Rethinking finances to cover private school

[lessel]

So, tbh, we don't really have a 'budget,' and that's probably the first problem... but basically, we're facing a large shift in our finances this coming school year. DS1 (7) has ADHD and dyslexia and we're strongly considering private school. One school we're considering is 24k, another is $34k. (Both will have extra costs too--uniforms, aftercare or bus, etc.) This is in addition to our 3yo in preschool ($1300/mo). The more expensive school is a school that focuses on remediation and transition back to traditional school--so maybe a shorter-term higher cost. The less expensive school is more of a forever school (could transition back to public obviously if we feel like he would be ready). We will likely get some state scholarship funding for this, but I won't know the amount until July... I'm guessing maybe $5-6k based on talking to others, but we just don't know so I feel like we need to make this decision expecting to fully fund it. 

We have an appointment with a financial advisor later this week to start getting our shit together about this. But I'm just kind of wondering, if this is something you were facing, where would you look for the $$? More of a theoretical exercise (or maybe one from your previous experience?) vs. me posting my exact budget with a bunch of #s since we're already going to go through that with the advisor.

Just some general info on our finances... Generally I think we can cut back spending on just "stuff"--but we don't eat out much anymore (yet food costs are still 😱 these days). H (42) is probably ahead on his retirement contributions (maybe like 5-6x his salary). I'm probably a bit behind. I think I have around 2x my salary (I'm 39). (I make about 2x what H makes.) Both very stable jobs/fields. We have some $ in 529s and monthly contributions, (like 12-14k per kid and 100/mo) but we're probably behind on that too. We have one car payment (will be paid off early next year)... we try to have one car payment at a time, so we're planning on getting a new car for DH sometime next year. We have a 20y mortgage (refi'ed last year) at 1.99 rate.

I generally don't really feel like we're big spenders or big savers either way really, but I just can't really figure out where I can trim spending to get these kinds of $$ figures. We do have lawn service and house cleaning service that we can potentially cut. Kids are in gymnastics, which we could cut too... DS1 is doing private tutoring, which we would likely cut. It just doesn't add up to even half of what we'd need.

We're kind of in a crunch time because we're probably going to have to make the decision and commit this week (or next at the latest). And I'm not sure we'll have figured out all the financial stuff by then. 🙃

[hocus2]

So we had to consider this and one of the main options we talked about briefly was simply downsizing our housing costs. It wasn't something we wanted to do and our home suits us very well but we did at least toy with the idea of renting it and/or selling it and moving someplace much smaller. Aside from that you just have keep shaving shaving until you get what you need.

Have you consulted with a lawyer about getting your school district to partially or fully cover the costs of what you're considering? There is federal law that would be your basis for such a claim. I've done it and it was exhausting but the last 3 years were covered by the district.

[lessel]

Apr 26, 2022 14:03:57 GMT -5 hocus2 said:

So we had to consider this and one of the main options we talked about briefly was simply downsizing our housing costs. It wasn't something we wanted to do and our home suits us very well but we did at least toy with the idea of renting it and/or selling it and moving someplace much smaller. Aside from that you just have keep shaving shaving until you get what you need.

Have you consulted with a lawyer about getting your school district to partially or fully cover the costs of what you're considering? There is federal law that would be your basis for such a claim. I've done it and it was exhausting but the last 3 years were covered by the district.

Housing is something that we've looked at as a potential option. We moved to where we currently are for schools and, well, that's not going so well. The costs of housing have skyrocketed around us... to truly downsize we would have to move in the opposite direction of both of these schools, which would seriously complicate getting him there. The cheaper school has a private bus that picks up 10 minutes from us (the school itself is a 45-minute drive away). We would look at carpools for the more expensive school (30-minute drive away). Moving in that direction would increase our housing costs like whoa. Plus, the interest rates are more than double what we're at now so that's just a head-scratcher for me. 

We're in GA, so we stand to get SB-10 funds... but again, won't know how much until July. PDQ [redacted some details].

