Happy Friday!

[twinmomma]

One of those brutally long short weeks, amirite?

[twinmomma]

I am dragging myself over the finish line today.

I woke up at 4 AM. The kids have a snow day so I will not be in the office as planned. Our holiday party is tonight so I'm crossing everything that the snow lets up with plenty of time for that. And I realized this morning that I forgot to do my very first discussion board assignment for my new grad school class last night, so that's a great way to kick off the course in marketing. Which I do for a living.

Tomorrow we get to spend the day with beau's ex celebrating his son's birthday without the girls because she refused to invite them because it's her weekend. Her weekend = her party = her rules.

I need a drink already. Cheers to 7:30 AM!

[librarychica]

I am also dragging myself through Friday. It’s going to be a busy day and I was up early getting DD1 and H out the door for her big fifth grade all-day field trip bonanza 1.5 hours away. She wanted H to chaperone because he’s a bit of an expert on the place they’re visiting. He got home from a weeklong business trip last night. Godspeed, H. You are a good man.

It didn’t help that anxious dog insisted that there was something in the backyard by barking viciously for an hour when I wanted to be sleeping so I had to sit with her so H could get some rest. She of course is napping now. Other dog is snoring. I am not snoring. I am sluggishly checking things off the Friday to-do list.

We have a glorious weekend of nothing. H has an integration he has to get done but he will be doing it from the couch, I have some movies lined up for us, it’s supposed to rain tomorrow. Bliss. Lounging, some cleaning catch up, more lounging. There’s a member preview at the science museum Sunday we have on the calendar but it’s an open house, no tickets required, and my magic 8 ball says “unlikely.”

[rere]

So glad it's Friday. It seems like there has been something wrong with someone in our house for 2 months. Now Dh has been complaining of stomach trouble and no sleeping all week and Dd is coming out of her wisdom teeth to a cold.

I'm playing bunco with some friends tonight. Other than that, not much planned. Dd has plans with friends, but I am not sure what Dh and I will get into for tye weekend. If the weather is cold and nasty Sunday, cooking a pot of chili sounds good.

[mae0111]

Short weeks always feel the longest.

I'm doing battle with DD2's neuropsych eval office - they've charged us and my insurance for an appointment that never happened. This has been a cluster from the start. A report that should have taken 6-8 weeks took over 13. My request for an advance letter to get DD2 accommodations on was ignored. When I got the report, it referenced another patient. It took me 3 weeks to get a correction. And I've left several voicemails and emails trying to get this bill straightened out since the beginning of December. DD1 needs to have another evaluation, and I'm really hesitant to go back there. The clinicians are great but he back office stuff is just a mess...

Another busy weekend this weekend, but it should be fun! DD2 has foot skills tonight, then DD1 has a late basketball game. DD2 has indoor soccer super early tomorrow (645 arrival, 20 mins away), then basketball after that. DD1 has 2 basketball games tomorrow afternoon. Sunday we have NOTHING. I'm going to see if my parents want to come and watch the later basketball game and maybe have dinner. I haven't seen my mom in person since the beginning of November because she had been at my sister's on the other coast. If not, I'll see if Dh wants to sneak out for a quick date night. It's always hard for us to carve out time for a conversation at home.

[mommyatty]

DD is home with a cold today. She’s had a runny nose all week but last night she just seemed to really be going downhill. So I told her to spend today at home, so her body can bounce back. I also told her to knock out a lot of her reading and her math apps that are due on Monday.

Tomorrow the kids are getting haircuts. DD wants short hair. Like pixie cut short. But she has very straight, very fine but thick very blond hair. I think a pixie cut would mean a ton of work to make it look nice, and this is a kid who can barely be bothered to brush her hair. Plus no other girl at her school has short hair, so I’m concerned she would be teased and end up embarrassed. So we are compromising on a choppy chin length bob that’s meant to look a bit messy. And she wants side-swept bangs because she’s decided her forehead is too big. She does have a pretty big forehead. Anyway I’m struggling with giving her autonomy, especially bodily autonomy, and knowing that the result is going to significantly affect my day to day life. So no pixie cut. And if she complains, we are going back to her current cut, a not quite shoulder length bob with no bangs that looks amazing on her.

