Thanksgiving week: Randoms, vents, updates

[186momx]

Because at some point I think we will all have something to say.

[186momx]

Venting: My mom hosts Thanksgiving every year. It is just DD and myself (DH chooses to not attend) and my brother & sister. Last year mom assigned us each something to bring. This year she is asking DD (11) to bring desserts, me to bring vegetables, my brother to bring breakfast for Friday, and my sister is bringing wine. Both my siblings live an hour away and are staying overnight while DD and I will drive the 5 minutes home. I got annoyed that DD and I have to bring two things. Then I was talking to my mom Sunday, and she is talking about all these deserts/treats she needs to make this week and "I went um I thought we were bringing desert?" My mom is also making desert because she wants to make sure there is a desert she will eat. DD and I are doing pumpkin and apple pies same as the year before. I vented to my dad, and he said he would tell mom to not make desert, but he can't control what she does any more than I can. I also told him we will be over at 4 (dinner is between 5-6) and that no one is supposed bug me about when we are coming.

DH is already humbugging it and complaining about being stuck home for 4 days with nothing to do.
I'm not looking forward to my long weekend.

[mommyatty]

We’ve just had a really awful week for a lot of reasons I won’t go into. But I think things are looking up. MIL had hand surgery today and it went well. She’s doing well. I have a mammogram in the morning. Hoping that goes well.

I can’t tell if I’m getting sick. I hope not but part of me thinks it’s the only way I’m going to get the rest I need.

[cjcouple]

My turkey is still frozen solid despite moving it from the freezer to the fridge early Sunday (12 lb bird). Into a sink of water it goes   

[waverly]

MIL and FIL have Covid, so I feel bad for them. It was going to be the first Thanksgiving that we hosted for family in 3 years due to the pandemic. But, now that they have Covid we are going to the lake house instead, so I think that will be nice. DH is leaving tonight so he can do food prep, and I have to work, so that is a bummer because I have to drive separately. It's not a terrible drive, but I am not going tonight in traffic, so I have to drive tomorrow morning.

My mom is coming, and while she is excited to see the house for the first time, she has no filter, so I am sure there will be 800 comments and complaints. She literally cannot help herself, but I hope she isn't too annoying so we can just relax and enjoy.

[supertrooper1]

186momx, I get that it's frustrating having to bring two things when everyone else is bringing one and it's more work for you. But my family has always had the philosophy that you can't have too many dessert options on Thanksgiving. I think last year we had so many options that each person could have had their own pie.

I'm still waiting on signatures for my divorce paperwork to be filed. I'm worried that if it takes too long, we'll miss our "stack court" date on Monday if it's not signed and he decides to have the court decide on one issue. At this point I don't know if I need to take Monday off for court and I need to know today.

[librarychica]

supertrooper1, same on the dessert and food front. We are having a post-thanksgiving family meal since my brother is working the actual day. My mom asked me to bring a cherry pie. She will have pumpkin. I would not be shocked if she also had apple. My daughter is making cupcakes and the other daughter and I are in charge of breads — one of which will be banana bread and that’s basically a dessert. I’ll also make rolls, I think. I have considered making scones too but may be overkill. H will make his famous cranberry sauce.

Brother is bringing 2 vegetables, mom and dad have turkey and dressing and I’m sure there will be masked potatoes. Oh and dad is smoking a ham. I’m sure he will also make deviled eggs because he usually does.

There are 7 of us. Every thanksgiving I am eating pie for a week after. I am sure I will also leave with a pile of ham — I’ll definitely be making ham and bean soup — and turkey. I’m not mad. I’m here for the leftovers.

[librarychica]

I meant mashed potatoes but I am leaving it. I enjoy the masked potato mental image.

[dglvrk2]

186momx, I’m sorry. This sounds like something my mom would do until I called her on it.

My vent is about Christmas. My sister and I live 45 minutes from each other. Our parents live several states away. For several years, definitely since I got married 16+ years ago, I’ve always had to take the initiative in connecting with my parents I know they love me and I love them. I was extremely independent as a kid/young adult and am not prone to over sharing with them. They developed a habit of not reaching out to me during my teens and 20’s and never broke it. Conversely, my mom and sister talk every day. In my weekly phone call to them last week, I asked what their plans were for Christmas. They didn’t have any plans and seemed down about this. They shared that they’d like to come visit me and my sister, but don’t want to impose…..This is new. They’ve never been concerned about “imposing” before.

My sister and I will both be home for Christmas Day, opening gifts with our children then getting together afterwards for late lunch/early dinner and family gifts. We’d love to have my parents for this.

If my parents come, however, they’d stay for at least a week and stay with me since I have more space than my sister does. My mom can be hard to host for a long period of time (my dad is easy). While my mom makes no effort to reach out to me while she’s at her home, she cannot hold back from making comments about my house keeping and cooking (or lack thereof). ( waverly, I get you!!) She wants to “help” me with these things, but her help is more work for me. In terms of “imposing,” I get the feeling my mom is not comfortable at my house and sometimes bored because I don’t let her just take over everything when she’s here.

