Dear WPs, I am supposed to go back to the office twice a week starting in a couple weeks. (Still TBD, given how cases are rising. This might all be a moot point if we pull the plug on the whole plan) This return to office plan was my baby. My colleague and I created the entire hybrid policy ourselves. We worked on it for months. Rolled it out to the staff earlier in the summer and got really positive feedback. I am really looking forward to going back to the office to see people part of the time. I need it for my mental health. I felt confident in my vaccine and that I'd be ok, even with my higher risk status. Now, I need to go get shot number three because the vaccine may not be doing quite as good a job as I had hoped. I've started masking back up in public indoor spaces like Target. We're trying to stick to outdoor activities as much as possible now. But here's what's weighing on my conscious - if we return to the office and I choose to wear a mask, I'm worried that I'm going to be giving off a vibe that I don't think it's safe for us to be back. I am supposed to be the head cheerleader for this policy if we do end up going back, but I'm not sure I can or should be going all in on unmasked time in an open floorplan office. I don't have my own office to sit in, I sit in a wide open row with other people. Do I ask for accommodations to try to get an office assigned to me so I'm a little more spaced out? Do I just mask up all day and be transparent about my higher risk status so people understand why? Ugh. This sucks. Signed, WWYD?
twinmomma, I don't think it is unreasonable to keep the mask while you do the initial transition peice, and then the next step would be to make masks optional and monitor cases to decide if they are necessary. As long as there is a time line
That being said, I absolutely hate masks. I get claustrophobic, and have to talk myself down from panic attack level. I lock my jaw become a mouth breather and that leads to sore throat, sore jaw and the feeling of suffocation. If my company forced me to come back with mandatory masks when I've been able to do my job from home the entire time I would be angry. And I would start looking for a new job. If masks are required and you can do your job from home why would you mandate coming into the office, i think it should be a choice
xctsclrx, I may not have explained it well. There's no company mandate to wear masks. I would personally be choosing to wear one as a higher risk person. Which is why I'm afraid it may send off the wrong message that I don't think we should be in person if I'm masking up, you know?
My company has blocked this site so I'm am stuck on the app now.
Also, my SS is full blown teenage angst at 19 years old. He is moving back in with his mom because we want him to come up with a life plan. He doesn't want to and thinks we are awful and horrible for wanting him to want more out of life than working at Zaxby's. He just doesn't want to do anything. Doesn't want college, doesn't want trade school, doesn't want military. We think he needs to see a therapist, but he refuses. So now he is going to go live with his mom. It's been a rough few days here.
xctsclrx, I may not have explained it well. There's no company mandate to wear masks. I would personally be choosing to wear one as a higher risk person. Which is why I'm afraid it may send off the wrong message that I don't think we should be in person if I'm masking up, you know?
Oh honestly it wouldn't phase me in the least. I know you are the leader of this, but it wouldn't bother me at all.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Aug 25, 2021 8:39:16 GMT -5
twinmomma, if I didn't have an office I would absolutely wear a mask. It's not saying it's unsafe, it's saying you are being cautious. Although people will take from it what they will.
We were not successful for very long going mask optional before our case count got so high we had to mandate masks again, so there's that.
twinmomma I don't know your rates, but with our rates, anyone in office should be wearing a mask in common settings or continue to work from home.
Dear club sponsors
I think I've said this before, but your organizational skills suck. You should be able to give more than a days notice for meetings and events. Half of your kids,including my DD can't drive. I have some things like a job and adult responsibilities, so having to rearrange my schedule the day before is not an option.
Signed, I should train you people on organization and I'm not even that organized.
xctsclrx, I may not have explained it well. There's no company mandate to wear masks. I would personally be choosing to wear one as a higher risk person. Which is why I'm afraid it may send off the wrong message that I don't think we should be in person if I'm masking up, you know?
