Kid parties and TY notes

[nicolewi]

What do you do? I struggled through having kids write thank you notes annd mail them after their friend parties in the past, but this time it is more challenging. This year, my dyslexic fourth grader had a friend party, and my second grader. The second grader had a big party because it was at a gymnastics place. In both situations, hand-writing all the thank you notes will be a massive ordeal, and also potentially embarrassing for my fourth grader. Her spelling and handwriting are bad, but she also doesn’t want to send things out wrong, so I would have to sit next to her spelling all the words, and probably we would both end up in tears. Is there a way to make this easier? A template??

Can I send emails that they dictate to me, or do I literally still have to hand-write all the addresses and stamp envelopes and all of that?

[sdlaura]

I don't expect thank you notes from kids for birthday party gifts. It's a nice surprise if we receive one, but I wouldn't notice if we didn't.

We usually get notes that are kind of like this for my kids (there are ones that have more space for older kids to write, too), and try to give some out at school/sports to avoid the address/stamp stuff.

www.amazon.com/Confetti-Including-Colorful-Envelopes-Sticker/dp/B09BYR8T6D/ref=sr_1_5?crid=3T1WJTDNCZCJX&keywords=fill+in+thank+you+notes&qid=1673997846&sprefix=fill+in+thank+you+note%2Caps%2C310&sr=8-5

ETA: we've never opened gifts at a kid party or been to a kid party where gifts were opened.

[waverly]

We don’t do thank you notes. Did you do favors? If you handed out favors and said thanks for coming, I’d say you are good. No one sends them here. We’ve never gotten one.

[186momx]

DD types her thank you notes and inserts a clip art that says thank you in bubble letters at the top of the document. After we print them, she colors in the thank you part. She has horrible handwriting and has an IEP for writing, so this was a great compromise. We also only send thank you notes to people who mail her gifts.

[mrsGreeko]

If gifts are opened at the party my kid has always verbally thanked the giver after opening the gift and then not sent a thank you note. I think a verbal thank you is acceptable in these situations. If your kids didn’t do that then notes are nice, but still not totally necessary. I think you can write out what they dictate and they can sign to make things easier.

[bee20]

The only kid thank you notes I've seen in the last 10 years are a snapfish type postcard with a photo of the kid at their birthday on the front and a pre-typed message on the back saying "thanks for making my birthday so special!". It was maybe once signed by said kid but usually just mailed.

If you're going to do it maybe do one or two for grandparents but that's it.

[cricketwife]

Ha, well, definitely #regional. I’m in the South and we always send/receive thank you cards after kids’ parties. I think the fill-in-the-blank templates are good for younger kids- they just fill in a few words. It would be perfectly appropriate for your 2nd grader, IMO.
As someone who teaches kids fourth grade, I can tell you they all (almost!) have terrible writing! It’s not like when we were kids at all. I would sit with her and help her write them.

If you really, really don’t want to do the written cards, I’ve had a couple friends text a short video of their kid saying thank you.

Of course, if people in your area don’t do thank you cards, then I’d give it a miss.

[joy]

We do no gift parties… fixes this problem?

[abs]

We have never done thank you cards nor have we ever received one (and I live in the south!). I would just make your life easier and skip them. Verbal thank you’s are perfect.

[erbear]

We always did a template, and I wrote down gifts as they opened them so they had all the words. Short and sweet -- it's the thought that counts.

[penguingrrl]

My 4th grader also struggles with handwriting really badly. We have him write one card a night with his homework until he’s written them all. In my area thank you cards are definitely still done, so we do them as well. They might be a bit later than perfect while waiting for him to write them, but they get there.

[court26]

I have always made my kids do them, but with very short, template type of messages. Then I started taking a group pic and putting a thank you on that through Walgreens and then using that so each kiddo has a memory of the day too. And it’s cheap to do 4x6 prints.

[sparty04]

I stopped making my kids do thank you cards several years ago. We also haven't received one in several years. The last time we did them I bought template ones where they just had to write the name of the gift, something short about it and their name.

[lindyanne]

If you took any cute pictures at the parties you can get photo cards printed with a message on them and just have your daughters sign them.

[mpm]

My kids only send paper TY notes to MIL. Everyone else gets a thank you from the kids in person or a thank you text from me. We’re in the South and I’ve never received a thank you note after a kid party.

[cherry1111]

I love thank you notes for when the gift isn’t opened at the party. That said I’ve gotten maybe 2 in 10 years of kid parties so I stopped making my kids do it.

[fortnightlily]

I made DS write them, but we never finished the list and I never delivered most of them. So I dropped the ball and I feel bad about it, but I also feel like most parents probably don't care. I don't have everyone's addresses to send in the mail, but also wasn't sure how DS could subtly hand them to friends without calling attention to the fact that others weren't invited.

