I started off this post as a question, but realized there are no answers to this issue. My 5 year old is super picky and eats a sunbutter and jam sandwich for lunch almost every day. The problem is that for dinner the rest of us have much broader palates. I occasionally throw him a bone and make sausages, steak, pork, or pizza, but those are literally the only things he will eat outside of sunbutter sandwiches so he eats a sunbutter sandwich twice a day because 90% of the time he won’t eat what I’ve made.
I lucked out with a relatively non-picky eater, but generally what I always did was make sure there was at least one thing that DS liked on his dinner plate, and then added in other stuff for variety. Easier said that done, though, I know. Hopefully your DS will grow out of it as he continues to be exposed to new foods!
OMG I totally feel this. DD2 is 4 and is "super picky". I put that in quotes because she eats enough that it is not an issue, but is annoying. My older DD1 (7.5) is an amazing eater, she will try most things and likes a wide variety of meals. H and I keep saying that DD1 was already a better eater at DD2's age. DD2 would eat pizza for every meal every day if I let her. She has it a lot because she often rejects what I make for dinner and so I can make her a small frozen pizza and it keeps us all fed and happy. I'd go nuts if I only cooked what she likes every day (it would be a rotation of pizza, spaghetti and meatballs, and teriyaki salmon every 3 days). So I often make meals 3/4 of us like and she eats something easy. I assume she will outgrow this at some point. As it is, I miss cooking things H and I like that neither kid will eat.
I lucked out with a relatively non-picky eater, but generally what I always did was make sure there was at least one thing that DS liked on his dinner plate, and then added in other stuff for variety. Easier said that done, though, I know. Hopefully your DS will grow out of it as he continues to be exposed to new foods!
I wish I could do that. The kids doesn’t eat rice, or potatoes, or vegetables, or polenta, or pasta, and I could go on. There is literally no side he will touch.
Post by countthestars on Jan 10, 2023 12:03:17 GMT -5
I’m here to commiserate. DD eats very few things. We have resorted to a separate meal for her and I hate it but I’m at a loss. We have done food therapy with an OT and the progress was slow and the office was far away from us so we stopped but I feel like we need to start again. I’m sorry - it’s so frustrating. Just remember that you did nothing wrong and it’s not your fault.
For me, when DS was younger and pickier - I would make him something separate if necessary. But it was ONE thing. If he said "pizza", he got pizza. If he then said "no, I want X". Sorry bud. No go. I don't see working with a very young child's limited palate as "short order cooking" unless it devolves into them asking for something different than initially made.
DS also has celiac, so there are sometimes meals where I need to make something different/modified for him (we try to cook GF for most everything, but sometimes there are exceptions)
I lucked out with a relatively non-picky eater, but generally what I always did was make sure there was at least one thing that DS liked on his dinner plate, and then added in other stuff for variety. Easier said that done, though, I know. Hopefully your DS will grow out of it as he continues to be exposed to new foods!
I wish I could do that. The kids doesn’t eat rice, or potatoes, or vegetables, or polenta, or pasta, and I could go on. There is literally no side he will touch.
Argh, that’s so tricky! I mean, all that really matters is that he’s eating something, which he is. He may grow out of it - fingers crossed for you!
. I occasionally throw him a bone and make sausages, steak, pork, or pizza, but those are literally the only things he will eat outside of sunbutter sandwiches
This is a great list though!! There's a lot you can do with those. I know this is sometimes unpopular, but I don't cater to the kids. If they don't want what we eat then they don't eat (there's always at least 1 "Safe" food on the plate though). Honestly, I think a lot of kids are just tired and not that hungry by dinner. My kids go to bed a lot having eaten like 2 bites.
O is the picky eater in our household. She's almost 6 and is the younger sibling by 3 years. I think by a pediatrician's standards she's within the range of normal, but we could use some strategies to avoid losing our shit. I want to say this is about birth order and age but that's just ANECDOTES.
