. it got stuck in my drafts. They have spots, but for aftercare only. I sent in paperwork for summer camp last week.. DH called to confirm because we haven't heard anything back and... it was stuck in drafts. This is literally the ONLY emails I've sent from my personal email account from desktop. I DON'T GET IT. And now we scramble...
Is it gmail? My work boyfriend is having a similar issue, and he's getting emails 4-5 days later.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Vent: I sent in registration paperwork for fall before/aftercare. In April. Only to find out mid May that.. it got stuck in my drafts. They have spots, but for aftercare only. I sent in paperwork for summer camp last week.. DH called to confirm because we haven't heard anything back and... it was stuck in drafts. This is literally the ONLY emails I've sent from my personal email account from desktop. I DON'T GET IT. And now we scramble...
Is it gmail? My work boyfriend is having a similar issue, and he's getting emails 4-5 days later.
You guys.. my child who has relentlessly been trying to grow her hair out for 5.5 years after it was shaved bald accidentally cut out huge random chunks of hair from about two inches from the scalp.. she is inconsolable. I feel so bad. I’m going to have her wash it and dry it and see how bad it really is, hopefully it’s salvageable.
But if she had done what I asked her to do instead of trying to do it on her own...
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jun 4, 2021 8:22:59 GMT -5
On private vs public, I chose private because i liked the school environment better and the academics and whatnot were as good as public—maybe better in places but maybe also worse. But we are in a unique position that technically our public school would have been great academically. Lately, public school in our district and state has been a place where political scores are settled and I hate it. It cemented my decision to be in private.
It puts us odd man out in our neighborhood for sure. But we have connected well with our community in the private school. If I had not, and I don’t know that I would have leaned into continuing to choose private because the social aspect is very important to me.
mustardseed2007 - I agree with odd man out. Not in our neighborhood, because we have a mix of kids that go to different schools (public, private, bussed to different public that can better meet needs, kids of divorced parents that go to school in different towns) and they all get on pretty well.
Where we see it is in sports. DD1 plays basketball for the town where the school is, but softball for the town where we live. No one really knows her in either spot, so she is thrown onto random teams. It worked out this year - nice kids on both teams - but sometimes it doesn’t. And usually the other kids are tight, and she’s not.
DD2 cares less because she has her club soccer team and she just kind of goes with the flow. But it’s all so hard for DD1, and with DH’s travel and activities for both, I can’t commit to coaching anymore. Which means I don’t control the roster.
waverly, I just sent you a PM with some info I got from my mom last night. I hope it helps!
Thanks! Dad does seem to be doing better so I am coming around to the maybe no nursing home idea. But he may need care for the rest of his life so we are going to need to aggressively pursue options to finance it. He has some money coming in but if it comes to something like out of pocket memory care, I know the places around here are 8k and 5k near my sister.
I am not sure if he still has an IV or not since my sister has been the one talking to the doctors.
PDQ I needed a new van-one thats AWD to get up my driveway in the winter. I had quite a few ugly cries this past year at the bottom of our hill, parking on the street and having to heft everyone out of the car and bring out things instead of parking in the garage. Never again. I got a 2021 Sienna and I’m proud of myself for taking a lot of time to research and negotiate. I got the military discount since I’m still married and had my card. I’ve never had a car payment but this will be manageable (I hope!)
My divorce hearing is this Tuesday, via phone. It should take 15 mins since our agreement is already in effect.
At the end of this, guys, I have full legal custody. He gave it all to me. He has no decision making in regards to medical, educational or religious.
Physical custody: I have primary custody Monday-Friday and we split weekends. He has 3 full weeks. This was an issue when he argued that a week is only m-f, and that he should not have to “absorb” my weekend on those weeks. He also argued that that time is there is he wants it, but he isn’t mandated to take it. He actually emailed the mediator to clarify this, asking if his “feet are held to the fire” on this. He has been dropping them off early (my newly installed camera notified me) and I stayed in the grocery store parking lot until the agreed upon time. We aren’t doing that game. I’m setting boundaries now.
After Tuesday I’m gonna tell you the low points of this. I have some stories.
But I’m getting emotionally and physically stronger every day. Me and my fake eyelashes and newly formed muscles.
Post by greenmonkey1 on Jun 8, 2021 17:09:39 GMT -5
186momx If the other participants are leaving their mics on during the entire meeting then I believe you should leave yours on as well. If you are going to be alone in the room and you can control the background noise then there is no reason for only you to be muted. If the teacher requests that you mute your mic unless speaking then I would ask that all members mute when not speaking. As the parent you should be a primary member of the IEP team and you should not be ignored in the meeting.
greenmonkey1, I ended up doing a little bit of both. I started with it on but then some of the staff were having internet/sound issues so I muted myself to see if that helped. I was on my own device so only saw whoever was speaking. We are supposed to have another meeting in the fall to see if what they are offering DD is working or not and I'm going to push to have it in person.
greenmonkey1 , I ended up doing a little bit of both. I started with it on but then some of the staff were having internet/sound issues so I muted myself to see if that helped. I was on my own device so only saw whoever was speaking. We are supposed to have another meeting in the fall to see if what they are offering DD is working or not and I'm going to push to have it in person.
If the IEP meeting ends up being on Zoom again in the fall you can change the view so that you see all participants rather than only the speaker. I prefer to have all people viewable in a smaller meeting because I find the switching between people/video feed disorienting on speaker view.
It took some time for me to find my voice in IEP meetings. 2/3 of my boys are on IEPs and I was so very spoiled with the preschool IEP team - they are amazing. I never had to ask for them to do what they were supposed to be doing. My experience with the elementary school has been not so amazing. Some things I let slide this past academic year because of covid and because they were technically meeting his IEP. Pluss I was a bit intimidated because I don't want to become "that parent". Next year I need to be more assertive. Nothing I am asking for is out of the range of normal nor would it be an undue burden on the teacher. Will it make the school rethink DS2's placements? Sure. But that's their job and responsibility as teachers/administrators/interventionists. And it is really only one person who is a thorn.