Our wedding didn't have much drama...just things that annoyed me.
One of my BM's had three siblings. I wasn't close to the siblings and only sent an invite to her parents. After the invites went out she asked me if all her siblings can come and bring a date- so tacky. I was like yeah I guess...I should have said no but was caught off guard. Her parents did give us a generous check but I was still annoyed by it all. Her older sister got married a year later and didn't invite us. lol
After the ceremony I caught my teenage step cousin trying to change into daisy duke shorts and a crop top for the reception. I was like "nope! You cannot wear that to the reception, get back in your dress please!" She did change back. She was trying to hit on all my brothers friends all night ugh Then we get to the reception and I see my SIL and BIL have changed into jeans. I know BIL was from a rural area in Indiana and I'm sure that is what they did for weddings there but my wedding was in Dallas and that is not the norm. In the grand scheme of things it didn't matter but still bothered me!
Post by maudefindlay on Jan 27, 2023 12:22:57 GMT -5
egishere that is not the norm in Indiana. I think that is just a SIL/BIL thing. People ditch ties/dress coats etc as receptions go on, but people generally keep their wedding ceremony attire on for receptions.
maudefindlay, yeah I've been to plenty of relatives weddings in IN (my parents are from there) and never seen people change into jeans but never any weddings in a farm/rural area which is where BIL is from. I really do think that is what they do in their circle!
egishere that is not the norm in Indiana. I think that is just a SIL/BIL thing. People ditch ties/dress coats etc as receptions go on, but people generally keep their wedding ceremony attire on for receptions.
Come on! Everyone knows Indiana is known for this 🤣🤣.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
egishere that is not the norm in Indiana. I think that is just a SIL/BIL thing. People ditch ties/dress coats etc as receptions go on, but people generally keep their wedding ceremony attire on for receptions.
Come on! Everyone knows Indiana is known for this 🤣🤣.
Ha! After my brother's reception about 5 of us had to search for the bolero jacket my Mom had worn over her gown. We found it embedded in a large floral display...right where she had apparently flung it from the dance floor earlier in the evening. It must have been prohibiting all the dance moves she let loose. In her defense she never thought he'd get married, so she was really celebrating.
So, when someone RSVPs “yes” to a wedding but no-shows on the day, was it your experience that they didn’t send you a gift at all?
I know it’s not generally fashionable to “cover your plate” with the generous of your wedding gift, but I thought it was common knowledge that you COST the wedding hosts a good bit when they paid for your RSVP. Was it really “tra la la” with everyone who didn’t show up? And why does this shock me? I can be pretty stupid.
I'm pretty sure they no-showed and didn't send a gift. (I don't recall if there were any emergencies or not. I completely would have understood why they didn't come if it was because of an emergency.) For me, I would have at least preferred that they showed up with no gift than no-show + no gift.
Ha, my brother has worn jeans (sometimes black jeans if he's feeling fancy) to every wedding he has ever attended, unless he was in the wedding.
A couple people wore jeans to my wedding, which was a pretty standard Saturday evening event at a reception hall. I honestly did not care what guests wore.
To be fair, I also would have no idea what to do with that dress code. But so awkward.
Oh I agree lol. I straight up asked her wth it meant, so I totally understand not knowing what to do. But, yeah, wasn't expecting a full-on bashing thread on here
Edit: Pilsy, neither my BFF nor our mutual friend are members of this board, and the mutual friend only found it because it showed up in her google search for the very specific dress code lol.
Post by definitelyO on Jan 27, 2023 17:05:26 GMT -5
s/o jeans to weddings - my 2nd cousin's wedding in SE MIchigan (so not far from IN.. ) the dress code said semi-formal. I was side-eying the semi-formal as I knew the venue and our town and family. Sure enough - guests showed up in their farm jeans, tshirts, not kidding red bandanas, etc... it was a complete hodge podge of attire - but they were all there in support and love of her - and IMO that's what matters (speaking as someone who got married 20 years ago and has moved on )
To be fair, I also would have no idea what to do with that dress code. But so awkward.
