Last school year there was no extended day and DH and I just figured it out and picked up the kids at 3 and swapped off who watched them as we both finished our work days. DH has started a much more demanding job and will no longer be able to pitch in at the end of the days so I signed both girls up for extended day since it’s back this year. DD2 is still at preschool and her extended day is with her same stable pod of kids that she’s with all day. DD1 is starting K and from my understanding (waiting on an email from the extended day director) is that they will be in small groups at extended day but it will be a different group of kids that she’s with all day (some may overlap). This would increase exposure though masks are mandated in our state so we have that.
I am toying with the idea of trying to find someone who can get DD1 off the bus then pick up DD2 and watch them at home till 5ish vs extended day. The pro would be it less exposure (we would require sitter to be vaccinated), might be easier for me cause I won’t have to worry about pickup (which is by 5 this year and that’s not super easy). Con is they would have to drive my kids which I never have anyone but us do and if that person is sick or flakes we have no backup plan.
What is everyone else with two working parents doing? For people who have done both do you find one better than the other?
We are doing extended care which is the same scenario for my DS as it is for your DD1. My school is also mandating masks and they do afterschool outside as much as weather permits (they have a tent with tables set up for kids who want to do homework), so that eases my mind a bit.
I've always been hesitant to go the nanny/babysitter route because it has seem like there is ALWAYS an issue with my friends in that boat. Babysitter calls in repeatedly, quits without notice, is just generally unreliable, etc. Maybe that's not fair but that's just not at potential problem I want to deal with.
We are doing extended care which is the same scenario for my DS as it is for your DD1. My school is also mandating masks and they do afterschool outside as much as weather permits (they have a tent with tables set up for kids who want to do homework), so that eases my mind a bit.
I've always been hesitant to go the nanny/babysitter route because it has seem like there is ALWAYS an issue with my friends in that boat. Babysitter calls in repeatedly, quits without notice, is just generally unreliable, etc. Maybe that's not fair but that's just not at potential problem I want to deal with.
This is my fear for babysitters as well. I nannied for a family in Brookline for 5 years in college doing this exact thing, picking the kids up and watching them till school was over and I just want to find someone as dependable as I was LOL.
Have you actually found a sitter? I ask because we searched high and low for someone to watch C for the last week before school started, and couldn’t find anyone who was free or wanted to do it. As we asked around, it seems that it’s VERY hard to find sitters now.
If you have found someone and it’s cost effective, you’d just want to make sure that they had the necessary car seats and they were installed correctly, but otherwise it sounds convenient. It might give you more flexibility as far as what time you need to leave work since you don’t have to meet a tight pickup window.
If you can’t find someone, I think the extended day solution sounds fine. It’s not ideal, but at least kids are masked (which I would kill for in our school district), so I don’t think it’s particularly risky.
Post by sporklemotion on Aug 24, 2021 9:40:34 GMT -5
We do extended day, which is similar to what your DD1 has. While it was exposure to a different cohort of kids, they did lots outside when the weather cooperated and spread out in the school building within reason when it didn’t.
Our reasons were that my two girls like each other more when they can spend some time apart and have other kids around and that the extended day had activities instead of prolonged screen time, which is likely what they’d push for if they were alone with a sitter. I realize you can tell the sitter not to let that happen, but I didn’t want to take that on.
Our COVID risks were relatively low, though (no high risk relatives that we are often, DH and I are vaccinated) and we were a little more risk tolerant than others might be in terms of doing activities that brought them into masked and distanced contact with other kids.
Their school offered pooled testing (as did my work), which also made us somewhat more comfortable monitoring things. The school took masking and distancing seriously and, though I can’t say for sure what their teachers did, staff vaccination has been good overall.
The babysitter driving my kid is not something I’ve thought enough about to say what I’d do, and pickup time was OK for me because my work day starts earlier and ends earlier than most.
Post by steamboat185 on Aug 24, 2021 9:50:15 GMT -5
We are doing extended day. We started back at the end of last year and they spend almost the entire afternoon outside. They also can spread out between our school gym and the cafeteria and the numbers are pretty low. My oldest was so happy to go back to aftercare I think it’s worth the risk (also the lady who runs ours is awesome and a total hard ass so I know she enforces the rules.)
