I’ve been struggling a lot lately, thinking about h’s cheating. I think I either need individual therapy, or we should go back together. Ugh. There’s a big part of me that still just can’t believe it happened. And I’m a sweep things under the rug kind of person. Not good.
I'm sorry. I'm a dweller so that would be something I would probably need to revisit in therapy over the years. I'd start there and then through those discussions see if you need to bring your H into the discussions as well.
And isabel will be glad to know it's actually Wednesday.
I'm so sorry, Bernadine. If you haven't been in individual therapy, I think I'd start there so you can further process your feelings around this. Your individual therapist might be able to determine if you would benefit from doing further marriage counseling, too.
This shit is hard. I am definitely a sweep it under the rug person too and that's admittedly not the best approach. I mean to some extent you will need to eventually let it go if you want to stay married - but I think that can come later after you have dealt with it first.
I'm sorry Bernadine, I think individual therapy would be helpful. As a fellow rug-sweeper, I know it's hard to admit that it's a big issue when you just want to move on. But I think you need to work through your feelings in a setting where you can say anything.
My random: I spent literally hours yesterday working on a spreadsheet and got 2/3 of the way through it. At the very end, I made a quick pivot table just to see how the data looked so far. For stupid reasons, when I saved and closed, it only saved the pivot table. All the data I was working on is lost. Restoring previous versions isn't working. I want to cry.
We are on vacation in the Outer Banks this week. It has been fun so far, though I hate summer because it is too damn hot and sunny! We are only just now taking showers to get going for the day because yesterday really wiped us both out. We went kayaking, which was really beautiful, and then did some walking around a historical site and some gardens. Today we are going to hit a museum/historical site and then a boardwalk, which I hope will mean less sun and more indoor time.
H and I have been in this cycle of being snippy with each other lately, which is not our norm at all and I was hoping getting away would help. So far, not really lol. It's just stupid stuff that I think comes from being together so much in the last 18 months, but I'd like to get back to not doing that.
Oh, and COVID is over here. We've seen like 5 people total wearing masks anywhere, including children. Even the national park service site we visited yesterday, which I thought would be enforcing masks for unvaccinated people, didn't care one bit. We haven't been wearing them either, but we're vaccinated. I find it unlikely that NOBODY around here is unvaccinated. It makes me kind of nervous, but short of spending the rest of the week in our studio vacation rental, I'm not sure there is much we can do about it at this point.
My random: I spent literally hours yesterday working on a spreadsheet and got 2/3 of the way through it. At the very end, I made a quick pivot table just to see how the data looked so far. For stupid reasons, when I saved and closed, it only saved the pivot table. All the data I was working on is lost. Restoring previous versions isn't working. I want to cry.
If you double-click on the pivot table, your underlying data should show up in another tab. It probably won't be formatted the way you had it, but it should be there.
Ok, I've had this feeling it's Thursday since I woke up, so this is really throwing me off. LOL.
We are leaving for vacation on Sunday and I have so much to do. I'm procrastinating, per usual. Saturday I'll be kicking myself, I'm sure. I started a list this morning, so at least I have something done.
I'm sorry you are struggling, Bernadine . Sounds like therapy is a good idea for both you individually and couples therapy.
My random: I spent literally hours yesterday working on a spreadsheet and got 2/3 of the way through it. At the very end, I made a quick pivot table just to see how the data looked so far. For stupid reasons, when I saved and closed, it only saved the pivot table. All the data I was working on is lost. Restoring previous versions isn't working. I want to cry.
If you double-click on the pivot table, your underlying data should show up in another tab. It probably won't be formatted the way you had it, but it should be there.
Sadly, the problem is that I was working in excel, but it wasn't actually an excel file (it was a .tab file). So when I saved, instead of saving as an excel file, it saved back as a .tab file, which removes all formatting. Apparently it also cannot support multiple sheets, so it only saves the sheet that you are looking at when you hit save. I meant to "save as" excel, but it was 10:30 at night and I forgot. All the underlying data is gone. The pivot table is no longer a working pivot, it is just an unformatted sheet now.
The work involves reading almost 1,000 abstracts on a subject I don't really understand and pulling out one piece of information into a new column. I was 650 abstracts in.
If you double-click on the pivot table, your underlying data should show up in another tab. It probably won't be formatted the way you had it, but it should be there.
Sadly, the problem is that I was working in excel, but it wasn't actually an excel file (it was a .tab file). So when I saved, instead of saving as an excel file, it saved back as a .tab file, which removes all formatting. Apparently it also cannot support multiple sheets, so it only saves the sheet that you are looking at when you hit save. I meant to "save as" excel, but it was 10:30 at night and I forgot. All the underlying data is gone. The pivot table is no longer a working pivot, it is just an unformatted sheet now.
