Post by dutchgirl678 on Oct 13, 2021 9:34:36 GMT -5
DD and DS are almost 3 years apart, they are now 10 and 13. First delivery was a bit rough. I got an epi and had to get pitocin and was in labor for quite a while and then I narrowly avoided a CS. With DS I got to the hospital, starting having heavy contractions while walking around for 45 minutes. When I got back to L&D I was at 10cm and they had to rush me to a delivery room where DS was born 17 minutes later. But because of how quick it all went and without meds, I felt a lot better afterwards.
So I've wanted a second kid for a while now, and H just got on board (mostly), which I thought would never happen. So of course now I'm freaking out 😂 These questions are all premature given that I'm not pregnant yet, but my brain is currently on overdrive.
1. First, if you have two kids tell me how awesome it is please 2. Do your kids room share? How did that work? Our house set up is pretty crappy for two kids and I'm trying to figure out how to make it work. We have two bedrooms upstairs and one downstairs. The downstairs bedroom is the guest room, which I'd like to keep. I don't want the kids on a different floor than me either. I'm not sure how to deal with the kids potentially sharing a room especially if kid #2 takes a long time to STTN. 3. If you had a rough delivery for your first kid, how did #2 go? H keeps telling me I should opt for a CS (an option given to me from my Obgyn based on bad tearing). I really don't want a CS though, that freaks me out. 4. Was the time it took to TTC #2 similar to #1?
1- my boys are 20 months apart. the first week was insane and I was questioning everything, but it's awesome now. They are such buddies and it makes my life easier that they can play with each other. 2- they have their own rooms but they actually prefer to sleep together and do most of the time. It wasn't like that from the start though. I do think there would be complications if one child is not sleeping well, but then again millions of people do it every day (night) 3- I had a mildly complicated birth, and second birth was easy as pie. Consult your doctor, not us 4- TTC time was exactly the same
I will read the answers as I am in the same boat: exact same house setup and trying for a second except TW TW I got a BFP this week. It was much faster for us to conceive #2. It took 12+ months to conceive #1. My H had a varicocele and had to have surgery. It took a few months of testing to find out. After the surgery, it took 2 cycles. For #2, I had a BFP first cycle. It ended in a CP though. 2nd cycle and another BFP. I am 39 and my H is 40 FWIW. End TW TW
So I've wanted a second kid for a while now, and H just got on board (mostly), which I thought would never happen. So of course now I'm freaking out 😂 These questions are all premature given that I'm not pregnant yet, but my brain is currently on overdrive.
1. First, if you have two kids tell me how awesome it is please 2. Do your kids room share? How did that work? Our house set up is pretty crappy for two kids and I'm trying to figure out how to make it work. We have two bedrooms upstairs and one downstairs. The downstairs bedroom is the guest room, which I'd like to keep. I don't want the kids on a different floor than me either. I'm not sure how to deal with the kids potentially sharing a room especially if kid #2 takes a long time to STTN. 3. If you had a rough delivery for your first kid, how did #2 go? H keeps telling me I should opt for a CS (an option given to me from my Obgyn based on bad tearing). I really don't want a CS though, that freaks me out. 4. Was the time it took to TTC #2 similar to #1?
1. I love having 2 kids! Everything with DD1 was rough (terrible morning sickness all pregnancy, rough delivery, hard time BFing, etc). We considered being 1 and done because I wasn't sure I could go through another pregnancy. But my desire for a 2nd kid won out and I'm so glad we had DD2. Second pregnancy MS was actually worse, so that was tough. But the delivery and newborn stage were much easier. I pushed for 4.5 hours with DD1 and almost ended up with a CS, with DD2 she was out in 15 mins. The newborn stage is always hard, it is exhausting and even more so when you have an older kid to take care of. But, you actually know what you are doing! I remember being so glad we had a second so that we could appreciate all we had learned as parents from having DD1 (if that makes sense, it is kind of hard to explain). In some ways, having DD2 helped cover up the memories of some of the hardest times I had with DD1. DD2 was a great baby in a lot of ways, but she was also a much worse sleeper than DD1 (we lucked out there). So even though we had different hard times with #2, my memories are still overall positive. And once you get past the newborn part, having 2 kids is *awesome*! I love seeing them interact and how much they love each other. During Covid especially H and I said how glad we are that we had #2. We were so isolated as a family but thank goodness the kids had each other. They are 3.5 years apart, currently 6.5 and 3. They do fight and I often have to play referee, but they also play together really well and entertain each other a lot.
