Post by BlondeSpiders on Nov 1, 2021 19:17:15 GMT -5
In some ways I feel like I've "made it." But that's thanks to my partner's salary, pretty much.
I grew up UMC, in a rural area. That means horses, but not riding lessons. My parents were terrified of spoiling me so even though we were very comfortable, my mom made a show of denying me things I wanted to ensure I wouldn't become a spoiled brat. Did it work? Who knows.
When I was a kid/teen, living rich meant:
- refrigerator with ice/water dispenser - buying a new car from a legit dealership (I always had beaters that broke down) - flying first class - vacations that weren't camping or visiting family - a master bathroom
My parents split when I was 17, and that's when I learned what being poor was like. I think my mom got a year of child support that was roughly $150/month. We went from a large house and acreage to sharing a 350 sq foot 2bd 1 ba house with a roommate (who was thankfully gone all the time.) It hit home for me when we could not afford the jersey and gear to play powderpuff football my senior year.
I moved out a few years later and worked a bunch of low paying retail and cooking jobs and was constantly on the verge of eviction pretty much my entire 20's. I remember many nights laying awake trying to figure out how I could afford a new transmission, or being broke right after payday because everything went to rent or bills. One summer I lived mostly on baked potatoes, lettuce and ranch dressing. I bought gas $5 or $10 at a time, and couldn't even fathom filling up the tank at one time. My highest paying job was $15/hour in 2015. That year I started school and got a business degree. I now have an entry level office job, but it pays well and I'm happy.
My partner makes good money and has slowly introduced me to some aspects of finer living. We'll do VIP options here and there, and we book first class when it doesn't double the ticket price. I bought my first home at age 47 last October, and while it's not a mansion, it's nice enough for me that I feel I've made it. Not only does it have a master bathroom with TWO sinks, but it actually has a walk-in closet. I NEVER thought I'd be able to have this in my lifetime; I feel like the goddamned Queen.
At this point in my life, living rich means:
- vacation home (not a timeshare) - tropical vacations for the holidays - housekeeper/weekly cleaning service - RV and a place to park it
It would appear that vacations are a big part of my goals...lol
Rich life = health and time. Being able to not worry about medical expenses, including travel for medical appointments out of state (although not first class. Lol)
Agree with gummybear - my time is so much more valuable now, if it doesn’t make me happy, I don’t do it. And I’m ok with it.
I knew I was rich when I stopped thinking about how much things cost. That doesn’t mean I can splash out on whatever luxury item or experience I want, but it does mean I can go into a supermarket, buy groceries, pay the bill and not have the slightest idea how much I just spent. It actually scared me at first when I realized that I couldn’t even begin to guess how much our electrical bill is, how much I spent on our last restaurant meal or what we paid for our last vacation.
It’s so freeing to be able to say “yes” to things without having to think about the budget.
But I do think about what that means in terms of raising DD. She’s spoiled in ways she couldn’t even begin to appreciate and I do wonder at what point it’s too much.
Yes, I was going to say something similar. My earliest "hey look Ma I made it" moment was when I went grocery shopping without adding up on a calculator as I went through the store to make sure I didn't go over.
When I think about the phrase "a rich life" it never occurred to me that we were talking about being materially rich.
Lol, this was covered!
Right. Even if the phrase doesn’t mean “money” to you (it doesn’t to me either) the OP makes the point of the post clear. You Clarences can all go jump off a bridge lol.
Right. Even if the phrase doesn’t mean “money” to you (it doesn’t to me either) the OP makes the point of the post clear. You Clarences can all go jump off a bridge lol.
I find true joy when giving the literal shirt from my back to orphaned opossums. You just can't put a price on that.
Buying tickets to any (at the very least, local) concert I want to go to. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked myself out of concert tickets due to price, and then the day of the show rolls around and I’m supremely jealous of everyone who is going.
Putting word choice aside (I wonder if he is deliberately misusing the idiom for effect or if English is a second language and it's inadvertent).
Why would you think English is his second language?