[clairebear]

I would suggest getting together actual numbers and making a budget. Track your spending for a month to see where all the misc money goes for little things, and then budget all your monthly set expenses. See if you can make it work with your current spending habits and if not, how much do you need to cut back to be able to afford the tuition?

I would cut back on college savings for the kids (there are a ton of scholarships out there) and to me, their education now takes priority over a college education. You have a killer interest rate and I can't imagine you being able to saving any on housing without dramatically downgrading your quality of life. Can you not buy a new car for H and just have him keep his current one? I would try to keep your retirement savings at 10% of income (or whatever you need to do to stay on track). If you track all the little misc spending you can probably cut a ton. Multiple treaming services, eating out, take out, clothes, random stuff for the house etc. I shop at thrift stores for clothes, Aldi for groceries, and meal planning to avoid impulse buys and take out is super helpful.

[orval]

I may not be thinking correctly, but I think you can use his 529 for private school not just college. That may help to get you through the short term school.

ETA - You can.  thecollegeinvestor.com/21959/529-plan-private-school/

[hocus2]

Apr 26, 2022 14:22:28 GMT -5 lessel said:

Apr 26, 2022 14:03:57 GMT -5 hocus2 said:

So we had to consider this and one of the main options we talked about briefly was simply downsizing our housing costs. It wasn't something we wanted to do and our home suits us very well but we did at least toy with the idea of renting it and/or selling it and moving someplace much smaller. Aside from that you just have keep shaving shaving until you get what you need.

Have you consulted with a lawyer about getting your school district to partially or fully cover the costs of what you're considering? There is federal law that would be your basis for such a claim. I've done it and it was exhausting but the last 3 years were covered by the district.

We're in GA, so we stand to get SB-10 funds...

Not sure what SB-10 funds are but maybe google FAPE GA and see what pops up. Schools often violate your FAPE rights but most families just don't have the time to properly fight it.


FWIW I knew we needed to leave our district in fall of second because my kid was loosing skills he'd learned in a summer intensive. We applied found a private spot at a specialty school  and left in 3rd. We worked with a lawyer to compel the district to cover our tuition. Took about a year to work its way through the processes.

[lessel]

Apr 26, 2022 14:41:10 GMT -5 clairebear said:

I would suggest getting together actual numbers and making a budget. Track your spending for a month to see where all the misc money goes for little things, and then budget all your monthly set expenses. See if you can make it work with your current spending habits and if not, how much do you need to cut back to be able to afford the tuition?

I would cut back on college savings for the kids (there are a ton of scholarships out there) and to me, their education now takes priority over a college education. You have a killer interest rate and I can't imagine you being able to saving any on housing without dramatically downgrading your quality of life. Can you not buy a new car for H and just have him keep his current one? I would try to keep your retirement savings at 10% of income (or whatever you need to do to stay on track). If you track all the little misc spending you can probably cut a ton. Multiple streaming services, eating out, take out, clothes, random stuff for the house etc. I shop at thrift stores for clothes, Aldi for groceries, and meal planning to avoid impulse buys and take out is super helpful.

Yes, 100% am doing this now. I'm getting a spreadsheet ready for when we meet with the financial advisor folks with everything I can think of. Do you have a suggestion on any programs or apps to do this doe misc expenses? I used Mint eons ago and didn't stick with it. When I look at the spending analysis stuff on our back account or Amex, I feel like it's hard to categorize stuff. Like if we make a $300 purchase at Costco--most of that is probably groceries, but maybe $50 was clothes or something else random. It's hard for me to label everything correctly, so I kind of give up.

We do meal planning and meal prep. I had weight loss surgery in October, so that's kind of refocused our grocery spending and planning. Thrift stores is a good idea, especially for my clothes. I don't have a large wardrobe at all, but most of it is getting donated bit by bit lately. I WFH full time now, so I don't have much in terms of clothing spending needs, although I've had to buy some stuff lately since I've gone down a few sizes... but mostly that's Old Navy stretchy pants or Target t-shirts. Not $$$.

I do think we can cut Hulu and AppleTV... those are the two we use the least. Netflix we use a lot and so do the kids. We have a 3/year Disney+ subscription, so there's no $ going out for that for the next year or so. HBO is free with our cell phone plan. Cell phone is $130/mo and internet is $70... those don't seem too bad, right? 