Wear the mask. We only had a few weeks of mask optional for vaccinated folks before it flipped back to all masks all the time, but many people still wore masks and everyone understood that there were other reasons to mask than a lack of trust or unvaccinated status. People wore masks for many reasons, anxiety, unvaccinated kids at home, their own health concerns. If you are comfortable, being open about your medical concerns may help others feel more comfortable with their own concerns, but that’s totally up to you.
I feel for you. I am in the office in a hybrid form and this has been the most difficult time to be a manager. Everything is all gray area and be flexible but still do XYZ it is exhausting. I can’t imagine if I’d actually written the policy! I hope your return goes well.
We've been in person since June 2020. Sometimes closed to the public, but doing curbside (1 month June 2020, and end of Nov 2020-mid Jan 2021). We serve the public, so we have to be here. I've written most of the reopening plans, so I understand. We've been masked the entire time except the month of July 2021 when the CDC said vaccinated do not have to mask and then they changed their mind in August.
This is fluid, it's OK. But I will say if everyone has been fine working from home the entire time, then maybe just wait for the Delta wave to be over before starting hybrid. I know you don't want to, but everyone is going to be like OK now the numbers are high and now they want us back. DH's office was open for like a month, and they closed back down. It ever evolving, so it's OK to delay it until things get better. That is what I would do.
If leadership (and I would make them decide not you) decides people have to come back, I would make everyone 100% masked unless in their own private office with the door shut.
waverly, At this point, I have no idea if they'll actually make us go back or not. We're talking about it weekly in our leadership meeting and trying to figure out what to do. Everyone knows it's going to be a game time decision.
twinmomma, not sure how things are in your state, but things are worsening here and there are rumors that the Governor is going to start adding restrictions again. So my gut is telling me that for you all, the game time decision will be to delay.
For us, I really don't want to go curbside, so I would like the ride the current wave out. We are all masked and everyone is vaccinated except for maybe 5 people out of 40, and 2-3 of them have had Covid already.
twinmomma, I've used DD as my reason for still masking and none of my clients have balked at it and most have offered to mask up themselves. Does most of your staff know about you being immune compromised?
WPs We now have a state outside mask mandate when distancing cannot be obtained. Events are being cancelled right and left. The park cancelled the big concert in the park for Labor Day meaning our BBQ fundraiser also got cancelled. We all see limits and modified shut downs in our future here. West Coast lady
Dear DD You are 90% convinced to start the year out with the virtual academy. I'm hoping the teacher who is the 10% hold out for you can help convince you it will be better to stay online. Mom Dear Mrs J (past 1st grade teacher) You are the 10%. I know you are nervous about going to school so maybe you can help DD see why and how you two can still talk while she stays online. Me
twinmomma, just wear a mask and don't think twice about it. We had a handful of weeks that we were allowed to be unmasked, and we still had people masking for various reasons and I never thought twice about it. You don't need to give a reason at all, and honestly, no one should be asking you.
DH's company deferred their return to the office plans until 2022, but also made the comment that this is the last time. If you someone thinks they'll want to remain remote beyond that, they'll need to get it officially approved or look for a new job.
My company has already said we won't be returning to remote work unless the county mandates it, which it hasn't, as indicated it will be unlikely.
Thanks all! You all made me feel better about it! I think I was way overthinking it and the perception people would have. There's literally not a single person masking in our office right now of those who go in. But I'd imagine once everyone starts coming back, and it's not just a dozen or so random people, that would increase.
As of today, it's looking like we'll probably just keep extending it by 30 days. Everyone knows that it will happen eventually, it's just a matter of when makes the most sense.
Post by supertrooper1 on Aug 25, 2021 15:35:38 GMT -5
twinmomma, I agree with the others. If I saw you wearing a mask at work, I wouldn't correlate it with thinking it was safe or not to come back to work. xctsclrx, don't take your SS's inability to come up with a life plan personally. If he chooses college or trade school in a few years, he may take it more seriously than if he started before he was ready.