2. Our kids do not share rooms, but I have friends whose do and they make it work. DD1 is a heavy sleeper and she has slept through DD2 crying when we traveled and shared a room preCovid. They'll adjust!
3. Delivery #2 was so much easier, it was shocking. DD1 I was in labor for 2 days and pushed FOREVER. DD2 between when labor started (my water broke) and birth was 5 hours. Recovery was a bit easier since I labored so much less, but the afterpain cramps were stronger which my OB said is normal for subsequent deliveries. I also had more bleeding, but it was manageable, just different.
4. I had DD1 at 36 and DD2 at 39. Both conceived in a few months. I was temping and charting which I definitely think helped.
ETA: I do kind of wish our kids were closer in age. They'll be 4 years apart in school due to an Oct birthday for DD2 which sucks. But I wasn't ready sooner so it is what it is. I'm not sure I could have handled 2 kids under 3 anyway. <shrug>
Who ever really responds here that they regret their second kid or their kid spacing, lol.
Lol, I was considering being this person!
For real though, two kids is rough for me. I'll admit it. We have two boys, 6 and 3. The spacing isn't an issue one way or the other... our older son is just hands down the best big brother. Exceedingly patient and loving and all of that. I mean, sure, moments of squabbling over a toy or rough-housing gone awry, and DS1 is not a perfect angel, but he's pretty great in the big brothering department.
Our 2nd was an easy baby... great sleeper and eater and not fussy. Everything that was hard with DS1 was easy with DS2 in terms of babying. Then DS2 hit toddler years and fucking watch out. He's a real handful plus pepper in some speech delays and sensory issues and it's just a lot. Then DS1 gets an ADHD dx and is having reading issues. Juggling that with autism spectrum testing and special ed testing for DS2. And it's just a very intense time of parenting and juggling all the things. And DH is super hands on and engaged and even with him being a great dad it still feels like I do all the research and decision-making in the kid department.
And having two kids, one of them a wild toddler, during quarantine times has not brought out the best in me as a person or parent.
I was on the fence about having 2 kids TBH, and like the OP's husband kind of came around to it. And I won't say I regret it, bc you can't say that, right? I love DS2 completely and there are for sure moments that I can't imagine life without him because he's hilarious or sweet or just like, chill and not making me want to tear my hair out. But two is a ton of work... I feel like one kid didn't really take over my whole life, but two kind of did. I had a high-stress leadership job that I decided to take a step back from (sort of demoted myself to a staff-level position) after DS2. And that's all good and fine and I'm overall happy with the choices we've made and I see the light at the end of the tunnel... but also, it's a lot.
I'll sit with lessel. My responses would be nearly identical. DD is 10 and DS is 3. We're also dealing with ADHD, maybe ASD, sensory/learning disabilities, extra needs, etc. And, they're just very different people with different developmental needs. We constantly feel as though we're spread too thin or that someone in the house isn't getting what they need. Care of ourselves and our marriage was significantly easier with only one child. H and I also have ADHD so I think the executive functioning tasks of managing the logistics of multiple kids may be harder for us than they are for others. We're tired, but hopeful things will get better if the pandemic ever subsides.
I love both of my children beyond measure. If I'm honest, both of us realized we'd have been fine with just one a little too late. Not regret exactly, but such a weird mix of feelings. Like I might have chosen differently AND feel as though #2 was the greatest blessing. We planned to have kids much closer in age, but life offered something different.
I'll answer your questions below.
