What age do you start involving your kids in getting gifts for family members like siblings/parents? How do you do it so it goes smoothly?
My kid is 4, and is always talking about getting people presents, but also is still in the choosing things she likes stage. Last time I tried to involve her in choosing a present I ended up just feeling like a jerk because everything she chose I said no to. It was either too expensive, absolute junk, or something that was clearly for herself not the recipient. So do you prechoose a few things and let them choose? Let them get something that isn't a "good" gift? Am I just overthinking this? Lol.
For birthday parties with presents (rare here), I pick two things and let her pick between them. She gets a say but birthday kid gets something appropriate. Win-win.
My kids are 2 and 5. I took 5 to a store (one with a limited selection lol, not Target) and helped her pick out a toy for her sister. I tried to discuss rather than just say no (That one is very big, would she be sad if she had less room to play? That one has lots of small pieces, do you think sister is old enough to keep them away from the dog, etc.) For my 2yo, I showed her a photo of a toy on my phone and asked if she wanted to give it to her sister for Christmas and she said yes.
Mine is 9 and into buying gifts for others, but when it comes to Christmas and buying for DH and I, I'm really trying to steer her toward doing something as a family vs spending money.
I do include her on birthday gifts for friends because she knows them better than I do.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Dec 13, 2022 7:54:16 GMT -5
At that age I had my daughter make ornament crafts for the grandparents. Once they were in elementary school, they either had art projects that we ordered through the school as gifts for the grandparents (like on notebooks or magnets or whatever) or they shopped at the school 'holiday store' and helpers at least tried to steer them in the right direction for each person.
I think it's super important for kids to give a gift. Mine usually have a gift they made at school to give. I take mine to a local chocolate shop. They have a small section that is toys but I say no toys, just a candy treat. They have individually wrapped chocolate covered oreos or taffy or whatever. I also make them pay $10 of their own money for this (and I pay the rest). They buy for their two grandparents, one aunt, one uncle, two cousins, mom, dad, and brother. It works really well for us and they're so proud on christmas to have something to give that they picked out and paid for.
Post by mccallister84 on Dec 13, 2022 8:36:31 GMT -5
We have taken them to 5 below and have them pick out something. We make them justify why they are picking it out for x person and then they can get whatever they want for them.
This year they went to a holiday shop and we gave them $20 each to buy presents for us. They spent $3.75. I am not sure whether to be insulted or impressed.
Only 1 of mine is interested; I started taking her to the dollar store about age 6 ish to pick things out for people. Now that she's 10 I may take her to 5 below this year as well. She really loves gift giving so I am happy to oblige. My other kid isn't interested and I don't pressure him.
C is 9. She (or we) make things for family. Last year she helped me make ornaments on the Cricut. The year she's making everyone a magnet for the fridge from a kit I got on Amazon. For us, she talks to me about what she wants to give her dad and talks to him about what he wants to give me. We both make sure she contributes to the gift financially which she is always happy to do.
We typically do not bother with this. It’s just too hard/too much going on/too many people. And someone’s always sick, plus December and January birthdays. DH used to take my oldest out to pick up little things for her siblings just at Walgreens or something, but now they are all too big for that, and he would have to make four separate outings bc everyone would want a turn.
My kids exchange books amongst each other. I take them each to Barnes and Noble in November or December and we get a little one on one time and usually get something from the cafe and then they pick a book for each of their siblings. A lot of times now they tell siblings which books they would like before their shopping trip. When they were younger I knew which books would be good to give so I steered them towards those.
DH and I don’t really exchange gifts so we don’t involve the kids much in that aspect. Sometimes we take them to help pick stocking stuffers for the parent, but I don’t feel bad saying no that’s too expensive or not really something they would like, that’s how they learn those things.
Post by luckystar2 on Dec 13, 2022 10:28:42 GMT -5
No siblings and really we just do family gifts to other family members. For me and dh we usually will ask her for opinions on gifts for the other. I don’t do a ton of in person shopping so I usually would ask her what she wants to get her dad and then we’d look online at things. Dh and I really don’t need anything so I don’t really need her spending her own money to buy something extra for us. So she usually just has input on the few gifts we get each other.