Her preference would be to eat mac and cheese or spaghetti and meatballs every night for dinner. With enough cajoling we can usually get her to eat half of whatever we put on the plate, but it takes a lot of cajoling and I'm getting tired of it.
awkwardpenguin suggested the book "Helping Your Child With Extreme Picky Eating". The three biggest takeaways are "always at least 1 safe food (doesn't have to be a favorite) on the plate", "serve family style so that kids get to exercise control by deciding what goes on their plate", and "take a hard line on snacks before dinner so they're actually hunger". We haven't even managed to do this yet but we'll see!
niq: the no snacks before dinner is something I need to work on. It’s hard because DD1 eats a lot more and she seems to need a snack after school (and will still happily eat her full dinner), but then I give it to both of them and then DD2 won’t eat dinner. I need to start sneaking DD1 snacks without DD2 knowing. 😂
My DD (#2, 3.5 yo) is also the picky one in our house and the foods on her will-eat change with the wind. I generally give her a charcuterie board of her preferred foods at dinner each night (a couple ounces or tablespoons each of plain chicken, black beans, noodles with butter, berries, cheddar cheese). This isn't helping her expand her palate, but she also has major sleep issues that are exacerbated by going to bed hungry. So I give up.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Jan 10, 2023 13:26:04 GMT -5
My husband is almost as picky as my kids and I'm so sick of making the same 8 meals over and over again every week with almost no variation. Or making something new and having EVERYONE complain but the dogs.
My kids are older, so we just had this talk of you all are 12 and 10 now you can broaden your palate and be a bit more mature about everything. DS picked out a shrimp recipe and praised it when DH made it. DH tells me in the hallway before he cooked, oh you know I don't really like shrimp. Suck it up buttercup was my advice. I just literally had this conversation with the kids, so you can suck it up too. He found a marinade online and made it, and we all agreed it was very good.
Anyway, I know some of you are behind me in terms of the kid's development of being less picky. Hang in there. It's a rough many years, but for many of you (maybe not all), it will get better one day.
I am pushing everyone, including myself to just slightly get out of our comfort zone while also accepting our weaknesses. It's only been 1 day of this after multiple other initiatives which many did not work out that greatly, but we are all trying and hopeful to have something slightly healthy. I wanted to focus on health, and not to scare the kids but I talked about how mom and dad have high cholesterol. I didn't want it to be about weight, but about health. And I phrased it like don't be concerned, but this is something we can all do together to help mom and dad be more healthy. (instead of eating mac n cheese for example).
. I occasionally throw him a bone and make sausages, steak, pork, or pizza, but those are literally the only things he will eat outside of sunbutter sandwiches
This is a great list though!! There's a lot you can do with those. I know this is sometimes unpopular, but I don't cater to the kids. If they don't want what we eat then they don't eat (there's always at least 1 "Safe" food on the plate though). Honestly, I think a lot of kids are just tired and not that hungry by dinner. My kids go to bed a lot having eaten like 2 bites.
This is what we do. DS (3) would eat pasta every day. Many nights he eats almost nothing for dinner. On days I do make pasta, he will legit eat 3 adult sized servings, as defined by the serving size on the box, so I figure it makes up for the days he eats nothing. He has just recently started trying things he's never eaten before so I'm hopeful this method might pay off.
H and I gave up on trying to make meals in which our autistic DS(6.5) would eat a part of. He just gets a different meal. Most of the time it's PB&H, soy nuggets or yogurt/cheese/bread. We're at 1 fruit and 2 veggies that he'll eat. He eats 11 things right now (3 of which are different types of crackers).
LOL, my kids safe food of chicken nuggets isn't safe anymore. So I kinda had to WTF at her. If you won't eat that, what will you eat?
My kid used to eat chicken, but every time I serve it now, regardless of the preparation, he says “that’s not the chicken I like”. Chicken nuggets have always been a no
This may be unpopular in the other direction but I basically make DS whatever he wants every night. I like to make interesting meals with lots of seasoning/spices that he generally doesn't want, and its NBD for me to throw in some chicken nuggets in the air fryer while I'm cooking, or to boil some plain spaghetti. He does eat school lunch everyday (they give 2-3 choices and he hasn't been picky about it thus far) so I know at least he gets some variety in his meals. And he eats a ton of fruit and carrots. I hope that's good enough, ha.