1. In spite of the difficulties, witnessing the love between them is pretty incredible. They adore and annoy each other in equal parts.
2. No. We considered it, but separate rooms are better for meeting individual needs. DS has been a high needs baby and DD functions better with her own, quiet space.
3. The first was a long, traumatic induction with like 3 hours of pushing. The second was not induced and easy breezy. 10lb baby delivered with minimal active pushing and no tearing. The OB was amazing and actually guided my hands to deliver DS. It was such a healing experience for H and I.
4. No. Got pregnant with #1 on the first or second cycle. #2 took nearly 4 years with 2 MC and unexplained IF. We had quit actively trying when the pregnancy stuck.
I have 3 girls, 11, 7, 2. Gaps of 4.5 and 4.75 years. Each delivery was easier. My older two currently hate each other 75% of the time but it’s mainly bc the oldest one gets annoyed and can’t let things go. I’ll be honest and admit #3 has put me over the edge. Two was great. One for each parent but we are outnumbered and dd2 is hard, could have adhd, not exactly sure. Dd1 also had a few hard years with anxiety but that is under control now. I don’t regret #3 but for me I am a better mom to 2 kids and am constantly disappointed in myself. It hasn’t helped that dd3 was only 9m old when Covid started and being a working mom now is so hard.
Post by midwestmama on Oct 13, 2021 13:37:44 GMT -5
1. First, if you have two kids tell me how awesome it is please I had always hoped to have 2-3 kids, and I have 2. The vast majority of days, I really enjoy it. I love having 2 kids to love and nurture.
2. Do your kids room share? How did that work? No, they each have their own room and always have.
3. If you had a rough delivery for your first kid, how did #2 go? I was induced and then had an emergency CS with #1 (his head got stuck, I spiked a fever) so for me, I wanted a scheduled CS for #2. Recovery for #2 was much easier than #1. For #1, DH had to help me get out of bed for at least the first week after we got home. With #2, I was able to get out of bed on my own, even in the hospital.
4. Was the time it took to TTC #2 similar to #1? Maybe a couple of months? It took about a year TTC with #1, and then it was almost right away with #2. They are 1.5 years apart.
Post by sandandsea on Oct 13, 2021 13:43:37 GMT -5
1. We have two boys, 9.5 and 5 and it’s amazing and I’m so thankful everyday for DS2. He’s so fun and easy compared to ds1 and ds1 is an amazing big brother. It’s been great for him too, better than we could have hoped for. DS2 has really added to and completed our family in a way we didn’t know we were missing before.
2. They share a room now. When DS2 outgrew his crib they wanted to move into the same room so we bought a bunk bed with a full on bottom and twin on top and so far theyve slept together in the full by choice.
3. I was induced at 40+3 with ds1 due to blood pressure and protein in my urine and had a 12 hour labor. With DS2, I went into labor on my own at 41+1 and had a 22 hour labor. The second was worse recovery wise but I was 35 vs 31 and wasn’t induced and DS2 was a pound bigger so they aren’t really comparable.
4. It took 4 months with ds1 and 1 with DS2. We purposely went off BC to conceive both times.
I've been vocal here in the past about my regret in having kids. If I had a time machine I wouldn't do it or I'd stop at my first. But here we are and I've made my decisions and I will give them the best life possible.
My second child is incredibly difficult and he doesn't have special needs or any diagnoses (probably has ADHD).
I had one sibling that I never really got along with. My ex-H had 4 siblings and had pretty decent relationships with his siblings growing up. My boyfriend is any only child and absolutely LOVED his childhood, never wished to have a sibling.
I just want to say, there is nothing wrong with stopping at one! A lot of people feel pressured to have more than one kid, and if it doesn't feel right, there is no obligation to have another just because you discussed it. I asked about having a second a year or so ago, and just couldn't pull the trigger on it. I had too many doubts, and ultimately decided to stick with one. And she is amazing! I know you said you have always wanted two, but I always envisioned myself with a lot of children. But after questioning it for so long, I realized that it just wasn't right for me and my family to have more. Just trying to give another perspective.
