TWERKS, Randoms, Updates, Etc.

[186momx]

I drove DD to her private yesterday so was home early from work.  DD gets out of school at 2:10 and normally calls me at 2:30ish saying she was home.  I got home at 2:25 as her private was at 3.  It was 2:40 and no DD and I was out front looking up and down the street and really starting to freak out.  Ms D asked DD to stay after school for 2 minutes which turned into 15 minutes.  She was giving her extra work and going over an assignment DD choose to redo when she was home sick last week.  DD could tell I was freaking out and kept apologizing.  I said it was fine to stay after but next time have her teacher message me, so I know and don't think something bad has happened.  

[twinmomma]

DD2 has been struggling with her own emotions and the changes at her dad's house since his fiancée left him. Last night I ended up taking her out to dinner just the two of us so we could talk. It was really helpful and something I need to make happen more often for her and DD1. DD1's mom/daughter date night will be this weekend at some point. She's already looking forward to it.

This week at school is rough. A child from our school passed away tragically this week. We didn't know him personally, but it's a small school and it's hitting everyone in the community really hard.

We're looking forward to the weekend for some family time.

[supertrooper1]

186momx, I would be so upset with the teacher for not letting me know! I start to get anxious when DS's bus is only 5 minutes late. I even put an air tag in his backpack.

Ex-H's attorney is supposed to be drafting the final divorce paperwork. My attorney emailed her and said that I received my letter from the state bar saying I would be reimbursed separately for our stolen house money, so we should be able to close the last issue too. His attorney's response was "remind me, what was the last issue?" Uh...the only issue we didn't resolve in our settlement conference and the subject of my attorney's email <insert facepalm>.

[mae0111]

supertrooper1, your ex-H seems to have a knack for picking lawyers...

Yesterday we had parent teacher conferences. The first one started at 230, the school is 20-25 mins away. He booked DD2's and I booked DD1's.
We each put one in the shared google calendar. We discussed what we were going to talk about since we only have 10 mins for each one. We talked about what a busy day it would be. He told me he had to miss DD2's Mass and presentation the day before because he had to block his calendar for the conferences. THE CONFERENCES WERE DISCUSSED AT LENGTH.

I had a 2pm call with DD2's NP that manages her meds. I told him about 7,354 times that I would be taking the call from the car, at 2pm, WHILE WE WERE DRIVING TO SCHOOL.

So at 1:58 I get into his car and start the call. At 2:02 I text and tell him that I'm waiting. At 2:04 I text and ask where he is. At 2:05 I jump into the driver's seat and start driving away from the house, as he's running down the driveway. My call cuts out because he puts his own phone on blue tooth in the middle of the call. So I have to text DD2 to just jump on and talk to the NP alone.

He TOTALLY FORGOT that we are not located AT THE SCHOOL, and he didn't factor in any sort of travel time. He knew they weren't zooms, because he stated that he was annoyed by that.

I'm so f-ing sick of having to micromanage every single person and thing in this house. I'm not equipped for it.

[supertrooper1]

mae0111, all 4 attorneys he has used were well known in the divorce attorney community as competent. Even the one that stole our money. Yet he still wants to file a malpractice suit against my first attorney for allowing the money to be stolen by his attorney. She didn't do anything wrong and the only reason I switched is because she didn't take cases to court anymore.

And Mae...I really hope you can find a way to not have to micromanage your family. It's not fair to you. You already discussed conferences with your H, it's his problem he missed the bus and I'm glad you drove away. They need to learn from consequences.

[waverly]

We had parent teacher conferences. DS is smart but lacks executive function and putting in the effort. DD is doing fantastic.

Also, as I posted in the sports thread, DS made the school BB team. This is our first time playing a school sport, so we'll see how it goes.

[traveltheworld]

We had our parent teacher conferences. Both kids are doing fine academically. Dd struggles to connect with other kids socially, and DS reads instead of paying attention in class; but we knew both of those are issues, so no surprises there.

Funny comment - DS's teacher commented that he's resorted to confiscating DS's books, but DS just keeps bringing more. They are now at 13 books. I was mildly amused and told him he's still far from last year's record of 27. I also did promise to check DS's backpack more diligently so thwt he's not just "sneaking" more books to school.

[k3am]

In another example of my kids getting screwed out of things at school.. students are no longer allowed to play on the playgrounds or grass at recess and lunch, apparently, due to a shortage of yard duty supervisors. Le sigh.

[sdlaura]

k3am that's insane! Is it just a ploy to get more parents to volunteer?

[k3am]

sdlaura, I wish I knew? We also don't have a crossing guard this year, since they couldn't get anyone to sign up for the position. It just sucks that our kids are the ones that miss out.

[sdlaura]

k3am our district pays crossing guards and lunch monitors, and also asks for volunteers. I don't do it because FT job, but I'm super appreciative of the parents who volunteer.

[k3am]

Nov 4, 2022 14:05:02 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

k3am our district pays crossing guards and lunch monitors, and also asks for volunteers. I don't do it because FT job, but I'm super appreciative of the parents who volunteer.

Our district does the same. But for someone who NEEDS a job, $16/hour for 1-2 hours a day isn’t all that compelling. Even McDonald’s pays more than that and you get a full shift.

