Kind of wedding S/O-any drama at your wedding?

[livinitup]

One of my wedding invitations came back to my house all ripped and mangled by the post office. But not before my mom received a tense phone call from another relative asking “why aunt so&so wasn’t invited?” And could we please invite her.

Of course we invited Aunt so&so! We mailed the invitation again - my mom placed the original invitation WITH the mangled envelope in a fresh envelope as proof. Just to ensure no hard feelings. Because, of course.

[cattledogkisses]

We got married at a historic inn and had reserved a block of rooms for close friends and family on our credit card. Between then and the wedding our credit card info got stolen, and we had to get a new card. No biggie, except we forgot to update the inn. The morning after our wedding, we left to go to the airport for our honeymoon. My parents were checking out, and reception was like... I think these people skipped out on their bill, we're trying to run their card info and it doesn't work. My parents quickly figured out that it was us and were like, we've got this, and paid our bill.

Oops. We still joke about it with them to this day.

[litskispeciality]

Quazi related - my new co-worker is getting married at the end of 2023. Her friend was a 2020 bride who went through rescheduling hell. The 2020 bride recommended putting everything on their Discover credit card, as 2020 bride was able to fight charges for venue that closed but never refunded. Apparently the 2020 bride and Discover are still at odds with the closed venue, there might even be a lawsuit. The 2023 bride said she's running in to a lot of "you can't pay with a credit card" responses from vendors, probably for that reason...but that's BS because you shouldn't have to pay if services aren't rendered.

I forgot we also had a groomsman (I didn't want in the wedding), the one who was almost late to the ceremony...he never sent his RSVP, and he was bringing a date when we were a bit tacky about plus ones, but we were on a budget. One of the military wives had to talk me down that "this is (his) man behavior, and he'll be at the wedding", but FFS even 10 - 12 years ago you could text or FB message "hey I'm coming and my dates name is x", esp if you're IN the damn wedding. Shockingly this guy was a PITA when we were doing pictures and hard to nail down. This was not his first groomsman gig.

I also forgot about a wedding I went to with DH when we first started dating. This was back before 2010 so keep in mind it was harder to find long lost friends. DH (BF at the time) got invited to a military buddies wedding. They no longer served together/weren't in touch on a regular basis, so he was surprised to get invited. DH being a planned life long bachelor returned the RSVP with no date information. I don't remember if we were dating yet. The day of the wedding the place setting literally said "DH's name and guest". Whatever, I figured maybe I wasn't in the picture yet. Another guest we didn't know says "so DH's name, were you keeping your options open for which date to bring?" That guest's wife was mortified. Thankfully the bride and groom never heard the comment, but I think they would have been like "that's so and so!" ::shrug::

[waverly]

I've written and guest when they RSVPed for 2, but they didn't tell me the name of the person that was coming. I guess if someone is RSVPing and they think there might be a seating chart they should tell them the name, but I don't think it is an etiquette issue either way. I think some of the RSVP cards have a place to write the name.

[bex1973]

Feb 2, 2023 16:17:37 GMT -5 waverly said:

I've written and guest when they RSVPed for 2, but they didn't tell me the name of the person that was coming. I guess if someone is RSVPing and they think there might be a seating chart they should tell them the name, but I don't think it is an etiquette issue either way. I think some of the RSVP cards have a place to write the name.

This reminds me that I learned recently that H didn't know that the line on the RSVP card was to write your name. Since we've been together I think I must have done all our rsvps but we recently had one to return and he told kid that was "maybe just a decoration" I was like - wait what!?!? When was genuinely surprised when I corrected him. I told him he needed to apologize to every couple that he sent a blank rsvp to before we got together LOL  He had no good answer when I asked him how he thought they knew it was him saying that he would be attending? 

[penguingrrl]

Feb 2, 2023 16:30:40 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

Feb 2, 2023 16:17:37 GMT -5 waverly said:

I've written and guest when they RSVPed for 2, but they didn't tell me the name of the person that was coming. I guess if someone is RSVPing and they think there might be a seating chart they should tell them the name, but I don't think it is an etiquette issue either way. I think some of the RSVP cards have a place to write the name.

This reminds me that I learned recently that H didn't know that the line on the RSVP card was to write your name. Since we've been together I think I must have done all our rsvps but we recently had one to return and he told kid that was "maybe just a decoration" I was like - wait what!?!? When was genuinely surprised when I corrected him. I told him he needed to apologize to every couple that he sent a blank rsvp to before we got together LOL  He had no good answer when I asked him how he thought they knew it was him saying that he would be attending? 

I remember getting (and following) advice to pencil in a number on each return card before mailing them out so if people forgot to put their name on it you would know who it was. I did it, but it ended up being unnecessary, but now I know where that advice comes from!

[basilosaurus]

After I was engaged, and it was about 4 months from our wedding, I was listed as "and guest" on his cousin's invite. I didn't fuss, but that was pretty wtf.

This was a rare outdoor catholic wedding, hot with tree sap dripping on us. The priest didn't tell them to kiss, so H's aunt who did have some brain damage, got up and yelled "they need to kiss." We were on the 30 person side, the bride had like 200 firefighters (or maybe cops? maybe both?). We had a lot of eyes on us after that lol. Then aunt, as we were filing out, told us the racy things she bought for her bridal shower. What can you do but laugh?!

[dale]

Feb 2, 2023 16:59:43 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Feb 2, 2023 16:30:40 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

This reminds me that I learned recently that H didn't know that the line on the RSVP card was to write your name. Since we've been together I think I must have done all our rsvps but we recently had one to return and he told kid that was "maybe just a decoration" I was like - wait what!?!? When was genuinely surprised when I corrected him. I told him he needed to apologize to every couple that he sent a blank rsvp to before we got together LOL  He had no good answer when I asked him how he thought they knew it was him saying that he would be attending? 

