Society and socializing in the future

[bluestreet]

I am recovering from covid (despite moderna vaccine in the late spring), and I always forget that being sick is often accompanied by the sads.

I made the rookie mistake of scrolling through old pics on IG, and I got sad seeing all my pics from festivities and socializing. So much energy! People laughing! Younger faces with fewer lines!

Over the last few months, before the delta spike and resurgence, I was thinking about how to preserve the more low-key socializing. But now I wonder if the relative isolation is getting me stuck in my own head and mental ruts.

TL;DR: How do you think about socializing in the future? New habits you want to preserve? Old habits you want to revive? New habits you want to create once we’re able to socialize more?

[ssmjlm]

Personally, for me, it's my child and socializing that I feel sad about the most and really hope this just a blip for her childhood. I want to travel with her, let her have typical kid experiences, all without a mask one day.

For me, I was never a big crowded event person, so while I would love to be able to dine out and have smaller get togethers, it's not a huge issue for me.

[nomad100]

I am an introvert so loved not having to make excuses for not going to crowded events and now, given the medium-ish rate of vaccinations in my area, I am just saying no to socializing with the unvaccinated (who do it because of "reasons" vs actual legit health reasons) even family. I just cancelled a family event that was to be hosted at my house because I have several cousins and their spouses who refuse to get vaccinated.

I am focusing on smaller events, hosted in people's homes, with everyone vaccinated for now. If I have to go to a more crowded venue, I wear a mask. I currently have a dinner party with some girlfriends scheduled for August but we are all vaccinated so that helps my comfort level.

[abs]

For me I have realized how much I like doing things and having plans to look forward to. There is literally nothing about our situation in the past 16 months that I want to preserve.

[gibbinator]

So immediately the first thing I think of is I had a friend over sometime before the third wave hit (so like February-ish?) and she announced she was pregnant and we got all excited and my very social friendly dh went and gave her a big hug, visit continued otherwise normal. As soon as she left he turned to me and said "I shouldn't have hugged her, I wasn't thinking." So what I'm sad about is that these little social human contact things have become taboo. I've never been a super touchy feely person but man I really want friend hugs back.

[Queen Dick, Hibernating Bear]

Don't care about socializing. Want to travel. Just flew yesterday for the first time. Everyone was masked but social distancing is impossible. People were nose to nose at O'Hare. I don't mind crowds but I'll probably always feel odd in them from now on.

[eddy]

I don’t like crowds so I will keep that habit lol.

Otherwise I am still progressing with being out in the world again. I know I am at risk for infection despite vaccination. But I can’t stomach going back to the level of isolation again.

[gummybear]

Well, I had a major shift in my social circle during Covid. So, even if if I wanted (which I don't) I could not return to my pre-pandemic social life. TBH I really don't want to return to the kind of world we had before. I dislike crowds and big events so I am relieved that that will no longer be part of our lives, regardless of what the world decides is OK. I also have no desire to return to the hustle and bustle of my kids' prior lives. But I can't let my preferences rule there. My older kid entered the pandemic a kid and is coming out a teen and she deserves the opportunity to experience normal teen things.

Most of all I want to, as my grand mom used to say, "Come and go as I please". I want it to be easy to shop, eat at restaurants, travel, come in and out of Drs offices, get deliveries, and just go damn places without excessive rules and requirements and reservations. But that's about all. I did a lot of self-examination and therapy during the lockdown - I'm happier with this cleaned-up version of myself.

[wildrice]

I have already pretty much gone back to normal. However, I've only lived here for 3 years (and only about 1.5 before COVID hit) so my social life is not crazy busy anyway - I don't have any local family and don't have any of those long term friends that people end up feeling obligated to still see. In other words, everyone I socialize with is a newer friend who I have chosen because I enjoy their company and want to see them. Accordingly, I also only really have low key friends who don't expect to hang out all the time anyway. This means I usually do 1-2 social things per week, and some weeks don't do anything social at all. This is a good amount for me - I get stressed if I have too many things going on, but I do enjoy going out and seeing people.