Oh I agree lol. I straight up asked her wth it meant, so I totally understand not knowing what to do. But, yeah, wasn't expecting a full-on bashing thread on here
Edit: Pilsy, neither my BFF nor our mutual friend are members of this board, and the mutual friend only found it because it showed up in her google search for the very specific dress code lol.
I gathered that but wondered if you told the friend who found the post that YOU are a poster here. Just curious!
So, when someone RSVPs “yes” to a wedding but no-shows on the day, was it your experience that they didn’t send you a gift at all?
I know it’s not generally fashionable to “cover your plate” with the generous of your wedding gift, but I thought it was common knowledge that you COST the wedding hosts a good bit when they paid for your RSVP. Was it really “tra la la” with everyone who didn’t show up? And why does this shock me? I can be pretty stupid.
I can tell you what you don’t do. I worked for a tiny company and invited everyone to my wedding (it was 18 people total including spouses, so super small). My boss and his wife couldn’t make it last minute due to a family emergency, completely understandable. They never gave a gift, but I saw my boss’s wife 3x in the 6 months after the wedding and she said all 3 times that she had a card with a check for us and she would make sure boss gave it to me. He never did. It was super weird. It’s fine that they didn’t give me a gift. But don’t tell me multiple times that you are going to and THEN not give it to me. She even mentioned the cost of them missing the wedding to me. She was always weird and I don’t think she liked me, which made it even more awkward.
So, when someone RSVPs “yes” to a wedding but no-shows on the day, was it your experience that they didn’t send you a gift at all?
I know it’s not generally fashionable to “cover your plate” with the generous of your wedding gift, but I thought it was common knowledge that you COST the wedding hosts a good bit when they paid for your RSVP. Was it really “tra la la” with everyone who didn’t show up? And why does this shock me? I can be pretty stupid.
I'm pretty sure they no-showed and didn't send a gift. (I don't recall if there were any emergencies or not. I completely would have understood why they didn't come if it was because of an emergency.) For me, I would have at least preferred that they showed up with no gift than no-show + no gift.
We had someone no show and send a check that bounced.
Nola weddings are different! We don’t do sit down dinners, we have many stations and passed hors d’oeuvres. There are tables but not assigned seats and generally not a chair for every butt. Bar is immediately open, no cocktail hour. It’s just like a huge party. And you pay for X amount of people, so it’s a loose ball park, you aren’t losing money if someone now shows.
We had no drama and I couldn’t tell you if someone didn’t send a gift.
I was an adult before I attended a sit down dinner, I’ve now been to maybe 6, all out of state.
Now that I am thinking of it, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding here in Baltimore! My cousins are all much older than me and all of our local friends are either long time single, and/or never married/ never will get married or were married when we met them.
We’ve been to a lot of weddings but all in NYC or New Jersey which were all pretty fancy, sit down events. One had someone literally making cheese at the cocktail hour.
Who knows what people here are doing? Putting Old Bay on the cake? Veils trimmed with our ugly flag?
Who here had the beautiful desert wedding with no officiant and no guests/wedding party? Just the couple and their photographer? I remember that was the first time I had ever heard you could be “self married” (there has to be a better term than what I just pulled out of my butt)
Anyway, after reading this thread, that was the way to go. Out in the desert by yourself.
Not out in the desert by ourselves, but maybe sorta close?
Our friend who was supposed to be our officiant couldn't get our county to recognize his internet-ordainment (LOL), so he couldn't legally marry us. We opted for the county court center 2 days before the "official day". It was just H and me, and the county rep (CK). I wore a purple boucle suit, H wore a dark gray suit & purple shirt, we exchanged wedding gifts to each other in the car in the parking garage (a diamond necklace for me, a watch for H), and we stood at one end of a conference room for CK to marry us.
It poured down rain that whole day, and we had our wedding lunch at Panera by our house. We told our parents and our wedding party what was happening. At the time, our parents said to just go, just us, and they'd celebrate with us the rest of the wedding weekend. To this day, no one but the wedding party knows that's how it went down. All the parents at the time said they were fine with it just being the 2 of us, but upon reflection, almost 20 years later, H/I AND both sets of parents wish they would have been in that conference room with us.