I’m hopeful that the tales of woe from the kids will convince parents who can to volunteer. But doubtful.

[sdlaura]

New experience today - a woman called the police after I let my toddler finish his nap in the car.

We had a super busy day today and 2.5-year-old DS2 fell asleep on our way to DD’s softball tournament, which was at a very safe residential neighborhood park. I found a parking spot in the shade very close to the field where she was playing (it was also like 60 degrees out), rolled down the windows, and walked about 30 feet to stand on the sidewalk and watch DD’s softball game while looking back at the car every few minutes.

Occasionally someone would walk by and notice the sleeping toddler and look around for a parent, I would wave, they’d go on their way. Apparently I didn’t do it within the two minutes that some woman came by, looked around and called the police. I look over at one point to see a woman and a female police officer staring into the car at him. So I walk over, ask if there’s a problem, officer says ‘it’s not a good idea to not be in the car with him’ I say ‘ok, sorry’ and wake him up and carry him back over to the area where my parents and other kids and other softball families are standing.

The woman followed the police officer and kept talking - I assume she was embarrassed to have called the police when all was well and wanted to make her case that my son was unsafe? I don’t know. So then 5 minutes later I’m sitting and watching the game and a male police officer walks over. He asks me some simple enough questions that it sounded like he just wanted to be able to walk back to the woman and say he talked to me. I thanked him for his concern and told him we were fine and he went away. There were enough other softball parents and my mom standing there angry on my behalf, that I managed to stay super calm. Later as I was watching my son play on the playground, I was definitely as far from him as I had been when he was in the car, and he wasn’t strapped into a 5-point harness, and no one batted an eye. It was just such a waste of police resources and very weird experience - I’ve been a mom for 10 years and never had the police called on me!

[waverly]

I’m sorry that happened to you sdlaura.

It’s not a hot car situation and it’s pretty obvious that the parent is nearby watching the game.

[k3am]

DH’s company announced layoffs are coming up. They won’t be on the scale of twitter layoffs and hitting half the company, but what they’ll be is unclear.

DH feels pretty confident in his role; but I’m a pessimist and worry wart. Rumor has it an announcement will happen on Wednesday, so at least it’s not too long to wait.

[waverly]

k3am, I keep seeing articles about the “tech industry”. Any idea what are the issues that led to layoffs? Not including Twitter.

[dglvrk2]

sdlaura, wow! I'm so sorry. Some people definitely don't have enough to do.

I haven't had the police called on me .. but a few years ago, I parked my car directly in front of the dry cleaners. Both dds, then ages 8 and 5ish, opted to stay in the car while I walked the the ten feet into the store to pick up the dry cleaning. Temps were 50-70 degrees and I was away from the car all of four minutes and could see the kids the entire time.

Four minutes was long enough for Karen to park her car, watch my car until I came out and recite her thesis to me about how worried she was about my "poor" girls.

Mind you, we lived in a very safe town and the car doors were locked....

People....

[k3am]

waverly, primarily recession and revenues dropping.

At DH's company for specifics (according to DH, I have no first hand knowledge), it's partially that it's long over due. In the ordinary course of things, low performers would be weeded out pretty expidiously... during the pandemic, people were mostly staying put. They automatically gave everyone full bonuses, a ton of accomodations, and people just.. weren't managed out the way they would have been normally. So some of this is just playing catch up. They started out by just not backfilling roles vs. laying off, but that wasn't getting them the numbers that they wanted.

DH thinks his role is pretty safe. The area he works in is the one that the company is investing in heavily in, and while most people have lost headcount, he's consistently getting more. So fingers (and legs and eyes and whatnot) are all crossed. But it will still suck since some of the people that go will likely be people that DH (and maybe I) know and like.

[sdlaura]

Fingers crossed for your DH and friends, k3am!

dglvrk2, I feel like parents can't win. On the one hand, our generation gets criticized for coddling and overscheduling our kids instead of letting them run wild and "be kids" and just come home when it's time for dinner. But then we can't leave kids alone in a safe car for a few minutes. It's nuts.

[waverly]

sdlaura , yes for sure. My H has decided he is a "free range parent". And I am not. I am a "give them boundaries appropriate to age and maturity and then check on them parent," whatever that means. DS in particular is immature with poor executive function. So even within my own household, I am getting criticized for coddling and overscheduling yet who gets judged when DS forgets his snow boots and plays in the snow without them? That's right, the mom, not the dad. I've asked DH to stop his critique, and he has agreed but it took several years and a CTJ talk for him to agree. WTF? A lot of his free range is him not wanting to parent. I am sure this will be very unpopular with DH, but I fully intend to hold DS back on driving. There is no way he will be mature enough to drive at 14/15/16. I feel like he should wait until 17/18. We shall see....

To be clear, I have no issue with free range for other kids who are mature enough to handle it. Mine is just not there at 12 yet. Can he walk home from school 1.2 miles and not get lost, yes. But can he go into the locker room to find the kid he is supposed to walk home with, that was an epic fail leading to the other parents freaking out and calling me while I am on the freeway telling me my kid is missing.  Every kid and family is different and Karens (society) should just STFU.