You’re growing up so fast. And I love that you know your own mind. But it was really hard getting you an electric razor so you could shave your armpits yesterday. That feels like when you lost your first to front tooth: Like a Very Big Deal.
I love that you're getting along SLIGHTLY better than you had been. It's summer, and I'm excited for a great vacation! But here's the deal... I have to work this summer. It's been a long time since you've had to deal with me working, and I am not here to entertain you 24-7. I also will not tolerate you staring at a screen while the house falls down around you.
So.
Pitch in. I even made you a list to make it easy. I'm not asking a lot. Put your dishes in the dishwasher. If it's clean, empty it. If it's full and dirty, run it. Do a little of your summer work or read a chapter. Basketball and soccer drills to get your body moving.
I'M NOT MEAN FOR DOING THIS!
Love, Ma
Dear DD2 -
My heart broke last night when you cried when I told you we were meeting with DD1's NP about an ADHD evaluation. This does not make you a failure. It means your brain works a little differently and you need a little help. You admitted that it's almost impossible for you to get through the school day with focus and without moving all the time. It was hard for me too, but no one knew what was going on in my mind and why things were hard. I want to help you.
So we're doing this today, and you're going to have a full neuropsych eval later this summer. You're so, so smart. I want to understand how your brain works so that I can help you.
Your inability to focus is stressing you out - I can see it. Let's fix it.
mae0111, I had the same experience with my (now 13 year old) when she was 10 and we were looking at it. It broke my heart. The great news is that the meds work and she sees it. Her doc was great about explaining how her brain works and how adhd brains are creative and resourceful because they have to be, and how meds just help connect the dots. This sounds dumb, but she also thought it was so cool that Penn (from the Holderness family; they were also on the Amazing Race) always talked on the show how his adhd was a superpower when it came to different tasks and activities.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
DD1 started meds because her behavior at home was out of control. She was tantruming and melting down for hours after school - but fine at school - grades were great, behavior was perfect. But it took so much for her to hold it together that she would just lose it at home.
DD2 isn't poorly behaved at school, but she can't stop moving and talking. The talking/blurting out has improved, and she had an amazing teacher that would let her move around as needed, but it's not sustainable. She's a sweetheart and is never in trouble for being mean, but she feels bad about herself because she is getting in trouble with other teachers.
I think DD2 saw that behavior and maybe thinks that we see the same in her? Or something? I tried to explain that they aren't the same, I just want to help her, I pointed out that I've just started meds and I realize how much easier life might have been for me if I'd only realized sooner that I needed a little help.
mommyatty, I had the same feels last year at this time. DD went from shaving armpits once a week to now every few days. Most of her friends shave their legs but DD hasn't started yet. She has very pale hair and says the razor tickles. 186momx
Dear Doctors office Thanks for doing the TDap and Covid booster before she saw the doctor. She didn't even realize she got the first shot because I had her busy doing exponential mental math. 2nd shot we got a on ouch and you made me bleed. Also I don't understand how she goes from 10% weight to 97% and 40% height to 97% in one year. Your charts are just weird. We see you once a year and I wish we could actually talk to you about stuff instead of a quick 10 minute well check. You have been her doctor since she was 8 months old and we have no repour with you. It is what it is Mom & DD
Dear Pollen count High is 200 parts we are at 1500 parts. Sign itchy eyes, sneezing, and runny nose me
I feel like having a pre made checklist made it seem more “This is what a lot of parents do” and less like “Mom just doesn’t want us to get our screens.” My fav thing is the kids collaborate to come up with an activity that checks multiple boxes. So they take a walk together around our neighborhood to check Spent time outside and Family or Friend time. Or they read a book, taking turns reading out loud to get Reading and Family Friend and (if they choose nonfiction) Learn Something New.
I packed myself. I packed both kids. I’m packing the beach/activity bag. I’m packing all the chargers and all the various shit we need for our family and your mother who I’m sure won’t pack shit and will expect us to run around buying her stuff (past highlights: she didn’t bring a swimsuit on a beach vacation, she never brings her own chargers, and we once had to buy her shoes because she only brought shoes she wore pantyhose with in zillion degree heat).Hell, you even tasked me with taking your mom to buy new summer clothes for this trip so she doesn’t come with jeans, pantyhose, and over shirts with tee shirts underneath and then almost get heatstroke (again). You? You’ve bought yourself a new iPad that you now have to set up.
Today, I had a work lunch before which you left to go for a run even though no one was here to watch the kids because your mom was getting a haircut. So I put BFF on notice to be the emergency contact and found out that you still took a couple of hours to get back even though you agreed to cut your run short.
If you bitch about anything- Any Single Little Thing- I will buy a wood chipper from Amazon to dispose of your body a la Fargo.
mommyatty , the lady lives in Texas, how does she not have clothing for the heat?
Have you tried having the kids pack for themselves? I give them a list, and then I do an inspection at the end. But it saves me from having to run all around the house gathering things.
I'm glad you are having a blast at GS camp (week 2) even though this week has also been a scorcher. I hope you have a ton of fun at the overnight tonight.
Love, Mom
Dear DH,
I hope your thing goes well today and you are able to get everything accomplished. Yay, for not having anyone home tonight.
mae0111, DD also gets a list from me on days she stays home. Monday was teeth brush, shower, eat breakfast before 9, put away all laundry, clean her room, clean living room so I could vacuum, at lunch, unload and load dishwasher, and make the pizza dough for dinner. When she is at work with me, we have a daily schedule otherwise I have the "I'm bored" every hour. not a mean mom either
mommyatty, DH is wanting me to pack and do all this stuff with the camper for his trip. I'm being a meanie and not doing it. DD picks out what she wants and I just approve/adjust when necessary and then she packs it into a bag.
