So recently I've been seeing some posts from pro-lifers talking about how "no one talks about" how many resources there are for single mothers that choose to keep their baby. Crisis pregnancy centers that will throw them baby showers and provide them with everything they need. This is a bald faced lie and it's driving me nuts. Sure they might get you some baby things and help with formula and diapers, and help you get signed up for Medicaid/WIC, etc. but they do not have some magical pool of resources to help these women with things like housing, childcare, employment (the last two being very tied together). They may say these things to lure these women to keep their baby because that is their AGENDA, typically religious.
I worked at a women's shelter for several years and finding housing, childcare, and employment was a huge challenge for women wanting to start over. Many people go back to their abusers due to this financial struggle.
Working at a hospital and we'd have moms that needed a car seat to be able to be discharged and there were no community resources to help with that, and we are in a large metro area.
Is my experience an anomaly, or are crisis pregnancy centers really getting these single moms set up for success?
In my experience, no, they're horrible for pregnant people. Anecdotally, the two that I have heard about were really about pushing adoption for "Christian families".
There's one in my town affiliated with a local church and I hate it. I see people on the local buy nothing board suggesting that people donate baby gear to the center to "help moms in need!". So maybe they do actually provide some baby clothes/gear to pregnant people. But I checked their website and it is definitely spreading lies and misinformation about abortion. I always want to say something, but I don't want to be targeted.
Post by Patsy Baloney on Sept 8, 2021 13:25:12 GMT -5
Another particularly dastardly thing they do is force unwanted/unnecessary sonograms via trickery (posing as clinic staff, etc.). I see this a lot when I escort and you end up basically having to put your body in between them and the patient to assure them that they are being tricked and they do not need to listen to this person. It bothers me a lot that not only are they trying to rob pregnant people of bodily autonomy but will violate their bodies to do it. They are predators and they feel justified in this behavior because of their religious fanaticism and indoctrination.
Basically, these places are fucking awful and anyone who is pointing at crisis pregnancy centers as ways to have every child/parent cared for and supported is full of absolute horseshit.
You can give all the baby supplies you want. You're still in utter and complete violation of someone else's legal right to an abortion.
There's one in my town affiliated with a local church and I hate it. I see people on the local buy nothing board suggesting that people donate baby gear to the center to "help moms in need!". So maybe they do actually provide some baby clothes/gear to pregnant people. But I checked their website and it is definitely spreading lies and misinformation about abortion. I always want to say something, but I don't want to be targeted.
Same thing happened to me. I was tempted and then I read the mission statement and it was a hard no. So perfectly good baby gear is just languishing in my basement.
We do have one center in our small city that does have a lot of resources for new moms and babies. They’re heavily supported by churches, but also other non-religious groups and individuals.
That said…they TOTALLY miss out on the fact that babies live longer than 6 months. From what I see/hear, the support is fairly decent when baby is first born. But then when you age out of their program, the moms then become “People who have more babies than they can afford.” Or “People who are just living off of the system/government.” (Not actually their official words, but that’s what most people who I know support them say/act.) It’s disgusting.
I think "the resources for single mothers" topic is likely coming from right wing rhetoric to have something to say back to someone who says the right is pro birth but not pro life because they don't support women and children after the birth.
I've never worked with a Crisis Center, so I have no idea. But I think more meaningful resources for those with low incomes are likely government resources such as Wic, Medicaid, Childcare vouchers etc.
I think "the resources for single mothers" topic is likely coming from right wing rhetoric to have something to say back to someone who says the right is pro birth but not pro life because they don't support women and children after the birth.
I've never worked with a Crisis Center, so I have no idea. But I think more meaningful resources for those with low incomes are likely government resources such as Wic, Medicaid, Childcare vouchers etc.
Highly ironic considering that the exact same people are actively and successfully lobbying to cut or eliminate these resources at every turn. Hypocrisy at its finest.
Another particularly dastardly thing they do is force unwanted/unnecessary sonograms via trickery (posing as clinic staff, etc.). I see this a lot when I escort and you end up basically having to put your body in between them and the patient to assure them that they are being tricked and they do not need to listen to this person. It bothers me a lot that not only are they trying to rob pregnant people of bodily autonomy but will violate their bodies to do it. They are predators and they feel justified in this behavior because of their religious fanaticism and indoctrination.
Basically, these places are fucking awful and anyone who is pointing at crisis pregnancy centers as ways to have every child/parent cared for and supported is full of absolute horseshit.
