UPDATE IN OP— Who is paying?

[cricketwife]

H and I are reading this differently.  How do you interpret this?

This was the text message —

Hello! This is Joey and Susie’s mom. We are planning to head to [Arcade place] tomorrow from 1-4 for a mediocre birthday celebration that involves lots of extra tokens instead of cake!  Friend C is coming as well.  Let me know if you are up for bringing the boys! (Joey wanted to be sure I invite [DS2] too).

This is a pay per game/activity type of place.

poll options:

1. They are paying for both our kids.
2. They are paying for older son(bday boy’s friend), but not younger brother.
3. They expect us to pay for our children. 
4. something else? 

Either way we are going. 🥳 

UPDATE:
TLDR: She paid.
long version - We arrived at 1:20 and she promptly handed the kids game cards pre-loaded with $50 each.  A couple minutes after, the third friend arrived.  That mom suggested lanyards (free) for the cards so the kids could keep them around their neck, and said that customer service will do that. So we went to do that.  It was at least 1:40 by the time the kids started playing/spending.  By 2:20, the big kids were out or nearly out of money.  They shopped and spent all their points which took a while.  Host mom bought slushies for everyone and we all sat around and visited for a bit.  By then it was 3:15 or so and the big kids took off to “spend the rest of their money” (I was in the bathroom with DS2 - I think one of the big kids had a dollar or two left??? ) DS2 went for one last ride on the bumper cars with his remaining money. It was about 3:30 when other friend left and DS2 went to spend his points in the shop.  By the time bday family and our family left it was 3:45, so definitely not three hours with the later start, but a very fun afternoon!  And I was impressed she was able to fill the time with “only” $50 per kid, plus the cost of slushees.  Both parents came from the hosting family and the other family, so it was actually quite fun to have adults around to talk to. And we really liked both sets of other parents! 

[icedcoffee]

I think they’re paying for both. I’d bring your CC though. LOL

[momin2013]

#1, and bring a birthday gift (and also a CC just in case, lol)!

[yellow23]

I thought they were paying until she asked if you are up for bringing the boys. Something about the way it is worded makes it sound like everyone is just meeting up to play and they aren’t hosting. If she had asked if your boys can come I would think they were paying. I would be prepared either way because I think it’s unclear.

[mccallister84]

To me it sounds like she’s going to buy a set number of token that she’ll split between the kids. I’d be prepared to buy more.

[mofongo]

I think she’s paying, but where’s the cake?!

ETA: I think she’s at least paying for first few rounds of tokens!

[jaycee]

The way it is worded is confusing. I voted that YOU are paying but....it is really a 50/50 chance either way! Come back and let us know how it went as now I'm curious.

[scm1011]

The lots of extra tokens part leads me to believe she’s paying. Otherwise, why say that?

[moonpie]

I voted she’s paying.

This is why birthday parties stress me out! So many unknowns. Do I pay? Do I stay? Are they transporting or am I? I’ll do any of it, but please clearly phrase your expectations of me!

[scm1011]

Jun 24, 2022 19:02:03 GMT -5 moonpie said:

I voted she’s paying.

This is why birthday parties stress me out! So many unknowns. Do I pay? Do I stay? Are they transporting or am I? I’ll do any of it, but please clearly phrase your expectations of me!

YES. This is why I spell out what I’m serving, that we don’t want gifts, that you can stay or drop off, that siblings are welcome, etc. A couple months ago DS was invited to a birthday party at a pay to play place and it was A THING when we had DD stay home with DH. I get there and the mom is all “where is DD?” Uhh how was I to know she was invited?!

[felicity]

Cake would normally be shared and she said lots of extra tokens instead of cake so it sounds like she plans to share the extra tokens with both of your kids.

[expectantsteelerfan]

Jun 24, 2022 19:11:30 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Jun 24, 2022 19:02:03 GMT -5 moonpie said:

I voted she’s paying.

This is why birthday parties stress me out! So many unknowns. Do I pay? Do I stay? Are they transporting or am I? I’ll do any of it, but please clearly phrase your expectations of me!

YES. This is why I spell out what I’m serving, that we don’t want gifts, that you can stay or drop off, that siblings are welcome, etc. A couple months ago DS was invited to a birthday party at a pay to play place and it was A THING when we had DD stay home with DH. I get there and the mom is all “where is DD?” Uhh how was I to know she was invited?!

I feel like this poor mom was trying to be clear...they AREN'T serving cake, your younger son IS invited, YOU are responsible for transporting your kids, but she missed the mark on clarity for the tokens in trying to be clear on the rest.  Hopefully it was an oversight in trying to be clear on the other stuff that parents usually stress about and she just figured it was a given that if she invites your kids, she's providing the tokens, so I vote yes, she'd provide them both with at least a few rounds of tokens.  

[lessel]

Yeah, I think they’re paying. But in my experience at these types of places, tokens or points on cards go fast, so I’d be prepared to at least spend a bit. That’s a long time at an arcade.

[af1212]

They are buying lots of tokens to share amongst the kids in attendance but if your kids want more than that I would say you’re on your own.

No food will be served.

