MOOK (boys): Settle this [Update in OP]

[ohgillian]

Update:

Thanks for all the replies. Here is some additional info:

- I am the parent who thinks we should let DS wear PJs (which, to be clear, is what DS wants to do).
- H is the parent who said DS is too old for PJs.
- DS also has only been to one sleepover in his life, and it was several years ago, so I don't personally consider that aspect relevant. 
- DS really likes PJs and prefers to wear long sleeve long pant year round.
- H was very supportive in my crowdsourcing this and I will share the poll results with him tonight. 
- I also will tell H that if DS has a sleepover, he can recommend just a casual tee shirt [ETA and shorts!].

I don't think there were any questions in the thread that I didn't address, but let me know if I missed anything. Thanks for the replies!

--------------------------------
OP

DS is 11.

P1: we need to stop buying him pajamas. Rationale: DS would be regarded as immature at sleepovers if he had on pajamas; parent says that the average middle school boy does not wear full pajamas (defined here as long sleeve top and long pants). Parent assumes that average teen boy sleeps in shorts and a tee.

P2: Pajamas are a normal part of life. Everything P1 says is bananas.

[mrsGreeko]

My 9 year old DS just wears fleece sleep pants or shorts to bed. He might wear a t shirt or undershirt with them, but he definitely hasn’t worn actual PJ sets in years.

[brooklyn]

I think I’d just defer to whatever the kid wants to wear.

[brooklyn]

My 8 year old still wears full sets, but he also still lets me pick out all his clothes, which probably will stop before 11.

[cmeon]

We haven't had sleepovers since my 14yo was about that age (thanks COVID), but he personally hasn't worn actual pajamas in many years (midway through elementary he converted to tees/shorts). At least a few of his friends still wore PJs, though- and at least one of them still wore themed PJs+teddy dog, and it was no big deal (because my kid and his friends aren't assholes). Let him wear what he's comfortable with, but let him know he has options (he may not have realized).

[jewel]

What does the kid want?

I’m not a MOOK, though. My boys are 3 and 6. They both wear only underwear to bed during the summer, and “real” PJs during the winter. But I really don’t care what they wear as long as they sleep. If they refused to wear real PJs, then I’d stop wasting money on them.

[katiecj6]

My ds is 12 and he wears a mix of pj sets (often mismatched) and t-shirts. We also buy pj pants that he wears with t-shirts.

My step son doesn't wear sets at all, he just pretty much wears athletic clothes.

[waverly]

My kid hasn’t worn pajamas since he was 4 or 5. He prefers a t shirt and athletic shorts. DH wears shorts as his loungewear so DS probably perceives that as what men wear to bed.

[thebreakfastclub]

I wouldn't buy an 11yo those tighter fitting Hanna Andersson style pjs, but I think pajamas are fine.

My 8yo sleeps in boxer briefs because he's always hot at night.

There's such a wide range of what people wear to bed.

[mildop]

My 11 yr old wouldn’t wear the tighter pajamas. It’s only cotton shorts and a tshirt, or flannel pants in the winter. Wouldn’t wear anything with a saying or something “cute.”

[dontlook]

Team this child is old enough to decide.

My 8 year old DS sleeps in athletic shorts/pajamas shorts and white T-shirts. He sleeps hot and doesn’t like long sleeves or long pants. He doesn’t like the tight fitting pajama style and hasn’t liked it for quite some time.

DD (10) has some cute sleep sets but that are shorts and long sleeve matching shirts but she doesn’t get hot in her sleep and if she doesn’t wear long sleeves she will put on a hoodie.

[atlas]

This is 100% the decision of the child.

[lilac05]

Whatever he wants to wear. My 10 year old wears just underwear or shorts & a tshirt when it’s warm, but he loves the one piece flannel PJs (without feet) in the winter. They come in his size & adult sizes, so obviously people wear them.

This is one of those times when I care 0% about what they decide. Well...1%. You have to wear SOMETHING if other people are around. And if you’re at a sleepover with kids who care what you wear to bed, you need new friends.

[AdaraMarie]

Whatever the kid wants

[kershnic]

Let him wear whatever he wants, as long as it's clean and he's covered.

But my nephews are 12.5 and they still wear pajama sets, including sometimes matching with their little brother. They are not social pariahs, I promise.