Have you actually found a sitter? I ask because we searched high and low for someone to watch C for the last week before school started, and couldn’t find anyone who was free or wanted to do it. As we asked around, it seems that it’s VERY hard to find sitters now.
If you have found someone and it’s cost effective, you’d just want to make sure that they had the necessary car seats and they were installed correctly, but otherwise it sounds convenient. It might give you more flexibility as far as what time you need to leave work since you don’t have to meet a tight pickup window.
If you can’t find someone, I think the extended day solution sounds fine. It’s not ideal, but at least kids are masked (which I would kill for in our school district), so I don’t think it’s particularly risky.
I have not. The local college moves in next weekend and I just posted to the local sitter FB page cause the college kids are usually starting to look around now. I don’t know how lucky we will get and I’ve never really used a non family sitter before.
I work from home as does DH but I would essentially need to block my 4:30-5 every day if we do extended day and decline those meetings so I could do the double pickup. Was easier then they were in the same school!
We are doing extended day. We started back at the end of last year and they spend almost the entire afternoon outside. They also can spread out between our school gym and the cafeteria and the numbers are pretty low. My oldest was so happy to go back to aftercare I think it’s worth the risk (also the lady who runs ours is awesome and a total hard ass so I know she enforces the rules.)
I am hoping when they email me back they reassure me and I feel better about the exposure. If it’s mostly outside that would be great!
I would try to find someone but understand it may not be possible (my BFF is struggling greatly to find someone and in previous years she’s always had her pick of options). TBH I’d want it more to help me than anything — I would pay for an extra hour before they needed to pick up and have them do any errands, dinner prep, or laundry if willing / able to make it more worth it for them. Even if it’s just someone 3 days a week it would make me being available the other 2 so much easier.
I would try to find someone but understand it may not be possible (my BFF is struggling greatly to find someone and in previous years she’s always had her pick of options). TBH I’d want it more to help me than anything — I would pay for an extra hour before they needed to pick up and have them do any errands, dinner prep, or laundry if willing / able to make it more worth it for them. Even if it’s just someone 3 days a week it would make me being available the other 2 so much easier.
Omg if they would prep dinner or even cut up fruit for the weeks lunches I would be so happy. I def think if I found someone 3 days a week I could make 2x a week work from 3-5 with help from DH.
I feel like you are right though that it may take a while to find the right person.
Could you get her off the bus still and then figure out DD2 pick up separate? Would your DD2 be ok on her own for a bit after school?
Pre-COVID we did before/after care. After care was kind of an insurance policy because of DH's pick-up availability. Many days, DH would see the bus leaving our neighborhood as he was coming home with E or they would be getting home when the bus was dropping off a neighbor.
So if you can block a few mins to grab her from the bus and she can entertain herself for sometime, that might be worth trying.
ETA: Right now DH WFH so she's riding the bus, but we are on the list for before/after care starting 1 Nov until we know more. Our before/after care is all grades, K-5 and masked. It is what it is. There's not much we can do if we're both in the office.
In your situation, I would do extended care. You could find a college kid who would be great for first semester but could have a schedule change for second semester. The extended care will be rock solid in dependability.
If you intend to get your child vaccinated, hopefully that will be this fall/early winter and then the exposure to more kids won't be that big of a deal.
In your situation, I would do extended care. You could find a college kid who would be great for first semester but could have a schedule change for second semester. The extended care will be rock solid in dependability.
If you intend to get your child vaccinated, hopefully that will be this fall/early winter and then the exposure to more kids won't be that big of a deal.
I will feel so much better once she is vaccinated and I hope it’s this fall!! DD2 will likely not be in the next “group” for approval since she’s under 5 but she already had covid earlier this month and her group for after care is same as during preK so I am less worried about her. Come on FDA!!
Could you get her off the bus still and then figure out DD2 pick up separate? Would your DD2 be ok on her own for a bit after school?
