May Wellness Thread

[pugz]

You know the drill, no diet talk, no @ talk.

[pugz]

I have been struggling for a couple of months and am doing the things I know I shouldn't - shaming myself or evading thoughts/feelings thinking it will just go away. I'm feeling overwhelmed by food again and struggling to feed myself, lunch specifically. Like right now it's 1:23 and I'm sitting on the couch having not eaten since breakfast and I'm hungry but going to look for food feels overwhelming.

I think I need to start by sitting down and making a list of things I like to eat for lunch and then *buy those things* My husband usually does the grocery shopping so that's part of it. I need to plan ahead and put things on the list. I did make our meal plan this week because he keeps making things I don't like so then I have no leftovers for lunch.

[mskitkat]

I have an appointment on Thursday with a functional medicine doctor. I’m cautiously optimistic. It’s expensive af, but my current PCP (highly recommended in my community) has let me down one too many times. Hopefully they can understand my concerns and aren’t pushy about weight loss. I have a history with anorexia, and I am very firm about refusing to answer things like “what’s your target weight”.

[just]

I used Talkspace a couple of years ago and actually thought it was really good - my therapist at the time was inquisitive, thoughtful and really listened. I feel like he moved me along in my journey. I cancelled because I was out of crisis and it was too expensive.

I joined a few weeks ago again, and my old therapist wasn't available again. It took 2 weeks to get matched - to be fair they added two weeks onto my subscription when I mentioned it since I had two weeks with no therapy.

I got matched and filled in the intake forms with appropriate depth - I didn't go crazy. My therapist responded with about 1,500 words, none of which were any questions for me, clarifications about points I'd brought up, no personalized information at all. It was like he saw the word "eating disorder" and copied and pasted from a file - I wasn't hear to discuss my eating disorder. He did this twice in a row - no questions to me at all, no pulling me out on topics, nothing. I rage quit - I know I should have complained and asked for a rematch, but it's so much energy to do therapy anyway - let alone fight against things like that.

I love the convenience of online therapy, but I think I'm going to have to find someone in my area - which also sucks.

[idahome]

I need to start being kinder to my body. Like, my back hurts so much and it feels “crunchy” when I stand up throughout the day. I can physically feel myself trying to steady myself as I stand up and start to walk…it’s in stages.

Anyway, prioritizing myself in this way is not something I’ve ever been good at. I keep thinking that maybe starting by focusing on flexibility would be helpful. Maybe not? I don’t even know where to begin.

Also, I haven’t taken any of my medications in well over a month. This includes my insulin which is why my A1c is off the charts. I can’t figure out “why” I’m self sabotaging and I don’t know how to stop (I do: find someone to talk with but that’s just not done in my family and since my parents live with us I don’t know how to manage their thoughts and my needs in this moment).

[pugz]

I am eating lunch. It is just food, nothing fancy. I will feel better after I do.

[1confused1]

After being in constant pain since the beginning of December, I am finally scheduled to have surgery. I haven’t been able to do anything physically since then, even just walking the dog, so I am hopeful this is successful and I can get back to feeling better.

[hermione]

I recently switched medication for my psoriasis and it's really helping my skin. However, I think it is somehow not doing as much to prevent psoriatic arthritis because I have pain in my wrists, hips, elbows, ankles and knees. Mostly off and on but my knees now hurt all the time. I am trying to wait for my three month check in but I don't know that I'll make it.

[wawa]

idahome, that sounds really hard. I feel you on the self sabotaging and I wish I had suggestions for you on how to deal with your family issues.

For the back/body pain - how does it feel to walk? Like does it feel good, like you're shaking out kinks and moving things around, or like it's just more strain? If it feels good, I think walking is a really underrated way to move your body. It helps on a lot of levels and is really low commitment. Just put on any old pair of shoes and go for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, whatever you have time for that feels good.

[BlondeSpiders]

PDQ, and delete if this is inappropriate for this forum.

My H is starting the research process for weight loss surgery and I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, he is up over 330# now (5'11, was 220# when we met 12 years ago) and has almost every obesity side effect out there. He has many other chronic illness/pain issues and the extra weight just exacerbates them all.

In addition to several (dx'd and medicated) mental health issues, he is very much an emotional eater, and I fear that once the medical team discovers that, he'll be denied. Which might be for the best, because having a golf ball-sized stomach will not address the hole he's trying to fill with burgers and candy. But I am worried the news might make his already-pretty-bad depression spiral down even more. Part of me wants to encourage him to downplay his emotional eating but I realize that's not smart either. I'm just worried for him.