Oh, and yeah, we can try to not buy a car for H... He's had some engine and transmission issues recently that we've already shelved out $$$ for, so hopefully we're ok there for a bit. We can definitely put that on hold as long as we can.

[lessel]

Apr 26, 2022 15:04:00 GMT -5 hocus2 said:

Apr 26, 2022 14:22:28 GMT -5 lessel said:

We're in GA, so we stand to get SB-10 funds...

Not sure what SB-10 funds are but maybe google FAPE GA and see what pops up. Schools often violate your FAPE rights but most families just don't have the time to properly fight it.


FWIW I knew we needed to leave our district in fall of second because my kid was loosing skills he'd learned in a summer intensive. We applied found a private spot at a specialty school  and left in 3rd. We worked with a lawyer to compel the district to cover our tuition. Took about a year to work its way through the processes.

PDQ but yes, this is similar to where we are [redacted some details]. There's a whole novel I could type about this whole stupid process.

[penguingrrl]

Look into GA special education laws. We’re in the process of having our 12 year old moved to an Out of District placement at our school district’s expense due to trauma associated with the school. It’s been a process and we were just on the verge of hiring a lawyer when the head of our Child Study Team agreed to send her transcripts.

FWIW, the schools we’re looking at are $70K a year and we won’t be paying a penny, including transportation, as they’re certified through the state of NJ as therapeutic school settings (she has recently been diagnosed with autism and also has selective mutism, severe anxiety, and agoraphobia). We also moved where we are for the schools, but they aren’t meeting her needs.

[MDmomof2]

Reading your PDQ is making me so mad for you! It truly sounds like getting him into another educational setting is best for him. However, would you consider doing additional tutoring/reading support at your own cost until he's a bit older and see if the school situation changes? I'm in another state, but a friend had a hard time getting the school to accept an independent diagnosis for her DD until about grade 3. There is such a wide range of normal for young kids with regards to reading that it's hard to get an IEP for dyslexia earlier. Do you think the school would be more cooperative in a few years and could you help bridge the gap for him in the meantime with private tutors?

[hocus2]

Apr 26, 2022 15:43:22 GMT -5 MDmomof2 said:

However, would you consider doing additional tutoring/reading support at your own cost until he's a bit older and see if the school situation changes? I'm in another state, but a friend had a hard time getting the school to accept an independent diagnosis for her DD until about grade 3.
There is such a wide range of normal for young kids with regards to reading that it's hard to get an IEP for dyslexia earlier. Do you think the school would be more cooperative in a few years and could you help bridge the gap for him in the meantime with private tutors?

Sadly private tutoring often works against families as schools will claim credit for the improvements. And reading remediation is most effective when it is as close to daily as possible which is very expensive. 

The research suggests that the earlier you intervene the easier it to actually get your kid to proficient reading. Remediation at 7 is much better then at 10 so while sometimes waiting is the ONLY option because the situation becomes increasingly dire if she has the ability to intervene now it will be better. We were in a better school by 3rd because I knew from my older one how bad it would be to remain for that year. It is very damaging emotionally to be so behind as well. 

[lessel]

Apr 26, 2022 15:43:22 GMT -5 MDmomof2 said:

Reading your PDQ is making me so mad for you! It truly sounds like getting him into another educational setting is best for him. However, would you consider doing additional tutoring/reading support at your own cost until he's a bit older and see if the school situation changes? I'm in another state, but a friend had a hard time getting the school to accept an independent diagnosis for her DD until about grade 3. There is such a wide range of normal for young kids with regards to reading that it's hard to get an IEP for dyslexia earlier. Do you think the school would be more cooperative in a few years and could you help bridge the gap for him in the meantime with private tutors?

We did a “regular” tutor for him last summer and then switched to Orton-Gilliangham tutor in September. Like PP said, some of that work (especially with letter recognition) kind of skewed the scores in his school-based assessment. Which I was kind of whatever about since I wanted to help him soon regardless of that outcome. And the school’s assessment showed enough below average and well below average scores to warrant eligibility for special ed service—even the independent evaluator was like, I’m surprised you’re coming to me, it’s clear from XYZ this is the issue—but that is a whole 4-page letter to the school worth of my bitching that I will spare you.

