Its Thursday again. My sister is dealing with 99% of the dad stuff, so I don't mean to complain too much. However, I think she is over explaining to everyone everything instead of quietly getting him to sign the POA. No one will contest it because it is just me and her (unless you count my aunt who hates my dad). So now she has a letter from the hospital saying he cannot make financial and medical decisions, but has no DPOA for health or financial and no conservatorship, so she is basically nowhere. She is working with these homes, but she doesn't want to spend any of her own money which is fine, I guess. But we already spent 5K on the trip, that he is supposed to reimburse us for. So anyway, she only wants to work with homes that will work with her finances or not knowing when she can pay- which isn't many. So that's fine. She picked one, and likes one. But I guess I don't really need the play by play that this one wants her to pay (obviously) or that one wants a copy of the health POA. I mean, who do they think will make health decisions then, them? But the DPOA requires 2 witnesses or a notary, and she couldn't figure out how to sneak a notary into the hospital that only allows 1 visitor. I tried to explain remote notary, but I don't know if that state does that.
She should just place him in that home that seems to give her whatever she wants. I am thinking possibly he will get released today and she will transport him to the home. But hopefully, she will transport him to the bank, so he can add her to his account. It seems weird that he isn't competent to make decisions according to my sister or hospital, but he is fine to add her to his account, but it needs to be done so she can pay for his home. I feel like she is getting lost in legalities. She isn't trying to steal his money. She is trying to pay his bills and arrange for his care. Would it be weird to ask the bank to notarize a DPOA while she is there? But then part of me thinks she won't take him to the bank right away and then the circle will continue on how to pay. Also, I am concerned now that the letter is out there, we can't have him sign the DPOA.
There is a VA service that we can submit paperwork and get up to 2000 a month for his home, but I guess it takes a few months, and who knows how long it lasts for. I think we still need to seek out the disability increase because I don't think his mental capacity is coming back. I am trying to be there for her because it was like we extracted dad from South America and dumped him on her, but her area will be cheaper than my area and she works 5 minutes from the hospital so it all made sense. She is making forward progress, but there is a level of hand wringing, I think, understandably. But I think DH and I are a really good team in terms of ignoring the noise and getting things done. But she is doing this all on her own because her husband won't help, and I am trying to help from 4 hours away.
waverly, the hospital probably has a notary available for these kind of situations. At this point I think you being her sounding board is probably the best thing to do. My mom did this with my aunt about her mom for years and it was a huge mental toll.
DDOT/SOS: I want to throw the Switch off the roof! DH is horrible with it and has the worst attitude when he gets interrupted. I feel like I need to put child locks on it to help set boundaries. He plays for hours at a time. Has taken to playing it in bed after DD goes to bed in our room so I can watch TV in peace as the TV bugs him. This is fine but when I'm ready to go to bed he still wants to play with the light on. He has been playing until 11 most nights and I go to bed around 9 with my head buried in the pillow lately.
I finally heard from my BFF. The basement of the rental they are in was flooded during a big storm. They called the rental company right away as it was in the kids' room but it too the rental company a week to get there to look at it. Full on black mold and a bunch of other problems so they are evicting them and have no other rentals available. They have to be out by 4th of July weekend and can't find a place to rent. Plus she told me she is pregnant (surprise) so will need a place that can house 6 people. She is freaking out and the last 6 weeks or so have been just one disaster after another. I feel horrible but I can't do much being 1700 miles away.
Post by sandandsea on Jun 10, 2021 10:54:21 GMT -5
I finished the cousin shirts for our upcoming trips with BIL and his 2 kids. They turned out well but took so much effort. I feel like I’m Getting better at the Cameo but with every project I’m starting from scratch and learning new stuff. I just want it to be easy.
sandandsea one of our friends made the kids personalized coasters with her new cameo a while ago and the kids are obsessed with them. They NEED their “cup holders” to go to bed every night..
186momx , good point. She may not do things exactly how I would, but I think we would both get to a similar place in the end. Like today she is going to take him through the drive through at the bank, but I was thinking she should take him in to get put on the account. But they need an appointment and she doesn't know when discharge will be, and those things always seem to take forever. I'm still not sure how he is supposed to function with blood pressure all over the place but they said the supportive hose is helping with that. I hope she can get to the bank before they close because she needs like 9K to get him started or checks since we don't have checks for the account.
I'm more than halfway through my first day back! We made it out the door on time, I got myself an iced coffee on the way, and it's been SO nice to catch up with my coworkers. In the office I sit in a very central place and get to see a lot of people. At home I end up only getting to chat with my team and other leadership. This is totally going to become a regular thing for me.
Today is the first day that I *have* to be in the office because of company mandated returns. To be clear.. I’ve been coming in 1-2 days a week since this all started because even though I didn’t “have” to come into the office, I had to come into the office..
For some reason, it’s rough. Even hot chocolate (I don’t do coffee) didn’t help. And pressing down the keys on my crappy keyboard (I have a better one at home) seems like an obscene amount of effort. How do I even complain about that? Hey, IT, the keyboard buttons are really straining my fingers, can I have a new one? Also my new monitor is too big to sit to close to me, so I need a new monitor stand.. which will take an act of Congress…
I am having such a hard time because everyone is resisting going back to normal at work. Half want masks half don't or have other opinions, half don't want to move back to their offices. I just can't deal with all the complaints anymore. The world is moving forward in a certain way that I have no control over. I do not control the CDC or my state health department.
ETA- so I am also a negative Nancy and I am PMSing too which always makes my mood plummet for at least 4 days maybe.
Kids wrap up school tomorrow. We planned a nice day at an amusement park after I pick them up at 1130. Their behavior has been awful all week, but I blamed it on the heat and being busy overall. Today was gorgeous, nothing to do today, DD1 got an award at school… and the fighting and general shitty behavior started before we left the parking lot from school. It culminated in a full-on brawl in our driveway, caught on film by our nest camera.