Dear mandatory writing course, You were a waste of time. I respond to emails as my job, not write public bulletins. Signed, Now 6 hours behind on my work
Dear chiropractor, I've seen a slight improvement in my neck pain. I hope today's appointment will result in a significant increase. Signed, Frustrated
Dear twinmomma, putting off reopening plans for the foreseeable future seems to be the norm now. But if you do go back, masking is totally fine. Now that we know vaxxed adults can spread covid to unvaxxed kids, I’m masking everywhere indoors now.
Signed, not risking being stuck at home with all my kids if one of us tests positive.
Dear client I flew to and pitched to today in person, unmasked, in an area with low vax rates, Please hire us so it was worth it!
Signed, it was good to see a couple coworkers though
This makes me a bad person and I totally know it. DD has had a friend since kindergarten whose parents have become Qanon whack jobs who believe Covid is a vast multi-national conspiracy to topple Trump. I swear, they used to be normal. But now they are nuts. Every single year, this little boy claims he is so mistreated, usually by a girl in his class, and he claims he’s being bullied. Every. Single. Year. And every single year, he relied on DD to be his protector, the person he could rely on to stand up for him and be his friend. But since his parents are anti-mask whackos and the kid doesn’t properly wear a mask, we made a demand that DD not be in this kid’s class. So today on social media, the kid’s dad posted something about how watching how his kid suffers dealing with his classmates makes him remember how much he hated school.
Here’s the part that makes me fairly awful. The first day of school DD sat by herself in the cafeteria and thought her old lunch gang would join her. The lunch gang was boys (including this boy) and one girl. All the boys, led by this boy, sat elsewhere, leaving DD by herself until the other girl got through the lunch line. Another nice little girl left her friends to go sit with DD, who was near tears when she told this story.
So like 90% of me thinks, “Good. Fuck that little fucker.” And I did tell DD this boy isn’t a friend and not to feel like she needs to come to his rescue. He can rely on the other anti-mask asshole kids.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Aug 25, 2021 21:08:38 GMT -5
mommyatty - nope, you’re NTA. I’m glad she had some other friends who came and sat with her and I would totally be hoping my kid out grows the need for that friendship.
Dear k3am, I saw the original and fully support your language choices. I also wouldn't hesitate to tell your sister the challenges you're dealing with and let her know that she needs to step it up. Can you assign her tasks to deal with? Or will she just drop the ball and not do it? I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this and trying to find the right care for your mom. I've been thinking of you. Signed, Frustrated for you
Dear mommyatty, Actions have consequences. That dad has to figure that out and so will his kid, unfortunately. I'd be avoiding all chances for my kids to play with that kid.
OMG- we lost power again last night in another storm.
Luckily it came back on, but of course in the middle of the night with all the lights blazing. DH set the regular clock and the alarm for 6 but didn’t get up, so I lost another hour is sleep for no reason, and now currently he is dying of allergies. Get it together universe!
Dear beau's son, If you want to bring an entire backpack full of stuffed animals with us on our trip, then you are fully responsible for those stuffies. We will not be carrying the bag, packing animals, or helping round them up when it's time to go home. We told you to only pack one or two, you decided to be super silly about it. This is going to be a great life lesson in natural consequences. I don't think you've ever carried your own stuff. Signed, You're old enough
Dear beau, DO NOT pick up that backpack! He and I have a deal. Don't do it! Signed, We are not pack mules
twinmomma, she... sort of helps out. She is willing to take a couple hours off work a week if it backs up to lunch hour or beginning of the day to take her to an appointment. But that's it. If there are two appointments in one week, she couldn't possibly do that. She hasn't taken a day off work, she didn't show up to the hospital until 7:30 on a Friday because she was "innundated with work." She hasn't helped with unraveling mom's finances, hasn't spent hours of her work day on hold with companies, hasn't spent more than a few hours with her at a time. And every time she pulls the "so busy at work" thing, I want to scream because.. SO AM I. I also have little kids at home, so I don't come home and suddenly have free time. And I'm taking time off work, I'm flying down, abandoning my family, and because I'm staying with her, I get the brunt of my mom's anger for multiple days, non-stop.