Because he built a core concept of his book, on something he is supposed have expertise, by misusing a common idiom? I would wonder the same about any chef who gave a talk on "rich foods" when they meant expensive foods, rather than the idiomatic use of "rich food" to mean a certain high fat/heavy/dense/flavorful combo that has nothing to do with the cost.
Some people can use the term "rich life" as a two faced compliment. I don't assume he meant it that way.
Oh wait! I finally thought of my actual answer. I knew we had a rich life when our time was more valuable than our money.
This one really resonates with me. Several years back before we were married we were having family over. I went to buy shrimp to make shrimp cocktail and it was $3 cheaper per pound to buy raw than cooked and peeled. I went the cheaper route and then when it took me for-freaking-ever to peel and clean the shrimp I realized my time was worth way more than the $6 I saved.
I think that’s true with so many things now, basically outsourcing things like cleaning, lawn care, etc. my time is worth more than what I pay for these things.
Growing up, we were not poor, but I know my mom struggled to give us everything we had. When Skidz and Z Cavariccis were thing, my brothers and I shared because my Mom could only afford to buy one.
I think I have mentioned this before, but when I was growing up, someone gave us something in a Gap bag. I remember asking my mom what "Gap" was, and she told me "it's where rich people shop."
I very much remember the first sweater I ever bought from Gap (in high school, with my own money), and I kept that thing for easily 15 years. I had made it! I was rich! LOL.
I grew up pretty poor, so just going on a yearly vacation (even just driving distance, like to the jersey shore) is much "richer" than the way I grew up.
For a while I had house cleaners and I felt so rich that I was semi-embarrassed. I know that is a normal expense for a lot of people, but H and I both come from families where we ARE the housecleaners, not the ones paying them, so it felt really uncomfortable.
I would love to fly first class some day. That seems pretty baller.
This resonates with me. I grew up poor enough that a lot of the things I started out in adulthood thinking were markers of a “rich life” no longer feel as luxurious or out of reach to me as they did when I was younger. For example, owning a house or taking a vacation that includes airfare.
My current list: Owning a home with more than one bathroom (in progress) Not paying attention to what we are ordering or the price when we eat out Being able to have at least one nice family vacation every year Owning nice furniture that we love and picked out rather than getting second hand or from IKEA etc.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Nov 1, 2021 20:20:32 GMT -5
For us it's definitely time being more valuable than money.
Some specifics-
When I was a kid: A car that ran well enough that you weren't constantly panicking that it was breaking down or how to pay for the repair A vacation that wasn't camping My own bedroom Clothes that were cool. Very low bar. Nikes from pennies, the cheapest Nikes that existed, were extremely cool Eating at Applebee's at all (let alone getting pop or an appetizer or dessert)
As I started working in HS and my parents made financial progress, I had all of those things.
Now as an adult: Getting a babysitter when we wanted Concert tickets Not budgeting at the grocery store Buy mall clothes at full price rather than going straight to the sales rack Housecleaning When stuff breaks down just hiring someone to fix it Vacations On said vacation, buying the plane ticket for the flight time we want and not the absolute cheapest ticket
My eyes have rolled all the way out of my head with how hard some people are trying to demonstrate how un-materialistic they are lol
I feel like those posts are coming from people already wearing Rothy’s, if you know what I mean. Lol.
Ha, totally. IDK if I was one of them (probably) but I'm plenty materialistic and wear Rothys. But they are exactly at my price point of luxury - they are much more expensive than anything I ever owned as a kid or thought I'd spend on shoes, but they aren't exactly Louboutins either. I don't really strive to keep upgrading my stuff just because I can, KWIM? I think that's a common sentiment. (also I currently can't afford Louboutins anyway!)
A few other things I never would have dreamed of before that I have now and make me feel rich: - housecleaners (maybe I'd really be rich if they came weekly or multiple times a week!) - mostly having groceries delivered instead of shopping myself (maybe someday we'll get them from Whole Foods instead of Aldi?) - Buying clothes through Stitch Fix, I used to never spend anything close to $40 on a shirt but here we are - regularly ordering meal delivery kits
I guess the next level of rich I'd aspire to would be to have someone else to cook for me or do landscaping/yardwork. Or painting the interior of our house. We do hire out most other home improvement stuff because we are not handy nor am I patient. But as of now I still prefer to do the painting and yard stuff because I am reasonably competent at it and don't want to spend the money.