[cricketwife]

Jun 24, 2022 19:33:11 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

Jun 24, 2022 19:11:30 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

YES. This is why I spell out what I’m serving, that we don’t want gifts, that you can stay or drop off, that siblings are welcome, etc. A couple months ago DS was invited to a birthday party at a pay to play place and it was A THING when we had DD stay home with DH. I get there and the mom is all “where is DD?” Uhh how was I to know she was invited?!

I feel like this poor mom was trying to be clear...they AREN'T serving cake, your younger son IS invited, YOU are responsible for transporting your kids, but she missed the mark on clarity for the tokens in trying to be clear on the rest.  Hopefully it was an oversight in trying to be clear on the other stuff that parents usually stress about and she just figured it was a given that if she invites your kids, she's providing the tokens, so I vote yes, she'd provide them both with at least a few rounds of tokens.  

This is where I am. 

To lessel ‘s point, this conversation came about with H said “3 hours is a long time at an arcade!” and I started to do the math out loud on how much this is going to cost her to pay for all five kids for 3 hours!!  That’s when he said he doesn’t think she is paying.  And I said, that’s fine, but then we are not staying all 3 hours! 😜. I haven’t been to this particular place but their website shows like $8 per ride/experience thing (go karts, laser tag, bumper cars, amusement park-esque rides, etc). Plus the cost of arcade games ...for 3 HOURS?!  🤑🤑🤑.

We bought at gift and some helium balloons and we are prepared to spend some money at the place. If nothing else, there’s no way my kids will go all afternoon without food, lol. We like this family from the few interactions we’ve had with them so I’m hoping it will be a nice afternoon.  I will report back! 

[ECB]

It would be cheaper to serve food probably - downtime from playing games!! 😂

[ECB]

To add to the confusion - does this arcade have food? It could be they plan to buy food, but perhaps aren’t allowed to bring a cake/ it’s too annoying to bring a cake.

[waverly]

It sounds like by saying lots of extra tokens that they will give you some, but you are on your own for the $8 rides and food.

[circa1978]

I feel like I would be friends with that mom. If I had sent that message, it would mean I was inviting you to sit in a corner with me and drink while I threw tokens (on me) at the kids and sprung for food. Fancy birthday cakes/celebrations are expensive so I'd be like, fuck I'll just spend $$$ on tokens and save my energy. YMMV.

[af1212]

Jun 25, 2022 8:05:43 GMT -5 ECB said:

To add to the confusion - does this arcade have food? It could be they plan to buy food, but perhaps aren’t allowed to bring a cake/ it’s too annoying to bring a cake.

Good point! There is a kid place (not arcade) near me that allows you to come with friends but the second you say the word birthday or have a gift bag or a cake you are now paying for a birthday party which is way different price-wise.

[pooh8402]

Honestly, because of the ambiguity, I would assume that they're not paying for either kid to play games, and bring my card accordingly.

[isabel]

I think they’re paying. That’s what “lots of extra tokens instead of cake” meant to me. Like they’re footing the bill instead of paying for cake.

But, ya know, be prepared to pay just in case.

[sent]

I think they're having an unofficial birthday at this place. Hence telling you there is no cake. And that since there is no cake, they're going to pay for tokens for both of your kids.

FWIW, I took DS to a birthday party at one of these places where the invite specified they were paying for 1 kid and 1 adult. I brought my husband and DD and paid for them separately. They went off to do their own thing, independent of the birthday party we were attending. DD was done with everything including the arcade in just over an hour. It was misery for me being there for 2.5 hours with DS and the rest of the birthday party crew of crying 3 and 4 year olds. 

[icedcoffee]

Holy shit that $50 only went 40 minutes. That place is overpriced!

[cricketwife]

Jun 25, 2022 16:31:34 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

Holy shit that $50 only went 40 minutes. That place is overpriced!

Ha! The irony is I was telling H how “reasonable” it was for an arcade!  🤣🤣🤣. There’s a place nearer to us that we will only go to on “half-price Wednesday” and I noticed that the “half-price” prices were the same as this place’s regular prices.  😳. I feel like it’s always $1/minute at an arcade which is why I like to avoid them!

[Poeticxpassion]

cricketwife, we only go to Dave and Busters for half price Wednesday. I will not go any other day. What is this arcade place?

[notsopicky]

Jun 25, 2022 14:01:53 GMT -5 sent said:

I think they're having an unofficial birthday at this place. Hence telling you there is no cake. And that since there is no cake, they're going to pay for tokens for both of your kids.

This. We did it in April. You can reserve a party room at the place (it was Dave & Buster's), but we've done that before and it was way off the gaming floor, huge (not necessary for our friend group) and not fun. So E just invited 5 of his besties from school, we bought everybody lunch, gave them $50 or so in gaming credit, and sat at a regular table. It was THE BEST birthday party ever, so much so that E wants to do it again next year. We did desserts from the place about 1/2 way through the party. 

Definitely recommend. WAY cheaper than any other birthday party I've ever hosted. 

[niq]

Jun 25, 2022 16:31:34 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

Holy shit that $50 only went 40 minutes. That place is overpriced!

That was my reaction too. The kids need to learn to find the cheap games and/or the ones they're good at and can play for a long time on one quarter!