I wish I could either relax more about this or, better yet, they lived closer so a trip to visit me and my sister wouldn’t need to be a week+ ordeal.

[campermom]

PDQ

[vasc]

H and I are in the mountains 3 hours away from home celebrating our 12th year anniversary. Kids have been home with my ILs but they’re all driving up to join us and will be here this afternoon.

We’ve done a lot of hiking and exploring of small downtowns (Boone, Blowing Rock, NC).

We hiked a trail at Grandfather Mountain on Monday that turned out to be for hikers more experienced than us. It was terrifying (vertical ladders up cliffs) and we’ve never been so scared in our lives.



Scary ass cliffs

[mommyatty]

librarychica, that sounds heavenly to me.

I have a turkey on Day 2 of dry brining in my fridge. Just put the pumpkin pie DD made by herself (except putting in/getting out of the oven) into the fridge. I’m making a chocolate pound cake later because DH doesn’t love pie. Then tomorrow I’ll roast the turkey, plus make mashed potatoes, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, carrots, and gravy. I may make the sweet potato casserole tonight and rewarm it tomorrow. I love Thanksgiving but at some point tomorrow I’m going to be highly annoyed no one will help me. MIL only ever wants to bring this apricot jello monstrosity that she and DH like. The rest of us think it looks like chilled dog vomit. Can’t she just make the effing carrots?

[k3am]

Happy 40th birthday to me. My sister came up and watched the kids for what we think may have been our first two night trip away in at least 5 years. We had a nice time wine tasting, joined a new wine club, hiked, and ate all the food.

DH and I did a birthday hike today, and I scheduled myself a massage and a facial. And then they called to cancel my massage. And a couple hours later the facial. And then acted SHOCKED that I couldn’t make it back in the next 8 days before my credits expired. So I’m bummed about that. My 30th birthday also had some disappointments, but the decade still turned out good, so I’m trying not to dwell.

[supertrooper1]

Happy birthday k3am!

[mae0111]

Happy birthday k3am!

We are at MILs for Thanksgiving. BIL is still cooking despite his COVID. I had the timing wrong so he’s further into it than was relayed to me (which happens often). I’m in charge of mashed potatoes. I usually make them in the instant pot, so I’m hoping they turn out ok.

dglvrk2 my parents are similar. I’ve always been more independent and better about boundaries, but that meant that my mom never helped out when my kids were little, never calls, etc. She was/is at the ready for mu sisters, even one that lives 3000 miles away (we lived 3 miles away when my kids were little, and she made a stink about coming over when I was in labor with dd2).

We have a Christmas mess too. We always host. Every year. And my mom announced that she was very happy to never host Christmas again. But this year, she announced that she wanted to host. It’s because it’s easier for my sister who was planning to travel with 2 young kids. Ok, fine.

Sister tells mom (and no one else) that she’s not coming. Fine, she has good reasons to cancel. So my mom tells me that I’m hosting. Again, fine. So I invited them and my other sister and DH invited BIL and his family to stay with us for Christmas.

Sister is now waffling. I know she’s going to blow up plans. Because if she comes, she will insist that my mom host and my parents won’t come.

Holidays are stressful… I make sure we have plenty of wine and cookies.

[waverly]

Someone offered to close at work for me so I was able to go with my family yesterday to the lake house. DD and I have the most annoying cold. We aren’t truly sick just tons of congestion (tested negative for Covid and we all had influenza last month). So I got up at 6 because of the congestion. It’s still dark even though it’s 7:15 (different time zone than our residence), so that’s weird ha ha.

DH is cooking and mom gets here at 1. No Christmas drama anymore since ILs are sick that kind of fell off, so whatever happens happens even though it’s only a month away. Oh well.

Happy Birthday k3am.

[traveltheworld]

Happy birthday k3am!

[vasc]

My ILs and the kids joined us for the week on Wednesday. FIL can’t stop complaining about how high we are in the mountains, the scary winding roads, feelings of falling. I’m like….it’s a mountain cabin. DUH.

[rere]

Happy birthday k3am !

Vent 1: FedEx has lost Ds's snowboard. It say delivered. It is not. I have checked every house on my street. So far I contacted FedEx who seems fairly useless and Amazon. I need that snowboard, it is his big gift.

Vent 2: My mom is becoming completely obnoxious. She wanted me to host Thanksgiving because he boyfriend reconnected with his adult daughter. He has 2 other daughters with husbands and 3 grandchildren. New daughter shows up with a husband, who talked constantly and 5 kids. So basically, I worked my butt off for her Thanksgiving, because out of 20 people, I was only related to 5. And she starts the entire day blowing in demanding everyone stop and listen to her story about breaking a dish. Told us we NEED TO LISTEN TO HER. Then she took a shot of tequila. At noon. As she left, i heard her tell one of the people I don't know it was like a Hallmark movie. Well if the main character was cussing under her breath most of the day and downed a glass of wine or two after they left, then yes.