Because he built a core concept of his book, on something he is supposed have expertise, by misusing a common idiom? I would wonder the same about any chef who gave a talk on "rich foods" when they meant expensive foods, rather than the idiomatic use of "rich food" to mean a certain high fat/heavy/dense/flavorful combo that has nothing to do with the cost.
Some people can use the term "rich life" as a two faced compliment. I don't assume he meant it that way.
His book is titled I Will Teach You To Be Rich! I guess people are thrown off by the way OPs title is worded? It’s pretty clear by his title that ‘rich life’ is monetary. Why are we still talking about this? Lol
ETA: He was born and raised in California
Okay. Perhaps he did it to be provocative - or he is one of those many money guys who conflate the two, lol.
THIS! My H orders the freaking SPECIAL. Look buddy that dinner is always, at least in our case, so over priced. Why?! It drives me crazy.
So I guess him ordering the special and me not thinking I'm never going out with this joker again would be an example of a rich life. I know I sound ridiculous.
LOL I get this!
Whenever I am at a place with a prix fixe menu or some sort of a tasting menu, my thought is to maximize it by choosing pricier items like seafood and the fanciest dessert and am always taken aback by someone I’m with choosing the cheapest items like roast chicken and a scoop of ice cream. Why are you spending $35 for chicken when you could get the crab??
OMG YES! I think eating out without strategic thinking would be real wealth. I don't know at what income level I'd need to be to let that thought process go though... I've never realized how that's just who I am I guess.
Post by newnamesameperson on Nov 1, 2021 20:53:45 GMT -5
BOOK FAIR MONEY is so mind blowing to me. My kid came home with a request for $100s worth of books. If she'd mentioned it to her grandparents she'd have gotten it too. We compromised and I spent A LOT.
There was no effing way as a kid I'd have more than $5 to take to buy books. I'd always wondered what it must be like to get any book you wanted.
I would also like to add - having a savings account. I’ve never had one up until several years ago. It’s not a robust savings by any means, but we have money in the bank. We have savings accounts with a purpose, so that we can pay cash for vacations, home repairs, auto repairs, and Christmas, and we also have general savings for emergencies like when my H needed dental work. We’d still need to rely on credit if we had a big expense, like in excess of several thousand dollars, but we are in a place where we have the means to do that as well. We are striving to be debt free by the end of 2023 (except for our house) and then we’ll finally be in a place to save that 6 month cushion I always hear about.
I feel like those posts are coming from people already wearing Rothy’s, if you know what I mean. Lol.
Ha, totally. IDK if I was one of them (probably) but I'm plenty materialistic and wear Rothys. But they are exactly at my price point of luxury - they are much more expensive than anything I ever owned as a kid or thought I'd spend on shoes, but they aren't exactly Louboutins either. I don't really strive to keep upgrading my stuff just because I can, KWIM? I think that's a common sentiment. (also I currently can't afford Louboutins anyway!)
A few other things I never would have dreamed of before that I have now and make me feel rich: - housecleaners (maybe I'd really be rich if they came weekly or multiple times a week!) - mostly having groceries delivered instead of shopping myself (maybe someday we'll get them from Whole Foods instead of Aldi?) - Buying clothes through Stitch Fix, I used to never spend anything close to $40 on a shirt but here we are - regularly ordering meal delivery kits
I guess the next level of rich I'd aspire to would be to have someone else to cook for me or do landscaping/yardwork. Or painting the interior of our house. We do hire out most other home improvement stuff because we are not handy nor am I patient. But as of now I still prefer to do the painting and yard stuff because I am reasonably competent at it and don't want to spend the money.
I was the one who said 4 kids was rich definition, so this was probably aimed at me. Most of my clothes and shoes are from Target except my running shoes I spend money on silly things but clothes and purses just aren’t something I feel like are worth a lot more money. That’s why I think these posts are super interesting - there are a lot of people who are obviously very comfortable who prioritize wildly different stuff.