[loira]

I would not submit myself to this torture. Can't kids just thank the host when they leave the party?

[pittpurple]

We make sure to send a specific text (started having my daughter do this herself this year) to thank the person for their gift. We send hand written ones to grandparents and their aunt/uncle for any gifts for birthdays/holidays - we live overseas so try to send things in the post when we can as the grandparents love it. I think writing 5 thank you notes is plenty and still makes the point without it being too much. I just had the kids sign them when they were little (or draw a picture, etc) but now that my daughter is 10 she writes them out herself. This year I was super overwhelmed and it became a thank you chanukah card as her birthday is november and I was disorganised.

[momof2]

Another southerner that doesn’t do thank you notes. We tell these kids thank you for the gifts at the party and that is it. If some older relative mails a gift, I text a picture of kid with said gift to them with a thanks. Or I have the kid FaceTime then. Handwritten thank you notes seem to be a thing of the past. I have not received a thank you note from anyone other than one friend who is over 55, and a couple of older relatives in probably a decade.

[icedcoffee]

I used to be insane about this and then my kid had a whole class party and the only way I'd be able to do it would be to have my kid give them the notes at school and I decided we're done. Stop the madness!! LOL

If this makes me a terrible person I'm ok with it.

ETA:  We don't open at the party because it stresses me out and I hate it.

[momin2013]

I don't think DS has ever received one, and we don't send them either. Gifts are always opened at parties, and he thanks the gift-giver as he opens.

The only time I think I might want to do TY cards would be if DS didn't open the gifts at the party.

[gardengal]

We do TY notes. My eldest has dysgraphia & ADHD so starting a letter can be difficult. I give him a formula: “Thanks for coming to my party! ::insert sentence about gift::: Thanks again!” And he does it voice-to-text & prints them out. He folds them “fun” ways like airplanes or “fortune tellers”, etc

[Jalapeñomel]

Have your child type the thank you.

We always send thank you notes for gifts.

We never open gifts in front of guests.

I love giving and getting thank yous. It’s a nice gesture all around, even if it’s just a simple thanks.

[jennistarr1]

I'll start off my admitting we are not perfect at thank you notes

I do think there needs to be some acknowledgement of the gift...again I'm not perfect.

Last year I bought thank you notes that said 

Dear _____
Thank you for ______
When I opened it this was my reaction
(different monsters with different happy/surprised/loved reactions)
You made my day
Love,
_____

So she filled those out and I mailed them

I have at times just texted the parent with a picture or "kiddo loved the XX, she has been talking about wanting one of those for a while now, it was the perfect gift. It was great seeing you today and I hope the girls had fun"

If a gift is sent in the mail or local delivery (flowers, cookies)...definitely send something asap because me as a sender always worried "did that get delivered"

[sillygoosegirl]

I had my kid write thank you notes to a handful of the attendees, particularly the older old fashioned adults and seniors. I decided not to make her write thank you notes to everyone. She's in 2nd grade, and I'm pretty sure dyslexic and maybe dysgraphic. I think she got through 5 and it felt like a really big accomplishment.

[al dente]

Huh I legit don't know the last time anyone in our family got a thank you note. Even from weddings we've been to in the years precovid (not that I'm still salty about that or anything 😂).

My oldest is only 4, and we've never given or received thank you notes. I sometimes will send a picture of her playing with the toy to whoever sent it with a little thank you. That's the extent of it though.

[boiler717]

This year my son is writing fill-in-the-blank TYs (he’s 7 / first grade) because we need to work on handwriting. When he was younger I filmed a short video thank you of him holding or using the gift and texted it. People LOVED it, kids love getting videos of their friends and it was fun for him to do.

[Ashley&Scott]

We do thank you notes. My oldest is dyslexic too & has similar issues with spelling & handwriting. I usually help him make a template for the note so he has something to refer to when writing. He also keeps it very brief, just 2-3 sentences & usually draws a picture too.

Dear ____,

Thank you for your gift. I'm glad you came to my party, I had fun playing with you.

(Signature)



I think the suggestion of typing the note is fine too. I'm team thank you notes because I always appreciate when we receive them. I have also received voice messages or short video clips of kids saying a personalized thank you rather than sending a card - that might be an option for you.

[hermione]

I am of the opinion that thank you notes are an outdated practice. I don't make my kid write them. At the end of the party she addresses the crowd and says thank you. She is sincere so I am unsure why that wouldn't be enough. We also do a lot of video thank yous for out of town relatives and post on their FB page which is always a hit.

ETA: We gave a our nephew something for Christmas this year that turned out to be a big hit. his mom, our niece, texted me some pics a week or so later and said, "This thing made Christmas!" with a heart emoji. I appreciate the spontaneity of something like that far more than a handwritten thank you note someone wrote out of obligation.