You can give all the baby supplies you want. You're still in utter and complete violation of someone else's legal right to an abortion.
Yeah, that was already required in Texas. (ok technically a transvaginal ultrasound, but still).
I think "the resources for single mothers" topic is likely coming from right wing rhetoric to have something to say back to someone who says the right is pro birth but not pro life because they don't support women and children after the birth.
I've never worked with a Crisis Center, so I have no idea. But I think more meaningful resources for those with low incomes are likely government resources such as Wic, Medicaid, Childcare vouchers etc.
Highly ironic considering that the exact same people are actively and successfully lobbying to cut or eliminate these resources at every turn. Hypocrisy at its finest.
I totally agree!
Of course, the "right" would say that religious organization, private companies and charities will do this. But I am not sure I ever received a benefit from a religious organization or a charity. I got a $500 scholarship from the rotary club once, so I guess I am set for life!
Texas needs to pass a law that holds sperm donors equally accountable for unwanted pregnancies by doing the following:
1) Requiring all sperm donors to get reversible vasectomies OR take the "male" birth control pill 2) If their birth control fails and they put a person in the position of carrying an unwanted pregnancy, they must pay the person $10,000 cash no later than 7 weeks after the conception date or as soon as the person knows they are pregnant, whichever is later. 3) In addition to paying the pregnant person money, the donor need to wear a pregnancy suit either under or on top of their clothes starting at 3 months of pregnancy that weighs 10 pounds, and they must submit regular pictures of them wearing the suit to work, to the gym, to any social gatherings, throughout the week. At least one pic every week at their job and one in their community somehow. Every week after that they must go to the closest unwanted pregnancy stations for sperm-generating people and add an extra pound of weight to their pregnancy suit. The purpose of this suit will be to have them experience a portion of the physical pain a biologically pregnant person experiences during their unwanted pregnancy, as well as the public shaming and constant questioning about what they are going to do about the baby, how the pregnant person is handling the unwanted pregnancy, have they looked into adoption, etc. Edit - if anyone catches them without their pregnancy suit on - even at home and in their bed - they can sue them for $1000 for each instance.
4) When the pregnant person gives birth, the sperm donor has to go to the unwanted pregnancy station for sperm donors, turn in their pregnancy suit, and get punched in the gut 3-5 times and then kicked in the balls. And then every day for the first week they have to go back and get kicked in the balls again.
After this is in place, I suspect the restrictions on abortions will go down. "My personal medical situation, my business."
Our local center is especially icky to me and very closely linked with our church ::barf:: they make the women earn points through training, service etc where they can “buy” things they need that have been donated.
While I believe there is a benefit to education, having their resources completely tied to the orgs predetermined requirements rubs me the wrong way.
There's one in my town affiliated with a local church and I hate it. I see people on the local buy nothing board suggesting that people donate baby gear to the center to "help moms in need!". So maybe they do actually provide some baby clothes/gear to pregnant people. But I checked their website and it is definitely spreading lies and misinformation about abortion. I always want to say something, but I don't want to be targeted.
Same thing happened to me. I was tempted and then I read the mission statement and it was a hard no. So perfectly good baby gear is just languishing in my basement.
I’m sure there’s a women’s/children’s shelter that will happily take it.
Every crisis pregnancy center I know of follow the same playbook of stringing pregnant women along until the window for abortion has passed, and then pushing them toward adoption because they’re “unfit” mothers. It’s gross. They certainly aren’t doing long-term case management or meeting major needs like housing and employment.
They think car seats and diapers are enough for success. They're horrible.
Exactly, and even if they could indeed set up a new mom for the first year or so (which I highly doubt), what happens after that? Children have constant needs. The childcare need is unrelenting. So is the need for food, bigger car seats, medical care, diapers, clothes, beds, etc. etc. It doesn’t stop.
It’s not like, hey, here’s a starter kit, have fun.
ETA: And that’s not even thinking of the woman’s needs — like education and job opportunities, or just stability in general.
ETA2: If you haven’t read the book Maid, it’s worthwhile. I believe it’ll soon be a show on Netflix. Stephanie Land was a single mother who left an abusive relationship and she writes about her struggles. It’s fucking HARD to work the system, and Republicans are doing everything they can to dismantle the safety net.
Highly ironic considering that the exact same people are actively and successfully lobbying to cut or eliminate these resources at every turn. Hypocrisy at its finest.
