Post by letsgetweird on Sept 14, 2021 10:13:29 GMT -5
I'm struggling every day to understand why my sister in law killed herself. This is the worst pain I've ever felt, even worse than when my dad died. I'm taking another month off work. I've been feeling okay the past few days and I even feel a bit guilty about that.
Post by emilyinchile on Sept 14, 2021 10:31:56 GMT -5
Sending so much love to you all.
Sept 11 is always kind of the precursor to the anniversary of my mom's death because she died 2 months later also in a plane crash in NY (not terrorism but at first obviously that was a fear at the time). It's been slowly hitting me over the past few days that 20 years is a LONG fucking time. This year having a child of my own I also have an extra layer of wishing she could meet him, that I could ask her about parenting and wanting to tell her that things I'm sure she worried about as a parent are things that I absorbed in a really positive way and think she did well. It's not the gut punch of the early grief any more, but I definitely do think about her every single day as PP said, and it's more a dull ache.
On top of that, FIL's brother just passed away, and it's the first real loss for FI and that side of his family, so there's just a lot lately really making me think of my mom and the first days after her death.
Can I grieve someone still alive? My mom has dementia and it’s.. hard. I feel like a Debbie downer a lot because.. she’s l alive. But the woman that’s alive is a shell of the woman she was, and what were left with is a bitter, mean woman most of the time.
Absolutely. My H was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer last year and I am grieving the loss of our life. I am going to be a young widow with a young daughter and thinking about all of the life events he is going to miss with her is devastating. While he is still alive, he's constantly in pain and sick and in many ways my husband is already gone.
Dementia is so terrible and I am sorry that you and your mother are suffering.
k3am, I understand. My Grandma's personality was changed by strokes and dementia. She basically only thought in depressive loops after that, so we couldn't have any sort of conversation anymore. She passed away in 2009, but had been like that since 2003.
I’ve really been missing my mom the last few days. My MIL is here visiting all of a sudden she wants this wonderful, meaningful relationship with the boys without putting forth any of the work. She’s never shown much interest in them, aside from telling them to sit on her lap when they were toddlers. My mom worked hard to grow a relationship with the boys. She would take them out separately each time she came to visit, as do whatever the wanted. DS1 always wanted to go to IHOP and DS2 always convinced her to take him for ice cream and a trip to Target. She would do whatever they wanted to do just to spend time with them, watch a movie or play a game or do a puzzle or read them. So it chaps my ass that MIL thinks she can just add water and become Instant Nana.