DD tried to pack herself. She forgot undies and packed a few random things like a long-sleeved nightgown and … knee socks? I did have them both pack their backpacks for the flight. So far, DS has his sleep mask and all his special sleep stuffies (which he will need tonight). DD has her stuffies. Neither took anything to do on the plane, though to be fair I told them they could wait to pack electronics.
And MIL stays inside all the time. She wears jeans, a tee shirt, and a long-sleeved shirt over her tee shirt. She has finally started wearing khaki shorts to walk in the morning because she had what she called “a sinking spell” when she ran out of water walking and was wearing jeans. Strangers gave her a ride home when she sat down on a curb because she almost passed out. Oh, and she didn’t have her phone with her to call us because she didn’t see a reason to walk with it. Like oh I don’t know an emergency where she almost passed out on the side of the road. The woman has no good sense.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jun 22, 2022 15:17:13 GMT -5
mommyatty, I find that I'm not very good at catching what the kids missed. Somehow if I have a big pile of almost everything they need I'm not a good issue spotter. Packing DS for camp was actually harder somehow because he and the nanny worked together to pack all of his outfits in zip locks but just some of them were missing socks or underwear, in one they packed a rashguard instead of a t shirt...just every time I looked through a bag I randomly found something wrong with a different bag. Who knows what he's missing.
On the upside, based on the pictures I got today he seems to be wearing his swim suit to multiple non-swim activities so I guess whatever we failed to pack he can make it through.
mustardseed2007, oh yeah, DS basically wears the same 2 t-shirts and shorts throughout the whole week at camp. I make him change at home because he would if he could. But at camp, oh well. And he definitely packs the correct amount because I do my inspection.
I always wondered about the zip lock bag method. Sounds like it wasn't really better.
I swear by the zip loc packing method, especially for camp/camping. The woods are damp and it gets cold at night here. DD1 used to just unload everything from all the bags immediately upon arrival but has since learned that her clothes stay dry if they stay in the bags. DD2 likes the organization, and now packs herself that way.
I packed no clothes for their recent camping trip - everyone was responsible for their own stuff. DD1 forgot a rain coat but I stashed ponchos in the camper years ago, just in case.
You are my ultimate mama’s boy, and I’m so worried about how you’re going to take me being gone so long. Please still be my mama’s boy when I get home. And don’t be scared while I’m gone.
When we go on trips, I give the kids a list and make them lay everything out in their beds. Then I go through the list. It’s almost like I’m packing for them but maybe a little more independent? Someday?
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
mommyatty, Love that checklist! I might have to grab those or make my own that look similar.
erbear, For longer trips we do the lay it out before packing method too. I give them the list and they round it all up.
If I don't check what they packed, we end up the way we were last weekend for our one night in a hotel. Beau simply said to the kids "Pack a change of clothes and your bathing suits." We ended up with no socks for anyone, only DD1 kid packed clean underwear, the girls didn't bring pajamas. But they all had stuffed animals! #priorities He has learned his lesson to be more specific with future packing instructions.
Dear coworkers, Please have just a little chill about this company-wide game/challenge for the summer? I'm really, really glad that my idea is so well received and everyone is excited to participate. But administering this is just one teeny tiny part of my overall job, so I can't drop everything to deal with your questions every two seconds. There's 150 of you. Just read the instructions and play the game. It's seriously not that complicated. It's been 24 hours and I'm already annoyed with all of you. Signed, Head Game Maker
I think you're amazing at what you do. You provide a level of service to your clients that it second to none. But the internal stuff is killing me. There are mixed messages because you tell me one thing, revisit it, change your mind, and never tell me. So I'm going down a path, and find out quite by accident that I have to change direction. It's annoying and I don't know how to solve it.
Otherwise I'm happy. But it's a tiny organization. Communication should be easy. I expect things like this at my mammoth former org with like 25K employees. But you have 8. EIGHT employees, and me, a consultant. Tell me what's happening!!
Signed -
Hoping it's just growing pains because I see a future here
I don't think I ever want to plan another trip with your family again. The level of dread I'm experiencing about the upcoming week is through the damned roof.
I experience a similar level of dread when planning trips with DH's family. For our first 13 years of marriage, the only trip we took without his family was our honeymoon. I HATED it. They're not bad people. They can be quite fun. But everything is on THEIR time with THEIR schedule, and there is no regard for my plans or preferences, let alone nap and bedtime schedules when my kids were young.
We finally did a trip last year with just DD2, and it was blissful. I can't go back.
mae0111, that sounds awful. Thankfully we've NEVER traveled with them. FIL is.. particular. He only likes to stay him places he knows, and this trip is definitely not it. They don't drive aside from putting around at home. They can't walk far. They want everything planned in advance. So far DH has been talking with them about eating out virtually every meal. WITH A GROUP OF 12, INCLUDING AN INFANT. Which.. might work. Maybe. With planned reservations. They also want to have everyone together for the entire day.
SIL will be there at least, which may be my only saving grace?
Either way, if I end up with my own episode of Snapped, can you guys be my character references???
k3am that is my feelings with doing trips with my own family. The dread and stress for our work trip last month was horrible all because of my own mom. I've been avoiding seeing her ever sense because it just is too much
Dear DD I have today of. Mental health kind of day so can you please just chill. My allergies are on overload so no I don't want to go anywhere. Mommy who needs a quiet day
And I also need someone to give me the ability to keep my mouth shut and not complain too much to DH about it or in front of the kids. Basically, I somehow need to find a magical fountain of patience, something I'm not known for.
Dear WP, The bad news: my Covid PCR test came back positive. FML. The good news: based on the fact that I have been sick on and off for over a month and when this latest round of symptoms hit, my quarantine is already over, so I can test for my next belt in taekwondo tonight.