I do recall one year when she was pretty young that my present “from her” was a Rapunzel doll 🤣 to be fair Rapunzel is the first movie we took her to see in theater and I actually really loved that movie and the memory of taking her. While I did not need a Rapunzel doll - I actually found the thought super sweet. I wish dh would have tried to steer her more towards a Rapunzel figurine or something but I think she was pretty adamant about a doll. She was young so I think she thought - she likes dolls so why wouldn’t I. It’s a sweet memory now so I am glad she had some input.
Post by gerberdaisy on Dec 13, 2022 10:44:16 GMT -5
My kids are 5 and 8, we probably started about 3 for buying gifts for parents and siblings. Our school does the Penguin Patch, which they love and buy little gifts (mainly junk, but they're so excited to give it) for parents and siblings. Then we'll take them shopping to pick out gift for their sibling.
With DD, starting around 5 we would talk about other people to buy for, a cousin, grandparents. We do this more on a case by case basis, but encouraged cards and other thoughtful gestures. She now uses her own money to buy gifts too.
DS its been a little harder, he wants "two for me, one for you". But this year (5) has turned around a lot and was so excited to buy a gift for his sister.
Not to mention, they love the feeling (and I love seeing) how happy they are when they see their sibling open their gift.
Post by lemoncupcake on Dec 13, 2022 10:54:01 GMT -5
Starting around 3 I had them start getting presents for each other, and we usually take them shopping to get a gift for each parent too.
They’re really good at getting stuff for their sister (they are close in age and have similar interests). Sometimes the things we receive are a little weird but it’s the sentiment that counts.
We also always have them pick out gifts for the birthday parties they attend
Post by W.T.Faulkner on Dec 13, 2022 11:33:37 GMT -5
My son will be 4 years old next week, and this is his first Christmas as a big brother. I took him to Target to find a present for his 10 month-old sister. It was...not easy...for many of the reasons you listed above, lol. I did say no where appropriate, and ultimately gave him suggestions to pick from.
I think my kids really understood gifting at 5-6. Before that, I’d just have them do a drawing or take them to a store/section of store ofinterest to the recipient & limit them to that area (with a budget specified). We’d practice, truthfully, with Toys for Tots. They could pick 1 present they’d want but then needed to pick the other presents in things outside their interests (for my kids, that was often dolls or craft kits)
My son didn't shop for others until he was in school and they had a holiday shop. Every year we made things for people though so he was always giving when receiving. A friend in a mom's group had what I thought was a great idea. She would take her kids to the dollar store and let them shop for people. A true dollar store though, not the ones that have things for 5, 10 or whatever. She said her kids would pick out the most hilarious things and everyone loved it.
DS is 11 and for the most part, I let him pick what he wants, even if it is a little odd to me, within a budget. So like one year he got my mom a glass apple because it made him think of her. Did she want it? No. Does she love it? Well, probably also no, but she displays it and he feels proud.
He likes to get his dad gag gifts like purple underwear or whatever (which DH loves). He takes his cousins VERY seriously but this year let me buy for them because he's an almost 12 year old boy and they are an almost 14 year old girl and almost 8 year old girl so even he was like, oh hell, IDK 😂.
V is 9 and O is 5.5. We have not gotten them involved in gift giving yet. They made fuse bead ornaments for their teachers (with our help/urging) last year and this one.
My kids are 11, 7, 3. They can give gifts if they want. I don’t force or encourage it. I’m actually so tired of all the gift giving. I don’t want anyone to ever feel like they are obligated to give me a gift. If they have something special they want to give to a certain person I am happy to help facilitate (drive them, pay for it).
Post by redheadbaker on Dec 17, 2022 20:23:32 GMT -5
For Christmas, I give DS a couple of suggestions of what to get H. He chooses from that.
For friend birthday parties, we almost always do a gift card, and I let him choose the card. One time, he said he knew what he wanted to get his friend, and it was reasonable in price (a Pokemon plushie), so I got that.
I let my kids buy stuff for their friends' birthday parties but with some steering, mostly for DS. "No you can't buy your cousin play doh or kinetic sand. Your aunt will disinvite me from all future parties."
I have not gotten them involved in gift giving for Christmas. I'll let DD buy something for DS for his birthday if she wants. Sometimes she goes shopping with my mom and gets stuff for me. My mom steers her to buy the good stuff LOL.
Today is my birthday and DD gave me a bracelet she bought at the school holiday shop. It was too small so I said she could keep it but that it was very sparkly and nice and that I liked it. She seemed fine by that.