Post by librarychica on Jan 19, 2023 9:15:49 GMT -5
Don’t read on if you’re feeling sensitive to animal death today.
So as you may remember we have been struggling with an aggressive dog. However she is only aggressive toward people outside our core family. Because she is small and does little damage, when she bites we have had time to try and address this with training and medication but it just isn’t working. After another incident Monday, the vet and I agreed to euthanize her.
Do I tell my girls (just turned 8 and 11) the truth? I think I’d tell the older one, but because they generally only see the sweet side of her and she “can’t really hurt anyone” I expect my younger won’t really understand. Part of me worries she won’t forgive me. Plus, since Monday’s incident came about after DD2 opened the door without ensuring the dog was crated I am afraid her sister might blame her. I had already been considering this, it’s not the girls’ fault of course, but the timing.
I am considering telling them that our trainer is rehoming her. I have never lied to them though, even about hard things, so that rubs me the wrong way. WWYD?
Post by lexiegirrl5711 on Jan 19, 2023 9:28:19 GMT -5
I wouldn't lie to them and say that you are re-homing the dog. My parents had to put our dog down when I was 8, but I didn't find out the truth of what happened until I was in my 20s and it really hurt that they lied to me. Tell them the truth with the least amount of details, just saying the dog is sick and this is the best thing for it.
If it were the 8 year old I would totally lie, but I think the 11 year old would know even if I did lie. So.... Ugh. I'm sorry. I guess tell the truth.
I agree with lexiegirrl5711, I wouldn't lie and say you're re-homing the dog. I don't think you have to tell them you're putting it down because it's too aggressive, just tell them it's sick. I think if you say you're re-homing it, they'll want updates and pictures and potential visits. It doesn't give them closure on it.
I agree you shouldn’t lie. I would say you took her to the vet, and found she’s really suffering, which is why she is biting people, and the vet says she can’t be cured, so the loving and kind thing to do is to put her to sleep. All of that is true. If they press, tell them it’s an issue with her brain, which is also true. Now’s the time to remember that even with animals, mental health is still health.
I agree you shouldn’t lie. I would say you took her to the vet, and found she’s really suffering, which is why she is biting people, and the vet says she can’t be cured, so the loving and kind thing to do is to put her to sleep. All of that is true. If they press, tell them it’s an issue with her brain, which is also true. Now’s the time to remember that even with animals, mental health is still health.
I was struggling with what I would do until I read what mommyatty said. That sounds perfect. Also, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this librarychica. Good luck.
I agree you shouldn’t lie. I would say you took her to the vet, and found she’s really suffering, which is why she is biting people, and the vet says she can’t be cured, so the loving and kind thing to do is to put her to sleep. All of that is true. If they press, tell them it’s an issue with her brain, which is also true. Now’s the time to remember that even with animals, mental health is still health.
I’m turning this into a script. Thanks.
I would be tempted to lie, because it is too hard. But I think the above covers it well and can help them and you get through it.
Post by librarychica on Jan 30, 2023 17:37:55 GMT -5
We told the girls today. DD1 took it shockingly well. She confirmed to me later in private that she suspected. She’s upset but does seem to understand. She is asking to be there. She did ask why she didn’t get more warning (the euthanasia is scheduled for Friday) but I explained that I didn’t think her sister could handle a long lead-in
DD2 sobbed and sobbed, but seems to mostly understand that there is something wrong in dog’s brain.
I'm sorry librarychica. Thank you for the update. When we had to put our last dog down, my older kids were 8 and 7. They wanted to be there when it happened, so they came to the vet with me, and I think it helped give them some closure. My younger son was very confused about where exactly the dog went.
Post by librarychica on Jan 30, 2023 17:55:39 GMT -5
sdlaura, I’m inclined to allow it, though she’d miss school and she has missed so much this year for illness. Not like she’s going to be concentrating well anyhow and she generally knows her own mind. I was about her age when we had to put one of our dogs down because her kidneys were failing. She was my younger brother’s dog and he was too upset so he asked me to go with our dad. I won’t say it was a good experience, but it did provide closure and it wasn’t traumatic or anything.