Toddler screaming upon every waking

[urbancowgirl]

Hi all.  I don't post here much anymore, but I am desperate for help.  My 15-month-old DD is suddenly screaming bloody murder at every single waking (mornings and naps).  She has been a pretty good sleeper up until this point, but for the past two weeks she goes from asleep to screaming in like three seconds.  We are dumbfounded as to this change.  She transitioned to one nap a month ago.  I'm pretty sure she's teething, but when she's awake during the day she's a happy kid.  It's difficult to ignore her or let her cry it out when she's so hysterical.  Has anyone been through this?  Is there anything we can do to curb it?  Do we let her cry it out?  Let her sleep with a toy?  Ship her away to boarding school?  Thanks in advance for any help.

[mbcdefg]

Are you waking her up or is she waking on her own?

[urbancowgirl]

Jul 8, 2021 13:55:15 GMT -5 @hiphopanonymous said:

Is there any way you can shorten her wake windows and put her down a little earlier for both nap and bed?

Yes! I am always down for shorter wake windows, lol.

[urbancowgirl]

Jul 8, 2021 13:57:26 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

Are you waking her up or is she waking on her own?

She wakes up on her own for both. Nighttime sleep is typically 7 pm to 7 am, sometimes 6:30 am. Nap is 12:30 pm until whenever she wakes up, usually around 2:30 pm or slightly earlier.

[waverly]

Yeah I don’t think cry it out works when they are totally hysterical. I feel like maybe she startles out of sleep and waking up is scaring her maybe? I would try a stuffed animal if lovey if she doesn’t currently sleep with one. Maybe some calming music.

[af1212]

Could you try waking her yourself?

Like for morning start getting her up at 6:15 and nap wake her at 1:45 or 2. Break the cycle of waking and crying. Then hopefully you can transition her back into waking on her own calmly.

[dontlook]

If you can time it I would sit next to her when she wakes. DS started doing this and I was able to rub his back as he started waking and it helped him transition to awake quietly.

[af1212]

Another idea - Do you have a video monitor? Can you see if she wakes up already crying, or wakes first snd then cries?

If tbe second, I would try to do something while she’s sleeping that will distract her as soon as she wakes. Like add something extra in her crib like a stuffed animal that was t there before or a pile of books or something. Or change something in her room - move a chair to a different spot. Open her door if it’s usually closed.

Something to just break the cycle of waking and screaming.

[devonpow]

Ds1 did this when he was around 18 months - 2 years old. Is she waking at a normal time? DS did it mostly at nap time and occasionally in the morning. It was always a normal time to wake up, I have no idea why it happened , he would just be screaming and inconsolable. It was like he startled himself awake but he was too old to be actually doing that. I have zero advice sadly. Would just go in and hold him/rock him until he calmed down and was ready to get going with the day - which could take a while. It lasted a few months at least from what I recall. . The good news is he’s now a very normal 14 year old who I can barely wake before noon Hang in there!

[purplepenguin7]

My daughter did this too but at a slightly older age. She was a late talker and had trouble communicating that she was awake and would just scream at 100% when she woke up. 15 months is still early for talking/communicating but it may be something similar in that she doesn't yet know how to call for you or make you aware she is awake. I would try a small stuffed animal or toy for comfort, she might like waking up to something to hold on to. When my daughter was younger I would let her fall asleep with a toy and then move it because I was still paranoid about her not being able to breathe or something. I would also try to anticipate her wakeups and be there when she wakes up. I hated people telling me things were just a phase and would pass, but my daughter did stop doing this eventually.

[urbancowgirl]

Thank you, all, for your feedback. af1212, we do have a video monitor. I'll have to try to catch her right as she wakes up to see if she's already crying when she wakes. devonpow, she wakes at a normal time most days. purplepenguin7, I do feel like she's been trying hard to talk lately. Maybe she's frustrated that she can't tell us she's awake. I like the suggestion that we need to break the cycle. I'm going to wake up early tomorrow and try to get her up myself. And then do the same thing at nap time, as much as it pains me to wake a sleeping baby, haha. I'm also going to sneak a small stuffed animal into her crib tonight when I go to bed in case she wakes up before us tomorrow morning.

[cmeon]

My 13yo had night terrors until he was about 4yo, and while I can find nothing on the internet that agrees that this is possible- I am convinced that they started at 14mo. It was terrible at that age, because there is just nothing you can do for them- you just have to let night terrors work themselves out. Eventually we saw that he had them most frequently when he was overtired, but some kids have food triggers or some combination of triggers.

ETA: When he was very young, these happened after naps very, very frequently- they were actually very rarely in the middle of the night until he was closer to 2-2.5. How is she when she "comes around"- does she still seem upset? DS would just eventually pop right into his happy self like nothing had happened. For a few months, it was so bad that we changed our minds about having a second child (but, by 17-18mo it was thankfully, a lot less frequent).