Other than that, we are going out to dinner Sunday night with DH’s younger second cousin. She’s a traveling radiology tech who has an assignment in our area.

[librarychica]

mommyatty, I have hair like your DD (the strands are fine, the hair is dense, so much hair) and I’m sure a choppy chin-length cut will be adorable. But if you ever decide to allow a pixie get one that is a little longer in the back and then she can use gel and her fingers to sort of ruffle/spike. I wore mine that way when I was younger and it was a great cut, low-effort (but not no-effort) style.

My oldest has very dense, curly, hair and it has been an exercise in tongue biting sometimes, lol.

[supertrooper1]

We're leaving tonight with DS and Beau's grandson to go camping for 2 nights. The campground is located at a ferry dock and an old military fort from the 1800's, so it will be cool to watch the ferries come and go and let the boys explore the fort. I'm hoping the rain holds out. The campground has been on our list since we got our trailer but it's impossible to get a spot during the summer.

[waverly]

I'm also struggling through Friday. Pretty much everyone that I have been around today has had temper tantrums including DD, DH, and 2 co-workers. I am ready to move to a deserted island.

[waverly]

campermom, YGPM. I had a random question for you.

[sandandsea]

I’m so happy it’s Friday. Every week this year has seemed so long!!! I feel like I’ve checked so many things off but the list keeps growing. Ds1 504 is in motion, ds2 speech is in motion, my new dentist and first appointment are done, emailed 2 dealerships about a new to me car, soccer tournaments are booked, house is a disaster.

On the car front - I want a new Prius to replace my old Prius. One dealership got back to me and said there is an $8k over msrp fee on them but through the special work program we only have to pay $5k over msrp.

Is it like this everywhere or just the Bay Area? I’m willing to drive up to 4 hours to avoid this stupid surcharge but also don’t want to waste my time looking all over and calling everyone if it’s the same everywhere. I’m also trading in my old car that they all want too so it seems extra dumb.

[sandandsea]

I had a tantrum this morning and sent Dh an angry text that the countertop is not the garbage and to stop putting trash on the counter because that doesn’t help. I was home alone and knocked over one of the cans in his trash pile on the counter while I was cleaning up and it still had soda in it that of course got all over everything resulting in a bigger mess to deal with when I was trying to log on to work asap.

[supertrooper1]

sandandsea, we have the "market adjustment price" added to cars here too (north of Seattle). It seems to be coming down a bit and not on every vehicle since the lots have more cars and less demand. When the Grand Wagoneers came out, I stopped just to look and it had a $22,000 fee on top of what I already thought was too high MSRP. The sales manager came out and explained that they're paying more for used cars too, so this was to help justify the higher prices and low inventory.

[mustardseed2007]

I had a fight with the PA president today. I know that sounds like social suicide but in our school it isn't. She pissed me the hell off though. Unfortunately it's not even an interesting story. It all has to do with a Chili cook off and the rules surrounding that. And I hate myself for even typing that out.

[sandandsea]

supertrooper1 yeah no thanks!! I’m not looking to pay a 20% markup on a $35k car and I doubt they can make up that with my trade in that currently has a KBB trade in value of $26k.

I found a dealership 60-90 minutes away that doesn’t do markups and reached out to them. I heard they have a “long waitlist” but we will see. I’d rather wait 6 months than pay 20% more.

[campermom]

PDQ
I applied to a new job. Within the system, but very hard to get. The opportunity comes very few and far between. But being a school psychologist is like—-horrific right now. I am literally testing like 24 students simultaneously, running a couple functional behavior assessments, counseling 6 kids a week, and attending about 20 IEP mtgs a week. Then kids are eloping and aggressive probably 5 times more than usual. Then we are short staffed so there’s no one to respond. I don’t know if it will ever get better. This will be 12 months instead of 10, but comes with leave and I won’t have to worry about running out, ever again.

Another woman was “promised the job” I’ve been told by many. But they get like 20-30 apps and I got one of the interviews. I think our position would carry a lot more weight in the process in comparison to other positions that apply.I imagine there were probably up to 8 interviews.

I need to study and get a suit this weekend.
I am nervous. I have mixed feelings about this.

Tuesdays the day.