Non vent: Ds was able to go to my brother's 4 hrs from base,took 8 because I95 was a nightmare. But my brother took great care of him and Ds somehow discovered he liked pumpkin pie. I got a pic of him and my niece and nephews all sprawled out watching a movie last night.

[186momx]

Happy birthday 🎂 k3am

My mom made apple pizza pie yesterday morning. Both my sibs told her we weren't having it because DD and I made desserts and they would take it hone with them.

DH made smoked mac and cheese for himself and then got a last minute invite to his bosses house foe lunch. I have a 13×9 pan full of Mac and cheese that only DH likes.
DD is having and aunt/uncle day tomorrow so she can get away from cranky DH. He is driving me bonkers and it is only 1.

[sdlaura]

Happy birthday k3am! I’m sorry about the cancellations.

We had a total whirlwind of the past 5+ days of having my sister and her family in town. I’m exhausted after capping it off with hosting thanksgiving for 18 people. But we sort of have it down now after hosting every year. Luckily DH makes 2/3 of the dishes. It was 75 and sunny here yesterday so it was perfect for the turkey trot, time at the beach, and our outdoor thanksgiving dinner.

The cousins love each other so much, and it’s so perfect that her 3 and my older 3 are all close in their ages. It makes me sad that we live 3,000 miles apart, but we get pretty good quality time 3 weeks out of every year (they also come here for spring break and we go there at some point each year). My BIL just sold one of his businesses, so now he only has a seasonal one and they might be able to come out here even more.

[mae0111]

Dinner yesterday was great, with one exception…

My kids are picky. But I make them eat holiday meals. So each kid had a little turkey, some raw veggies because they don’t like them cooked, and a huge homemade roll. Before dinner they ate a million chips, crackers, and a ton of fruit. And for dessert, since they won’t eat pie, they ate big ice cream sandwiches from a local shop. So it was fine and they were fine.

Dh’s cousin, mid-30’s, no kids, can barely hold down a part time job despite having 2 masters degrees from one of the best colleges in the country, informed me that dd2 has an eating disorder because she only ate one slice of Turkey.

Huh. Ok. You’ve spent 75 minutes with her since 2019, but please, tell me more. Or, you know, STFU.

[twinmomma]

We are having a great trip so far. We are at Beau’s sister’s house and have 9 adults and 7 kids here. The kids are all perfect ages close together to hang out and occupy themselves so we’ve barely seen them except when they emerge for food. It’s been awesome to have so much adult hang out time. I have eaten so much food already and his sisters just keep cooking. Thanksgiving with three chefs/cookbook authors is definitely amazing!

[livinitup]

We are back home and since my ILs are still in town (they usually snow bird to FL) we had that side of the family over for a fancy lunch. It was a big hit ! I did way too many things from scratch but it was delicious and maybe next time I won’t go overboard with cooking. Maybe I will remember this when I host Christmas Eve?

No regerts !

[twinmomma]

I may have spoken too soon… niece had a fever the day we arrived but was otherwise fine. She masked up, negative test, energy levels were normal. DD1 got a brief fever Saturday night. Same thing, otherwise fine, it’s gone now. Another kid, same thing. A couple of the adults now have obvious colds but they are the childless ones so we are assuming they don’t have built in parent immunity like the rest of us. Clearly some little bug circulating a full house.

None of this was a big deal… until Beau’s son got the fever yesterday. I feel like such a b*tch but I really wish he had the ability to suck it up a bit. There’s been constant tears from Beau’s son, whining, refusing to take medicine, claiming he can’t sleep, just generally being miserable. I get it, he doesn’t feel good. But I have a hard time with him dragging everyone else down when all the other kids have persevered and been basically fine in 24 hours. Poor beau is doing everything g he can to try and make him feel better. And of course now Beau’s ex is all worried and made beau take him to urgent care so they’re spending our last day sitting in the waiting room there instead of getting to visit with his cousins. So I’m torn between being super frustrated and feeling like a complete jerk.

[waverly]

We had a great time (minus my severe cold which attacked my sinuses with a vengeance). My mom was ok behaved. Still lots of comments but some awareness. Plus the kids are older so it’s not like 50 comments standing there while I am wrestling a toddler into clothes which is totally something she would do. Being in vacation mode helps too and the fact that we have housecleaners. Back to the real world.

I made everyone unpack. Took away the switch for DS’s too low grades and DD is practicing her flute. DS says he is trying his best but I saw one assignment and it’s clearly not his best work. Anyone have experience with a kid who gets A’s and F’s? It’s just so inconsistent. He ended the trimester with A’s and B’s and now has C’s and D’s one week into the new trimester. I don’t get it.