College tours: How to start?

[msmerymac]

I think the location is a big consideration. Not just city vs. small college town or big school vs. small liberal arts school, but how far away from home he wants to be. Is he ready to live on his own, even in dorms? Would he want to be able to come how on weekends? Would it make sense to save money by having him commute, at least for a year or two? On the flip side, maybe he wants a local school but wants to live in the dorms his first year to meet people and get involved.

Some kids are ready to fly across the country to attend college and some need to stick to community college for a year, but that's something you and he will need to work out.

[litskispeciality]

There should also be college fairs in the fall and spring. I highly recommend traveling if not hosted at your school. It's quick info, but good to see what's out there.

[plutosmoon]

I am admission adjacent (financial aid) at a private college. Don't be afraid to visit aid offices when you are there and ask questions. every college is required to have a net price calculator on their website to estimate your costs. Students who qualify for aid often pay a lot less here than a state school, don't let the price tags of some places scare you.

Our college added virtual tours to our website during covid and decided to leave them up. You can get a feel by watching some videos and narrow down which to actually visit. Variety is good, you have a lot of options within 3-4 hours of most if Connecticut. I think Boston schools, New York city, UMass, UConn, some upstate NY schools. A lot depends on where his grades are. If he is high achieving, you could hit upa whole bunch of elite private schools in your general region. There are also a lot of private schools one step down in the area that he can hit. I'd narrow it down based on grades and general location. Hopefully his counselor will give you some ideas.

[formerlyak]

The other thing I will say is if you are taking any trips this summer, work driving around any campuses you are near part of the trip. Any time we go to a new city, we check out the college. In addition to helping DS see what he might like, many have beautiful grounds to walk around, places to grab a snack, go to the bathroom, some of the bigger ones have museums. The first time we went to UC Santa Barbara, we learned that they have a marine lab that kids can go learn in, so we visited it. My brother went there and I never knew it existed. My kids loved it. I went to UCLA and we have tons of museums on campus. When I worked at UC Riverside, they have one of the area's most diverse botanic gardens. Tons to see at a low cost on college campus to get a casual look at schools.

Last summer, we did a CA road trip and so I drove my family around San Jose State where I got one of my master's degrees. I was surprised that DS liked it and put it on his list as a good option for a safety school.

[definitelyO]

Jun 23, 2022 9:20:25 GMT -5 winnied said:

When I compared U of Michigan with a lecture hall that could fit more than my entire high school with the tiny school with a 12:1 student to prof ratio, it felt better for me.

100% - I went to UofM and my first class was organic chemistry 201 in a lecture hall that would have fit my high school and white boards that went up 3 levels. I had never experienced anything like it.   I graduated from UofM- but looking back it was too big of a school for me.


cjcouple, thanks for posting this - my DS will be a junior in the fall as well and we've just started talking about this.  We will be in MI in Sept and will tour UofM - but will also start with our local state colleges this summer 

[Poppy]

One thing I haven't seen mentioned - if he becomes interested in a particular school, maybe you or he knows a student there (a friend's older sibling?). I knew a girl from an extracurricular activity in high school that was in my major of interest at a school I was considering. She let me come up and stay the night and actually attend classes with her and stuff. It was sooooo helpful.

But even if they were willing to talk and answer some questions, that could give a lot of insight.

[beefjerky]

Jun 23, 2022 9:49:54 GMT -5 cjcouple said:

Jun 23, 2022 9:18:36 GMT -5 Cappy said:

Another higher ed person here--- Don't be afraid to mention that your kid is first gen (assuming they are -- meaning they don't have another parent who finished a bachelor's degree). Some schools have special programs or extra support to help for the very reasons you've outlined here -- this is all new to you!

Oh this is good to know.  I definitely feel like we could use a bit of support with the actual college lifestyle after he is in somewhere.     Especially since this is my son who had selective mutism until high school. 

 

Yes! I’m a first gen professor and we do a lot with our first gen students. It’s one of my favorite things to be a part of on campus. You may be able to find information about first gen programs and support on the websites.

[mrspez07]

As far as majors and areas of study, a friend has started conversations with her kid about more broad ideas, interests, and strengths to spur further thought and conversation to narrow down ideas for areas of study.
Things like:
What types of problems do you like to solve, or are good at solving?
What classes have been your favorite? Why? Least favorite? Why?
What are you good at and feel confident doing? What is hard or a struggle?