[waverly]

Jan 20, 2023 18:32:22 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

I had a fight with the PA president today. I know that sounds like social suicide but in our school it isn't. She pissed me the hell off though. Unfortunately it's not even an interesting story. It all has to do with a Chili cook off and the rules surrounding that. And I hate myself for even typing that out.

I’m sorry but this makes me laugh.

[waverly]

DH and I got into it yesterday because I was running around helping DD get ready. He made a comment that I didn’t drink the coffee he made, so I went to get it and it was cold but I drank it anyway to be nice. No time to heat it up. DD needed something so I asked him to assist because I was drinking the coffee, and he threw a tantrum. DD was being a pill and triggering but I ask you to do one thing and you throw a tantrum. Now he’s sulking all over and I’m over it. Who cares? Grow up or take meds. I’m not responsible for your mental health. He’s already in therapy but it needs to be more often probably. I literally asked him to help her loosen her laces on her new shoes. Apparently high tops are hard to get into. And he couldn’t handle it emotionally because of DD’s attitude. But also he didn’t loosen them enough. It’s like he just doesn’t want to put in the extra effort to go one mm farther. DD and I did a shoe lesson last night so she can be more independent. DH has always been like this. He does whatever he wants in the morning and oh well for everyone else. The only time he takes any responsibility for morning stuff was because DS moved to middle school and they are all up earlier. I used to be sweating wrangling 2 toddlers into clothes and then dressing myself while he’s on his phone the whole time, so I have zero compassion for his tantrum.

[sdlaura]

I was annoyed yesterday that I had an out of town big board meeting on a Friday - I’ve really been enjoying my WFH Fridays. It was 4 hours in the car and 3 hours in the meeting, but at least I was home by 4 pm.

We are now halfway through MIL’s 9-day visit. Today DD and her friend are doing a 9-12:30 softball camp, so MIL and I have the boys at the childrens museum till we go back to pick them up. Then both older kids have soccer games in the afternoon. Tomorrow is more sports - baseball evaluation for DS1, basketball games for both kids, and softball practice for DD.

Monday DS1 turns 9! I’m chaperoning my first ever school field trip to the aquarium since it’s for DS1’s class and it’s his birthday.

[mommyatty]

DH is supposed to run a marathon in one month and 3 days. I am so sick of his stupid marathon training governing our lives. Today he had his 19 mile training run. I think next week is his 20 mile. Every single time he’s trained for a marathon, he gets injured at about this point. But this evening I finally had a bit of a temper tantrum because we couldn’t go out to dinner after my doing all the things for the kids all day (getting haircuts, finding and booking an orthodontist appointment for DD, taking the kids to get lunch some place they could play) and putting all the outdoor Christmas stuff away, because he was tired and sore from this stupid training. So I literally said, “When is your marathon?… Okay so after that date, this bullshit running stops and I never have to deal with it again, correct? Because I’m done with it. My life and my kids’ lives will never be taken over by your stupid effing running again. Correct?” I swear, if he even peeps about wanting to run another marathon after this, I’m throwing his shit out into the street.

It doesn’t help that my stupid cats have become obsessed with the trash can next to my bed, so I was up at 3:00 fighting with the cats and ultimately locking one in his room, then DS decided he needed to get up at 5:00 to “be the early bird.” I’m exhausted and very tired of solo parenting so DH can spend all of his time running, preparing to run, and recovering from running. I just told him if DS decides to get up at 5:00 tomorrow, he’s getting up with him.

[callmekd]

Jan 21, 2023 21:26:56 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

DH is supposed to run a marathon in one month and 3 days. I am so sick of his stupid marathon training governing our lives. Today he had his 19 mile training run. I think next week is his 20 mile. Every single time he’s trained for a marathon, he gets injured at about this point. But this evening I finally had a bit of a temper tantrum because we couldn’t go out to dinner after my doing all the things for the kids all day (getting haircuts, finding and booking an orthodontist appointment for DD, taking the kids to get lunch some place they could play) and putting all the outdoor Christmas stuff away, because he was tired and sore from this stupid training. So I literally said, “When is your marathon?… Okay so after that date, this bullshit running stops and I never have to deal with it again, correct? Because I’m done with it. My life and my kids’ lives will never be taken over by your stupid effing running again. Correct?” I swear, if he even peeps about wanting to run another marathon after this, I’m throwing his shit out into the street.