Honestly, I wanted to be happy with one! Life seems much easier with only 1 😂 over the last year I've realized I really want a second, though of course the idea still (obviously) freaks me out too.
Sooo when does this best friend thing happen? Mine are almost 5 and almost 2.5 and fight 90% of the time (mostly the younger antagonizing the older). It’s exhausting.
I just want to say, there is nothing wrong with stopping at one! A lot of people feel pressured to have more than one kid, and if it doesn't feel right, there is no obligation to have another just because you discussed it. I asked about having a second a year or so ago, and just couldn't pull the trigger on it. I had too many doubts, and ultimately decided to stick with one. And she is amazing! I know you said you have always wanted two, but I always envisioned myself with a lot of children. But after questioning it for so long, I realized that it just wasn't right for me and my family to have more. Just trying to give another perspective.
Honestly, I wanted to be happy with one! Life seems much easier with only 1 😂 over the last year I've realized I really want a second, though of course the idea still (obviously) freaks me out too.
We have friends with an only child around DD1’s age and they do SO MUCH STUFF with her (travel, restaurants, activities, etc). We ran into them once at a super fancy $$$ restaurant with the kid and were shocked as we never would have considered bringing our kids there (preCovid too, so she was only 4!!!). H and I talk about how different life would be with one kid. So there are definitely advantages to having just one. But I’m still glad we had our 2. ☺️
I do really like having 2. My oldest was actually my more difficult one with special needs.
But I will say, I got pregnant when DS was 19 months old. That did feel too soon in terms of age gap which was ultimately 27 months. Now it is fine. But back then I was kind of like what did I do? AHHHH? I felt that way probably until they were 4 and 6.
Post by sporklemotion on Oct 13, 2021 17:54:47 GMT -5
1. Overall, I’m happy I have two, and am appreciating it more as they get older and are more independent. They are almost 8 and 6.5, with 18 months between.
Like a few others have said upthread, it has been hard to deal with all of the emotions and fighting, and it was harder than I’d expected, tbh.
2. We thought they’d share, but we gave up a guest room instead. DD1 is a night owl and DD2 took a long time to STTN alone, so this preserved everyone’s sleep (including adults’). I think it also helps that each has their own space— we don’t have a big house, so it’s hard to avoid others in common areas.
3. Both were CS, the second was planned to be one due to spacing and my age.
4. DD2 was not entirely planned, tbh. I had both after 40, so we sort of were OK with whatever happened. We were prepared to have only one, but were hoping for 2.
1) Having two is awesome. My boys are great friends and get along really well for the most part. I am so happy about this because my sister and I were never close growing up and still aren't. One is definitely easier in terms of just general parenting. It's one less kid to drop off/pick up, one less kid to pack a lunch for, etc. But it's kind of impossible to imagine life without our second.
2) My kids do not share a room and never have, so I can't give any advice there.
3) My labor experience with my second did not go as planned and was pretty shitty, honestly. I did have a c-section though, which was planned, and recovery was even easier than the first time (which was pretty easy). I elected for the c-section the second time and I don't regret that choice at all.
4) DS1 took about 4 cycles. DS2 took only 1. He happened very quickly. lol
Going from 1-2 kids was a million times easier than 0-1. Part of it is their personalities. My first was an asshole baby and is still high maintenance, and my second is super sweet and easy. But at 3.5 and 7 now, they mostly play really nicely together and keep themselves entertained. I also really dislike being the primary playmate, so whatever extra work a second kid has been, it’s still easier to me than being 100% my kid’s main person for everything. It’s interesting, because people tend to think that 2nd + kids kinda get the short end of the stick because they never have that constant 1:1 attention, but I honestly think my 2nd kid has had a much fuller life - he has a brother who is a nut and has entertained him from the beginning, and a mom who is more experienced and confident.
The currently share a room by choice, but had separate rooms until the younger one was 3. He went from a crib to bunk beds. I have a sound machine going at full blast, and just have to accept that they sometimes wake each other. This isn’t a huge deal because they don’t usually wake me when they get up, but it would have been harder with a baby. In your case, I’d probably keep the baby in your room for at least a few months, if you can.