I think some of those types of questions could apply to college types. Preferences on places, crowds, being how far away from home, study abroad options, etc.

[sandandsea]

I started with colleges I could afford (with loans) and that were good at the major that I was interested in. I also looked that it was big and diverse enough that if I changed my mind in majors I wouldn’t have to change schools. I toured 3 and ended up choosing based on being #1 for my major. I was the first in my family to go to college and feel like I lucked into a great experience

For my kids I would also strongly look at recruiting from those schools. Do students there get placed in good jobs/careers after? For some majors it does t matter but for some it does. Also only looking at schools that they can afford without totally sacrificing their adult finances for the next 2 years. I also want them to be able to live on campus and away from home, but in a college environment. I think a lot of college is learning to adult and that is better away from parents.

[jennyparnassus]

Jun 23, 2022 18:13:05 GMT -5 Poppy said:

 She let me come up and stay the night and actually attend classes with her and stuff. It was sooooo helpful.

The college that I went to did that. A bunch of the guys on my school's basketball team hosted a high school kid that was a potential recruit in their dorm room for an overnight visit. They took him to a party and the high school kid had too much to drink and got really sick from drinking at the party. So, the kids who took him to the party ditched the high school kid in the lobby of a residence hall and left him  for somebody else to find. Then, my college's administration "handled it internally" so that it wouldn't end up in the local news. So, if your kid ends up spending the night on campus with someone, make sure that it's someone trustworthy. 

[circa1978]

Jun 23, 2022 19:09:19 GMT -5 jennyparnassus said:

Jun 23, 2022 18:13:05 GMT -5 Poppy said:

 She let me come up and stay the night and actually attend classes with her and stuff. It was sooooo helpful.

The college that I went to did that. A bunch of the guys on my school's basketball team hosted a high school kid that was a potential recruit in their dorm room for an overnight visit. They took him to a party and the high school kid had too much to drink and got really sick from drinking at the party. So, the kids who took him to the party ditched the high school kid in the lobby of a residence hall and left him  for somebody else to find. Then, my college's administration "handled it internally" so that it wouldn't end up in the local news. So, if your kid ends up spending the night on campus with someone, make sure that it's someone trustworthy. 

Isn't this an episode of the Gilmore Girls?

[redheadk]

Jun 23, 2022 18:13:05 GMT -5 Poppy said:

One thing I haven't seen mentioned - if he becomes interested in a particular school, maybe you or he knows a student there (a friend's older sibling?). I knew a girl from an extracurricular activity in high school that was in my major of interest at a school I was considering. She let me come up and stay the night and actually attend classes with her and stuff. It was sooooo helpful.

But even if they were willing to talk and answer some questions, that could give a lot of insight.

Piggybacking off this, if he’s interested in a smaller school or private school, ask around to see if you have a connection to anyone who went there who might be willing to talk to him. A few friends who are alumni of smaller private schools act are area ambassadors for their school. They stay up to date on the school and talk to prospective students.

[expectantsteelerfan]

I definitely agree with posters that said when you are just starting out, just going to a variety of schools is key. I feel like half my graduating class went to the big main state school that was 2 hours from the area I grew up in. I went to tour it, and I had to take a bus from the housing to the academic buildings, and I knew it wasn't for me. I also thought I might want to go to an out of state state school because they had an awesome program in the area I was interested in. I didn't really think anything about it being an out of state state school beyond the tuition/grant thing because I wasn't loyal to my own state/area/sports teams or anything, but I got there and everyone was SO gung-ho to that state and their sports teams and everything and I just felt lost and out of place and I knew that wasn't for me. When I toured the small liberal arts school in a small town where I could walk from one end of campus to the other and it was 4 hours from home (which ended up being perfect because it was far enough away that I wasn't running home at every chance I got, but if I needed something, like when my car had an issue, I really could get home pretty easily), it felt right.

[cmeon]

I love this post, cjcouple - such a good idea! I would be so grateful if you people with rising juniors go on and on and on about your family's experience with the experience this year (I seriously want it all). DS is just a year behind, so any day I'll blink and we'll be there, too!