Pre-COVID we did before/after care. After care was kind of an insurance policy because of DH's pick-up availability. Many days, DH would see the bus leaving our neighborhood as he was coming home with E or they would be getting home when the bus was dropping off a neighbor.
So if you can block a few mins to grab her from the bus and she can entertain herself for sometime, that might be worth trying.
ETA: Right now DH WFH so she's riding the bus, but we are on the list for before/after care starting 1 Nov until we know more. Our before/after care is all grades, K-5 and masked. It is what it is. There's not much we can do if we're both in the office.
I WFH and so does DH so if we don’t do aftercare for just DD1 she can take the bus home and it will have minimal impact on our schedule. She can mostly play by herself if I set her up with a snack after school I just feel like she would be bored. DD2 needs more eyes on her but I could potentially have her in after care and not DD1.
Post by CrazyLucky on Aug 24, 2021 11:26:35 GMT -5
My DD is in 4th and DS is in 6th. Last year we did afterschool care, right at school. This year, they decided t hey are not doing afterschool care because of the risk of COVID of bussing the kids to the school in the district that has the afterschool care. DS will instead be riding a bus home, so I don't really get the logic there. Anyway, I don't trust him to not eat every piece of junk food and go comatose watching TV, so we're trying to find a teenager to come over and watch him. It's been difficult! A lot of "I'm free on M, W and every other Friday" type availability. Worst case scenario, DS will be on his own for a couple of hours after school. If we had the choice, they would both be in afterschool care at school.
AJ has taken the bus from school to his babysitter's for years but she lives in our school's area, has kids at the same school, and is his weekday caregiver when school is not in session so it's a little different situation and consistency with caregivers isn't an issue. In your situation, I'd do the aftercare program for consistency sake.
We were going to do aftercare this year for DS1 (6). (Last year we did me dropping off/picking up, which just cut into my work day a lot.) But after 3 days of school we had a COVID situation in our house and were home the next two weeks. So I just cut out aftercare as one less thing to tighten up our bubble a bit. So now we're doing bus to/from home and I'm walking him to/from the bus stop. I WFH so it's mostly going to be like it was last year--I work and he has the run of the house, which means more screen time than I like during the week, but honestly I'm still in survival mode with everything.
Post by plutosmoon on Aug 24, 2021 11:55:15 GMT -5
My DD's school doesn't offer extended care. Instead she is bussed to a private after school daycare. It's a year round program, so she's set for summers, vacation and random days off. There are kids from all 3 elementary schools in the city so lots of different kid exposure. So far no issues.
Currently, it is closing at 4 it won't be much care time at all unless they are able to extend the hours once school starts, I'm supposed to work until 4:30. I just work through lunch and leave at 3:30 for pickup, it's on my calendar, everyone knows not to schedule meetings with me at that time. I don't have another option, a babysitter in this area would be cost prohibitive.
They are back to mandatory masks, and they spend a lot of time outside, so I'm hoping for the best. It's not ideal, but it's the only program available in the city and I can't lose my spot.
Personally, I would never trade the reliability, affordability and social interaction of a structured program for a babysitter. I would only do a babysitter if there was no other option.
I won't be WFH much longer, but even if I were I have zero ability to get my work done when DD is home with me.
I'll add another vote for extended day/after care at school, even though DH and I are currently WFH and we live 12 houses from the school. Not having to transition the kids anywhere till after my workday is huge, plus not having to find and manage someone. Plus the after care just starts early on days with an early close. Plus lower cost for us. So many advantages. At home my kids just eat too many snacks and watch screens, while in after care they get some relatively unstructured play with other kids, which is so good for them. They're masked indoors.
I had a job in college where I would get the kids off of the bus, play with them, start homework, make dinner, prep lunches and then I left at 7.
The mom was actually a SAHM but she had 5 kids and $$ was not a factor so I think she just liked having the extra hands.
I think if you can find a sitter they can help you do much more than just watch the kids - get some laundry done, prep meals, etc. which could come in handy especially if your H is going to be less available.