That said, the private tutor works with him a few hours a week. He is also getting pull-out reading and writing at school every day, but frankly their curriculum sucks for his issues. Taken altogether he’s made excruciatingly little progress since basically November and we need to switch gears.

[lessel]

Thanks, penguingrrl,— liked your post to acknowledge. Hate that you guys have been through what seems like hell but I’m glad you’ve got a way forward.

TBH I’m also considering the “forever” school option because we suspect some issues with DS. We’re doing ASD testing this summer and his psychologist also suspects selective mutism too. It might be a good fit for both the boys for different reasons. And I’d pack up to move to that area of town if I was sitting on a pile of cash. 😐

[penguingrrl]

Apr 26, 2022 17:42:10 GMT -5 lessel said:

Thanks, [mention]penguingrrl [/mention]— liked your post to acknowledge. Hate that you guys have been through what seems like hell but I’m glad you’ve got a way forward.

TBH I’m also considering the “forever” school option because we suspect some issues with DS. We’re doing ASD testing this summer and his psychologist also suspects selective mutism too. It might be a good fit for both the boys for different reasons. And I’d pack up to move to that area of town if I was sitting on a pile of cash. 😐

I’m sorry you’re going through it too. We’re getting our 9 year old evaluated for ASD as well. It’s been a rough ride because pre-pandemic my 12 year old was masking so well her diagnoses were missed and she was a high performing student who didn’t create disruptions (due to the selective mutism). Getting these diagnoses has been a huge help in getting her the help she always needed yet the school missed.

I wouldn’t worry about moving, I would look into your legal protections in GA instead. If you’re on Facebook, you may find a group of parents who can help. I found a “parents of children in NJ out of district schools” group that has given me a lot of information regarding the schools responsibilities.

[goldengirlz]

I’m sorry you’re in this spot. Do you think you might be eligible financial aid? That’s probably your best option.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like you can really afford it, unless you borrow the money from somewhere. Maybe a grandparent?

ETA: People are suggesting using your college savings, but I don’t see how that adds up to $2-3k/month for the next 11 years. It’s basically another mortgage payment. The other option is a BIG move, out of your area, but that may only be possible if your jobs are remote.

[hocus2]

Apr 26, 2022 19:12:19 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

I’m sorry you’re in this spot. Do you think you might be eligible financial aid? That’s probably your best option.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like you can really afford it, unless you borrow the money from somewhere. Maybe a grandparent?

I just can't shake how odd this comment is.

Are you judging the OP for considering something other then her crappy public school that hasn't taught her child to read? Or do you think her parents have 30K PER year to lend/gift them (I would think she would have considered this if it really was an option)? My parents might hypothetically do a one time loan to us in a crisis but they could never do it every year for 4+

It might be that they really can't afford private school but I got the impression that they feel the should be able to do it on paper and just need to figure out the how given that they are currently spending a lot of their incomes. It isn't that uncommon a phenomena that people expand their spending based on income and sometimes need outside perspective to help pull it back.

[goldengirlz]

Apr 26, 2022 19:21:07 GMT -5 hocus2 said:

Apr 26, 2022 19:12:19 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

I’m sorry you’re in this spot. Do you think you might be eligible financial aid? That’s probably your best option.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like you can really afford it, unless you borrow the money from somewhere. Maybe a grandparent?

I just can't shake how odd this comment is.

Are you judging the OP for considering something other then her crappy public school that hasn't taught her child to read? Or do you think her parents have 30K PER year to lend/gift them (I would think she would have considered this if it really was an option)? My parents might hypothetically do a one time loan to us in a crisis but they could never do it every year for 4+

It might be that they really can't afford private school but I got the impression that they feel the should be able to do it on paper and just need to figure out the how given that they are currently spending a lot of their incomes. It isn't that uncommon a phenomena that people expand their spending based on income and sometimes need outside perspective to help pull it back.

