Update in OP: FIL losing house due to not paying taxes

[jlt19]

Jul 20, 2022 15:35:08 GMT -5 @rebeccawelton said:

I just saw your update. I am so sorry. Watching parents and their connection to stuff that is trash take priority over you as their child is devastating. I am so sorry your husband is going through this.

Definitely this. MIL’s attachment to trash has been a big part of the estrangement with her kids. SIL #2 let her stay at her house earlier this month because she was “between rentals” for 2 weeks. SIL just happened to be away for 10 of those days.

The day she came home, MIL was at work and I happened to be at SIL #1’s house (we live 2 hours from them). We FaceTimed as SIL#2 toured her house. Her basement was full of boxes and her backyard was pooled with what is now garbage because of rain and 100+ degree heat. One table’s laminate peeled right off. Broken things, empty old toy boxes (like the box with clear plastic on it that a new Barbie would come in), literal trash from the past 40+ years.

and I guarantee MIL took it with her to the new house. If she didn’t, SIL will have trashed it all and I’m sure a screaming match ensued.

[ECB]

Ditto to what others said - I'm glad your DH is setting boundaries, as hard as that may be! But his father's bad choices his ENTIRE LIFE can't become your responsibility to solve.

[Deleted]

Jul 20, 2022 20:20:05 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Jul 20, 2022 15:35:08 GMT -5 @rebeccawelton said:

I just saw your update. I am so sorry. Watching parents and their connection to stuff that is trash take priority over you as their child is devastating. I am so sorry your husband is going through this.

Definitely this. MIL’s attachment to trash has been a big part of the estrangement with her kids. SIL #2 let her stay at her house earlier this month because she was “between rentals” for 2 weeks. SIL just happened to be away for 10 of those days.

The day she came home, MIL was at work and I happened to be at SIL #1’s house (we live 2 hours from them). We FaceTimed as SIL#2 toured her house. Her basement was full of boxes and her backyard was pooled with what is now garbage because of rain and 100+ degree heat. One table’s laminate peeled right off. Broken things, empty old toy boxes (like the box with clear plastic on it that a new Barbie would come in), literal trash from the past 40+ years.

and I guarantee MIL took it with her to the new house. If she didn’t, SIL will have trashed it all and I’m sure a screaming match ensued.

That is so hard. And you feel so helpless as a child trying to navigate this. 


You may recall my difficulties getting my hoarder mother out of her house in Texas and moving her to Florida. That happened in October. She is still angry at my aunt for the stuff that she got rid of (because my mom basically laid in bed and refused to help despite wanting to move to Florida and admitting everything couldn't go) and has started collecting crap from the trash pile at her apartment complex again. 

[livinitup]

Gosh, with that update, I am so glad you didn’t buy that house.

[niq]

Oh my word, I'm so sorry about this all.

[spinnaker5]

Thank you for taking the time to update, and adding on to the kudos for your H in setting very reasonable boundaries, and also to you as his partner in all this. Stay strong, keep those blocks turned on (and maybe he can find a way to mute the group text if they don’t take him off of it).

[flygirl]

I had a feeling based off the situation that something like that would happen. I know it is hard and doesn’t make sense but you and your H just need to have your own boundaries and not be sucked into their drama.