S/O buzz cuts for girls

[expectantsteelerfan]

I forget which poster it was whose dd wanted a buzz cut, but I was wondering, if you have had a buzz cut or know someone who has, is it a concern that people will think you might have cancer?

I was at Target today checking out, and Target is only 5 min. from my house and I grocery shop there along with stopping there for every little thing I need and use their pharmacy, so I've gotten to 'know' a few of the employees and chat with them as I'm checking out.

The woman who was checking me out today is one of the ones I 'know' enough to know that she has 2 daughters who are younger than my kids.  And today she was sporting a new buzz cut.  I was *this* close to telling her how great she looked, and then I had the snap shot of OMG what if she buzzed her hair because it's falling out because she's going through cancer treatment.  I held my tongue as I walked away, and then I agonized internally over whether I should have just said I liked her hair anyway, and it made me think of the thread and how it's a trend now for women to have buzz cuts and how unfair it is that this is one more thing a woman would have to deal with that a man never would.  So I was just curious if this was something that comes up often with this trend?  And would it be impolite to compliment someone's hair if there's even the slightest chance that it wasn't a choice for them to have it buzzed?

[imojoebunny]

I generally go with non-appearance related comments for everyone, as I am a middle aged women, who got a haircut in my driveway today for the first time in 6 months, and have a teenaged daughter who I do not want to think that her appearance is what I value about her. So nice to see you, have you had a good week? and a Thank you go a long way. Just being patient and polite, is what most customer facing workers are looking for these days.

[timorousbeastie]

I was going to say that I had a buzz cut in my early twenties…. But that was because I did have cancer. So, yes, people probably though I had cancer, and they’d be right 😋 I really, really want a buzz cut now; I assume some people would think I was sick again as opposed to it just being a haircut. Having already been through that, I don’t think it would bother me. I also would not have been upset at all when I was sick if someone said they liked how I cut my hair - on the contrary, I probably would have felt pretty good that someone didn’t think I looked sick!

[lightbulbsun]

I buzzed my hair last year, and as far as I know only one person asked if I was sick, and it wasn't to my face. He's coworker asked him about me. It was something I had kind of thought of before shaving my head, but honestly it didn't factor into my decision.

[felicity]

Sept 10, 2021 19:19:37 GMT -5 imojoebunny said:

I generally go with non-appearance related comments for everyone, as I am a middle aged women, who got a haircut in my driveway today for the first time in 6 months, and have a teenaged daughter who I do not want to think that her appearance is what I value about her. So nice to see you, have you had a good week? and a Thank you go a long way. Just being patient and polite, is what most customer facing workers are looking for these days.

I agree with this. I almost never compliment people's appearances because I grew up with a mother who was super focused on appearance and I hated it. She was always commenting on how I looked, and it was always compliments to my face, but she would say negative things about other people so I knew she thought those things about me too.

If someone I know well makes a big change, like going from super long hair to really short, I might ask something like how they like having shorter hair rather than complimenting it, since how they feel about it is what matters, not what I think about it. In this case I would probably not say anything. If it is cancer related she probably doesn't want to talk about it with everyone, and if it's not there is no harm done with keeping silent about it.

[sonrisa]

Sept 10, 2021 19:04:03 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

  And would it be impolite to compliment someone's hair if there's even the slightest chance that it wasn't a choice for them to have it buzzed?

I think a compliment would be lovely - especially if it isn't loaded (not "wow! that's a great change for you! It looks so much better!").