Re: drama, the only real drama was that I had arranged for some of my students who were in a string quartet to play at the secular chapel where the ceremony was. Somehow the lead musician got it into her head that we weren't going to pay them. So I had to stop doing pictures/socializing and whip out my checkbook to pay them. I brought my checkbook specifically to be able to pay them, so I don't understand why she didn't think I was going to pay! OMG.
My caterer wanted me to have bottled beer because our wedding was out on a farm, but we wanted kegs. They kept saying "what if the tap fails" so we got two taps for each keg., Well, they conveniently "forgot" we did kegs and they didn't bring any beer glasses - so they found my DAD and asked him to go out and get keg cups at the local market - luckily a good friend's mom ran up and got them but we had red solo cups at our elegant wedding.
This reminds me of one of the best fights on my TK month board-one baby bride (she was 19) had an absolute meltdown insisting that all beer had to be poured into a glass because women drinking directly out of a bottle was TRASHY.
It was like 15+ pages of screaming at each other. The best.
I have absolutely no clue if the beer at my wedding was served in a bottle or in a glass.
The bold, that's hilarious! The best picture that was taken of my dad and me at my wedding included me holding a bottle of Miller Lite. It's very prominent in the picture, lol.
I'm pretty sure they no-showed and didn't send a gift. (I don't recall if there were any emergencies or not. I completely would have understood why they didn't come if it was because of an emergency.) For me, I would have at least preferred that they showed up with no gift than no-show + no gift.
We had someone no show and send a check that bounced.
We had someone invite themselves last minute (it was the brother of one of dh's long time hs friends who was unexpectedly home from the military and we were hanging out a few days before the wedding and he asked if he could come. We knew we had room so we said sure, why not). He showed up, with a date, and didn't bring a gift, nor did the hs friend who was actually invited. Their parents were also invited and did give us a gift, so I've always wondered if these boys thought their parents giving us a gift meant it was from them too, but the card was signed just from the parents (and it's not like we were kids, we were 27 when we got married). I was surprised at the number of people we didn't get gifts from, not really because I was mad to not get gifts, just because i was unexpected and I felt awkward then about sending thank you cards that just said thank you for attending our wedding and celebrating with us.
Most of my wedding drama was leading up to it. My ILs lived OOT from the wedding and insisted DH let “as many of the family as possible” stay at his house for the whole wedding weekend. Which was like 700sq ft with 1 bed and 1 bathroom. It’s not like we lived in a rural area. There were tons of hotels nearby. But no it had to be free bc my ILs are super cheap and got it in their head that no one on their side would attend if it cost them money, which I’m sure was never true but whatever. We told them there’s no space but MIL insisted people could sleep in a tent in the backyard if needed.
I told DH no way and thought that we could gift the ILs a hotel room and stay at the same place ourselves so we could “all be together.” DH floated this idea to them and they were super offended. MIL called him at work and cried about it. I ended up caving and DH & I stayed in the hotel without them. F/MIL slept in our bed, his siblings & their SOs were in tents, MIL’s sister (who was like 70yo at the time) took the only couch and I don’t even know who all slept on the floor. When someone asked her at the RD where she was staying MIL told them and then loudly announced she brought her own sheets. We’ve been married 20y and she’s still completely ridiculous about travel.
Oh I agree lol. I straight up asked her wth it meant, so I totally understand not knowing what to do. But, yeah, wasn't expecting a full-on bashing thread on here
Edit: Pilsy , neither my BFF nor our mutual friend are members of this board, and the mutual friend only found it because it showed up in her google search for the very specific dress code lol.
I gathered that but wondered if you told the friend who found the post that YOU are a poster here. Just curious!
Ah, I see! I did tell the mutual friend I'm familiar with this board but it didn't really come up afterward. And I did NOT tell her my screen name lol.
My dad's side of the family decided they had none of the cares for the seating arrangements I had spent so much time planning, and sat wherever they wanted. (At least stayed at the tables I had assigned them, I guess.)
wait, is this a thing? Literal seating arrangements at the table and then the folks move around at said table but are still at the table you assigned? Why would this be a bother at all? I genuinely do not get why this would be concerning or drama; am I missing something?