The work involves reading almost 1,000 abstracts on a subject I don't really understand and pulling out one piece of information into a new column. I was 650 abstracts in.
I found out the job I interviewed for last week is being offered to someone else due to budget. Which is frustrating, because I would have been willing to take the job for less if they'd just talked to me about it. The director is hopeful that another position will open soon that would be more appropriate for my qualifications/salary, so that's good - but at this point that's still a maybe and I'm not sure how long I want to wait around to see if it materializes.
I signed C up for summer classes at her dance studio. It is once a week for four weeks. The teacher just emailed me to say C is the only one registered so it's canceled. But they're having an acrobatics class as well and there are kids in that one. She's been begging to do acro, so I signed her up. I can't wait to tell her!
Post by mysteriouswife on Jul 14, 2021 10:03:11 GMT -5
Covid fig is terrible today. I am all sorts of confused. I cannot focus at work and I need a nap. I hate days like today. I’m ready to be back to my old self. I’m tired of my sense of smell being off.
I'm confusing my days enough as it is, this post title really through me for a loop, especially since I posted Tuesday Randoms yesterday and thought maybe I got it wrong LOL
@bernadine, I'm so sorry that you are struggling. I wish that I had done individual therapy after my 1st H cheated on me, his multiple affairs still affect me to this day, and I'm remarried.
We used our new Solo Stove last night for the first time, and I really liked it. Definitely produced a lot less smoke and the kids had a blast making s'mores.
If you double-click on the pivot table, your underlying data should show up in another tab. It probably won't be formatted the way you had it, but it should be there.
Sadly, the problem is that I was working in excel, but it wasn't actually an excel file (it was a .tab file). So when I saved, instead of saving as an excel file, it saved back as a .tab file, which removes all formatting. Apparently it also cannot support multiple sheets, so it only saves the sheet that you are looking at when you hit save. I meant to "save as" excel, but it was 10:30 at night and I forgot. All the underlying data is gone. The pivot table is no longer a working pivot, it is just an unformatted sheet now.
The work involves reading almost 1,000 abstracts on a subject I don't really understand and pulling out one piece of information into a new column. I was 650 abstracts in.
We have lived in our neighborhood for about 4 years now, and are slowly getting to know our neighbors. We went for a walk with DD (2) and the dogs last night and only made it about 5 houses down. The family there was outside with their girls. Their 4yo was dying to pet our dogs, so we stopped and then the kids immediately started playing and H and their dad started talking beer brewing. It was so nice! I'm so glad there are some kids in the neighborhood and I hope we can run into them some more.
It was a lot nicer than earlier in the day when we found out we need to do mold remediation and looks like we need a whole new roof, which we weren't planning on for a couple more years.
It is so hot and humid today! I went to the grocery store and brought a cooler for the cold stuff and it was still full of condensation when I got home. The cooler was too heavy for me to carry in so I made multiple trips to the car to unload and I’m so hot and sweaty! I’m not normally a sweaty person. This is so gross. Then the dog was going nuts about a squirrel while I was trying to unload into the fridge and I seriously thought about leaving it all, getting in my car and driving far, far away hopefully to a place with air conditioning.
Oh, and COVID is over here. We've seen like 5 people total wearing masks anywhere, including children. Even the national park service site we visited yesterday, which I thought would be enforcing masks for unvaccinated people, didn't care one bit. We haven't been wearing them either, but we're vaccinated. I find it unlikely that NOBODY around here is unvaccinated. It makes me kind of nervous, but short of spending the rest of the week in our studio vacation rental, I'm not sure there is much we can do about it at this point.
This is why I’ve been hesitant about vacationing! It doesn’t seem like it would be relaxing yet. I’m debating about maybe some place closer to home in September when places won’t be so busy.
Post by ProfessorArtNerd on Jul 14, 2021 10:51:31 GMT -5
Let me tell you how long it’s been since I’ve worn makeup- I just nearly impaled my eye on the mascara wand. Definitely getting a thorough test of this new tube’s waterproof capability though.
We are on vacation in the Outer Banks this week. It has been fun so far, though I hate summer because it is too damn hot and sunny! We are only just now taking showers to get going for the day because yesterday really wiped us both out. We went kayaking, which was really beautiful, and then did some walking around a historical site and some gardens. Today we are going to hit a museum/historical site and then a boardwalk, which I hope will mean less sun and more indoor time.
H and I have been in this cycle of being snippy with each other lately, which is not our norm at all and I was hoping getting away would help. So far, not really lol. It's just stupid stuff that I think comes from being together so much in the last 18 months, but I'd like to get back to not doing that.
We're heading to Corolla next week. It's the third year in a row we've gone, and I want to convince DH and DD to do something other than the beach. Where are the gardens you visited?