Second pregnancy was much easier. Labor and delivery were easier, but experience and speaking up for myself better helped a ton also.
I am due next week with our second, so I can really only answer the last question. I am following though esp for sharing a room, we bought a two bedroom with no plans for kids...
Anyways timing was the same for TTC. First was a total accident that happened after a pull out miscommunication lol. Second we got pregnant the first month trying. I did have a molar pregnancy in between, and I got pregnant immediately with that one too, but then we had to wait over a year to try again because I had to do chemo for it. That is super rare though! I did want kids closer together, but because of that they'll be 3.5 years apart.
Post by tacoflavoredkisses on Oct 14, 2021 6:21:13 GMT -5
1. DD and DS are 4.5 years apart. I definitely have moments where I feel like I was a better parent when it was just DD. But it warms my heart so much to see how much DS loves his sister, and they’re starting to play together a bit now that he’s almost 1.
2. No, our kids do not share a room. I think that would be hard because DS is not a good sleeper and is up several times a night still.
3. I had a failed induction with DD and had a very scary emergency csection when her heart rate dropped so low they thought she was going to die. I chose to schedule a csection with DS and see if I went into labor on my own first. I didn’t, so I had the csection. I’m glad I did because my uterus tore, which could have been very scary if it happened during a VBAC. I also was able to have my other tube removed during the csection for permanent BC.
4. We had a lot of trouble getting DS here. I had an ectopic followed by 2 miscarriages. I was scheduled to do a bunch of testing with an RE when I got a positive test. With DD, I got pregnant pretty quickly and with little trying- like we weren’t paying super close attention to ovulation or anything like that.
1. There is 4 years between DD and DS. She is 6 and he is 2 and she both loves him and dotes on him but also finds him annoying. He loves her a lot and is a super easygoing kid. I found the transition to 2 easy but DH has struggled with it. A lot. He was also hesitant about having a second and although he said he was onboard he developed PPD. It’s still a bit problematic to be honest. COVID complicated things because now we are all home together so much.
2. We don’t room share at home but we do at the cottage. The kids love to sleep together. I also shared with my siblings until the age of 12 so I don’t care too much. I’m sure there were rough nights but I don’t remember them.
3. 3rd degree tear with DD (vacuum assisted rushed birth due to decels). 1st degree tear and natural labour with DS. He was bigger and had a much larger head too.
4. DD conceived in 8 months post BCP with one miscarriage at 6 months. DS conceived in 3 months post IUD removal with one miscarriage the first month.
Sooo when does this best friend thing happen? Mine are almost 5 and almost 2.5 and fight 90% of the time (mostly the younger antagonizing the older). It’s exhausting.
I kind of hate these threads because I was never friends or got along with my sister.
Part of it was her mental health, part of it is we have completely opposite personalities. She passed away back in 2019 and I miss her fiercely, but I don't miss the constant battles or the parental back and forth with her.
This is also why we had one. DH also had a similar childhood with his brother and them never getting along, on top of parental favorites. Thankfully as adults we can just not see them.
Sooo when does this best friend thing happen? Mine are almost 5 and almost 2.5 and fight 90% of the time (mostly the younger antagonizing the older). It’s exhausting.
I kind of hate these threads because I was never friends or got along with my sister.
Part of it was her mental health, part of it is we have completely opposite personalities. She passed away back in 2019 and I miss her fiercely, but I don't miss the constant battles or the parental back and forth with her.
This is also why we had one. DH also had a similar childhood with his brother and them never getting along, on top of parental favorites. Thankfully as adults we can just not see them.
My sister and I are the same and always have been. No mental health issues, but we are just complete opposites and have a lot of conflicting values. I'm happy to have her as a sounding board sometime because we have 2 disfunctional parents and its nice to have someone who "gets it", but I wouldn't say we're friends. Nor were we as kids/teens.