[1yeartogo]

My kid mostly sleeps in boxer briefs when it’s hot…in the winter it’s still pjs. He is 11.

[outnumbered]

Can't the child wear shorts and a t-shirt at sleepovers (which aren't all that frequent) and whatever they want at home.  

My 12 year old boy still wears jammies, even the Hanna ones (gasp).  He still manages to maintain friends.

And honestly my kid would probably wear PJs at a sleep over because he is who he is and his friends are nice.

[devonpow]

DS1 is 14 and stopped wearing PJ sets at maybe 12? But he still wore flannel PJ pants and a t shirt until maybe 6 months ago. He had a bunch of Hanes white t’s ir random graphic Ts he would wear. He hasn’t done sleepovers in years but does overnight camp and his group of 14/15 year olds wore various versions of pjs - most just boxers and a t shirt

[mccallister84]

Team whatever the kid wants is what I would do.

[goldengirlz]

Ugh, I HATE the argument of “but s/he will appear babyish if s/he does XYZ!” I mean, who cares? My child has her whole life to try to appear cooler and more grown-up. I figure, let her enjoy these last couple of years where she can be a preteen when she wants and a child when she wants. I’m not trying to hold her back OR hurry her along. I just let her do her thing.

(FWIW, kids out here live in loungewear — all types.)

[macmars45]

Whatever he wants to wear to bed for pjs is probably just fine. As long as he feels comfortable in them and they won't constrict his breathing*. My DS still wears sets; he's 5. My nieces & nephews over age 7 all wear loose t-shirts and loose shorts or lounge pants.

*DS has some tshirts that are tight around the neck and I don't let him wear those to bed.

[momin2013]

I said other because DS8 has a combination; while I still love buying him pj sets, they are getting harder to find in his size, and really, I figure a t-shirt and underwear or soft shorts is basically the same thing, so he has some of both. For a sleepover, I might err on the tshirt-shorts side, but I think pjs would be fine, too.

[penguingrrl]

My older two are 14 and 12 and both wear pjs when it’s cold out, pj shorts and a t shirt when it’s warm out. Not matched sets anymore, but they’re also fully adult sized and don’t fit in kid styles anyway. I keep my house way too cold in winter to wear shorts and t shirts to bed.

[quesyrah]

I don’t think either if you is wrong.

I have an 11 year old boy. Sometimes he sleeps in his actual clothes, sometimes character pajamas and sometimes just plaid pajama style shorts and t shirts

[origami]

I have twins about to turn 11. One still wears PJ sets and the other wears a tshirt and flannel pants or shorts. So I agree with letting the kid decide.

No matter what they wore at home I’d send them with a T-shirt + shorts or flannel pants to a sleepover.

[scribellesam]

My boys (9 and 7) both wear athletic shorts and old t-shirts most of the time; fleece pants in winter. I clicked “other” because I didn’t have an opinion on how this “should” be; if your 11 year old likes full PJ sets then he should rock them as long as he wants.

[notsopicky]

tee shirt + underwear/boxers in the summer (that's what H wears year-round), white tee & lounge-wear/flannel pants in the winter.

The PJ boat sailed many years ago. I think if I bought E a set he'd wear them, but I don't, so here we are.

[minniemouse]

Whatever the kid wants. I have a girl that is 11 (turning 12 soon). She wears pajamas sometimes and T-shirt and shorts/jogger pants other times. For sleepovers she usually picks plain versus ones with mermaids, animals or characters on them though. At home, anything goes. 😂

[cherry1111]

I’d buy him what he wants. FWIW my 8 yr old wears boxer briefs at home and shorts and a tshirt if he’s away from home. I bought him a pj shirt and shorts set and he won’t take it with him even to sleep at the grandparents house.

[expectantsteelerfan]

I'm kinda torn...my 12 year old has a few pajama 'sets' still in his drawers, but he only wears them as a last resort if everything else is dirty. He prefers to wear shorts and tshirts that are soft and comfy but are regular clothes (most of his shirts are from sports, like the rec soccer and baseball shirts he has millions of). He wears them all year long because he runs hot, but he does still love fleece footy pjs in the winter. He will wear them around the house, but take it off before bed.

I would just ask your kid what they want. If they care either way, then they probably won't care what other kids think. I also don't think my son would care if a friend slept over and had pajamas.