Post by chickadee77 on Jul 16, 2021 8:41:10 GMT -5
Welllll I thought we were good with my oldest around 4, but turns out she doesn't wipe after peeing. So, now I have to harp on a 7yo to make sure that gets done. My 3yo is getting better, but still needs help sometimes (or is just lazy, I'm not sure).
I've seen videos with the balloons tied to a chair that looks hilarious and might work to get the mechanics down (you can google it - it went viral some time ago, I think). I've also heard of wiping peanut butter off of a plate to make sure the job gets done-done. I haven't tried either of these - I pretty much just have said, "Look at the paper when you're done - if there's something on it, wipe again. Repeat as necessary. Flush if you get to more than two wipes so you don't clog the toilet."
I feel like DD took forever to get this down. She has sensory issues, so she was afraid to get poop on her hands from wiping, even though she always washes her hands after going to the bathroom. It was so bad for a while she would poop and then just not wipe, which seems like a far worse option than getting poop on your hand, which can be easily washed. What finally got her consistently wiping well, probably around age 7 is her absolute hatred of underwear. I told her underwear is required until she consistently wiped and wiped well. She finally got it and now as a reward can wear skorts without underwear.
This is making me feel better. My mom has been pretty critical that my 4.5 year old can't/won't do it yet.
I think maybe he would be more open to trying with wipes instead of TP. Gross question, but how do you guys dispose of them? Just empty out the bathroom trash every time?
Post by thoseareradishes on Jul 16, 2021 10:01:23 GMT -5
E is 4 and I still wipe her butt. We use baby wipes. I throw them in the trash; she's generally a pretty clean pooper but even when not I've never noticed a smell. I empty the upstairs bathroom trash once a week but she usually poops downstairs in the powder room so then I put the dirty wipe in the kitchen can that gets taken out more often.
She's pretty good with pee; she wads some up and dabs herself. She doesn't go front to back but since she dabs more than wipes I think it's okay for now.
I still do it for my DS who will be 5 in a month. He will try but doesn't do a great job. This is something I probably need to start working on. I am not sure what he does at daycare but I think he mostly poops at home, I assume they would help though.
My 7yo boy wipes but not always very well. He’s getting better. He knows not wiping well leads to an itchy bum. He also has trouble reaching (his torso is so freaking long he just can’t reach very well).
DS was good by 4 thanks to daycare's help. Yall still wiping butts at 8 are crazy. I'm pretty sure I was wiping my little brother's butt when I was 8.
I assume they’re not doing it out of enjoyment or because they’re helicopter parents. It’s more likely their children have some sort of physical or emotional challenges that make it more difficult for them.
It’s been years since I helped DD in the bathroom (long enough that I can’t remember the answer to this poll) but she did everything late. Believe me, I wish I could have hurried her along but sometimes you just can’t.
I wasn't referring to kids with disabilities - good grief. The podcast Nurture vs Nurture just talked about this. How helicopter parents wipe kids butts for way too long because they don't trust them enough to learn on their own. Wiping an 8 year old's butt who has no developmental or emotional issues is nuts.
I wasn't referring to kids with disabilities - good grief. The podcast Nurture vs Nurture just talked about this. How helicopter parents wipe kids butts for way too long because they don't trust them enough to learn on their own. Wiping an 8 year old's butt who has no developmental or emotional issues is nuts.
My son is 12 and I'm still not sure he wipes reliably.
I can't tell you the amount of times I've found poop in the toilet with no toilet paper. It's so gross. I have had to tell him to wipe so many times. But I've stopped checking and his underwear is fine, so maybe he's finally learned???
ETA: I stopped wiping when he was about 5 or 6. Just so you don't think I'm wiping my 12 year old butt.
I wasn't referring to kids with disabilities - good grief. The podcast Nurture vs Nurture just talked about this. How helicopter parents wipe kids butts for way too long because they don't trust them enough to learn on their own. Wiping an 8 year old's butt who has no developmental or emotional issues is nuts.
