Vent thread

[waverly]

I have vents, so I created a thread.

1. My sister visited dad, and she said he was sad because he realizes he is just like his mentally ill brother, and instead of it being genetic like his brother, it was caused by him drinking so much that it caused brain damage.  And because of his life long selfishness, and now this, we have literally never gotten anything from him basically after I entered college, in terms of emotional support or him even asking about us.  It's always been about him him him, and now its still about him because he is too mentally ill for it to be about anyone else. 

2. DH and I are not getting along at all.  And DH is spending a million dollars on his side business (exaggeration), and I honestly don't know if he will recoup it.  And he isn't asking me about the money.  Our bathroom project is over with before it began, and he spent the money that we would have used on it.  And honestly, it might be for the best since construction additions are a billion dollars now.  But I wish DH would just admit it, and take the bathroom off the table, so that we don't have to worry about it for the future, and start planning our future without it.

He's in over his head, won't admit it, and his work life and home life are suffering because of it because he is very stubborn.  

[mommyatty]

I’m trying to take a day off because I’ve been sick for almost a week and am not getting better. Probably because I have no time to rest. But DS had a really awful day yesterday, so he’s home having a mental health day, on his new meds. He wants to just be on screens, and that’s a hard no. But he doesn’t know how to amuse himself without screens and stubbornly refuses to pick any of the activities I’ve offered (Osmo drawing game, Find the Hidden Picture, read a book, do a new Lego set he got for his birthday, build a marble run, build with any materials, write a story….)

And dumb work stuff keeps popping up that I have to deal with because my boss has absolutely zero follow through. And I need a couple of things from him that are very time-sensitive. Like a trip to England the second week of June that I need to book.

[rere]

waverly you have my sympathy. My situation was reversed. Dad didn't pay us much attention when we were small, so he tried to make up for it as adults and grandchildren. However he didn't get much of a chance since he got sick at 53. So I do know it is frustrating to have parents that didn't make the greatest decisions. And you spend your life being the opposite and living for your kids, but their bad choices end up raining down on you and your ability to focus on the life you have.

I just stuck to the goal of I will give my kids the a great life, and I need to come through this still married and employed with my little family first to achieve that goal. That didn't make me popular sometimes with my extended family, but 6 years out, I still think it was a good decision.

[186momx]

DH bought this golf electronic gizmo off ebay. It came yesterday and guess what it doesn't work. He was wanting me to help him figure it out and I just wasn't having it. I told him to take it to Battery Pros and see if they could figure it out. He wasn't happy with me.

I have ants in my kitchen. I have a pest company who was out 2 weeks ago. I called company and they were to be here today between 9-11. I left DD home and my mom was going to come over when they came. This way DD could let her in. Company was supposed to call me 30 minutes before arrival so I could arrange someone to be there. DD calls me at 9:22 pest people are here. OK, I call mom who drops everything to make the 5-minute drive. Pest guy calls and says I'm here to deal with your ants but no one is home so I guess you don't want me to fix it. I said no you were supposed to give me a 30 minute heads up so give me 15 to get some one there. DD texts at 9:39 that they had left. My mom texts me at 10:00 saying she will call me later to discuss. I'm very annoyed.

[mae0111]

I am overwhelmed with all the things that are going on and trying to manage everything for everyone. DH is going away for a few days starting tomorrow. He probably does need to go (not a work trip) but it's just inconvenient. More things are being piled on DD1's calendar which kind of means that I can't put things on mine. DH and I are totally disconnected because all he does is work and all I do is manage all the things for everyone in the house, work, and fight with everyone to do what they're supposed to do. We have like no shot of going out together to reconnect.

Both kids were home sick yesterday, and trying to manage that was a mess. Now I have one home and one in school today. I spent a chunk of my work day at urgent care (luckily no COVID, flu or strep, all of which are rampant in DD1's class right now), and I can't make up the time this afternoon because I need to drive to soccer... but at least no softball tonight...

Pool opening has been a nightmare because we did it ourselves. Luckily DH is super handy and was able to make some repairs, but I'm not hopeful that it will be ready for this weekend's 90 degree temps.

[supertrooper1]

186momx, ants are worse than normal this year! In the 3 years I've lived in my house, they usually try to come in the sliding glass door. I get traps and spray and that stops them inches from the door. But this year they ended up in my laundry room where I have some pantry storage. So far liquid bait traps and spraying has gotten rid of them in a few days. But then I found cookie crumbs in the corner or my living room that Beau's grandson had dropped and covered in ants. I have no idea how they got in and found the cookie crumbs so quickly, but luckily it was just that spot.

[rere]

Dh is changing his schedule at work. He works some weekends, and some weeks if he took off, he may have to take no vacation, others it may be 6 days. But no one will tell him when. We are good for our vacation in a couple of weeks. But every other plan for the summer is DH may or may not be able. We are planning to meet Ds on a beach in NC in August then we would go tot the Biltmore and hike in the mountains. That will involve 3 different hotels. Plus I have a job and do need to block off my calendar. I have 2 weeks blocked now, but that won't work for long.