Trip canceled.
I’m already over summer vacation. I’m so incredibly burnt out and generally very unhappy with my life right now.
Post by sandandsea on Jun 10, 2021 16:45:44 GMT -5
Yes everyone is resisting going back to the office. Im not sure where the idea came from that people would forever be able to WFH. We have survived this year but no one has excelled or blown our socks off with productivity or general excellence at home. Many think they have a case to WFH forever but they really don’t from the perspective of their bosses. It’s a hard message.
ETA. I’m fully for a hybrid model indefinitely but WFH has not worked well for new hires.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jun 10, 2021 17:05:29 GMT -5
I am resisting it. I mean not actively, but but subconsciously I am.
We are going to be on a hybrid until the end of summer. I would love to be able to WFH one day a week but even more so I would love to have a nanny pick my kids up from school permanently. I don't know that we're going to be able to make that happen though.
They are already onsite. We went back last June and only WFH one day a week. They are resisting moving out of a private office which is actually public space (study rooms), and moving back to their shared office. Everyone in the shared office is vaccinated. They just got used to having a private office.
And we have 35 people on staff so we have 35 different mask opinions. I don’t see how we can do our own thing forever. We need to follow the CDC and state. If they have an issue they can take it up with the CDC. That’s above me!
Oh an I am definitely looking for a new job because I am so tired of managing people. But I forgot how soul sucking the rejections are.
sandandsea- I think that’s industry specific. My company found that our productivity went way up working from home. So we went from allowing some telework but having it be the exception to less than 10% of our folks will go back full time. And that’s because they want to be in an office full time or don’t have a good set up to telework. A slightly bigger number, still around 10% are expected never to step foot in an office. Everyone else is going to be hybrid, only coming in for meetings or on certain days each week.
I left my old job for a whole host of reasons. But the rigid view on working from home in jobs where we successfully worked remotely during business travel multiple days a month was definitely on the list.
waverly . If you have VA benefits, use them. But to access them.is exhausting. If there are VA homes close, use them . The Va is essentially worthless, until you get to end if life care or their nursing homes, then they are amazing. If you can hire someone to help, do so. There are so many benefits for Veterans, but it is a full time job to get them. Good luck. Been there and it is hard.
I can't remember if I've posted about this here before, so this may be a TWERK or may be a new story.
We have a strange sleeping situation here and I'm over it. Beau's son doesn't sleep alone. Ever. When they lived in their apartment, it was a one bedroom so they shared a room. Rent here is insanely expensive and beau couldn't justify the cost for only having him there half the time, which I totally get. When they moved in here, we thought it would be temporary because we would be buying a new place. So we turned the spare room into the "dorm room" and basically filled it with a king size bed, beau's TV, video game system, etc. It's a messy drop space for all the random stuff from beau's place. So when his son is here, he and son sleep in that room and I sleep in my normal master bedroom. When his son isn't here, I stay in there because it's a bigger, nicer bed and we want to share a room. I'm over it. I want to make his son transition to his own room. There's no reason why he can't sleep in his own room at his age. And I want a nice master bedroom with beau instead of this weird back and forth that we have now.
I wanted to make time to paint my room this weekend so we can transition beau's son into that room like we planned. But he didn't ask his son about paint color and is all "eh, don't feel like you have to rush to do this..." when I bring it up. Dude, we're grown ups. We deserve our own room. Your kid HAS TO learn to sleep on his own at some point, for the love of god. I was willing to let it be a transition period but now I'm forcing the issue. I'll be picking a paint color myself this weekend and handling it because apparently beau is going to stall and avoid the issue if I don't.
Post by supertrooper1 on Jun 11, 2021 10:27:32 GMT -5
twinmomma, can you switch the beds and move the king into the master? Also, is it a cultural thing that they share a room? I think you said he was Asian and I had several coworkers over the years comment that their Asian wives slept in the kids' rooms with them until they were fairly old.
Post by supertrooper1 on Jun 11, 2021 10:44:04 GMT -5
My attorney spoke with ex-H's malpractice attorney about going after the malpractice insurance of his former attorney. The total of the insurance doesn't cover what she stole, so we'll use our state bar's victim fund for whatever we can't recover from the insurance. If the full amount of the insurance goes to us, we'd only be out $12K. But ex-H could choose to use some of that money to cover his retainer that he lost, so we would just file a larger claim with the state bar. My attorney was also supposed to talk to his divorce attorney this week, so I'm waiting to hear the results of that conversation.
supertrooper1, I think part of it is probably culture. But I also think a lot of it is that beau and his ex have kind of just catered to their son because he was an only child and then beau had such guilt over the divorce. I don't think he sleeps alone at his mom's house either. (I've noticed the same thing with his eating habits, which I've vented about. They've always kind of just let the kid choose, rather than force behaviors. Having a real bedtime and a routine for bed has also been a culture shock for beau's son since I do it with my kids.)
The goal is to move his son to the master bedroom upstairs so that the second floor is just "kid zone." It's the two biggest bedrooms, they'll have a half bath to themselves, and it'll give them plenty of space between the two rooms to hang out with friends and have toys and stuff. Right now there's no good space for the kids to hang out. Then we'll take the smaller downstairs bedroom as the master instead. We don't need the extra space, we hang out in the living room. Unfortunately, the master is currently painted a pale pink color, so I have to repaint it before we can even try to convince beau's son to stay in there.
I just want to note - I love beau's son. He's my buddy and we are close. I do love spending time with him. I know I vent about him a lot, but I think it's just because blending families is so tricky sometimes and he is so different in personality and in how he's been raised so far compared to my kids.