Yes, but how do you know based on the poll responses what percentage of those eight respondents (out of 86) are “crazy” (your word) and what percentage are not? You don’t. You’re just throwing grenades in the air.
Tell us more about that podcast; I’m not familiar with it. Did she say there’s an epidemic of third graders who still can’t wipe independently? Or was she talking generally about younger kids?
this is so funny, we were JUST talking about this the other day! Our son is about to turn 4 and if he really wants to he will wipe himself (so far just twice but both perfectly with no excess TP or mess or anything) but mostly he wants us to do it.
I specifically remember going into kindergarten 35 years ago and being scared because I couldn't wipe my own ass well, lol.
this is so funny, we were JUST talking about this the other day! Our son is about to turn 4 and if he really wants to he will wipe himself (so far just twice but both perfectly with no excess TP or mess or anything) but mostly he wants us to do it.
I specifically remember going into kindergarten 35 years ago and being scared because I couldn't wipe my own ass well, lol.
Before my kids I was a K teacher and there were always kids in the beginning of year who would call from the bathroom and ask to be wiped. We were a public school and obviously did not do that but lots of kids still need help at that age!!
It was 50-50 when V started K as a young 5. By the time he was through with K it was fine.
O is 4.5 and we're still wiping or at least checking 100% of the time. She probably doesn't _need_ help wiping every time, but when she does a bad job she ends up complaining about an itchy bottom.
DS was good by 4 thanks to daycare's help. Yall still wiping butts at 8 are crazy. I'm pretty sure I was wiping my little brother's butt when I was 8.
I assume they’re not doing it out of enjoyment or because they’re helicopter parents. It’s more likely their children have some sort of physical or emotional challenges that make it more difficult for them.
It’s been years since I helped DD in the bathroom (long enough that I can’t remember the answer to this poll) but she did everything late. Believe me, I wish I could have hurried her along but sometimes you just can’t.
i'm going to agree. i cant imagine kids growing up having so many memories of their parents wiping them. they should be going on their by K in most cases at the latest
I assume they’re not doing it out of enjoyment or because they’re helicopter parents. It’s more likely their children have some sort of physical or emotional challenges that make it more difficult for them.
It’s been years since I helped DD in the bathroom (long enough that I can’t remember the answer to this poll) but she did everything late. Believe me, I wish I could have hurried her along but sometimes you just can’t.
i'm going to agree. i cant imagine kids growing up having so many memories of their parents wiping them. they should be going on their by K in most cases at the latest
I’m pretty sure my DD was independent in the bathroom by K(-ish?) so I really have no dog in this fight. It was a long time ago, a literal half-decade. And I don’t care enough about this topic to keep beating a dead horse.
It just seemed like calling out the less than 10% of people who chose that option — when we don’t know anything about who they are or why their children might be a bit delayed — as crazy helicopter parents was extreme. I stand by that. This seems like a standard bell curve to me, not a sign that the world is going to hell because we don’t yell “BOOTSTRAPS” at our dirty-bummed children enough.
Hey, the poll doesn't say people with older kids are still wiping their butts – it just says their kids CAN'T reliably wipe their own. Maybe they're just doing a lot of underwear laundry, okay?
My oldest is 7, and I've definitely wiped her butt within the last year. My kids are prone to rashes, and when they get rashes they stop pooping, and when they stop pooping they get miserable and so do I. They've both wiped their butts when out of our house since they potty trained. But I definitely made sure their butts were actually clean at home when they were 4-6 and sometimes dealing with constipation, OKAY? (wipe-gate is definitely getting everyone whipped up around here!)
DS1 will be 6 next weekend and while he is capable of wiping (assuming not a big mess), he doesn’t like to do it. He will once in awhile, but it’s rare.
I wasn't referring to kids with disabilities - good grief. The podcast Nurture vs Nurture just talked about this. How helicopter parents wipe kids butts for way too long because they don't trust them enough to learn on their own. Wiping an 8 year old's butt who has no developmental or emotional issues is nuts.