How is what I said judgment?

It’s objectively a fuckton of money to commit to. It’s like buying a second home. I think she should try to work with the schools to secure a financial aid package.

And I sincerely wish her well and hope she squeezes every cent she can out of the district.

ETA: OP, I’m sorry if I sounded dismissive. I have two special needs nephews and I can appreciate how stressful this must be. To get those amounts you’d need to cut the big ticket items like travel, which is one thing you didn’t mention. It’s not going to come from $100 here and $100 there — or at least, if that’s the Hail Mary to make the numbers work, I worry you’ll be one emergency away from a financial crisis.

[fryjack2]

Apr 26, 2022 19:12:19 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

I’m sorry you’re in this spot. Do you think you might be eligible financial aid? That’s probably your best option.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like you can really afford it, unless you borrow the money from somewhere. Maybe a grandparent?

ETA: People are suggesting using your college savings, but I don’t see how that adds up to $2-3k/month for the next 11 years. It’s basically another mortgage payment. The other option is a BIG move, out of your area, but that may only be possible if your jobs are remote.

A lot of private schools won't give you financial aid if you also are saving for college, so OP may have to halt those contributions or use what she has in the 529 before being granted FA.

OP- I'm sorry.  A good friend is going through something similar and is homeschooling her son while he waits to get off waitlists since the 2 schools within a 90 minute drive are full and not accepting students.  Its incredibly frustrating to not have school be able to meet your child's needs  My brother and SIL hired a lawyer to navigate school issue (IEP related and refusing to follow it or do neuro testing, etc.) because the district was making it so challenging to get their son the right resources.  

[clairebear]

Apr 26, 2022 15:10:17 GMT -5 lessel said:

Apr 26, 2022 14:41:10 GMT -5 clairebear said:

I would suggest getting together actual numbers and making a budget. Track your spending for a month to see where all the misc money goes for little things, and then budget all your monthly set expenses. See if you can make it work with your current spending habits and if not, how much do you need to cut back to be able to afford the tuition?

I would cut back on college savings for the kids (there are a ton of scholarships out there) and to me, their education now takes priority over a college education. You have a killer interest rate and I can't imagine you being able to saving any on housing without dramatically downgrading your quality of life. Can you not buy a new car for H and just have him keep his current one? I would try to keep your retirement savings at 10% of income (or whatever you need to do to stay on track). If you track all the little misc spending you can probably cut a ton. Multiple streaming services, eating out, take out, clothes, random stuff for the house etc. I shop at thrift stores for clothes, Aldi for groceries, and meal planning to avoid impulse buys and take out is super helpful.

Yes, 100% am doing this now. I'm getting a spreadsheet ready for when we meet with the financial advisor folks with everything I can think of. Do you have a suggestion on any programs or apps to do this doe misc expenses? I used Mint eons ago and didn't stick with it. When I look at the spending analysis stuff on our back account or Amex, I feel like it's hard to categorize stuff. Like if we make a $300 purchase at Costco--most of that is probably groceries, but maybe $50 was clothes or something else random. It's hard for me to label everything correctly, so I kind of give up.

We do meal planning and meal prep. I had weight loss surgery in October, so that's kind of refocused our grocery spending and planning. Thrift stores is a good idea, especially for my clothes. I don't have a large wardrobe at all, but most of it is getting donated bit by bit lately. I WFH full time now, so I don't have much in terms of clothing spending needs, although I've had to buy some stuff lately since I've gone down a few sizes... but mostly that's Old Navy stretchy pants or Target t-shirts. Not $$$.

I do think we can cut Hulu and AppleTV... those are the two we use the least. Netflix we use a lot and so do the kids. We have a 3/year Disney+ subscription, so there's no $ going out for that for the next year or so. HBO is free with our cell phone plan. Cell phone is $130/mo and internet is $70... those don't seem too bad, right? 

Oh, and yeah, we can try to not buy a car for H... He's had some engine and transmission issues recently that we've already shelved out $$$ for, so hopefully we're ok there for a bit. We can definitely put that on hold as long as we can.