1. It is awesome and exhausting. The best is when they love each other. 2. They do now, but this is recent (they're 6 and 2). We lost the guest room temporarily but now it is back. I don't know about the different floor situation. 3. My first pregnancy and delivery was easy peasy, my second pregnancy and delivery was rough. Personally, if my OB offered a CS due to previous trauma, I would take it. Scheduled CS are so much nicer and calmer than unscheduled. 4. Technically, it was about the same amount of time, but it was definitely more difficult. My first was conceived with our first cycle of IVF. My second needed 2 more IVF cycles and 3 FETs.
ETA: I don't love the spacing, I would have preferred closer. But see my answer to #4. We started trying again when E1 was only 21 months.
lessel, I do feel the same away about my second kid. He was SO EASY as a baby. As soon as he hit like 18 months, he's been a holy terror and asshole. And some speech delays which are mostly gone now (he is now 31 months). I'm just waiting to get through these toddler and preschool years, when E1 got easier.
I will be real surprised if either kid, but E2 especially, don't end up with an ADHD diagnosis eventually. DH and I both have it so having the executive function to manage 2 kids plus our jobs and home and marriage is rough.
However, no regrets on having 2! Just twiddling my thumbs and waiting to get to the more independent stage where E2 is not constantly trying to kill himself or pee everywhere.
I don't have regrets, but adding a second child (almost 6 months ago) to our family has been more challenging than I expected and in ways I did not expect. I was nervous about sleep deprivation, colic, having difficulty finding time to leave the house between nap schedules, etc... but it turns out the baby is actually pretty easy (aside from some allergy issues) and most of those fears were unfounded. sleep deprivation is real though.
The main challenge is that my older child (newly 3) is having a very difficult time adjusting and we're in the thick of juggling two kids with now 2-3x/week therapy schedules, no childcare for the 3 year old (because of behavioral issues) and no local family / support. I often feel split between the conflicting needs of my children. my husband and I are exhausted and in marriage therapy for the first time in our 13 year relationship because this is HARD. at the same time, I do not want to, even momentarily, imagine life without our youngest - he is so sweet and brings so much joy to our family, and he absolutely adores his older brother. and the moments when his older brother shows kindness to him make my heart feel like it might burst.
so it's hard but beautiful. and I'm kind of glad I didn't know how hard it would be with my older son, or I might not have done it. and then I would have missed out on this.
for things like room sharing it's great to have a plan but you also might surprise yourself by your flexibility. I wanted my kids to share too once we moved our youngest out of your room so we could keep our guest room. unfortunately, it's a safety concern so now the boys are in separate rooms and we don't have a guest room at the moment. but hopefully we will again one day and that's fine. priorities will shift if they need to-- when you meet this new person and the rest of your family adjusts to the change.
1) No regrets, I absolutely love our daughter (3.5). She is very different from her brother (6.5), though, and is much more challenging. I feel a little bad for my son because she can be such a PITA to him, but they do also really enjoy playing together sometimes and get along a lot of the time. 3y2m gap.
2) They shared a room half time last year as MIL came to stay to provide childcare. DD loved it, DS loved it sometimes but also was really annoyed by DD sometimes. It would be ok if we needed to do it full time, but I'm glad they usually have their own rooms.
3) Similar deliveries (overall pretty good) and recoveries.
4) We were lucky and didn't have trouble conceiving either.
So I've wanted a second kid for a while now, and H just got on board (mostly), which I thought would never happen. So of course now I'm freaking out 😂 These questions are all premature given that I'm not pregnant yet, but my brain is currently on overdrive.
1. First, if you have two kids tell me how awesome it is please 2. Do your kids room share? How did that work? Our house set up is pretty crappy for two kids and I'm trying to figure out how to make it work. We have two bedrooms upstairs and one downstairs. The downstairs bedroom is the guest room, which I'd like to keep. I don't want the kids on a different floor than me either. I'm not sure how to deal with the kids potentially sharing a room especially if kid #2 takes a long time to STTN. 3. If you had a rough delivery for your first kid, how did #2 go? H keeps telling me I should opt for a CS (an option given to me from my Obgyn based on bad tearing). I really don't want a CS though, that freaks me out. 4. Was the time it took to TTC #2 similar to #1?
