Dd is doing a ballet variation this year for competition so I’m making her headpiece.
It’s been a process! I just need to add the flowers at the back. It will sit right in front of her bun with the pointed part coming down on her forehead.
Do you all have that family member who just sets you off? I don’t talk to my brother. I haven’t really been on a room with him (outside 1-2 bigger family gatherings) in more than 15 yrs. I had to ask him last night if he sent something for a family estate and it was like 0 to LIVID in 2 seconds. He’s such a narcissistic know it all (he’s an idiot). After that conversation I’m 100% sure he has an undiagnosed mental issue but he nor my dad would NEVER accept that.
I cut ties with my sister in 2019, and it has helped my mental health so much.
She is….. whackadoo. They’re super isolated and she’s like just whackadoo.
She had since now also isolated herself from my parents since I cut ties with her, so honestly we don’t have to deal with her at family functions anymore.
My parents come down once a year to watch my nieces dance recital and that’s the only interaction they have.
But prior to my sister further isolating herself I had to maintain strict boundaries and just not attend family functions if she was going to be there.
My sister moved to a new state for a job in early 2022. It's a small company and she's in a executive level role (or whatever you'd call it at a small company). She became fast friends with the owner's wife and now she practically lives at their house. She hangs out there all the time, helps with their daughters, dog sits their dogs a lot when they aren't home. She's been sick recently with some kind of unexplained pain thing and so they've taken her to appointments, had her stay at their house so she's not alone, etc. It's nice in a lot of ways - I'm glad she's not alone through all of this health stuff - but I am also like... lots of red flags. I don't think anything nefarious is going on, but I think it's a super weird line to cross with your employer that could serious affect her future career if things go sideways. According to my mom, she thinks she's going to work there the rest of her career, which I think is also very naieve for someone who is only 35 to think. I also think that any friendship that burns that hot that fast tends to burn out eventually, but perhaps that's just my own bad experiences talking. But she's known these people less than a year! I'm not sure if I'm being too judgmental by being really uncomfortable about the whole thing, and obviously it's not anything I have any control over anyway. But that's weird, right?
Post by followyourarrow on Jan 5, 2023 9:57:07 GMT -5
I’m still at the new job and it’s getting better, but I still have lots of concerns. I met with a Cpa and he agreed, there’s lots of things that need fixed. The old job is still trying to figure out if I can come back. I’m tired of living in flux and need them to figure it out. I need to schedule puppy daycare for next week, but which job I have depends on which puppy daycare I’ll use.
DH called our cable (yes, we still have cable) & internet provider yesterday to switch to just internet. DH and I had discussed switching to YouTube TV to reduce costs. The person DH spoke with said they could reduce our bill by about $60/month (about 1/3 of what we had been paying) and increase our internet speed for no additional charge. The price is good for 12 months, which is fine. If when the 12 months is up they can't keep us at that price, we'll look at other options again. I'm just happy to have some money back in the budget so I can afford eggs each month.
I got my 1st paycheck of 2023 today and I'm confused about my net pay. My pre-tax deductions went up about $15, but my net pay went up about $20 (so I was expecting less but got more). Maybe the additional pre-tax deductions changed my taxable income just enough to result in a lower tax %? Whatever the reason, I'm calling it a win!
circa1978, I am crossing my fingers for you that your stepbrother does this for your dad. I am holding you and your family close in my thoughts as you navigate all of this, and hope you find some rest and some peace yourself.
circa1978 I hope even if things don’t go as you hope in this situation you find peace in that you have done everything you can and have been a great, present, engaged and involved daughter to your father.
Post by georgeharrison on Jan 5, 2023 10:09:18 GMT -5
I saw someone online say that they open their windows every morning for at least 15 minutes no matter the weather. It is 34 degrees here this morning and I have the windows open. I'm going to keep them open for at least a half hour. It is actually rather refreshing, so I think I'm going to try to do this every day or at least more often.
Thursday is bedding washing day, too!
Working is for suckers. We had the week off between the holidays and coming back on Tuesday was like the suckiest thing ever. I had zero meetings Tuesday and Wednesday, five hours of meetings today, and zero meetings tomorrow.