[wanderingback]

The past few weeks I haven't been feeling well so I haven't been exercising and have been feeling sluggish.
But yesterday and today I've been feeling better and I went for walks both days! So hopefully I can get back to my regular routine.

I was going to run the Berlin marathon later this year, but now I'm not going to. I think I need to re-shift my fitness goals/focus if I'm not going to be doing any racing this year. I like the way exercising makes me feel, but I also like to have specific goals in mind, so I need to think on that more.

Lastly, I'm proud of myself for making sleep a priority still. I'm naturally a night owl, but I really just know my body need rest. I've been consistently getting between 7-8 hours of sleep per night and I'd like to think my body is saying thank you

[seeyalater52]

I’ve been looking for a new therapist since Feb after being ghosted by my last one more than a year ago at a very inopportune time. This week I finally got in to see someone and it is not a moment too soon. I’m completely crumbling and probably past the point of the help telehealth can offer but I’ll take what I can get to try to keep the dam from collapsing.

[mrsukyankee]

Sending hugs to all of you who need it. Wish I could do counselling for everyone.

I've been diagnosed with frozen shoulder. I'm finally getting an injection on Thursday, which hopefully will get me past the stalled PT that I've been going through. I really want to be able to throw again (I play cricket) and I can't. Plus it's painful putting on and taking off a bra, and that needs to stop!

[pugz]

BlondeSpiders would he be open to working with an ED clinic?

[lessel]

BlondeSpiders

I had WLS in October and I have struggled with depression and anxiety and would 110% agree that I am an emotional eater. A bored eater. An eat-because-I-like-eating eater. An eat-to-punish-myself eater. You name it. I admitted all of this fully in the the pre-surgical screening, discussed with my dietician, therapist, etc. None of it excluded me.

I’m happy to chat via PM and share more personal details, but I swear it’s more like I had brain surgery than stomach surgery.

I mean, I still have to contend with these issues over the long haul but so far it’s been life-changing.

[BlondeSpiders]

May 3, 2022 13:22:30 GMT -5 lessel said:

BlondeSpiders

I had WLS in October and I have struggled with depression and anxiety and would 110% agree that I am an emotional eater. A bored eater. An eat-because-I-like-eating eater. An eat-to-punish-myself eater. You name it. I admitted all of this fully in the the pre-surgical screening, discussed with my dietician, therapist, etc. None of it excluded me.

I’m happy to chat via PM and share more personal details, but I swear it’s more like I had brain surgery than stomach surgery.

I mean, I still have to contend with these issues over the long haul but so far it’s been life-changing.

This is such a relief to hear! I was wondering if the surgery might work this way for him as well; he just needs a push. When we've d***** in the past together, he's encouraged by small losses and it improves his overall well-being. I'm hoping this can act as a jump start.

Thank you for sharing! <3 

[BlondeSpiders]

May 3, 2022 13:03:19 GMT -5 pugz said:

BlondeSpiders would he be open to working with an ED clinic?

If he would actually admit to it, yes. He says he's talked about it with his therapists but I suspect not in much depth. As much shame is involved with ED in general, I think it's harder for men to admit.

[pugz]

BlondeSpiders I just know so many people who gained all the weight back that I would push for him to get professional help. And many ED clinics work with a lot of bariatric patients. At the one I go to I saw an RD and a therapist to address food and mental health issues together.

[ssmjlm]

Meal planning is where we fail and I need to make it a priority again. Too many things out of the house and me not prioritizing lunch when I'm home.

I need to be better about saying "if you're having chicken on your salad at lunch, take it out of the freezer." But then it's lunch time, no chicken is defrosted, and I find myself just grazing.

[cattledogkisses]

What is everyone doing for self-care right now? Everything just feels like a lot at the moment, especially after the SCOTUS leak. I'm still recovering from my nerve injury, I sprained my ankle last weekend, I have to travel the next 10 weekends in a row for various obligations, and I'm already feeling so tired and stretched thin.

[ssmjlm]

May 5, 2022 7:46:39 GMT -5 cattledogkisses said:

What is everyone doing for self-care right now? Everything just feels like a lot at the moment, especially after the SCOTUS leak. I'm still recovering from my nerve injury, I sprained my ankle last weekend, I have to travel the next 10 weekends in a row for various obligations, and I'm already feeling so tired and stretched thin.

I'm back at the office a 3rd day and I just bought 2 pairs of pricey flats because my feet are definitely a 1/2 size bigger now.

I need to schedule a massage/pedi, just need to look at my calendar and pick a date.

[StrawberryBlondie]

I really need to get back on the ice. My club is between sessions and both rinks near me are knee deep in spring show stuff so they have limited open skating time so I've only been able to go once in the last 2 weeks. My mental health needs it desperately.