It doesn’t help that my stupid cats have become obsessed with the trash can next to my bed, so I was up at 3:00 fighting with the cats and ultimately locking one in his room, then DS decided he needed to get up at 5:00 to “be the early bird.” I’m exhausted and very tired of solo parenting so DH can spend all of his time running, preparing to run, and recovering from running. I just told him if DS decides to get up at 5:00 tomorrow, he’s getting up with him.

My H ran Dopey at Disney a few weeks ago - 48.6 miles over 4 days. The training was insanity and I told him we need to regroup as a family on the time commitment.

Also can’t your H do his long runs during the work week? That would leave your weekends more available.

[callmekd]

Jan 21, 2023 21:26:56 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

DH is supposed to run a marathon in one month and 3 days. I am so sick of his stupid marathon training governing our lives. Today he had his 19 mile training run. I think next week is his 20 mile. Every single time he’s trained for a marathon, he gets injured at about this point. But this evening I finally had a bit of a temper tantrum because we couldn’t go out to dinner after my doing all the things for the kids all day (getting haircuts, finding and booking an orthodontist appointment for DD, taking the kids to get lunch some place they could play) and putting all the outdoor Christmas stuff away, because he was tired and sore from this stupid training. So I literally said, “When is your marathon?… Okay so after that date, this bullshit running stops and I never have to deal with it again, correct? Because I’m done with it. My life and my kids’ lives will never be taken over by your stupid effing running again. Correct?” I swear, if he even peeps about wanting to run another marathon after this, I’m throwing his shit out into the street.

It doesn’t help that my stupid cats have become obsessed with the trash can next to my bed, so I was up at 3:00 fighting with the cats and ultimately locking one in his room, then DS decided he needed to get up at 5:00 to “be the early bird.” I’m exhausted and very tired of solo parenting so DH can spend all of his time running, preparing to run, and recovering from running. I just told him if DS decides to get up at 5:00 tomorrow, he’s getting up with him.

My H ran Dopey at Disney a few weeks ago - 48.6 miles over 4 days. The training was insanity and I told him we need to regroup as a family on the time commitment.

Also can’t your H do his long runs during the work week? That would leave your weekends more available.

[twinmomma]

Beau and I went to look at a house today. It’s really a condo townhouse, not a single family home. It’s twice the square footage we have now. Finished basement, 2 bathrooms, one car garage, end unit. All things that check our boxes. The price point is pretty great. With our down payment we would essentially be paying the same that we pay now for my current house. On paper it is perfect and we should just go for it. And we are going to take the kids to go see it and talk with our realtor about making an offer. But I think we are both a little bummed that this isn’t our “dream home” and isn’t what we pictured. But it would put us in a better space than we have now and we wouldn’t end up house poor. All of our dream homes would have us scrimping by every month and we really don’t want to do that. It just feels weird that we aren’t more excited about it.

[mae0111]

twinmomma - have you owned a condo before? They can be great, but they can be messy. You may want to ask some questions about the financials just in case. I really wish I had.

ETA: about the association, I mean. DH and I both owned condos in the same neighborhood. His association was AMAZING. Mine was a total nightmare. Let me know if you need a list of questions that I should have asked 😬

[186momx]

DD and I have been running non-stop since Christmas. We had things planned for the weekend but decided to skip them and just have a chill weekend. I told DD she could have a Harry Potter movie marathon. Lots of TV and couch snuggling, which is much needed.

DD meet was good. She looked better even if her scores were lower. They gave everyone medals for all around and she wasn't happy about getting a pity medal. She took 12th out of 14th and had to scratch bars again. The medal made her feel worse not better.

[twinmomma]

mae0111 neither of us have owned a condo before. My sister does and I’ve heard horror stories about her association. This is a very small association, I think it’s like 20 townhouses total? A colleague at work lives there so I talked with her about how the association is. She said they’re pretty good and warned us that the buildings will all get new siding this year so to expect the assessment fee for that. But otherwise they’re reasonable and the fee covers all things we pay privately for now, so the cost isn’t bad.

[mae0111]

Condos/townhomes can be awesome. I was in a very small association, and there were a lot of problems and a lot of fighting. But there were only 3 units. Dh’s had 6 and everyone was fantastic.

