Homework misery

[niq]

Aug 19, 2021 19:06:41 GMT -5 undecidedowl said:

Aug 19, 2021 7:28:09 GMT -5 orval said:

I would also drop piano unless he is some kind of piano genius.

Does he have any other learning disabilities like dysgraphia that make the writing difficult? Can he type the words on the computer and print them out--maybe more fun on the computer?? My ds had to write them in different colors and a few other activities that made it more fun than just plain writing.

Nothing diagnosed. He does have difficulty writing which is part of why I want him to practice writing. I hate to give up before he is at least somewhat capable, but maybe I'm thinking about it wrong.

When you say "difficulty writing" do you mean handwriting, coming up with sentences, or both/not sure?

Does your school have staff for small group intervention support?

[mcppalmbeach]

Story of my life. Honestly I don’t hate h/w. It’s really the only way that I know what’s going on and see for myself what may be a challenge or where issues are. We basically never see work come home. My 9y0 4th grader is supposed to do one page of math (super easy and quick) and to read. She just bumped their reading from 20 to 30 mins and he’s going to flip his lid. It is pulling teeth to get him to read. He’s an above average reader and hates it and during the 20 mins he reads now he will come out to ask Alexa how much more rime at least 2x.

[jewel]

Is there anything he is motivated by, that he can earn in the evenings after finishing his work? An immediate reward/denial might work well. And then I would just leave it up to him - finish your work with enough time for a show, then you earn it; refuse to do your work or waste time fighting about it, and you’ll run out of time before bed.

My kid is super motivated to ride his bike or scooter. He’s only in 1st grade and we usually don’t do the homework (which is assigned as optional) but if I have anything that I need him to do, he will do it quickly if it means he gets bike time afterward.

[pooh8402]

Tbh, my parents' and grandparents' rule growing up was homework first, then playing and TV. I'm an ADHD person myself, though not diagnosed/treated when I was a kid. DH said that was the rule when he was a kid too. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was like 12 and medicated since then. We have implemented the same rule for E1 (and yes, he had homework in kindergarten last year, it only took 15 minutes most days) and it has worked well for us. Sometimes we got resistance but with consistency, he mostly didn't argue and would just automatically do it without us reminding him.

Today is only the 3rd day of school, no homework yet, but I imagine it's coming.

[undecidedowl]

Aug 19, 2021 19:56:06 GMT -5 niq said:

Aug 19, 2021 19:06:41 GMT -5 undecidedowl said:

Nothing diagnosed. He does have difficulty writing which is part of why I want him to practice writing. I hate to give up before he is at least somewhat capable, but maybe I'm thinking about it wrong.

When you say "difficulty writing" do you mean handwriting, coming up with sentences, or both/not sure?

Does your school have staff for small group intervention support?

Both. He has trouble getting all his thoughts on paper, which I associate with the ADHD. He also has fine motor trouble with handwriting and still reverses letters. He used to get more support at school but I don't think he is this year as he met the particular goals he had. I can ask.

[undecidedowl]

Aug 19, 2021 19:21:45 GMT -5 momof2 said:

Aug 19, 2021 19:06:41 GMT -5 undecidedowl said:

Nothing diagnosed. He does have difficulty writing which is part of why I want him to practice writing. I hate to give up before he is at least somewhat capable, but maybe I'm thinking about it wrong.

In all seriousness, what if he never gets good at writing? Do you see this as a super important life skill in 20 years? Personally, I doubt my kid will do much writing in 20 years. Heck, I’m not even sure if she will need to type, but I consider this more important than writing. She will likely go to her job and speak into the air and crap will magically get typed up, completed, etc.

Fair point. At a minimum, he needs to master writing without reversals and getting his thoughts onto paper. We probably should work on typing skills though instead of just handwriting.

[orval]

Aug 20, 2021 10:35:19 GMT -5 undecidedowl said:

Aug 19, 2021 19:56:06 GMT -5 niq said:

When you say "difficulty writing" do you mean handwriting, coming up with sentences, or both/not sure?

Does your school have staff for small group intervention support?

Both. He has trouble getting all his thoughts on paper, which I associate with the ADHD. He also has fine motor trouble with handwriting and still reverses letters. He used to get more support at school but I don't think he is this year as he met the particular goals he had. I can ask.

That could be dysgraphia  -- which includes the motor portion and written expression.  I would see if school will evaluate for that.  My ds stopped handwriting anything in school 4th - 5th grade, they gave him a laptop.  He did OT for many years with little effect.  The written expression piece is easier now with typing but still a struggle.

[niq]

Aug 20, 2021 10:35:19 GMT -5 undecidedowl said:

Aug 19, 2021 19:56:06 GMT -5 niq said:

When you say "difficulty writing" do you mean handwriting, coming up with sentences, or both/not sure?

Does your school have staff for small group intervention support?

Both. He has trouble getting all his thoughts on paper, which I associate with the ADHD. He also has fine motor trouble with handwriting and still reverses letters. He used to get more support at school but I don't think he is this year as he met the particular goals he had. I can ask.

This was us! With about 7 weeks of 4x1.5 hour tutoring (so 36 hours) V has gone from basically not writing at all/tears when we try to get him to write, to writing at almost grade level. He's going into 3rd grade, so I think one year behind yours. We used Handwriting Without Tears, and it seems like it's easier to teach than the old school "Two solid red lines and one blue dash line" method.

I would see if you can get a small group intervention for writing, and maybe talk to the teacher about setting up some sort behavior management/rewards system that works for him. At home you can try "no TV until you finish your homework" and maybe let him ask for help if he needs it?

A friend of mine was in a similar boat and had a lot of luck with The Writing Revolution. It seems like a lot of kids need some help getting started with sentence formation.

Just in general I feel like we've gotten a handle on how to teach reading and math, and lots of parents can do a good job teaching the basics, but writing is this big tangled mess, especially in elementary school.

EDIT: When he's asked about writing now, he says he used to be scared and now he's "just a little bit scared" and I talk about how I sometimes feel a little bit scared writing.

Also I will just say that I felt a lot better writing papers in college once I started writing the first draft longhand. In front of a computer the temptation to go back and edit the last sentence was too much, it took a lot longer. It was faster and less agonizing to do the first draft and then go back for edits.