[tiki]

I posted back in March about new-for-me heart palpitations. I was put on beta blockers, wore a heart monitor for a week, had an echocardigram, and was eventually diagnosed with paroxysmal afib. Since then my symptoms have come and gone daily, with no explanation for why this is happening. Medication does lower my heart rate a bit, but that doesn't actually prevent symptoms from re-occurring. I'm worried that because I'm not a typical cardiac patient (41, female, no high blood pressure, no shortness of breath, no physical limitations) medicine just doesn't have a plan for me.

[pixy0stix]

Long story short, I went to an ENT, had a sleep study and was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea, qualified for a CPAP, and am now waiting for the medical company to contact me that they've ordered it. It's been two weeks since the order was sent over. I called today and was told the typical wait is currently 4-6 weeks because there was a giant cpap recall.

Unnnnnnggghhhh... I just want to sleep better!

[litebright]

I was feeling pretty good about where I was at, mentally, and I thought it might be time to wean off my anti-anxiety meds. Whoa. Um. No. Since then it has felt like a pretty much lock-step slide into a not-good place again. I'm eating and sleeping irregularly, consistently tired (still don't feel like I've fully recovered from my last EBV flare-up, so I'm worried about re-starting exercise when I already feel borderline), feeling low-level dread pretty much all the time and as a result, I'm in a procrastination spiral that only makes the dread/guilt worse. Plus my preferred procrastination/escape is reading, which exacerbates the staying-up-too-late and overall, I just feel like a total mess.

I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow to re-up meds, and when I scheduled it, I was informed that they were squeezing me in on her last day with the practice. SIGH. So whatever solution comes out of tomorrow, I will almost certainly have to rehash everything with a new doc in short order, because she is unlikely to write more than a one-month rx. Which I already struggle to manage the refills on. Much less follow up on the ADHD evaluation referral that she wrote me months ago. SIGH. I'm so frustrated with myself, it feels like I manage so many other things well and I somehow cannot can get it together when it comes to my own mental health.

[pugz]

May 5, 2022 15:17:56 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Long story short, I went to an ENT, had a sleep study and was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea, qualified for a CPAP, and am now waiting for the medical company to contact me that they've ordered it. It's been two weeks since the order was sent over. I called today and was told the typical wait is currently 4-6 weeks because there was a giant cpap recall.

Unnnnnnggghhhh... I just want to sleep better!

I waited 7 weeks for mine last fall! It sucked but was worth the wait

[pugz]

May 5, 2022 7:46:39 GMT -5 cattledogkisses said:

What is everyone doing for self-care right now? Everything just feels like a lot at the moment, especially after the SCOTUS leak. I'm still recovering from my nerve injury, I sprained my ankle last weekend, I have to travel the next 10 weekends in a row for various obligations, and I'm already feeling so tired and stretched thin.

I am limiting social media for my mental health. Reading all the posts and memes is not good for me.

[SwimDeep]

May 5, 2022 15:17:56 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Long story short, I went to an ENT, had a sleep study and was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea, qualified for a CPAP, and am now waiting for the medical company to contact me that they've ordered it. It's been two weeks since the order was sent over. I called today and was told the typical wait is currently 4-6 weeks because there was a giant cpap recall.

Unnnnnnggghhhh... I just want to sleep better!

the model of cpap I have is part of the recall... I have been waiting almost a year now for a replacement 😓

[pixy0stix]

May 5, 2022 16:10:29 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

May 5, 2022 15:17:56 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Long story short, I went to an ENT, had a sleep study and was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea, qualified for a CPAP, and am now waiting for the medical company to contact me that they've ordered it. It's been two weeks since the order was sent over. I called today and was told the typical wait is currently 4-6 weeks because there was a giant cpap recall.

Unnnnnnggghhhh... I just want to sleep better!

the model of cpap I have is part of the recall... I have been waiting almost a year now for a replacement 😓

omg. Does that mean you've been without, or that you've been using the machine while waiting?

[SwimDeep]

May 5, 2022 16:19:39 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

May 5, 2022 16:10:29 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

the model of cpap I have is part of the recall... I have been waiting almost a year now for a replacement 😓

omg. Does that mean you've been without, or that you've been using the machine while waiting?

I don't use the humidifier part of it, so I could probably keep using it. But I was waking up with headaches and nosebleeds so I feel like I need to wait for a new machine. I don't like the idea that I'm breathing in the particles that are breaking down so I've just been without. Honestly, I've started shopping around for a different model because the recall wait has gotten ridiculous. They're so $$$ though 😕