Period underwear question

[nellgirl]

My daughter (almost 7) has an overactive bladder and likely urinary reflux. She leaks urine multiple times a day, which necessitates a whole change of pants/undies, etc. She has recently been put back on a medication that helped with the accidents, but didn’t totally eliminate them.
I’m looking for a solution to her having to change her pants so often since she’s starting to get really self-conscious about it.
Her urologist suggested pull-ups, but at 7, I’d like to see if I can find a better solution as she’d be way too embarrassed to wear them at school.
I can’t find washable incontinence underwear for children that ships to Canada, but lots of period underwear options, some which go down as small as kids pant size 6/7. They come in lots of cute patterns and hopefully wouldn’t make her feel like a baby in a diaper (her words).
I’ve never used period underwear myself, but I’m wondering if they’d be a good solution. I just need something that would deal with small urine leaks so she doesn’t have to change pants as much.

[IndiaInk]

I would try it. As someone who recently bought a couple pairs of period undies for the first time after having the flu and peeing her pants from coughing constantly...it's a pretty good solution for such issues in my limited experience!

[pittpurple]

If you can find ones that fit (or even take them in on the sides if they're a bit big?) I'd try them on weekends or when she's home for a bit to make sure it works. If they slip around a bit you could do the period underwear with a pair of bike shorts on top to just keep it all together.

[stemmie]

My mother like Speax by Thinx. Their smallest size is an XS 24"W/35"H so too big for your LO.

I was told that the incontinence panties are different than the ones made for periods. Urine leakage tends to be a greater quantity and the undies are designed for that plus they have some sort of treatment specifically for urine odors.

What about adding a liner to regular panties? Thanks to mom, I am very well versed in the offerings. They make Poise liners in a thin version with absorbancies from 1-6. Mom finds these work better and faster than the washable undies.

[awkwardpenguin]

I would definitely consider incontinence specific pads, unless she's leaking a full bladder. Less obtrusive than a pull up and can be changed whenever necessary without removing her pants and underwear. I'm guessing they are readily available in Canada too.

[purplepenguin7]

I personally don't love the period underwear for myself because I still feel that wet feeling (sorry to be gross!) but for small leaks it may be ok. She may not be able to wear one pair all day but at the very least it should help her to not have to change her pants.

[icedcoffee]

I think I'd do an incontinence pad. Period underwear do not breath at all and I'd worry about being a good breeding ground for germs and also feeling VERY uncomfortable. I wear them as a backup to my cup and if I workout they seem to feel wet all day just from sweat and they don't smell great. It's kind of gross.

TLDR: Try an incontinence pad or see if you can get incontinence underwear shipped to you by a friend in the US if you can't ship to Canada.

[kitty]

We used incontinence pads (the smallest size we could find - some are enormous) but it takes some practice to be able to change them out without getting them folded up and stuck to themselves. However, DS1 refused to wear them most of the time - maybe a sensory thing about how they felt?

In first grade, DS1's teacher let us bring in a small tote bin of many pairs pants and underwear and she kept it right next to the door to the classroom bathroom. I put each set of pants and underwear its own plastic grocery bag which he also would use to put the soiled pair in after he changed. She sat DS in the back closest to the bathroom so he could just casually subtly grab a grocery bag on his way into the bathroom. He got lucky with covid that everyone was facing forward instead of in groups but his teacher swore that none of the kids ever appeared to notice. He's never been dry so we only buy black, navy, or charcoal pants so it isn't super obvious if he comes out wearing something different.

My DS is now in 3rd and still isn't dry but luckily the leaks are smaller and less frequent so he rarely has to change at school. I have lots of anecdotal experience with different meds if you want to chat. Can she swallow a pill? That opened up a ton of new options for us beyond the liquid ditropan.

[gastro]

FYI there is a class action lawsuit currently pending with Thinx.

[SusanBAnthony]

One option might be to start her in period underwear with an incontinence pad. She can take the pad off and throw it away halfway through the day, and use the underwear after that. That way she doesn't have to carry a pad and put it on, which might be harder.

[bee20]

Two adult friends love period underwear for mild incontinence. I think you'd need to figure out a plan for what to do with the changed underwear though, a dry bag is what they use and they come in fun prints but little kids don't have a handbag to throw it into.

[arehopsveggies]

Just for reassurance-When I have had students in pull-ups, they were always able to sneak it without the other students noticing.

[arehopsveggies]

I don’t know how small they go, but for myself I like the bambody underwear on Amazon better than my expensive thinx

[nellgirl]

Wow! Thank you all so much for the feedback! I really appreciate it! It sounds like the inserts are the best thing to try initially. I found some undies that were for incontinence for kids, but alas, no Canadian shipping!
She’s just so embarrassed about it, and unfortunately, last year they had a long term sub who kept announcing it to the class. Not the accidents, but when she needed to use the bathroom (timed voiding). I was livid.

[nellgirl]

Jan 18, 2023 23:22:01 GMT -5 arehopsveggies said:

Just for reassurance-When I have had students in pull-ups, they were always able to sneak it without the other students noticing.

A lot of it is her being self-conscious. She doesn’t even like the word ‘bathroom’ to be used around her. We’re working on that…

[heygrey]

If she is sensitive about reminders to use the washroom, would she be responsive to a vibrating watch that has multiple timers throughout the day?

I have supported students who needed frequent bathroom breaks and several were successful with a watch that reminded them when to go. It saved me from watching the clock and potentially missing a break if I was engaged elsewhere, and they had permission to just get up and walk out without asking an adult. There are several on Amazon.ca in the $30 range.

[nellgirl]

Jan 19, 2023 1:23:47 GMT -5 heygrey said:

If she is sensitive about reminders to use the washroom, would she be responsive to a vibrating watch that has multiple timers throughout the day?

I have supported students who needed frequent bathroom breaks and several were successful with a watch that reminded them when to go. It saved me from watching the clock and potentially missing a break if I was engaged elsewhere, and they had permission to just get up and walk out without asking an adult. There are several on Amazon.ca in the $30 range.

That’s what she has. She uses a FitBit Ace, but I can only set 8 alarms on it. Between before/after care and school, that uses all 8. She’s good about listening to it, but outside of school when she needs to be independent, I remind her. She also gets a ‘buzzer break’ usually on non-school days. It’s fine at home, but out anywhere, she’s mortified. We have a hand signal now, which seems better.

[icedcoffee]

I just got a FB add for Speax by Thinx which I guess are specifically for urine.

[estrellita]

Just chiming in as I use cloth liners as a backup for my cup or on super light days. I find them pretty comfortable and they'd be less noticeable (no crinkly wrapper, can be folded down or bunched up for carrying to the bathroom if needed). I bought mine from a FB co-op years ago but I've been seeing them on Amazon, or even Etsy for more personalization.