Since you’re such an expert, is it also “crazy” that our seven-year-old still wets the bed bed? I mean, our pedi says it’s perfectly normal, but you seem to know so much about how other peoples kids should develop. FFS.
konapoppy I'd say she's like 40% good on her own. The other 60% of the time she just does the front OR back (not both), or wipes back to front. I get the toilet paper for her though because I keep the roll loose on the counter and she kept dropping it and it would unravel all over. Our toilet paper holder is practically behind the toilet and I can't reach it lol I feel like that's on me so I help out with that part. She does ok in public bathrooms getting her own.
I still wipe for poop. I hadn't even thought about it? Pooping is part of the bedtime routine so I'm always sitting there with her reading books. Maybe tonight I'll have her start doing it on her own?
DS was good by 4 thanks to daycare's help. Yall still wiping butts at 8 are crazy. I'm pretty sure I was wiping my little brother's butt when I was 8.
This is... really irritating. There's no need to drag other parents.
YES! omg THIS is what’s been bothering me about that comment and the others above.
Why do we always immediately rush to judge other parents when their kids aren’t performing at the same rate as other kids? Like, Oh, it must be because you’re the kind of parent who’s going to one day call up their kid’s professor when precious gets a bad grade! Or: If you coddle your children, they’ll be living in your basement at 30!
Just … stop. Stop trying to make every little thing a cautionary tale. People are doing the best they can, not purposefully trying to doom their children.
Also, as an aside, no two people do anything at the exact same time. We don’t expect everyone to go through puberty at the same age so why do we assume everyone hits developmental milestones at the same age? And why is it automatically assumed to be the parents’ fault if their kid is on the later end of that bell curve?
This is... really irritating. There's no need to drag other parents.
YES! omg THIS is what’s been bothering me about that comment and the others above.
Why do we always immediately rush to judge other parents when their kids aren’t performing at the same rate as other kids? Like, Oh, it must be because you’re the kind of parent who’s going to one day call up their kid’s professor when precious gets a bad grade! Or: If you coddle your children, they’ll be living in your basement at 30!
Just … stop. Stop trying to make every little thing a cautionary tale. People are doing the best they can, not purposefully trying to doom their children.
Also, as an aside, no two people do anything at the exact same time. We don’t expect everyone to go through puberty at the same age so why do we assume everyone hits developmental milestones at the same age? And why is it automatically assumed to be the parents’ fault if their kid is on the later end of that bell curve?
Preach it. I can see why many MOOK parents don't ever come to MMM anymore because the attitude of if a kid can't do something it must be the parents fault or there is something wrong with the kid is in basically every thread. Nope. SO much of this is developmental. At a certain point it just doesn't even matter.
Yeah that poster is a judgey asshole. I didn’t respond though I am one who said my 8 year old still needs help sometimes. It’s none of her business the reasons why - he’s not disabled so I guess I’m crazy in her view.
I’m glad for her that she doesn’t have the challenge of wiping an 8 year old and the reasons behind it. Luckily I could give two shits what some random person on the internet thinks of my parenting, (lol that I must be a helicopter Mom) but the comment was less than helpful.
I’ve been working with the same 8 year old on not making unhelpful comments - is this helpful? Is this kind? No? Then keep it to yourself. Seems like even adults struggle with that.
Yeah that poster is a judgey asshole. I didn’t respond though I am one who said my 8 year old still needs help sometimes. It’s none of her business the reasons why - he’s not disabled so I guess I’m crazy in her view.
I’m glad for her that she doesn’t have the challenge of wiping an 8 year old and the reasons behind it. Luckily I could give two shits what some random person on the internet thinks of my parenting, (lol that I must be a helicopter Mom) but the comment was less than helpful.
I’ve been working with the same 8 year old on not making unhelpful comments - is this helpful? Is this kind? No? Then keep it to yourself. Seems like even adults struggle with that.
My kid is now 11 but I was another who said was still helping at age 8. Agree that the reasons are no ones business. In our house we print out the THINK sign and hang it in several rooms.
Before you speak please THINK. Is it ... True Helpful Important Necessary Kind
I agree that this poster could use this reminder when posting.