The main thing I would have liked to keep would have been working from home at least part time. I'm enjoying being in the office, but commuting every day and being gone for 10+ hours a day is draining. And while I enjoy seeing people and interacting in person, it is tiring. Short of getting a new job, I don't know that there is much I can do about that though.

[Patsy Baloney]

I think one thing that I hope to hold onto is the utilization of the outdoors. It has been so great to be doing so much outside - BBQs, camping, hiking, kid activities, volunteer stuff, etc.

I've always been kind of a, "Yuck, wash your hands, personal space please," germ-conscious person, so I don't feel so far from that headspace now. I do still find myself getting a little itchy about being maskless and probably will for a while. But, my hope is just to remain chill, keep comfortable socialization (don't over schedule, don't deal with the dickheads) and continue complaining about how tired I am of living in interesting times, lol.

[starburst604]

Jul 23, 2021 7:20:00 GMT -5 abs said:

For me I have realized how much I like doing things and having plans to look forward to. There is literally nothing about our situation in the past 16 months that I want to preserve.

This is where I am. I want our old lives back and have pretty much resumed that at this point. Socializing with vaccinated friends, eating out and traveling. Last night I went to a Red Sox game for the first time in 2 years. Driving through Boston made me feel alive again! 

I have my eye on what's happening with Delta and am hoping MA will keep the mask mandate in schools this fall, so I'm not thinking this is all over and done by any stretch, but we're in a highly vaccinated state and for the moment I feel like we can enjoy our summer safely. 

[bluestreet]

Related to enjoying not making excuses, my new favorite thing has been inviting a few friends over and being clear from the outset that folks have to leave after two hours because I get “peopled out”. They totally get it. I like the idea that we’ve all found ways to just be more honest about what we’re up for.

[gummybear]

Jul 23, 2021 9:24:25 GMT -5 bluestreet said:

Related to enjoying not making excuses, my new favorite thing has been inviting a few friends over and being clear from the outset that folks have to leave after two hours because I get “peopled out”. They totally get it. I like the idea that we’ve all found ways to just be more honest about what we’re up for.

Yes! Since I "broke up" with my previous friend group I have taken the approach of being very honest with people about my limitations and personality. It's refreshing

[flex]

Like many of you, I'm not fond of large crowds. That being said I have traveled recently, and even though it was a bit uncomfortable, masks are still required in the terminal as well as on the plane, which was no problem for me.

I have concerns about variants and I won't be surprised if we're asked to wear masks inside in the near future (just a guess on my part), so I'm trying not to get too comfortable with not wearing masks.

Our offices have opened up but the public hasn't been encouraged to drop by. I would love to work exclusively from home, so that is one thing I'd like to see that become an option.

[joy]

My wants are very work-related. I like that I can choose where to work without too many questions. I have to be home for an appt? I’m doing meetings there. I need to be in lab at 2pm? I roll in at 1:30pm because everything is so flexible.

Getting in the bus in mid-morning without lots of people and always getting a seat without a seat mate is heaven. HEAVEN.

But, I live in the city because I love the hustle and bustle. I want it to feel alive again. I walked thru Center City Philly at 10pm a few Fridays ago. Live music, people eating/drinking/laughing. ❤️❤️

[Velar Fricative]

I love crowds. Concerts, sports, shows, busy and loud bars, etc. So I want that back desperately. Same with travel, though I have decided to fly less in general. There are lots of great destinations closer to home that I want to explore. 

I still do small gatherings and dinners out as I've always done once we began opening back up, but I'm far pickier of who I'm willing to spend time with. I've lost a couple of friends during the pandemic because of their bullshit and I have no regrets. I've discovered new friends in the meantime.