I totally agree!
Of course, the "right" would say that religious organization, private companies and charities will do this. But I am not sure I ever received a benefit from a religious organization or a charity. I got a $500 scholarship from the rotary club once, so I guess I am set for life!
It’s so circular, isn’t it? On the one hand, the government isn’t supposed to be responsible for providing services so there must be religious and private charities to do that! But when those religious and private charities are established, like crisis pregnancy centers, far and away the most useful things they are able to provide are assistance with enrollment into government programs that can provide real support…
Post by chickadee77 on Sept 8, 2021 15:00:08 GMT -5
Gah my religious righteous sister and her H tried to push these on me when we had issues with one of our (very wanted) pregnancies (we did end up terminating, but sure as hell didn't tell them that). I was like, please, if you have any love in your heart for me, DON'T get me on these crazy people's radars.
That's all I have to contribute that isn't incoherent cursing.
I don’t have much useful to add, except my SIL always asks for donations to a CPC on the anniversary of her miscarriage. And I struggle with “I want to hug you” and “how dare you contribute to these crazies!!”
I think "the resources for single mothers" topic is likely coming from right wing rhetoric to have something to say back to someone who says the right is pro birth but not pro life because they don't support women and children after the birth.
I've never worked with a Crisis Center, so I have no idea. But I think more meaningful resources for those with low incomes are likely government resources such as Wic, Medicaid, Childcare vouchers etc.
Highly ironic considering that the exact same people are actively and successfully lobbying to cut or eliminate these resources at every turn. Hypocrisy at its finest.
I had a conversation like this with a conservative Christian family member. They talked themselves into a corner, and then stopped speaking to me. *shrug*
Texas needs to pass a law that holds sperm donors equally accountable for unwanted pregnancies by doing the following:
1) Requiring all sperm donors to get reversible vasectomies OR take the "male" birth control pill 2) If their birth control fails and they put a person in the position of carrying an unwanted pregnancy, they must pay the person $10,000 cash no later than 7 weeks after the conception date or as soon as the person knows they are pregnant, whichever is later. 3) In addition to paying the pregnant person money, the donor need to wear a pregnancy suit either under or on top of their clothes starting at 3 months of pregnancy that weighs 10 pounds, and they must submit regular pictures of them wearing the suit to work, to the gym, to any social gatherings, throughout the week. At least one pic every week at their job and one in their community somehow. Every week after that they must go to the closest unwanted pregnancy stations for sperm-generating people and add an extra pound of weight to their pregnancy suit. The purpose of this suit will be to have them experience a portion of the physical pain a biologically pregnant person experiences during their unwanted pregnancy, as well as the public shaming and constant questioning about what they are going to do about the baby, how the pregnant person is handling the unwanted pregnancy, have they looked into adoption, etc. Edit - if anyone catches them without their pregnancy suit on - even at home and in their bed - they can sue them for $1000 for each instance.
4) When the pregnant person gives birth, the sperm donor has to go to the unwanted pregnancy station for sperm donors, turn in their pregnancy suit, and get punched in the gut 3-5 times and then kicked in the balls. And then every day for the first week they have to go back and get kicked in the balls again.
After this is in place, I suspect the restrictions on abortions will go down. "My personal medical situation, my business."
edited for gender inclusion
No. This is a horrible take. People getting their rights taken away doesn't mean we have to fight it with other people's rights getting taken away. This type of language stigmatizes further people who get abortions. People who get abortions are also people who have a relationship with the "sperm donor." I do not want my partner to have to get a vasectomy or be on birth control or to be forced to pay "child support" or wear a pregnancy suit. WTF. I swear people have lost their minds when they talk about abortion and are so called "progressives."
And to answer the question about crisis pregnancy centers. No, they are horrible horrible places and there is no amount of "support" and money that would make them "Ok" even if they paid for someone's apartment, their kids college, etc. THEY ARE PURE EVIL AND ABUSE PEOPLE BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY.
And you can give all the fucking car seats to someone you want, but that didn't take away an unwanted pregnancy. I hate these fucking places!
This is where I am. We can debate all day long whether these places help pregnant people. What if the pregnant person doesn’t *want* a baby. No amount of support is going to make someone desire to have a child.
"no one talks about" how many resources there are for single mothers
You know what "no one talks about"? How many married or happily coupled women with children (who already have a bunch of baby gear at home) get abortions. Because they understand exactly what it means to have another child and that it isn't the right answer for their family.