[formerlyak]

Jun 23, 2022 21:51:40 GMT -5 cmeon said:

I love this post, cjcouple - such a good idea! I would be so grateful if you people with rising juniors go on and on and on about your family's experience with the experience this year (I seriously want it all). DS is just a year behind, so any day I'll blink and we'll be there, too!

Start now. Then when your DS has to pick classes for junior year, he can email admissions reps at the schools he likes to see if they have any recommendations. Example, the UC system list says 2 years of language other than English required, 3 recommended. Our high school counselor said always do the recommended. The admissions people at DS’ top schools said for the majors he’s looking at, they’d rather see an extra STEM elective. DS hated Spanish class because there was a lot of busy work, so he was happy to choose a STEM elective over a third year of language. We never would have known that if he didn’t email the admissions person and ask.

[cmeon]

Jun 23, 2022 22:13:34 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Jun 23, 2022 21:51:40 GMT -5 cmeon said:

I love this post, cjcouple - such a good idea! I would be so grateful if you people with rising juniors go on and on and on about your family's experience with the experience this year (I seriously want it all). DS is just a year behind, so any day I'll blink and we'll be there, too!

Start now. Then when your DS has to pick classes for junior year, he can email admissions reps at the schools he likes to see if they have any recommendations. Example, the UC system list says 2 years of language other than English required, 3 recommended. Our high school counselor said always do the recommended. The admissions people at DS’ top schools said for the majors he’s looking at, they’d rather see an extra STEM elective. DS hated Spanish class because there was a lot of busy work, so he was happy to choose a STEM elective over a third year of language. We never would have known that if he didn’t email the admissions person and ask.

That's great advice, thanks!!

He's in an IB diploma program, so that made some of this easy- the wiggle room in his schedule is pretty much- one elective wide!

[cjcouple]

Jun 23, 2022 23:13:01 GMT -5 cmeon said:

Jun 23, 2022 22:13:34 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

That's great advice, thanks!!

He's in an IB diploma program, so that made some of this easy- the wiggle room in his schedule is pretty much- one elective wide!

Ohhh, this sounds great!  

[cmeon]

Jun 24, 2022 7:08:52 GMT -5 cjcouple said:

Jun 23, 2022 23:13:01 GMT -5 cmeon said:

That's great advice, thanks!!

He's in an IB diploma program, so that made some of this easy- the wiggle room in his schedule is pretty much- one elective wide!

Ohhh, this sounds great!  

It's been a great fit so far for DS- we're really lucky to have it available in a public school.

I'm so excited for your son- he's overcome a lot to get to this point, and the world is just wide open. <3

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Jun 23, 2022 18:34:21 GMT -5 beefjerky said:

Jun 23, 2022 9:49:54 GMT -5 cjcouple said:

Oh this is good to know.  I definitely feel like we could use a bit of support with the actual college lifestyle after he is in somewhere.     Especially since this is my son who had selective mutism until high school. 

 

Yes! I’m a first gen professor and we do a lot with our first gen students. It’s one of my favorite things to be a part of on campus. You may be able to find information about first gen programs and support on the websites.

Yes yes! I’m a first gen student who is now a professor, I love mentoring first gen students. Ahh this is so exciting for him and you!

[cjcouple]

Jun 24, 2022 8:39:52 GMT -5 cmeon said:

Jun 24, 2022 7:08:52 GMT -5 cjcouple said:

Ohhh, this sounds great!  

It's been a great fit so far for DS- we're really lucky to have it available in a public school.

I'm so excited for your son- he's overcome a lot to get to this point, and the world is just wide open. <3

thanks!! It's truly unbelievable to me what a different kid he is. He's so confident and independent.❤️ It's all very exciting

[cjcouple]

Jun 25, 2022 6:34:15 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Jun 23, 2022 18:34:21 GMT -5 beefjerky said:

Yes! I’m a first gen professor and we do a lot with our first gen students. It’s one of my favorite things to be a part of on campus. You may be able to find information about first gen programs and support on the websites.

Yes yes! I’m a first gen student who is now a professor, I love mentoring first gen students. Ahh this is so exciting for him and you!

Truly relieved to find this out about some colleges.

[fryjack2]

Maybe strongly consider only schools in states that don’t restrict women’s healthcare or prosecute people who seek it