She has already tried to play the blame game with me about how I didn't come down while my mom was hospitalized 15+ years ago after a stroke... I really had to dig back in my memory vaults for this one. If we're thinking of the same event, it's when I was away at college, during finals. When I offered to try to reschedule finals and come down, and was told not to because there was nothing to do.. and oldest sister was unemployed, so it wasn't a big deal for her. And I came down as soon as finals were over. But yes, guilt someone for something they did in their early 20's..
She is in complete denial about the situation. She acknowledges that something is wrong, but it's always just a "right now." Mom's not doing very well "right now" and she thinks once we figure out what's wrong, she will get better. But... she won't. And because she doesn't think it's a big deal, she's the "nice" and "good" daughter who isn't asking my mom questions, isn't pushing for assited living, etc.
We have called several different in home care providers who either don't call back or don't have staff available. We still have to wrap up all the testing and see the neurologist, but that isn't scheduled until the end of September. I'm hopeful that by then, there is an official diagnosis and we can force the issue of assisted living, which will open a whole different can of worms...
k3am, my sister visited a few times in the hospital. I helped with phone calls, but she basically did the assisted living thing- called and toured, but we were kind of forced by the hospital because they were going to discharge him and putting him out on the sidewalk was not really legal for them to do. And unless she wanted him in her home, which she did not, and my home has way too many stairs.
After that though his appointments have just been when she is off work. She sees him 1-2 times a week and works, and that is fine with me, but he isn't in the acute stage right now. Denial is tough. She was in denial when we went to Columbia, and then started to get a clue from my texts. When she picked him up from the airport she was like don't die on the way to the hospital. Also, some interpersonal issues with him like why am I taking care of him if he wasn't that great to her. I think she has worked through a lot of it, but there is still the idea that he can live on his own or travel, which is not the case yet. It might be someday, but right now he still needs to be reminded to eat and take his medicine. He can know shower/ dress/ brush teeth on his own with no reminders.
waverly, yes, mom is also not taking her meds or eating unless someone literally puts them in front of her. And because she lives alone, it's only guaranteed to happen on a regular schedule if I'm there. I call her daily to ask, and she gets mad at me for treating her like a child.. but she also won't have taken her meds yet.
I'll talk to her and she'll tell me she feels shaky/weird/lightheaded and I'll ask what she had for lunch and the answer is usually nothing. Well, it's time for dinner, so the fact that you haven't eaten lunch, and breakfast, if she had it, is <200 calories is probably part of the problem.
We are trying to get her a caregiver for 4 hours a day, which is what insurance approved her for, in the meantime. That would cover breakfast and lunch at least, and the majority of her medication.
k3am, yup, he wants to move out. My sister was talking about an apartment or he wants to drive a van to Florida. Well, he can't even go into the store without going off in the wrong direction, how is he supposed to drive. My suggestion was a senior living apartment, so he would have his own studio or 1 bedroom with a kitchen and bathroom, and then you can add on the service where they come in 2 times a day for medicine. They also have a cafeteria, so maybe he could make breakfast/ lunch and go to the cafeteria for dinner, but he would have to be able to remember to make breakfast/ lunch before that was an option. He could probably go to the cafeteria for the other meals (if provided), but he would have to remember to go to the cafeteria. In good news though, he is walking on his own like a football field or farther. A far cry from being carried out of his hostel by 2 men.
We finally got a call back from a caregiver service! Who won't consider us because she's only approved for 4 hours a day. (Sad trombone) We already have to pay the first 90 days out of pocket.. but paying an additional $4200/month out of pocket for the forseeable future is not ideal. So.. looks like I'm going to spend some serious time on the phone with the insurance company fighting to get them to talk to me (I'm not on the POA) to see what it will take to get them to increase it to 8 hours a day.