That said, I am a SAHM and my kids always beg to go to aftercare ha!
1. For camp, we did extended care since we have to pick them up at 4, and I can't leave work at 3:30 to pick them up. DH works from home, but he can't jump in his car and pick them up while on phone calls.
2. For school, I was going to do extended care, but DH told me not to. The kids ride the bus home and get home around 3:45. I get home at 5. DH is home, but they are 100% ignored since he is on phone calls unless there is an emergency. They know to do their homework, and then they play on their school chromebooks. They are 11 and 8.
We’re doing aftercare for DD1. We did it last year (for K) and they kept the kids in separate pods and were outside as much as possible. A nanny wouldn’t really work for us because we don’t have enough space to keep the kids/nanny separate from us while working. H and I are both WFH for the foreseeable future and there is no way our kids would actually not bother us if they were home in the house, even with supervision.
We’re in MA though, with mandated masking at school and high vaccine uptake for those eligible, so I think the risk is a bit lower than other states.
Post by countthestars on Aug 24, 2021 15:28:04 GMT -5
I would do aftercare for DD2 and let DD1 get off the bus. I don't think she'll be bored (she's going into K, right?). I think she'll be exhausted and happy to just have a snack and watch a show or look at books. Kinder is killer.
Post by starburst604 on Aug 24, 2021 15:55:02 GMT -5
We did extended day last year and will do it again this year. It was a pretty small crew due to Covid and while she was around kids that weren't in her classroom pod, they took the same care with masking, social distancing, and they were outside whenever possible. There was never an exposure situation the entire school year. Since masking will continue this year I'm hopeful the same will be true. In general I've always shied away from sitters and nannies for daily care because we don't want to deal with them being out sick, on vacation or generally unreliable.
Post by sporklemotion on Aug 24, 2021 17:43:05 GMT -5
Another factor to consider might be how easy it or to get spots in aftercare. Some of the towns near me have very long waiting lists and you need to sign up well before kindergarten. Once you have a slot, you can keep it and subsequent children of yours get priority. We would be loathe to give up our spots because we don’t know if we’d get back in next year. If a babysitter/nanny is a long term solution for yiu, that might not be an issue, but if you’re thinking of it as something for just this year, it might be worth adding to your calculus. Not every town around here is like that, but many of the ones with two-career families are.
Extended day. For ours, it is almost all outside unless excessively hot or cold. They aren’t in the same class pod, but are in a smaller pod and wear masks.
I am constantly hiring at work for people leaving for too many reasons to list, therefore at home I minimize hiring individual people for kid-related stuff as much as possible. I would much rather rely on the programs and services offered by the school. I am also still scarred from hiring 2 nannies when DS was a baby and having them both flake on me.
We did aftercare last year and are doing it again this year. Delta is a whole other thing, but it was a non-issue last year. Masks were mandated and the school was good at enforcing it inside. Honestly, between being in hallways, the lunch room, and at recess with kids outside his classroom it doesn't feel like he's any more exposed doing aftercare than he is during his normal school day.
I guess I'm just kind of resigned at this point. It's the best option for our family. The fact that he hasn't gotten covid yet kind of feels like a miracle. Maybe we'll make it to him getting vaccinated first, maybe we won't.
I remember feeling freaked out about it last year though, so I get where you're coming from. There was another option that I elected not to pursue because it would have put him in an even larger bucket of kids he wasn't normally exposed to and they didn't require masks. Aftercare felt like the safer option.
We are in another country so slightly different situation, but we are doing extended care (breakfast club x 5 days and after school club x 2). We have been dealing with Delta in Scotland for a while, and it's going through my vaccinated friends like crazy so at this point, we are unfortunately just assuming we are all going to catch it at some point this year.
I need to know what the week will look like as DH and I both work full-time flexibly (which is why we only need full care twice a week) - from home now, but both of us will transition back to part-time in the office. Slightly annoying logistics (having the pickups, the timings not being perfect) are offset by just knowing it's always open. If someone gets sick, they can carry on whereas with a babysitter you're always working around them.