I remember getting (and following) advice to pencil in a number on each return card before mailing them out so if people forgot to put their name on it you would know who it was. I did it, but it ended up being unnecessary, but now I know where that advice comes from!

I was so happy that I did that. It turned out that trusting our moms to know everybody's name was wrong. MIL invited her niece "Mary Smith" but the card came back as "Jane Jones." When we asked her, MIL told us "Nobody calls her Jane and I forgot she was married now." 

And I have a cousin I had only known by her nickname our whole lives. I asked my mom her full name and used that for the invite. The invite came back with a different name. Turns out my mom was wrong for 40+ years. 

[waverly]

I was in 3 weddings. The first one, I flew in for. The bride forgot to tell me when the rehearsal was, I had to text her 2 times for that. She gave no indication of a rehearsal dinner, but apparently they decided to go to Little Caesars and didn't tell us. We even said our goodbyes and said we were hungry and getting food and they never said hey do you want to go to the pizza place with us. She said they might get pizza but it sounded like pickup not going out to eat. It might have been later, but still at least ask since I am in the bridal party. I don't know if they considered it a rehearsal dinner but one of the groomsmen did and told me about it at the reception, and I felt crappy that we were excluded. She also invited 1-2 girls with her to get their hair done and didn't ask me. She brought in necklaces and had 1 too few. I got a necklace but one of the bridesmaids didn't. I saw her a year later just to say I still see her after the wedding, but I was pretty hurt that we bought 2 place tickets and a dress and were excluded from their rehearsal dinner and getting ready portion of the event. I guess if I pestered her about it I would have been invited but I didn't know that was a thing to pester her about. I didn't know it was happening. I guess they decorated and got pizza so maybe it wasn't something planned overall, but they could have at least asked since it is a traditional bridal party event.

The other weddings were overall better. The one had the rudest make up artist who attacked me with the brush and said it was my fault that it was painful. The MOB insisted we get our make up done, and she did pay for it, but still I would prefer to just do my own and skip the mean lady. They divorced 4 years later.

The other one the bride was mad because her band was so loud that everyone went outside. I realize that I did not validate her feelings when I complimented her wedding, my bad, but I was also in the middle of a high risk pregnancy, so she can get her emotional support elsewhere. Instead she stomped off and all around, and definitely left a bad feeling for everyone that saw her stomping around. It was a simple fix too, she could have just asked them to turn down the music. But she had hired a rock band that plays at a club for a wedding, so there was a mismatch of styles lets say.

Now we can all tell bridesmaid stories. I will never be in another wedding and I am so excited to never be asked. And I am sure I won't be asked again but if so I plan to say oh I'd rather attend as a guest.

[fumbalina]

My caterer was four hours late lol so no food but no other drama.

[pierogigirl]

fumbalina I have questions about your caterer no show. Why didn't they come? Did you get all your money back? Did guests leave early or did you order pizzas or other fast food? How was the rest of the wedding and do you have good memories of the day?

[fumbalina]

Feb 4, 2023 15:53:55 GMT -5 pierogigirl said:

fumbalina I have questions about your caterer no show. Why didn't they come? Did you get all your money back? Did guests leave early or did you order pizzas or other fast food? How was the rest of the wedding and do you have good memories of the day?

We never did get the money back. We took the caterer to small claims court and won, but he went bankrupt instead of paying us back. He did not show because his main refrigerated truck broke down, and then his back up truck got a flat (or so he said). 

Some of my cousins went and got McDonald's. We should have ordered pizzas, but every time we called (from different phones, he stopped answering mine after the first call), he said he would be there in about 15 minutes. My baker on the other hand did show up on time so we had cake, and my mom did not want to pay anyone else to bring the drinks, so we had a self serve bar that she had stocked. My brother DJed for me as well. So the only thing missing was the main food which was supposed to be chicken, rolls, veggies, and pasta. 

The wedding itself was not too bad except neither me or my husband seemed to be able to tell left from right that particular day. 

The main take away I had from my reception was that my FIL was afraid of my aunt who is a nun and thought he needed a specialized invitation to be able to speak to her at all. But for the most part the only issue was the lack of food, combined with plenty of alcohol. 

[pierogigirl]

Feb 4, 2023 16:17:19 GMT -5 fumbalina said:

Feb 4, 2023 15:53:55 GMT -5 pierogigirl said:

fumbalina I have questions about your caterer no show. Why didn't they come? Did you get all your money back? Did guests leave early or did you order pizzas or other fast food? How was the rest of the wedding and do you have good memories of the day?

We never did get the money back. We took the caterer to small claims court and won, but he went bankrupt instead of paying us back. He did not show because his main refrigerated truck broke down, and then his back up truck got a flat (or so he said). 

Some of my cousins went and got McDonald's. We should have ordered pizzas, but every time we called (from different phones, he stopped answering mine after the first call), he said he would be there in about 15 minutes. My baker on the other hand did show up on time so we had cake, and my mom did not want to pay anyone else to bring the drinks, so we had a self serve bar that she had stocked. My brother DJed for me as well. So the only thing missing was the main food which was supposed to be chicken, rolls, veggies, and pasta. 

The wedding itself was not too bad except neither me or my husband seemed to be able to tell left from right that particular day. 

The main take away I had from my reception was that my FIL was afraid of my aunt who is a nun and thought he needed a specialized invitation to be able to speak to her at all. But for the most part the only issue was the lack of food, combined with plenty of alcohol. 

Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you didn't get your money back. It sounds like the rest of the wedding was good. Cake is the best part of the food at weddings, IMO, so I'm glad you had that.