Ugh I can also just commiserate here. It also kills me because she ate EVERYTHING before 18 mo, got a little picky then, and then after 3 yr had like 5 foods she'll eat. My baby has been picky since we started solids which is a delight to add to the mix lol.
It also just kinda makes me sad, I love food, and use to cook professionally so like I'm a good cook. And she's just missing out on all of it for yellow only Mac and cheese from a box. Like Christmas I made this super good French toast casserole that was just filled with fat and sugar with a cinnamon sugar topping and she licked a piece, said it was good, but then wouldn't eat any. So I'm not only offering wierd adult food or anything! Anyways there's my whole vent on it.
LOL, my kids safe food of chicken nuggets isn't safe anymore. So I kinda had to WTF at her. If you won't eat that, what will you eat?
My kid used to eat chicken, but every time I serve it now, regardless of the preparation, he says “that’s not the chicken I like”. Chicken nuggets have always been a no
Have you tried soy nuggets? My DS will not eat chicken nuggets, but soy is a go. We get Yummy plant-based meatless nuggets. Even H and I like them. When DS still ate chicken we called it chicken hold the nugget which he got a kick out of. He was 3 yrs old the last time he ate chicken. So it's been over 3.5 years since that time.
It also just kinda makes me sad, I love food, and use to cook professionally so like I'm a good cook. And she's just missing out on all of it for yellow only Mac and cheese from a box. Like Christmas I made this super good French toast casserole that was just filled with fat and sugar with a cinnamon sugar topping and she licked a piece, said it was good, but then wouldn't eat any. So I'm not only offering weird adult food or anything! Anyways there's my whole vent on it.
I hear you! My DS turned down cinnamon rolls on Christmas. When I've tried making a french toast casserole he took one look at it and said no.
Both of my kids are picky eaters and it drives me crazy. Packing lunches they will eat is the WORST. I usually just have a side I know they will eat at dinner most nights. If I make something I know they won’t eat then I make grilled cheese or something for them.
My ds2 is 7 and we were at my moms after Xmas and he tried all sorts of stuff there! Pulled pork - “mom can you make this at our house?” He ate corn and watermelon too which he won’t even look at usually. Kids man.
. I occasionally throw him a bone and make sausages, steak, pork, or pizza, but those are literally the only things he will eat outside of sunbutter sandwiches
This is a great list though!! There's a lot you can do with those. I know this is sometimes unpopular, but I don't cater to the kids. If they don't want what we eat then they don't eat (there's always at least 1 "Safe" food on the plate though). Honestly, I think a lot of kids are just tired and not that hungry by dinner. My kids go to bed a lot having eaten like 2 bites.
I am starting to try this approach. My kid (5) will eat PB and honey sandwiches, sometimes one brand of yogurt, apples, hot dogs, pancakes, eggs, noodles and broccoli. that is about it. When we are all eating dinner as a family (rare in the winter) I am going with the above approach: I am making one dinner. It is what goes on your plate. I am ALSO putting one thing on there that I know you like (plain noodles, a hot dog, apple with PB, etc) so I know you will not go to bed hungry, but that is it. I am also a mean mom and make him at least taste everything. I HATE that he won't even try things because I know he will like them, but he is so stubborn he won't even try. So our new rule is you have to at least lick it.
This is how he learned, just last week, that he actually LIKES macaroni and cheese.
This is a great list though!! There's a lot you can do with those. I know this is sometimes unpopular, but I don't cater to the kids. If they don't want what we eat then they don't eat (there's always at least 1 "Safe" food on the plate though). Honestly, I think a lot of kids are just tired and not that hungry by dinner. My kids go to bed a lot having eaten like 2 bites.
I am starting to try this approach. My kid (5) will eat PB and honey sandwiches, sometimes one brand of yogurt, apples, hot dogs, pancakes, eggs, noodles and broccoli. that is about it. When we are all eating dinner as a family (rare in the winter) I am going with the above approach: I am making one dinner. It is what goes on your plate. I am ALSO putting one thing on there that I know you like (plain noodles, a hot dog, apple with PB, etc) so I know you will not go to bed hungry, but that is it. I am also a mean mom and make him at least taste everything. I HATE that he won't even try things because I know he will like them, but he is so stubborn he won't even try. So our new rule is you have to at least lick it.