When I think of a rich life I think of having my animals well taken care of and spending time with them. Enjoying my job and being at peace with myself and my relationships.
An actual rich life that I would love to achieve- Buy land for my animals to run and play Build a house/ buy a newer house/ buy an updated house on said land
His book is titled I Will Teach You To Be Rich! I guess people are thrown off by the way OPs title is worded? It’s pretty clear by his title that ‘rich life’ is monetary. Why are we still talking about this? Lol
ETA: He was born and raised in California
Okay. Perhaps he did it to be provocative - or he is one of those many money guys who conflate the two, lol.
Why is saying, I Will Teach You To Be Rich provocative? As if we all must hide the fact that we would like to have a little more money tucked away for all of the things mentioned in this post. I don’t know that is provocative as much as it as it is human nature. Maybe I am misunderstanding what you're saying.
Okay. Perhaps he did it to be provocative - or he is one of those many money guys who conflate the two, lol.
Why is saying, I Will Teach You To Be Rich provocative? As if we all must hide the fact that we would like to have a little more money tucked away for all of the things mentioned in this post. I don’t know that is provocative as much as it as it is human nature. Maybe I am misunderstanding what you're saying.
I think the provocative part is using the phrase "rich life" to talk about money, when that's not how that phrase is typically used.
It seems easy to downplay the worth of something if you have always had it or done it before, like flying first class. Been there, done that. Whereas if you have never done it, whether for work or anything else it may still be desireable. I have never flown first class and if I am taking a 10 hour long flight, I certainly would feel rich if I could bump it up to first class for comfort for the next 10 hours!
These are all so relative to our experiences growing up. But I remember in my mid to even late 20's, feeling rich was not getting incessant low balance notices from my bank the day or two before payday, knowing I had plenty of cushion to get me through.
The whole idea of “wasting” money is pretty subjective too. No one likes to “waste” money.
But here’s an example. We were on vacation and DD decided that she wanted pineapple juice. It cost $11, which seemed insane, but finally I was like whatever, we’re on vacation, what’s another $11 on top of a $200+ meal?
So we let her order it and it comes in a GIANT pineapple that was twice the size of her head. We’re still laughing about it years later. We also have some cute photos. I’m not sure I can really say I regret my choices there. 😀
I “waste” a lot of money, but it brings me happiness!
I’m living it. I’m certainly not Oprah rich but I buy and do what I want.
In the spirit of this post though, I can remember looking at a tank top at Lucky Brand about 20 years ago and just buying it without looking at the price. After, I marveled at the fact I was able to do that and not worry about paying my rent. I felt very rich in that moment.
As a kid my idea of rich was: having new clothes and not hand me downs or thrift store, owning a house (LCOL area), not having to eat pancakes for dinner the last week of the month, being able to buy an ala carte salad for school lunch, consistently having a running car, never having your electricity turned off, having a landline telephone, going to college
I feel like I now have a rich life. At least one international vacation a year, not freaking out over unexpected expenses and repairs, dinners out whenever I'd like, buying what I want at the grocery store including pre-cut fruit and veggies, regular massage. Of course there could always be more luxurious vacations and dinners but I don't know if that would make me happier. I would try to find out if I ever won the lottery.
I relate to gummybear, I used to have a lot of guilt about spending money, especially for "frivolous" items. I was worried about security. Over time I was able to see retirement and other savings grow and realized I could spend money while still being secure. As others have mentioned, you never know what the future holds so I try to strike a balance between being ready for retirement and living my best life now.
When I was a kid, Pizza Hut was my version of a nice restaurant (remember when they had actual plates, red cups and a salad bar?), and we typically only went there because of Book-it. I still remember the day my mom spent $200 on me and my sister buying NEW back-to-school clothes.
Now, we're very comfortable, but for me "rich" would be: --paying for my kids' college without loans --my student loans paid off --no mortgage --buying an actual new car, not a preowned, if I wanted one --not feeling guilty about ordering take-out
I have never lived in a house. Townhouse, condo, apartment but never a house. That seems like a rich person thing. But it we have money so I can’t complain.