It would make more sense to not make another thread about me and to just ignore me if you don't want to interact with me based on incorrect information
Ok. So both boards just completely misunderstand you. Got it. Mea culpa, wanker.
Post by newnamesameperson on Sept 6, 2021 22:26:17 GMT -5
Your H is a complete idiot for a few reasons. Clearly you know them but wtf just to confirmyour thoughts.. he knows the relationship he has with Ice Cream lady makes you uncomfortable. Regardless he decides to tell you a story in which he expects what? You to applause that he's schooling Ms. Pistachio on how to work the system when his cheap *ss doesn't even upgrade for you two.
Your H is a complete idiot for a few reasons. Clearly you know them but wtf just to confirmyour thoughts.. he knows the relationship he has with Ice Cream lady makes you uncomfortable. Regardless he decides to tell you a story in which he expects what? You to applause that he's schooling Ms. Pistachio on how to work the system when his cheap *ss doesn't even upgrade for you two.
The amount of stupidity....
OMG, Ms. Pistachio made me laugh so hard. Thank you.
Your H is a complete idiot for a few reasons. Clearly you know them but wtf just to confirmyour thoughts.. he knows the relationship he has with Ice Cream lady makes you uncomfortable. Regardless he decides to tell you a story in which he expects what? You to applause that he's schooling Ms. Pistachio on how to work the system when his cheap *ss doesn't even upgrade for you two.
The amount of stupidity....
OMG, Ms. Pistachio made me laugh so hard. Thank you.
That's not even a good flavor. Always remember, goldengirlz, YOU are cookies and cream. This other lady will just be pistachio. ;-)
I’m so glad to see your update! Stress and uncertainty can really put stress on a relationship.
FWIW, I’ve had a similar discussion with my H about how work gets Fun H and I get Blah H. I don’t recall the specifics off the discussion anymore, but I do recall it being a productive conversation. Basically, he was struggling with a bunch of stuff (stress) and work was getting his fake self while I was seeing how he really felt. I told him I was glad that he could be his real self around me, but I still got jealous that work got to see Happy H. I could tell after that that he tried to be a little more balanced. Him finding a hobby outside of work that he was/is excited about and could talk to me about helped.
I hope this week goes well for both of you, he realizes how this feels to you, and things turn back around!
I was pretty whatever about the ice cream thing, but this really rubs me the wrong way. Do not like.
I’m glad you feel like you had a productive conversation. I hope things improve and you guys can get past this slump. Fingers crossed for the colonoscopy results too.
goldengirlz, that is a great update! I am glad you were able to talk to your husband and that he really listened and heard you. Will be thinking of you this week!!
Post by irishbride2 on Sept 7, 2021 8:22:07 GMT -5
I admit I am totally the person who is a cheapass at home, but I have no problem encouraging others to spend if they are looking for validation. So I do understand how someone could have both opinions. Like, I would have my butt back in coach, but if a friend said "I want to upgrade but I'm not sure it is worth it" I would totally be the enabling friend (as long as I knew they just wanted validation).
BUT it sounds like he did it in a very condescending way. And this guy has a history of being weird with her.
Just coming in to WTF her even going to Hawaii? *WAVES HANDS* is anyone watching the news?
I am here - after reading the update of course.
I am glad that your H listened. Fingers crossed for the colonoscopy later this week. You have a lot on your plate, I hope you can take some time for you.
I totaled my car in 2009 (not my fault, but one driver of the two at fault for my damage was uninsured and I had super basic coverage, so I only received 66% of the whole $3000 value of my car). I was lucky enough to have a job, but it was not enough to cover the cost of a new/used car. I was living at home and driving my parents' minivan.
My boss was like, "oh you should look at Honda Civic, they are really affordable, like $(whatever the price was)." I just kind of stared and said, "I can't afford that." The look on his face was pretty priceless. I'd like to think he learned his lesson then. It was so incredibly uncomfortable.
Post by seeyalater52 on Sept 7, 2021 13:28:40 GMT -5
I’m glad about your update friend. Both that it wasn’t really a fight and also that your husband was receptive. Thinking of you over the next few weeks. I hope things get better. ❤️
Your H is a complete idiot for a few reasons. Clearly you know them but wtf just to confirmyour thoughts.. he knows the relationship he has with Ice Cream lady makes you uncomfortable. Regardless he decides to tell you a story in which he expects what? You to applause that he's schooling Ms. Pistachio on how to work the system when his cheap *ss doesn't even upgrade for you two.
The amount of stupidity....
Great. I'm now singing "Ice Cream Baby" in my head to the tune of "Ice Ice Baby." I blame all of you :-)
Just coming in to WTF her even going to Hawaii? *WAVES HANDS* is anyone watching the news?
Ugh, yeah, I thought that too because H and I have had multiple(!) conversations about the situation in Hawaii within the past week. The whole thing was cringeworthy. My H is such a giant idiot, he doesn’t even know what a giant idiot he is.
The truth is, this is not exactly Mr. Suave we’re talking about here. I met him when we were in our early 20s and I was only his second girlfriend. He was a skinny kid with wire glasses and way too many freckles.
And now here comes this pretty, bubbly 26 year old who ends half her texts with “I’m so dumb lol,” “I’m so awkward lol” and I’m just like 😖 Dude, LISTEN TO YOURSELF, you sound like a dumbass.
Luckily if he’s smart about anything, it’s that he’s smart enough to listen to me. Ha
This sounds really hard. I'm sorry for all the stress you're experiencing.
Are you seeing a therapist? This does sound like a lot of misplaced anger and frustration. That's not to say he's not being a butthole, but I think there is a lot to unpack here regarding your reactions to his behavior. Might help to talk it out with a professional.
This sounds really hard. I'm sorry for all the stress you're experiencing.
Are you seeing a therapist? This does sound like a lot of misplaced anger and frustration. That's not to say he's not being a butthole, but I think there is a lot to unpack here regarding your reactions to his behavior. Might help to talk it out with a professional.
I am, yes. I also did CBT last year.
I agree that she represents something of an existential threat — like the cancer scare was a wake up call and my brain is now toying with all the different ways I could lose him. Or maybe she’s a “safe” place for me to channel my anxiety/anger over the medical situation that’s not on him (because inwardly I’ve been screaming, how could you do this to me eight months after my dad died? when I know he didn’t “do this,” it just happened this way.)
Basically this year sucked and I know I’m a head case. Someone could write a book …
This sounds really hard. I'm sorry for all the stress you're experiencing.
Are you seeing a therapist? This does sound like a lot of misplaced anger and frustration. That's not to say he's not being a butthole, but I think there is a lot to unpack here regarding your reactions to his behavior. Might help to talk it out with a professional.
I am, yes. I also did CBT last year.
I agree that she represents something of an existential threat — like the cancer scare was a wake up call and my brain is now toying with all the different ways I could lose him. Or maybe she’s a “safe” place for me to channel my anxiety/anger over the medical situation that’s not on him (because inwardly I’ve been screaming, how could you do this to me eight months after my dad died? when I know he didn’t “do this,” it just happened this way.)
Basically this year sucked and I know I’m a head case. Someone could write a book …
All of that can still be true AND he could still be being inconsiderate of your feelings/acting like kind of an ass. It's not all on you.
Post by cinnamoncox0 on Sept 7, 2021 16:33:40 GMT -5
That is a great update that you both talked it out. I totally understand and feel for you when you say you want more of the fun husband back and not only be the support. It isn’t fair to you. I’m sorry for your stress over this, and I will be thinking of you this week sending healthy vibes for your h colonoscopy. I’m glad you’re in therapy but always vent here if needed.