I hated Mint and haven't found anything I like. I would just save receipts and manually track it in an Excel spreadsheet for a while. You don't have to do it forever, just for a bit to get a sense of where money is going. I guess the bigger question is are you close to being able to afford this expense? You're looking at 2-3k a month in tuition and cutting Hulu isn't going to make the difference long term. Certainly tightening up your budget, eliminating impluse buys, eating out, travel etc would close the gap, but probably isn't going to make $2000 materialize. I'm sorry you are facing this huge expense, I hope it works out. You are doing a great job advocating for your child.

[sadlebred]

It's really taking a look at your finances for several months line by line and coming up with a budget that you can stick to. Even cutting out small things like mani/pedis can save $100-200 a month for some (not saying this is you, but just an example). Even couponing, starting to buy at Aldi/Lidl instead of Kroger/Publix can really cut bills. Will $50 be the end all be all? No, but if you can find an extra $600-700/month buried in expenses, it will be a big help!

I hope you are able to get your son the academic help he deserves!

[lessel]

goldengirlz , I didn't take is dismissive. Trust me, "objectively a fuckton of money to commit to" is totally where my brain is at. And I've thought about the grandparent thing. My parents aren't in a place they can help. DH's dad might be, but I feel like it would be a one-time ask vs. asking him to commit over time. I know he's saving for our kids somehow, someway, but he hasn't disclosed those details and the relationship there is touchy enough that I'm not asking/counting on that.

I've been cataloging everything and I feel like there are a couple of places where we could squeeze. Plus things like small-ish bonuses that we currently just do nothing of particular importance with we could put toward this. Like I think we got new iPhones with my March performance bonus? I can't even remember. I guess IMO if we live comfortably enough that I can't remember what I did with that $$ that I should have room to make this happen. Re: travel, we've also been planning a Disney vacation next year that we would totally put the brakes on.

sadlebred , I do need to check out Aldi/Lidl... freaking Publix is killing me lately.

I've got my first call with the financial advisor folks in a few minutes, so we'll see how it goes. 🤞

[cricketwife]

I hope your call went well with the financial advisor.

My first thoughts were - you aren't going to find this kind of money with cutting back on groceries. You need to make changes with the places that consume the largest part of your budget -- housing, car, and potentially savings. But then I read your follow-up and I see that changes in housing would be pretty tough.

I'm just throwing thoughts out here -- I would not consider the 34K option. The extra 10K seems like too far a reach, and also, I wouldn't count on them successfully transitioning him back to public school. (andplusalso, the public schools aren't working for you, if you leave, will you want to return?) If you do decide you want to return to public school, I think it could also be done from the 24k school.

Preschool expenses are only 2 more years. Could you find the $700 difference (700+1300) in your current budget and then maybe suspend retirement or take a loan to cover the other 1300/month until she's out of preschool?

Also, are you using all your benefits at work - dependent care FSA? If you aren't that would save you $1000-1500 a year. (Still a drop in the bucket, but if we're filling by drops, it's something.)

And, in addition to going through you budget, it could be a good time to do those things like shop around for homeowners and car insurance to be sure you're getting the best rates.

Good luck. I hope you can figure out how to make this work.

[gt7301b]

If this was an expense that I thought would change my child's trajectory I would take drastic measures to make it happen. One place that I see finding that money is by cutting back on retirement and 529 contributions for a few years. Obviously it is not ideal, but it is a place to find some of the money.

[tacokick]

Slightly off topic but have you reached out to any community leaders like your councilman or other rep about the PDQ issues? What the school is doing is way beyond the norm and unethical and sometimes some political pressure helps. They should be aware that a school in their district is doing this and that they are refusing to meet the needs of your child. At the very least they could lean on the district to pay for the tuition to get your child help elsewhere if the system can’t handle it. Or facilitate an out of district transfer and provide transportation. I know my own councilman has successfully handled issues like this in the past so IMO it’s worth a shot.

[treschic]

Is there a nearby school district that accepts out of district transfers? A different elementary school in your own district that may be better? If not, I’d pick the less expensive private option and plan for him to transfer back to public school at the very latest at the end of elementary school.