[purplepenguin7]

Jul 8, 2021 18:28:52 GMT -5 urbancowgirl said:

Thank you, all, for your feedback. af1212, we do have a video monitor. I'll have to try to catch her right as she wakes up to see if she's already crying when she wakes. devonpow, she wakes at a normal time most days. purplepenguin7, I do feel like she's been trying hard to talk lately. Maybe she's frustrated that she can't tell us she's awake. I like the suggestion that we need to break the cycle. I'm going to wake up early tomorrow and try to get her up myself. And then do the same thing at nap time, as much as it pains me to wake a sleeping baby, haha. I'm also going to sneak a small stuffed animal into her crib tonight when I go to bed in case she wakes up before us tomorrow morning.

I don’t think you have to wake her up per se, but watch for signs of waking like stirring a bit, or some small sign of movement and then let her wake on her own with you there. I know it’s easier said than done.

[al dente]

Is she upset? Or just screaming and when you go in she's fine?
My kid never self entertained so the second her eyes opened she started screaming for me, but was fine as soon as I got in. Now that she's older and can talk she calls for me vs screaming like she's forever neglected lol.

If she's ok but just getting your attention, I got an ok to wake clock a little before 2 and it was a HUGE help. She's prob a little young for that though but possibly something to try in the next few months?

[court26]

I know ear pain and pressure can get worse when you are laying down. Is it possible she has an ear infection? Or maybe the same is true of her teeth- that when she wakes up and isn’t engaged or distracted she feels the pain more?

[lacey]

My first woke up screaming until she was about 2.5. It honestly never occurred to me that there was anything to do about it. We went in and got her and she was fine. Unless she’s showing other signs of ear infection or illness, or is inconsolable for several minutes once you go in, I would just KOKO.

[sent]

Jul 8, 2021 22:53:10 GMT -5 al dente said:

Is she upset? Or just screaming and when you go in she's fine?
My kid never self entertained so the second her eyes opened she started screaming for me, but was fine as soon as I got in. Now that she's older and can talk she calls for me vs screaming like she's forever neglected lol. 

My DD was like this too. Cried immediately upon waking up from a nap or in the morning. Every single time. It was her signal to say "come get me so I can be fed and entertained." I can't remember when exactly it stopped, I think around 4. 

And by contrast, DS always woke up and babbled to himself and still does. I was like "is this what babies/toddlers are supposed to be like? I like this wakeup style much better."

[treschic]

Jul 9, 2021 8:28:30 GMT -5 sent said:

Jul 8, 2021 22:53:10 GMT -5 al dente said:

Is she upset? Or just screaming and when you go in she's fine?
My kid never self entertained so the second her eyes opened she started screaming for me, but was fine as soon as I got in. Now that she's older and can talk she calls for me vs screaming like she's forever neglected lol. 

My DD was like this too. Cried immediately upon waking up from a nap or in the morning. Every single time. It was her signal to say "come get me so I can be fed and entertained." I can't remember when exactly it stopped, I think around 4. 

And by contrast, DS always woke up and babbled to himself and still does. I was like "is this what babies/toddlers are supposed to be like? I like this wakeup style much better."

My 16 month old is like this and has been for awhile. I think it’s just personality and probably not correctable at this age. As long as she’s sleeping through the night and taking good naps, I don’t think there’s anything you can do. I just go and get her right away or as soon as I can if I’m doing something.

[urbancowgirl]

Thanks, all. Maybe this is just the way she wakes up now. I'm hopeful it's a phase since it started so suddenly. I do not want this to be our new normal, lol. The worst is when she wakes up earlier than expected and DS, DH, and I are jarred awake by her screaming. DH went into her room as soon as he saw her stirring this morning, and I woke her up from her nap this afternoon. Fingers crossed we're breaking the cycle of screaming.

cmeon and al dente, she's upset, crying, and seems mad, but stops as soon as we get to her room. We have the Hatch sound machine that you can program to change colors and turn on and off, so maybe I'll play around with that as an okay to wake clock. court26, I don't think she has an ear infection, but that's a good point about the teething. She does okay with teething during the day, but maybe it's more noticeable to her when she first wakes up. sent, DS would chill in his crib for a long time and never got upset. I totally took it for granted!

[cmeon]

urbancowgirl, okay, that doesn't sound like what was going on with mine (he would be completely unreachable for 10-30 minutes, and then just pop awake poof right into happiness like nothing happened). I do agree that this could just be related to her language development, I hope it's a short phase for you!

[al dente]

Hmmm ya that kinda sounds like my kid. It was not a scream that could be ignored. She was always like that though, so that is different that it just started. It was so hard being woken up that way. I sleep trained and the morning wake up was one thing that I just could not leave her crying for because it was so loud and disruptive and I tried it all for like 2 years until we got the clock. I remember my friends talking about leaving their kids until they were finished getting ready and I was always like "what? How is that possible?!" Otherwise though shes a super happy and fairly easy going baby, but ya wake up was just a scream fest until she was with someone.
Sorry Im no help! But I can commiserate lol

[urbancowgirl]

I wanted to give an update on DD waking up screaming. Things got worse shortly after I posted, with DD refusing to go down for naps or nighttime sleep. So much screaming. We had to sleep train all over again, which took all of one night, thankfully. I think it was all part of a sleep regression, because she is back to waking peacefully like nothing ever happened! Kids are weird.