[waverly]

Terro is the best for ants. www.terro.com/terro-liquid-ant-baits-2-pack

[twinmomma]

I am getting so annoyed by beau's food storage habits lately. It's getting out of control.

I will organize the fridge and the freezer by category and try to keep stuff grouped together to make it easier to find. For example, in the fridge, a shelf full of leftovers, a shelf for eggs and butter, cheese in the deli drawer, veggies in the veggie drawers. I'm not doing crazy Home Edit level zones here, just common sense. Then he cooks and blows it all to hell. I find a random single egg in a bin with the butter on the door. Or a cabbage shoved on the condiments lazy suzy instead of in the drawer. It's so random!

On top of that, he's become obsessed with not wasting anything, so instead he just shoves it in the freezer. I can't process anything that is in there without emptying the entire thing. And how many random containers of leftovers do we need shoved in the freezer, never to be eaten again? I feel like there's no actual food in our freezer right now, it's all just veggie soup and frozen fruit that he uses for smoothies and other leftovers.

It's stressing me out because I can't even begin to help with meals when he's not home because I cannot handle the chaos and the digging for supplies. I get completely overwhelmed just opening the fridge or the freezer, which means I order take out when he's not home, which is not a good solution.

You own a restaurant where everything is labeled and organized to the tiniest detail! Carry that over to home!

Phew. That felt good to get off my chest.

[supertrooper1]

waverly, those are the ant traps that worked for me too.

[supertrooper1]

I keep getting Cloudflare issues when trying to reach this site which makes me do two Captchas just to get here. But it's hit and miss if the Captchas will even load.

Work software malfunctions seem to be at an all time high. Many of these require work tickets and the response time for work tickets is too slow for my clients. And they often require multiple follow ups just to get the programmers to start on it.

Beau and his son are on buying spree competitions right now. They're at Best Buy right now to buy an Oculus and Beau will probably end up with the new Xbox too since his son just bought one. I'm not sure who is paying for the Oculus. Beau also just spent a ton of money on "nice to have but not necessary" items for our trailer. They're both getting full paychecks now after a couple years of just scraping by due to company slow downs, and I'm afraid they're going to go right back in debt with all of their spending. Beau's son's finances shouldn't bother me but it does when he overspends then has to borrow from Beau. And I don't think his son realizes that Beau has spend so much over the last couple years that he's out of savings and paycheck to paycheck. I think this bothers me because I wish I could just go out and buy whatever I wanted but instead I'm saving every little penny for future attorney fees.

[mommyatty]

Another one. My new company uses the same software for expense reimbursement and reporting as my old company. So I know the software itself isn’t bad. But omg my new company has made it so hard to do expense reports. I’m organized and efficient and it just took me 2.5 hrs to do a report with 15 expenses on it. It’s freaking nuts.

ETA: it just cost them $1000 of my billable time to do a $950 expense report. And I’m sure the people in Poland will come back with random stupid questions.

[traveltheworld]

I'm stressed at work. I really need a career change. Does anyone know how one can become a life coach or a corporate trainer?

[186momx]

waverly, supertrooper1, I have a stash of those terro traps.
I switched to quarterly pest service when the terro traps stopped being effective 4 years ago. I've only had a couple flare ups since and both have been when we did power washing of the house so I disturbed them. This one is just random and has a ton to due with the crazy weather. Right now they are in my dishtowel draw and by the sink and stove. I wish I knew where these suckers were coming from but couldn't figure it out. They sprayed inside and out, put granulas down, and left me ants traps and told me if I was still having problems in 3 weeks to call and they would come again which has me annoyed. I pay for the quarterly service and any extra trips out are free.

[soccermama]

mae0111 , just wanted to commiserate that I feel very disconnected to my DH right now as well. I feel like it is so so hard to make time for us as a couple with everything going on, working, the house, the kids and their schedules. My DH works 24 hr shifts and he work 11-12 days a month so that can be tough also. His 4 day breaks are nice, but him being gone takes a toll on us I think. He generally only gets 1 full weekend off a month, so that means when I am off on the weekends he usually works at least 1 of those days. 

[k3am]

traveltheworld, I too am stressed at work. For years I've dreamed of a career change and not been confident, since itwould mean a step back and being paid less. Good news is, I just got told that despite the shit storm I'm dealing with right now, I don't need to worry about my job. So.. that's a good thing. I think.

[traveltheworld]

waverly, I'm pretty sure I have good job security; but like you, I'm not entirely sure if that's a good thing. I'm also coming into my long term incentive payments, so there's every reason to stick around. It's just hard. I have some weeks where it feels better, but then overall I haven't liked my career for a long time now. And I don't think it's my company. My company is pretty great, it's just the nature of the work is too high stress.

[polecat8]

Late to the show here, but I was working the polls in PA yesterday.
The amount of conspiracy theorists who showed up at the polls was disturbing. How did I know they were conspiracy theorists? Because they felt the need to tell me all about it as I helped them vote. If you are a non-extreme republican or a democrat or a non-party voter, please make sure you turn out for the November elections and vote against the candidates who are supporting these extreme views. PA is going to be a shitshow if you folks don't show up to vote!