A few questions you may want to ask…

1. How old is the roof? If there is a problem/leak that only affects one unit, how is that handled?

2. What do the reserves look like? We had trouble selling my co do because reserves were too low. One unit refused to pay fees (or his mortgage) and every 6 months we would have to start legal proceedings to get the association’s money.

3. What are the rules/restrictions around renting out units? Is there a threshold? Banks are pulling back on lending in cases where the proportion of rental units is too high - which could be an issue when/if you decide to sell.

4. Are there any assessments pending beyond the siding?

5. What exactly do the fees include? Ours included water, insurance, and common electric, but not snow removal or cleaning of common areas. Landscaping was not an issue because we were in the city and the only green space was deeded to a particular unit.

6. What sort of approval is needed to improve your home? Not a condo, but we needed to get homeowner association approval to replace the roof on MILs house.

7. Pet restrictions (in case you ever decide). If you have a yard, can you fence it?

8. Any pending lawsuits against the association? Or maybe a better way to ask this to be more inclusive of any sort of judgments…

I’m sorry if these are super obvious. I didn’t know to ask about any of this and I found myself in a bit of a mess, mostly due to the one smack head that bought one unit after I moved in.

[dglvrk2]

Jan 21, 2023 21:26:56 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

DH is supposed to run a marathon in one month and 3 days. I am so sick of his stupid marathon training governing our lives. Today he had his 19 mile training run. I think next week is his 20 mile. Every single time he’s trained for a marathon, he gets injured at about this point. But this evening I finally had a bit of a temper tantrum because we couldn’t go out to dinner after my doing all the things for the kids all day (getting haircuts, finding and booking an orthodontist appointment for DD, taking the kids to get lunch some place they could play) and putting all the outdoor Christmas stuff away, because he was tired and sore from this stupid training. So I literally said, “When is your marathon?… Okay so after that date, this bullshit running stops and I never have to deal with it again, correct? Because I’m done with it. My life and my kids’ lives will never be taken over by your stupid effing running again. Correct?” I swear, if he even peeps about wanting to run another marathon after this, I’m throwing his shit out into the street.

It doesn’t help that my stupid cats have become obsessed with the trash can next to my bed, so I was up at 3:00 fighting with the cats and ultimately locking one in his room, then DS decided he needed to get up at 5:00 to “be the early bird.” I’m exhausted and very tired of solo parenting so DH can spend all of his time running, preparing to run, and recovering from running. I just told him if DS decides to get up at 5:00 tomorrow, he’s getting up with him.

As the marathon running spouse...I'll say a few things:
1. His training shouldn't impose on you family life to the extent that you cannot go to dinner. If he's too tired to eat meals with the family and help with chores/adulting, perhaps he is not ready to run this marathon. How you recover is indicative of how in shape you are. He may not feel amazing after these long runs, but he should be able to maintain daily obligations.

2. This is the hardest part of the training. After a 20-23 miler, (think 3.5 hours of running) he should be tapering and feeling better.

3. Can you two come to an agreement for his run times? Realistically, the long runs should be done around the same time of day he will run the marathon and on days he doesn't work. Perhaps he can get up early to do these so he has the rest of the day to balance family obligations with you.
Perhaps I'm a harda** or a generous mother, (I'm going more with the former) but I'm back in parent/wife/adult mode within an hour after a long run.

[twinmomma]

mae0111, Thank you! These are all really helpful! We went to go look at the house without our realtor because it's being sold by an acquaintance from the kids' school so she had us come check it out when I messaged her. I talked to our realtor last night and she had a lot of the same questions as you. She's going to spend today digging into the association and getting all the details. She's pretty ruthless, so I'm sure she'll uncover whatever issues there may be! The condo fee includes snow removal, landscaping, and trash removal.

The earliest we can get an offer in would be the weekend by the time we get the kids back, take them to check it out, and work out all the pre-approval financing stuff. So we've basically decided that if it works out, amazing! And if it doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be. Going to look at it kind of fell into our laps this past weekend.

[mae0111]

twinmomma, That's great about your realtor. My realtor was useless at best. Lovely person, but really did nothing to help me. I'm glad you have someone on your side, and I hope it works out because it sounds absolutely perfect!