Are there any other private options? I know our catholic schools in my town are really reasonable (like $3k/yr). I know services are still provided through the public school, but you’d have an extra advocate and it would be the public school closest to the private school. I’m not super in to the idea of catholic private school myself but would consider it under these circumstances.

I wouldn’t consider moving with the housing market the way it is and at 1.99%, I doubt you’ll end up saving any money with elevated pricing and higher interest rates.

I’d stop your retirement and 529 contributions to help make up the difference. I think you’re in a decent spot for that if you have 2x+ your salaries at your ages. You could do that for 2 years and then you’ll have $1300 freed up when the youngest goes to school. If you can push out the new car for an extra year that help too.

[jinkies]

Oh. Hi. My DD is 10 with dyslexia and dyscalculia. She had a horrible 3rd grade year last year and we put her in a dyslexia-specific private school this year for 4th grade.

In our case, we are hoping that remediation will help and that she will transition back to public school by 6th grade.

We could not have afforded it without financial aid.

The tuition is $36000, and goes up to $38k next year.

They offered us a financial aid package for half the tuition, so that got it down to $18,000. I would definitely start with what aid is available through the school.

$18,000 is still a fuckton of money, but it got us down closer to what we could justify as similar to day care costs.

In our case, we were fortunate that she is our youngest so we don't have other childcare costs anymore.

It also coincided with me WFH exclusively, so I could make it work to send her to a very very bare bones summer camp run by a local park. The hours wouldn't have worked if I were in an office, but since I can make it work, the camp is only $450 for the whole summer. That is relevant because I considered ~$5000 of her tuition to be justified by skipping camp costs. It also coincided with my son aging out of camp, so we can throw any money we would have spent on him to her tuition also.

Beyond that I've just tried to be more thoughtful with my spending. Neither of my kids are in expensive extracurriculars. We did not vacation in 2020, and did one driving trip in 2021. I try to use credit card points to my advantage as much as I can.



We did look into an advocate to help us navigate the system to get the school district to pay for private school. Ultimately, though, I had trusted the district and hadn't documented the majority of my interactions, going back to kindergarten, which would have helped prove my case. I had a short timeline to make a commitment to the private school in order to lock in the financial aid, and none of the advocates that I contacted were able to do a consultation in time. So in the end, I dropped it. But I'd encourage you to look into that as an option if possible.

It's also not clear to me what the less expensive private option is. If it's not a school that specializes in your child's disabilities, you may not be better off than if you stayed in public. In fact you may be worse off because there are not the same federal guarantees of free appropriate education and IEP systems in place.

[lessel]

jinkies Thanks for sharing that. I am going to do the financial aid application, although from talking to the admissions director of the less expensive school, I don't think their scholarships are typically that large. That school specializes serving LD/ADHD students. Their reading curriculum is Wilson and they do extra intervention for the kids with dyslexia. The more expensive school exclusively focuses on dyslexia remediation (OG) and other language-learning disabilities.

I am looking at cutting back on some summer camps this year, but on the other hand, if we choose the less expensive school, the more expensive school offers a 3-week summer program that's worth considering to supplement.

tacokick I haven't gone in that direction yet. I'm working with another local parent who's been through the wringer with the school district as a bit of a guide. So that's not off the table as a next step.

[pierogigirl]

lessel Are you in a state with Fair Hearings (Impartial Hearings) for special education? These are New York's guidelines on a Fair Hearing. Impartial Hearing

[lessel]

Apr 27, 2022 17:29:58 GMT -5 pierogigirl said:

lessel Are you in a state with Fair Hearings (Impartial Hearings) for special education? These are New York's guidelines on a Fair Hearing. Impartial Hearing

We have due process hearings that sound similar to what you linked.

More PDQ but it sounds like this might be our next step. The question is more about us getting legal representation in that process.

[numbers]

I think we're in the same area and familiar with those schools. (W and S? I can DD.)

My DD1 goes to a different private school but I know they're all big on financial assistance. The first thing I would do is reach out to the financial aid office at both schools and explain your situation- that you weren't planning on going the private school route but it's best for your child, etc.