Also, we did not "run out of Republican ballots". We had to switch to the alternate ballots, which are actually the ballots we use for voters who cannot fill out the bubbles on the paper ballots. The district next to us had to use the alternate ballot for Democrats and Republicans. It looks like everyone has surprised us by turning out to vote, which is great!
And if you want to bash the voting system/process, then why don't you volunteer to work the polls so you can see what we really do before spreading lies. The people who work the polls don't do it for the money (working a 16 hour day for less than minimum wage is not exactly attractive). We do it because we believe in the process and we want to make sure everyone is able to cast their ballot on election day.

[k3am]

polecat8, I actually don't understand voting in person. I've never done it. Prior to vote by mail, I never voted, since I didn't feel like I was educated enough to vote for anyone/anything on the ballot. I need time to sit and research before I try to vote someone/something into office. Best benefit, with vote by mail, I get to avoid all the crazies.

[waverly]

polecat8, yeah don't get me started. We became an early voting place during the pandemic. Lines out the door and outside for weeks. I don't know how many people did not know how to drop their ballot into the ballot box. I just hope people understand how to do it now. 1 envelope, 2 envelopes, signing it- ahhh, too hard for everyone.

Not to mention the idiots that deliberately shook the ballot box to prove it could be shaken (and taken). I mean I think we would notice OK, but let's commit a felony to prove someone can commit a felony. That makes perfect sense. Luckily, the voter guy has a sense of humor and just laughed. And no, they did not get anywhere with the ballot box.

[polecat8]

PA is a little backwards for voting trends.
Mail-in ballots didn't become a thing until Covid and they still aren't widely accepted. We don't have early voting or the ability to drop off ballots at a satellite site.
All mail-in ballots have to be received in our county by 8pm on election day - no exceptions. That includes if the post office didn't get it there in time - postmarks don't count.

[waverly]

polecat8 , we also did not have widespread mail in ballots prior to Covid. Whether they are widely accepted (from the public POV), I don't know, but about 10 million people used them (I'm exaggerating). And yes, we are a satellite site although kind of wishing we weren't- ha ha. And kind of wishing we weren't an early voting site also, but we have always had early voting in our state, just not at our site.

[supertrooper1]

I haven't voted in person in 20 years. It's so much easier to do mail in ballots. I grew up in a small town and when I would vote in person, it was all the little old ladies working the polls that would tell me that they couldn't believe I was old enough to vote because they remembered me in diapers.

[mae0111]

Another one - my client is frustrated with the timing of my project. But the reality is they changed gears so many times that I had to take on a lot of extra work that was supposed to be done by the agency. But since they tacked on a lot, we used up their hours in other ways so the full implementation is on me. Last time I did this I had a team of 25-30 FTEs and consultants. It is literally just ME.

They’ve encouraged me to just work when I can work, and my private life is just a bit of a mess right now. I’m being very honest about my hours, but the reality is that I don’t have enough hours in the day to give them what they want and keep my family in tact and moving.

I like them a lot, but I think we all underestimated what this would take. I feel like I need to pull back to focus on my non-work life right now but I just can’t.

[erbear]

May 18, 2022 10:20:01 GMT -5 k3am said:

polecat8 , I actually don't understand voting in person. I've never done it. Prior to vote by mail, I never voted, since I didn't feel like I was educated enough to vote for anyone/anything on the ballot. I need time to sit and research before I try to vote someone/something into office. Best benefit, with vote by mail, I get to avoid all the crazies.

You can do the research ahead of time, then vote in person

polecat8, thanks for working the polls. PA has the potential to be a shitshow if the moderates and the Dems don't come out in force in November. I don't even want to think about what a Mastriano win means for us. And those people have been poisoned by Fox News to see election fraud everywhere, even when none exists.

[k3am]

erbear, there are so many items I wouldn't be able to keep track.

[AdaraMarie]

May 18, 2022 15:09:17 GMT -5 k3am said:

erbear, there are so many items I wouldn't be able to keep track.

You can usually find a sample ballot online or mailed with other election info, take notes on it and bring it with you. This is what I do when I vote in person.

[mommyatty]

k3am, I fill out a practice ballot at home and take it with me to the polls.

[mustardseed2007]

Oh I live in Texas so I definitely vote in person. I know several people who did a drive up option in the last presidential election and then the governor tried to get those votes excluded (he was unsuccessful). Not to mention the fear that my mail in vote will be deemed nonconforming due to some court ruling that comes out after I mail out my vote.

Basically I don't have faith that my vote will get counted in Texas unless I vote in person due to after voting rulings. Does that count as a conspiracy theory?

I have full faith that no poll worker is trying to get votes excluded though. And I have full faith that all votes are counted following the law. I just don't trust after the fact voting rulings to not happen and I don't trust myself to be able to follow known rules to the letter because things are complicated here.

[mustardseed2007]

Vent - there's a covid outbreak at our school. 2 kids in DD's class have it. I think it'll be more in the next couple of days. The pool test also came back with positives and we're waiting to see who specifically the positives were.

So, they brought back masks in the school and we're just kind of waiting to see what happens. Such a bummer time of year.