It looks like our old kitty (18.5 years old) had a stroke the week before Christmas. It's nearly impossible to diagnose, but in research online and a few visits with the vet, and because he seems to be recovering just like they say cats do with strokes, it has been deduced. We were very ready to say good-bye, but I'm so glad that we didn't. I don't know how much longer we have with him, but at least his time hasn't come yet. I'm so happy that he's getting better each day.
wildrice, if it makes you feel any better, I still consider my boss from my first job in/out of college one of my best friends. He and I spent all kinds of time together when he lived here and our relationship was probably inappropriate (not in a sexual way) given our positions in the organization. The friendship was and always has been genuine though. Sometimes you just click with people.
Post by gerberdaisy on Jan 5, 2023 10:12:19 GMT -5
My dog is driving me nuts. She has gone outside, eaten breakfast, walked and played, yet she just demand barks at me nonstop. I need to look into doggy daycare.
Other than that, we're going on vacation tomorrow! So much to do, but can't wait to get to some sunny weather for a few days.
My childhood BFF's dad died in the middle of the night. I woke up to her text and instantly talked to her on the phone before I even put my contacts in.
So I am all thrown off my game today. I sadly can relate to what she is going through right now. I am anxious for her and the feelings I know she is going to have for the year to come.
Anyways, how is it only Thursday. ugh
On a happy note, my youngest can be hesitant to do new things. He is a cautious kid. In desperation I put him in a camp this week that I knew he wouldn't know anyone. He has done so well and really enjoyed it. It is just three hours a day and they have a very specific task (building a race car and race track) so that helps. Anyways, I always celebrate these small little joys. I try to tell my kids when I notice them stretching themselves in hopes it gives them confidence to keep doing it.
That is frustrating. For a long time my parents made excuses for her behavior. And they also have tried to keep some sort of lifeline open so they can continue to see their grandkids. I know my dad pays for my nieces dance classes (which she’s in advanced level classes so aren’t cheap) just because he wants to maintain some level of her having contact to the outside world.
(They live in the country, and are “homeschooled” and don’t have any devices connected to the internet so my sister can control what they hear/see. Although my sister spends a lot of her own time online….
They were in a religious homeschool commune, but I know my sister pulled her girls from that because it wasn’t conservative enough. 🥴🥴🥴
flygirl I only see my brother at holidays/birthdays and that is enough. You never know if he is going to be pleasant and he will just lie about the weirdest things. It’s so silly. A real life example: he will misspeak and say he got lunch at Jim’s Subs and my dad’s friend will say “oh, I thought Jim’s closed in 2018, I miss that place”. My brother will lie and say they reopened and he got a great cheesesteak there last week. What? Just say you made a mistake and went to Joe’s down the block. No one cares!
I’m sorry your parents think highly of him! That is one good thing about my dad, he knows my brother can’t really be trusted or relied on. This means I help him more but at least I don’t have to keep looping in my brother who will contribute nothing. I think my mom thought he had some personality disorder (she sure read a lot of books about them) but was more indulgent. Maybe your parents will eventually come around?
wildrice is it the kind of company that you could work there forever? It sounds a little strange to me and not a situation I’d put myself in but sometimes small businesses are like that. They hire people they really click with and think will be their friends.
Since she’s sick it’s probably better this than the alternative and have a job that isn’t understanding at all. Hopefully she will get some answers and if the time comes and they aren’t friends or working together anymore at least she would have had that support when she needed it. That can be really hard to find.
wildrice’s sister reminds me a bit of my first job. My start date and apartment move in date were off by about a week, and my boss, divorce, 35/40 year old male was all “oh, I have a guest room, just stay there,” when I tried to change the start date. So I did. Nothing nefarious, and I think we spent most of the week with his girlfriend, and I left on Saturday. But, in hindsight, WTF?!
But, I tend to agree that burning hot quickly tends to burn out. But not always. Sometimes, you meet someone and just click.
I have a girls trip coming up in a few weeks, and I’m overthinking it. I’m somewhat on the edge of the group (like, friends with one person, acquaintances with the rest, who are all friends). And, I’m feeling too introverted for it. And it’s like the 3rd year I’ve gone, so, they do keep inviting me. But I still have moments where I feel like my jr high field trip to DC, where the group I was hanging out with had one of the members tell me not to hang with them anymore. And so, I feel like it’s dredging up those feeling of childhood, where I was on the cusp of the rejects and… the middle clique, whatever that would have been. And holy shit, I’m 48, why TF does that matter.