1. It's so awesome, sometimes. The pictures are so cute! Assuming I can get them both to look at the camera. No really, they have their awesome and less awesome moments together. 2. I tried to have them room share at age 1 & 5. It didn't really work out well long term because the older one had to go to bed by a strict time for school. If I tried to take the younger one to bed at the same time, he just played and annoyed big sis and kept her awake. 3. Team CS for both. I have never felt a contraction or experienced labor. I had easy healing post-CS so I'm a fan. 4. I have many problems but TTC was not one. DD was a surprise and DS took 1 month longer than I expected.
Post by ellipses84 on Oct 14, 2021 15:02:40 GMT -5
1. It’s awesome! We always wanted more, but life got in the way and we honestly considered not TTC again. DH was more hesitant than me, but we decided to go for it and agreed we wouldn’t try after a certain point. We have both talked about how glad we are we had another baby. 2. Do your kids room share? DS2 was basically in our bedroom until he was 1.5 (he had his own room but never used it 😆), then the boys shared a room until he was 4.5 and now they have their own rooms again. My 10 year old is glad because he can stay up later reading, but DS2 would rather still share. He says his room is scary/ lonely by himself. They were on a good routine so I wouldn’t say it was any more difficult than separate rooms. It was nice to do bedtime together. 3. Not rough but fast, and DS2 was even faster. 4. Very similar.
So I've wanted a second kid for a while now, and H just got on board (mostly), which I thought would never happen. So of course now I'm freaking out 😂 These questions are all premature given that I'm not pregnant yet, but my brain is currently on overdrive.
1. First, if you have two kids tell me how awesome it is please 2. Do your kids room share? How did that work? Our house set up is pretty crappy for two kids and I'm trying to figure out how to make it work. We have two bedrooms upstairs and one downstairs. The downstairs bedroom is the guest room, which I'd like to keep. I don't want the kids on a different floor than me either. I'm not sure how to deal with the kids potentially sharing a room especially if kid #2 takes a long time to STTN. 3. If you had a rough delivery for your first kid, how did #2 go? H keeps telling me I should opt for a CS (an option given to me from my Obgyn based on bad tearing). I really don't want a CS though, that freaks me out. 4. Was the time it took to TTC #2 similar to #1?
1. Things can get hectic and they fight, but they also love each other and I love watching both of them develop and what's similar and what's different.
2. A was in our room until she was better about STTN. Then they room shared for a while. They went to bed at about the same time. It was fine until E got in the habit of constantly coming out of his room and keeping her awake, so we finally cleaned up the 3rd bedroom and made it his.
3. Recovery with E sucked. I had a 3rd degree year, all sorts of hormonal issues, etc. I went into labor naturally with him, pretty close to his due date. Vaginal delivery. With A, I was induced due to high blood pressure 2 weeks before her due date. Labor took forever (3 days) because I started with no dilation and not even close to being ready. Recovery with her was actually easier. I had a 2nd degree tear, and none of the hormonal issues. I have no idea if being induced made a difference or what.
4. It took us about a year (11 cycles of actual trying) for E. Took 4 cycles for A. 🤷♀️
Sooo when does this best friend thing happen? Mine are almost 5 and almost 2.5 and fight 90% of the time (mostly the younger antagonizing the older). It’s exhausting.
I kind of hate these threads because I was never friends or got along with my sister.
Part of it was her mental health, part of it is we have completely opposite personalities. She passed away back in 2019 and I miss her fiercely, but I don't miss the constant battles or the parental back and forth with her.
This is also why we had one. DH also had a similar childhood with his brother and them never getting along, on top of parental favorites. Thankfully as adults we can just not see them.
My brother is practically a stranger. We are opposites, and when I look at our childhood, all I remember is him terrorizing and fighting with me.