Post by StrawberryBlondie on Sept 8, 2021 16:42:13 GMT -5
There's one near me that I'm sure is awful... but their website does make it pretty clear they don't perform abortions or provide referrals and the information it does have about abortion on its website is fairly neutral and medically accurate.
Texas needs to pass a law that holds sperm donors equally accountable for unwanted pregnancies by doing the following:
1) Requiring all sperm donors to get reversible vasectomies OR take the "male" birth control pill 2) If their birth control fails and they put a person in the position of carrying an unwanted pregnancy, they must pay the person $10,000 cash no later than 7 weeks after the conception date or as soon as the person knows they are pregnant, whichever is later. 3) In addition to paying the pregnant person money, the donor need to wear a pregnancy suit either under or on top of their clothes starting at 3 months of pregnancy that weighs 10 pounds, and they must submit regular pictures of them wearing the suit to work, to the gym, to any social gatherings, throughout the week. At least one pic every week at their job and one in their community somehow. Every week after that they must go to the closest unwanted pregnancy stations for sperm-generating people and add an extra pound of weight to their pregnancy suit. The purpose of this suit will be to have them experience a portion of the physical pain a biologically pregnant person experiences during their unwanted pregnancy, as well as the public shaming and constant questioning about what they are going to do about the baby, how the pregnant person is handling the unwanted pregnancy, have they looked into adoption, etc. Edit - if anyone catches them without their pregnancy suit on - even at home and in their bed - they can sue them for $1000 for each instance.
4) When the pregnant person gives birth, the sperm donor has to go to the unwanted pregnancy station for sperm donors, turn in their pregnancy suit, and get punched in the gut 3-5 times and then kicked in the balls. And then every day for the first week they have to go back and get kicked in the balls again.
After this is in place, I suspect the restrictions on abortions will go down. "My personal medical situation, my business."
edited for gender inclusion
No. This is a horrible take. People getting their rights taken away doesn't mean we have to fight it with other people's rights getting taken away. This type of language stigmatizes further people who get abortions. People who get abortions are also people who have a relationship with the "sperm donor." I do not want my partner to have to get a vasectomy or be on birth control or to be forced to pay "child support" or wear a pregnancy suit. WTF. I swear people have lost their minds when they talk about abortion and are so called "progressives."
And to answer the question about crisis pregnancy centers. No, they are horrible horrible places and there is no amount of "support" and money that would make them "Ok" even if they paid for someone's apartment, their kids college, etc. THEY ARE PURE EVIL AND ABUSE PEOPLE BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY.
Thank you. My fucking god. And when I needed an abortion to expel the remains of my very wanted science baby were they supposed to emotionally and physically shame and abuse our actual sperm donor? Or how about my equally devastated non-binary spouse, for whom wearing any sort of pregnancy suit would cause immense gender dysphoria on top of everything else?
This is not the time for pithy revenge fantasies that tie the issue of abortion access into a simple easy narrative with a tidy little bow.
And you can give all the fucking car seats to someone you want, but that didn't take away an unwanted pregnancy. I hate these fucking places!
This is where I am. We can debate all day long whether these places help pregnant people. What if the pregnant person doesn’t *want* a baby. No amount of support is going to make someone desire to have a child.
Quoting myself because ALSO pregnancy fucking sucks for a lot of people. So while adoption is a very real and valid option for a lot of people who don’t want to or can’t keep a child, that doesn’t mean someone should be forced to go through pregnancy and childbirth.
Post by goldengirlz on Sept 8, 2021 18:35:23 GMT -5
I have a Facebook friend who seems to be convinced that the solution to every abortion ban everywhere is women withholding sex from men. It’s so tone deaf. It reduces sex (and conception) to something women “give” men, and I really hate it.
The solution to every abortion ban is to undo all the abortion bans. It's that simple. Banning abortion does not get rid of the need for abortion. But providing free birth control doesn't stop the need for abortion. Abortion is a safe medical procedure that is needed. Some people need cardiac surgery. Some people need appendectomies. Some people need abortions. End of story.
I wish we lived in a society where decisions regarding pregnancy and parenting could be made irrespective of finances. This whole discussion just makes me sad. No one should be forced to continue an unwanted pregnancy even if their lives are perfect on paper, and no one should feel compelled to terminate what would be a wanted pregnancy if only they could get more workplace accommodations or financial support, etc.