[heygrey]

I have actually loved the last year of less commitments and expectations. It was a really nice reset for our family to evaluate some of our social traditions, especially surrounding holidays. The one thing I miss is last minute plans. Sometimes H and I would wake up on a Saturday and decide we wanted to cook a big meal. So we'd start inviting people and end up with a rag tag group of whoever didn't have plans for dinner. The spontaneity and mixing of social groups was so fun.

[erbear]

Add me to the list of people who have appreciated not feeling like I have to go to everything and the lack of activities. It was a little overwhelming for me and now, I do things I want to do. We make plans because we want to see people not because we have to. I don’t miss small talk at kid parties - we have pared down our social lives to families and friends we really love. I miss live music but I don’t miss crowded bars. I miss sporting events. I miss having a bunch of kids and their parents over spontaneously on a Friday night - I’m not sure when I’ll feel comfortable being in people’s houses like that again and I don’t think I’m up for another year of sitting outside in the snow. miss traveling more than anything.

[waverly]

The biggest change pandemic wise was work in terms of working from home entirely, then in the office but shortened days and Fridays off. This meant, I could go to the park after school with the kids and before that they were in aftercare. Or I could see friends on Fridays. Now, I am back full time in person. I've gotten used to it again, but my work life balance was much better with 4 days a week in person and 1 day a week at home. This job does not lend itself to working from home all the time.

In terms of socializing we've been super cautious during the lockdown and spikes. It was sad to remove everything from my calendar, and I don't want to go back to that. I am really enjoying DH working from home though because he can be the kid's aftercare and be with them on days they are sick. Honestly, he is on the phone 99% of the time, and doesn't interact with them but there is an adult in the house in case of an emergency and they are almost 11 and 8, so they are pretty independent.

So we have started socializing again with the same people as before, but my friend had a baby and I am kind of afraid to visit baby and give baby covid you know (I am vaccinated, kids are not), so there are still definitely pandemic concerns that are ongoing. And my dad is not vaccinated. He was too sick to get the vaccine, and now the doctors have given the all clear finally, he is not convinced, so there are issues with him seeing the kids except maybe outside only. So yeah since we aren't there I can't yet imagine what socializing fully will be like without Covid concerns. Just hoping my kids get vaccinated soon.

[starburst604]

Thinking more about this and how our schedule for this summer is filled literally every single weekend except for Labor Day at this point. Earlier this week some friends invited us to come for a couple of days to a vacation house they're renting on the Cape and boom, there went our very last weekend and even THAT rolls over from a wedding on that Friday. But we don't HAVE to go, we want to. We just want to do so much and then we're like why do we do this! While it's overwhelming in some ways, on the other hand when we do have a totally open weekend I find myself scrambling for ways to entertain DD and start looking around for people to get together with because I feel a little bored myself. This weekend we aren't away but have a graduation party tomorrow and a bday party for one of DD's friends on Sunday and I'm actually glad for both because there just isn't any "hang out at home" with her, either she wants me to play with her or is bugging us to go somewhere, it's just not relaxing. It's just easier to be around others. But, I'll still have time to do laundry and get caught up around the house this weekend.

One good thing that I think did come out of the whole thing is H becoming more willing to take on the bulk of stuff like taking DD to her bi-weekly allergy appointments, the dentist and things like that. He's still very busy with work but finally realized when I was WFH for a few months just how different our work days are and how much more flexibility his schedule has than mine. Before everything fell on me pretty much, now it's more like 75/25 him and me.

[tacokick]

I really just want to return to travel. I’d love to go somewhere now but I don’t really want to bother with worrying about other people, hour changes, places being closed, mask policies etc We normally only travel in the off season anyway so I’m hoping things won’t get bad after school starts and we can get away a bit.

I like seeing our friends in person but we already had a tight group of clean, rational people who planned events far ahead so not much changed. I’ve never been someone who saw people or did things out of weird social pressure so I’m excited people are joining me in this mindset lol