I started Lexapro, and I will be honest that I started to not GAF. I felt like the main character in office space post-hypnotizing, if you've seen that movie. But it was so freeing. I feel amazing even though it meant that I pulled back on my career.
But I will echo other posters that you can always try a new med or stop. But what is the point of the grind if you are miserable? Like, you are touching on this in your follow up post. Your life is out of sync with your values. So shake it up. Start small with babysitters and/or meds and keep making changes until you are happy and feel like you're on the track you want to be on. YOLO.
I just want to add that this turned into more of a problem solving session but you HAVE had it really rough lately and if you just need hair pats or hugs, that's totally justified.
These are extraordinary circumstances and I do believe that things will ease up for you soon. You definitely deserve a break. I hope you get one ASAP.
I hope this doesn't feel like a pile on or any sort of meds pushing, please do what you think will work for you. I'll just throw in my perspective/experience with meds.
So I similarly dealt with a long, deteriorating parental illness. From the time my father was diagnosed (pregnant with my oldest, 2013) through the time he passed away (May, 2020 kids were 4 and 6), I was definitely feeling the crunch with caring for a sick parent, plus raising young babies, plus working full time. Add in some serious marriage issues and I was (and some days, still) just barely hanging on.
Therapy didn't feel right - I'm already SO short on time and one more thing on my to-do list would break me. I didn't think meds would help, because hello, no amount of meds will make me happy about the situations in my life. But my doctor convinced me to give meds a try.
I found the meds gave me a moment to breathe. When I was/am at max capacity, just seeing daycare's phone number pop up on my phone, would make my heart pound, blood pressure rise. I'd start to panic, anticipating 'What is this phone call going to do to my day/week, I can't handle this, this is the worst day/week at work to now have to miss XYZ, etc' And on meds, instead it allowed me to take a breath, answer the phone, and handle. Somehow it brought some patience or ability to cope without going into full panic mode about everything.
I will add, the times that I've tried meds over the past 18 years (first anti-depressants, then off, then on, then off, now anti-anxiety which I don't think I'll ever decide to go off of at this point), it's wild once you're on them. The fog lifts, you feel more like your old self. And only then, could I realize how bad I had been. When life is hard and things feel bad, it's often a gradual slide, where you don't know how far you've fallen. It wasn't until I felt better than I could look back and realize I had been wayyyyyy worse than I thought. Because hey, I was coping and getting by, so I couldn't be that bad. So all that to say, it's OK to try meds, give it time to notice a difference and if you feel better, then great. Keep on them for a bit and make the decision to re-evaluate in 6 months. If you don't notice an improvement after an appropriate amount of time, then it's OK to stop. The decision you make now doesn't have to be forever.
I'm just here to say that Lexapro was one of the best things I did for myself and my family.
You're in a very difficult chapter of your life in general and it's currently being made more difficult by a pandemic, a recession, war, gun violence and on and on.
Not a lawyer, but I'm a CPA who has done public and gone private. It really is better on the other side. LOL
DS went back to daycare today, his fever broke yesterday and he is back to normal. Of course tonight DD comes home with a 101.9 fever. She tested neg for covid, so I'm sure she has the same bug DS had, which hopefully means she'll get over it relatively quickly. But tomorrow was supposed to be the first time our house cleaners could come in 6 weeks between covid in our house and then scheduling on their end, and Wed she was supposed to get her covid booster. The week of April 25 was the last time I had everybody in school/care all week.
I have read everyone's replies and I am taking them to heart, please don't mistake lack of follow up responses for not appreciating them in the spirit in which they were given. But in this moment I just need a really big glass of wine. Even though this was totally foreseeable, it really freaking sucks, and I am all out of bandwidth to absorb it gracefully.
Susie, I don't have much advice beyond what everyone else has said but I'm just so sorry it's been such a rough go for you. I really hope things improve soon. As soon as both kids are better I think you and your H need a night out.
I’m so sorry this continues to suck. It seems like the only way out is through. The FDA is supposed to meet tomorrow for both Pfizer and Moderna for 6mo-5yo though (NPR said shots in arms as early as next Tuesday). 🤞 I have heard kids can get a booster at least, not sure about the original vaccine, 30 days after the resolution of symptoms.
I am so sorry. I have no advice, but it is really hard and you’ve had a particularly rough go. I am a SAHM now and that definitely removed a lot of the stress of missing work, which is huge, but it is still really hard to juggle everything, change plans, have everything thrown off. My youngest got Covid just after the rest of us were in the clear, we also had to cancel cleaner who hadn’t come in a long time, then she missed 2 days of school with some other random bug during my “get errands done before school ends” week, we had non-stop action and now are at our cottage for our first “relaxing” day and she has a fever and is throwing up.
All that just to say that it totally sucks. Outside of the work piece (I didn’t read responses; maybe you got good advice) I just try to roll with it in survival mode and remember that we will get through these phases and things will look much brighter soon.
This is very rough, you've had a lot on your plate, I'm sorry you've been dealing with all this. I hope you can get a break soon. I cannot believe 2+ years into this more daycares haven't adopted test and stay models, it's been a lifesaver to have that at school and aftercare (also a daycare). I think having a babysitter a few hours on a weekend would help you recharge and get some down time, I'd look into that as an option a few times a month.
I can't speak to therapy or meds, but I think a good doctor could help you find a med that doesn't impact focus/concentration.
I get how quickly it all burns you out, I am a single parent with no nearby family to help, so 100% of sick days fall on me, followed closely by me getting sick. I was out of the office half of february and have had at least a week sick every other month this year, DD is home sick again today. My DD is older, so more independent than a little, but the combination of her ASD and personality means she is constantly on top of me, so I have trouble getting anything accomplished when she's home. I just let crap slide I know I cannot do it all, so I don't. I do the bare minimum of chores, I make frozen pizza or pasta for dinner, I get the basics done at work and leave some bigger projects on the back burner. If I could afford home help, I'd use that in a second, outsource what you can afford to outsource. I delegate my work when I'm home sick with DD and don't even attempt to work when she is home sick, or when I get sick. I have amazing co-workers who have helped when I needed it, even if my boss seems annoyed sometimes with the absurd amount of sick time I have taken this year.
I ditto ALL of this as a fellow single solo mom w no family close by to help. Lowered expectations have saved me on more than one occasion.