Post by mommyatty on Sept 14, 2021 12:15:51 GMT -5
What is something you would generally like to share with the class? Completely open-ended. Can be something we may not know about you, an update, a random, a tip. Whatever.
Post by mommyatty on Sept 14, 2021 13:21:10 GMT -5
I’m on the struggle bus today dealing with past trauma. And I feel really stupid even labeling it trauma, though it is. My mom was/is really mean. Like really emotionally abusive. So my background audio track is basically a “Mom’s Greatest Hits” of how no one likes me or will ever like me, I have no intrinsic value, I’m too fat/stupid/lazy to really be anything. Then I had my last boss, who just did an absolute number on me. I have finally figured out he was the king of gaslighting. The most recent thing with him is he’s pissed off I hired an employee who was leaving the company (he had given notice). He just gave me the shit talk about not stealing his employees. But on the other hand, while I was there, he told me that I was so toxic that no one wanted to work for me, which was simply not true. But Mom’s Greatest Hits made it seem plausible. So I’m having to remind myself that the proof is in the pudding. First, tons of people are calling me, hoping to join my team. And second, only one of us is having to threaten the other over allegedly stealing their people. So if I was so terrible, why does he have to worry his employees would leave where they are to come work for me? I mean, no one in their right mind would do that.
Post by twinmomma on Sept 14, 2021 13:52:30 GMT -5
Sending you hugs mommyatty. Overcoming gaslighting and emotional abuse is the story of my damn life. It's so, so hard to get out of your own head when you've been conditioned to think you're the bad/crazy one. ExH was also the king of that. One thing I've found helpful is for beau to know this about me and have him blatantly call me out on it when I'm engaging in negative self talk or over-apologizing for things. Is there someone you could ask to help you with that?
Along those same lines... The show that beau and I watch together has started having a theme pop up that is really triggering for me. I didn't realize it at first because it was such a rare mention in the show. But the last few episodes it's becoming a more prominent story line piece and I can feel that it's going to come to a head in future episodes. And while I love the show and want to see what happens, I don't know if I can keep watching it with this new piece added in. I can't enjoy a show that gives me panic attack symptoms. But did I discuss this during therapy today? Nope. Sure didn't. Because I still haven't been able to label that trauma and discuss it openly very well, even with my therapist. (See: gaslighting trauma that makes me think I'm over-reacting to a very real thing)
twinmomma, what show? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I was just curious if it was a show I watch also.
My dad is moving to an extended stay motel tomorrow. My sister has about had it up to here with him, but whatever. Still not sure he can totally take care of himself, but I guess we will find out.
mommyatty, I think you know it might be time to stop taking phone calls from former boss (and delete emails unread).
What's new with me? I've been feeling pretty crappy the last 2-3 weeks. Today, I am feeling a bit better. Let's hope the forward progress continues. I am slowly going through doctor appointments for me and the kids, and will likely enter physical therapy soon for my plantar fasciitis, so that's super exciting ha ha, but should be helpful.
I got two 1. I'm horrible at mental math, I still count on my fingers. I'm an accountant 2. DD has been very flighty/fidgety the last 6-9 months but only around me. She doesn't display this behavior anywhere else (I've asked). Is it because we are together so much and she knows it bugs me or is it something else?
Post by twinmomma on Sept 14, 2021 14:08:32 GMT -5
waverly, Billions. It's the kind of show I like, I love the intrigue and the characters and the writing, but it's ramping up some stuff now that is really stressing me out.
186momx, omg your #1 makes me feel so much better about myself. I'm terrible at mental math!
186momx , I also work with math everyday but feel like I have more trouble, like, splitting up the restaurant check than the average person
We're planning to go to Hawaii in a month, with three other families and our babysitter and her husband, during the kids' fall break. We were originally supposed to go last winter. I'd really like to lose 5 pounds before we go, but I'm having trouble modifying my WFH snacking habits. I also realized that I could replace some flooring in my house, which I've wanted to do for a while, with the amount of money I'm spending on the trip. Oh well, hopefully we'll have good memories...
Post by librarychica on Sept 14, 2021 19:45:58 GMT -5
I always had fine math grades but didn’t learn any sort of really effective mental math until my 20s. H taught me while we were dating. H loves math and was shocked I didn’t, like, instinctively group and estimate. He is in charge of math homework now because while I know the mechanics he knows the why or math.
I am starting a mild anti-anxiety medication today. It doubles as a migraine preventative. I need both of these things. I’ve always had migraines but lately I can’t sleep or really control my previously well-controlled anxiety, lack of sleep leads to more migraines, migraines lead to anxiety about my work performance (impacted by said migraines) and family life (same), which leads to … more migraines. It’s been a hell of a couple of years, y’all, and evidently the summer of 2021 turned me into a hot mess. I felt really nervous talking to my doctor, like she was going to tell me to just deal, but now I feel hopeful.
My cousins had a memorial service for their parents who passed away in January and February. We have had a lot of drama with this side of the family, so no one in my family went. My cousin asked why with a thick slathering of guilt, and asked if she’d offended us in some way.
I mean, she’d offended us in many ways, but I didn’t get into it with her. Just apologized, said life was crazy and I couldn’t go.
Another cousin (who has blocked me on Facebook) posted on our family page shaming anyone that didn’t go. My sister sent me screen shots. I very much want to confront her but OMG she is so, so crazy that I’m pretty afraid of her. But I’m angry and I’m sad and I wish she just kept her crazy face shut.
mommyatty I too just got away from a very toxic boss. It's liberating to realize that that person has no more impact on your life. You can just let him spiral and be confident in who you are. I would limit any contact. I still have to take calls, because we are coworkers, but I do not involve her in any projects and refuse any requests to collaborate. I don't want to deal with her, and she makes any job harder, so it's not effective to work with her.