My dad's side of the family decided they had none of the cares for the seating arrangements I had spent so much time planning, and sat wherever they wanted. (At least stayed at the tables I had assigned them, I guess.)
wait, is this a thing? Literal seating arrangements at the table and then the folks move around at said table but are still at the table you assigned? Why would this be a bother at all? I genuinely do not get why this would be concerning or drama; am I missing something?
oh on second read, i am with you.
actual SEATS were assigned? not just tables? what in the world?
wait, is this a thing? Literal seating arrangements at the table and then the folks move around at said table but are still at the table you assigned? Why would this be a bother at all? I genuinely do not get why this would be concerning or drama; am I missing something?
oh on second read, i am with you.
actual SEATS were assigned? not just tables? what in the world?
I’ve been to weddings where we had name cards on the table, I don’t think that’s weird. It’s also fine if they moved around and stayed at their own table, though.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
actual SEATS were assigned? not just tables? what in the world?
I’ve been to weddings where we had name cards on the table, I don’t think that’s weird. It’s also fine if they moved around and stayed at their own table, though.
right, I have been to two formal weddings with assigned SEATS and not just tables, but we have gotten up and swapped seats with other people at our table as well.
I guess it could be a problem if people RSVPd for a certain meal and the servers just knew that the person at 2 o'clock had steak, 3 o'clock had fish and so forth, so if they switched, that could mess things up for the servers?
i have never heard of actual seats being assigned, let alone someone getting upset over people moving a bit within the same table.
this is just a specific thing that i have not experienced and therefore am surprised that it exsists. i dont like it in theory, but i promise i'm not calling anyone a terrible person if they did this or are doing it at their wedding.
i have never heard of actual seats being assigned, let alone someone getting upset over people moving a bit within the same table.
this is just a specific thing that i have not experienced and therefore am surprised that it exsists. i dont like it in theory, but i promise i'm not calling anyone a terrible person if they did this or are doing it at their wedding.
What don’t you like about it in theory? Presumably the bride and groom are putting people who know and like each other together? I’ve never given it a second thought when it’s happened. Lol
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
i have never heard of actual seats being assigned, let alone someone getting upset over people moving a bit within the same table.
this is just a specific thing that i have not experienced and therefore am surprised that it exsists. i dont like it in theory, but i promise i'm not calling anyone a terrible person if they did this or are doing it at their wedding.
What don’t you like about it in theory? Presumably the bride and groom are putting people who know and like each other together? I’ve never given it a second thought when it’s happened. Lol
i've sat at some super random tables at weddings recently so i'm sure that's throwing me off here! most recent wedding i attended, my H and i sat with the bride's childhood neighbors while our group of friends was spread among 3 other tables instead of just having one table for our group. i never complained to a soul except my husband! i smiled and did my best to chit chat awkwardly
idk. just let me sit and eat and chit chat with whomever.
i have never heard of actual seats being assigned, let alone someone getting upset over people moving a bit within the same table.
this is just a specific thing that i have not experienced and therefore am surprised that it exsists. i dont like it in theory, but i promise i'm not calling anyone a terrible person if they did this or are doing it at their wedding.
What don’t you like about it in theory? Presumably the bride and groom are putting people who know and like each other together? I’ve never given it a second thought when it’s happened. Lol
it just seems like so much unnecessary extra work! lol.
Is this where I admit that for my wedding nearly 15 years ago I didn't do assigned seating at all? I wish in hindsight that I had, but it was a pretty casual wedding.
i have never heard of actual seats being assigned, let alone someone getting upset over people moving a bit within the same table.
this is just a specific thing that i have not experienced and therefore am surprised that it exsists. i dont like it in theory, but i promise i'm not calling anyone a terrible person if they did this or are doing it at their wedding.
What don’t you like about it in theory? Presumably the bride and groom are putting people who know and like each other together? I’ve never given it a second thought when it’s happened. Lol
I might want to sit next to someone else to chat with them. Like, at cousin’s weddings I could see being sat next to H but I would rather be able to talk to my sister and be next to her, or if cousins I rarely see are also at the table I would absolutely prefer to have time to talk to them instead of being next to H the whole time.