I stayed up late last night to work through a backlog of work emails. I feel better knowing it’s whittled down and I’ve addressed everything.
We’re headed up to the mountains this morning to ski through the weekend. I’ll work a bit in the evenings, but I’m looking forward to just being up there and getting some mountain time.
flygirl I could write a fucking book about how my parents enable my brother. Like, it's something that I do my best to actively ignore because otherwise I will not be able to have a relationship with my parents.
I have a loaf of bread in the bread machine but I made a ton of substitutions and then fucked up the directions, so we'll see if I have fresh made bread for lunch.
circa1978, no matter what happens with your SB, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I wish you peace. wildrice, that does not sound too weird to me, and even if their friendship does fizzle out eventually, who cares? You do not have to remain lifelong friends with people in order to acknowledge their importance in your life for while they were in it, you know? I am glad she has someone to help her through this ordeal. Has she gotten anywhere with doctors or any sort of relief? eddy, that is a rough way to start your day; I can relate to that as well, and just the thought of receiving a text from my BFF about her parents shocking death really stresses me out. I am a wreck today because I got a 2 am text that my BFF might have to put her dog down!
Post by maudefindlay on Jan 5, 2023 11:06:05 GMT -5
wildrice those are red flags to me. I bet there are other employees there who do not like it. Your sister is getting extra face time with the boss the others don't get. If anything in that relationship goes south that job is not going to last and her references may be in jeopardy.
Hmmm, I once housesit for an old boss when he and his wife went out of town. They had a diabetic cat and had a hard time finding anyone that would give him his insulin shot and a pill each day. I was fresh out of grad school and living at home, so I was thrilled to have a long weekend alone in their house. I had no problem giving the cat his shot or pills since we had 2 cats of our own at home and I had a previous cat that needed thyroid medicine.
Maybe it was sort of weird, but they weren't home the whole time I was there.
wildrice those are red flags to me. I bet there are other employees there who do not like it. Your sister is getting extra face time with the boss the others don't get. If anything in that relationship goes south that job is not going to last and her references may be in jeopardy.
wildrice , I worked for a tiny start up after college that was way too familial. It was actually really nice in the beginning, but as the company grew it became a problem. The CEO had to implement boundaries and he was actually a terrible manager, so it soured fast. I was there almost 10 years in the end, but the last few years were incredibly dysfunctional and I only realize in hindsight after working more normal jobs how messed up it was. It also definitely ruined my career because of opportunities I missed out on that I would have had at more normal/bigger companies. I left on pretty bad terms (and so did most of the other people who were there from the beginning like I was) and I'm still bitter about how it all went down.
maudefindlay , that is SO TRUE. The CEO at my job hired a good friend of his as a "favor" and their relationship was so inappropriate. They spent way too much time together hanging out with the door closed, went for long coffee breaks together, etc. He was married and the rumor was that they were having an affair. One of the founders of the company asked me about them and I jokingly told her about the affair rumor (oops, I was young and dumb) and she was not happy. She forced him to let her go because of the optics. So YES, it can be very messy!
wildrice those are red flags to me. I bet there are other employees there who do not like it. Your sister is getting extra face time with the boss the others don't get. If anything in that relationship goes south that job is not going to last and her references may be in jeopardy.
I think these are the main concerns for me. I've never worked in a small company so I guess maybe things are different, but from an HR perspective it seems like a bad idea (of course she is the HR person so...). I also worry about a power differential. Can she say no to dog sitting or helping with their kids now if something changes in her life and she doesn't want to? Maybe in theory but will it affect her work situation?
tacokick she might be able to stay forever IF she doesn't want any additional career growth/big pay increases and if they are even in business that long. I would hesitate to tie my whole professional future to one small business, but I know plenty of people do so idk.
shauni27 still no progress really at all on diagnosis. She's been bounced around a lot and because of insurance can't always get doctor appts or tests efficiently. She isn't any better but at least isn't worse? My other sister is supposed to fly out to visit her today so I will be curious to see what she thinks of her condition. Nobody in our family has seen her since sometime last summer so it's hard to really know what she is sharing.
We spent the morning swimming and playing basketball at our hotel for our staycation. Next up is a visit to the Shedd before we take the train home. What a nice 36 hours we've had!