This is how he learned, just last week, that he actually LIKES macaroni and cheese.
My kid used to eat chicken, but every time I serve it now, regardless of the preparation, he says “that’s not the chicken I like”. Chicken nuggets have always been a no
Have you tried soy nuggets? My DS will not eat chicken nuggets, but soy is a go. We get Yummy plant-based meatless nuggets. Even H and I like them. When DS still ate chicken we called it chicken hold the nugget which he got a kick out of. He was 3 yrs old the last time he ate chicken. So it's been over 3.5 years since that time.
I haven’t tried soy nuggets, but he has been given other soy products and refused to eat them.
Post by awkwardpenguin on Jan 11, 2023 22:27:49 GMT -5
We’ve been doing the book niq mentioned for almost three months now. It’s been a huge success with DD (7), the OG picky eater in our household. She has probably started eating 10-15 new foods in that time, and she’s willing to try things that are a little different from the “safe food” - brown rice instead of white rice, that sort of thing.
However, DS (5) is still a big challenge. He’ll eat the safe food and that’s it. Last night he ate applesauce for dinner. He has tried maybe 2 new foods in three months? We’re trying to keep things low pressure, but I can feel my own anxiety creeping in about it.
So it’s not a magic cure, but it has restored peaceful shared family meals, even if everyone isn’t eating like I wish they were.
This is a great list though!! There's a lot you can do with those. I know this is sometimes unpopular, but I don't cater to the kids. If they don't want what we eat then they don't eat (there's always at least 1 "Safe" food on the plate though). Honestly, I think a lot of kids are just tired and not that hungry by dinner. My kids go to bed a lot having eaten like 2 bites.
I am starting to try this approach. My kid (5) will eat PB and honey sandwiches, sometimes one brand of yogurt, apples, hot dogs, pancakes, eggs, noodles and broccoli. that is about it. When we are all eating dinner as a family (rare in the winter) I am going with the above approach: I am making one dinner. It is what goes on your plate. I am ALSO putting one thing on there that I know you like (plain noodles, a hot dog, apple with PB, etc) so I know you will not go to bed hungry, but that is it. I am also a mean mom and make him at least taste everything. I HATE that he won't even try things because I know he will like them, but he is so stubborn he won't even try. So our new rule is you have to at least lick it.
This is how he learned, just last week, that he actually LIKES macaroni and cheese.
I feel like my kids are so stubborn (especially DS1) that they say they don't like something on principle when we make them try it, even if they really don't hate it. Drives me fucking nuts.
Honestly, I think I might try to above approach of talking to them about being old enough to start expanding their palettes. I can't decide if I think that will work, but it might be worth a shot if I can catch them in the right headspace.
My step son is a super picky eater. One thing that's helped a lot recently is vetoing all after dinner snacks. He used to tell us he didn't like dinner (even if it was a safe food) and then right before bed he'd be requesting a new meal or a snack that he likes better than the dinner food. Dinner foods are always safe foods. We don't even try to make him try new foods anymore, it's not worth the battle and we end up having to make something else for him anyway. So there's no excuse for him to not eat it. My fiance used to give him whatever he wanted, even if it was like 9 PM, because he didn't want him going to bed hungry. Now, he's set the expectation that after dinner time, if his son is still hungry, he can have more dinner food until 7:30 PM. After that time, no more food. Step son was clearly playing the game to delay bedtime and eat the snack foods he likes.
My kids are 15 and 10 and both are picky in their own way. The 15 year old is way better - he loves sushi and lobster (expensive tastes lol) and tries lots of stuff, but he weirdly hates all sauce/condiments (except red sauce on pasta). It’s so weird to insist on dry burgers etc
DS2 won’t eat anything “mixed” - like say enchiladas, or lasagna. It has to be separate protein, carb, etc. Neither kid will eat soup of any kind. It drives me crazy
My 9yo is picky. She is slowly getting a tiny bit better and that is because of peer pressure at school. For instance they were having pancakes and sausage for lunch and she wanted the pancakes so we ordered it. Her friends told her sausage is delicious so she tried it. And now she eats sausage. I don't think she has ever eaten red meat willingly and I am not sure she ever will at this point.