The food choice could be the only reason I would get the assigned seating.
But I was way breezy about that kind of stuff - we didn’t do RSVP’s, no assigned tables (buffet and passed apps). Mainly because our venue really didn’t yield itself to it and also it seems like most weddings in our circle it’s more like a cocktail party but with lots of food and drinks.
The food choice could be the only reason I would get the assigned seating.
But I was way breezy about that kind of stuff - we didn’t do RSVP’s, no assigned tables (buffet and passed apps). Mainly because our venue really didn’t yield itself to it and also it seems like most weddings in our circle it’s more like a cocktail party but with lots of food and drinks.
I am assuming that is it, which makes sense and I no longer question why it would be done. I do question how people moving from one seat to another at the same table is actually drama, however. Simply tell the server you moved or hand the right person the incorrect meal you received.
The food choice could be the only reason I would get the assigned seating.
But I was way breezy about that kind of stuff - we didn’t do RSVP’s, no assigned tables (buffet and passed apps). Mainly because our venue really didn’t yield itself to it and also it seems like most weddings in our circle it’s more like a cocktail party but with lots of food and drinks.
I am assuming that is it, which makes sense and I no longer question why it would be done. I do question how people moving from one seat to another at the same table is actually drama, however. Simply tell the server you moved or hand the right person the incorrect meal you received.
What don’t you like about it in theory? Presumably the bride and groom are putting people who know and like each other together? I’ve never given it a second thought when it’s happened. Lol
it just seems like so much unnecessary extra work! lol.
Is this where I admit that for my wedding nearly 15 years ago I didn't do assigned seating at all? I wish in hindsight that I had, but it was a pretty casual wedding.
Well, I said early in here that we don’t even do seated dinners in Nola! But I certainly wasn’t thrown off by an assigned seat when I have attended formal, sit down weddings, lol. I mean, the tables aren’t SO big that you can’t talk to everyone sitting there.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
What don’t you like about it in theory? Presumably the bride and groom are putting people who know and like each other together? I’ve never given it a second thought when it’s happened. Lol
i've sat at some super random tables at weddings recently so i'm sure that's throwing me off here! most recent wedding i attended, my H and i sat with the bride's childhood neighbors while our group of friends was spread among 3 other tables instead of just having one table for our group. i never complained to a soul except my husband! i smiled and did my best to chit chat awkwardly
idk. just let me sit and eat and chit chat with whomever.
That sounds weird, and goes beyond a seat assignment, lol, sounds like she did some strange table assignments.
Last Edit: Jan 30, 2023 21:03:20 GMT -5 by mofongo
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
Yeah, we had assigned seating and place cards at our wedding due to food choices. We also had a fairly formal wedding with many courses. I think about 25% of the weddings we've been to have assigned seating. I'm in the south, maybe it's more traditional here? IDK
Here's a funny from my 1st wedding. We did a gift opening and I opened a box of drinking glasses from my dad's very eccentric cousin. The box looked a little worn so I opened the box and they had clearly been sitting down her basement for years, they were full of cobwebs and dead bugs. I started laughing so hard.
My 2nd wedding just had both mom's acting strange. My parents are pretty generous but my mom made no mention of contributing financially and showed absolutely no interest when I talked about the venue or menu. (she truly likes my husband so I don't know what her deal was) So we did the invites with just our names on them and I even gave my parents their invite about a week before I sent them out. My mom is also very old-fashioned and things like the wording on an invite are a huge deal to her. About a week after I sent them my mom said she was a little suprised we didn't include their names on it as well. I said we would be paying for it so why would we. She was like why would you pay for it, the parents of the bride always pay for it. So then I felt pretty bad but there was nothing I could do as the invites were out. Then literally 2 days before our wedding I had lunch with my mom and she said be sure you don't skimp on the food menu for your wedding, we want it to be nice. I was like mom the menu was decided months ago, it's too late to change anything now. MIL was a different story, she was actually kind of a b*tch. We had about 50 people total and the only assigned seating was the head table with us, DD, both parents and DH's grandpa. DH told his mom this the day before our wedding and she threw a fit saying she wanted to sit by her sister. She also threw a fit that day saying she didn't want to do pictures. On our actual wedding day DH had breakfast with his parents and MIL was in a better mood and they also told him they wanted to contribute $1000 towards our venue bill. Which was very nice of them but again, why wait until the day of to tell us this. MIL behaved well at the wedding but I was really nervous.
kanga1, people can be so weird about money! When MH and I got engaged, both my parents and ILs said they wanted to contribute (lucky us!). My mom said she would talk about it with my dad and let us know a figure. They got back to us a few weeks later. My ILs never got back to us, so once we were starting to plan we asked. They were really taken aback that we asked and took a really long time to get back to us. I really wonder if we hadn't followed up if they would have just cut a check afterwards without telling us the amount ahead of time.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Jan 30, 2023 15:15:12 GMT -5
I have a formal event for work tonight and just got a table assignment. I consider it a huge plus as an anxious person. Now I don't have to do the awkward social dance of figuring out where to sit.
i've sat at some super random tables at weddings recently so i'm sure that's throwing me off here! most recent wedding i attended, my H and i sat with the bride's childhood neighbors while our group of friends was spread among 3 other tables instead of just having one table for our group. i never complained to a soul except my husband! i smiled and did my best to chit chat awkwardly
idk. just let me sit and eat and chit chat with whomever.
Well that sounds weird, and goes beyond a seat assignment, lol, sounds like she did some strange table assignments.
i don’t mind assigned seating when the couple makes an effort to seat you with who you’d normally want to sit with. I’ve been to two weddings that wasn’t the case. 1 they wanted to “mix the families” so we sat with people from the grooms side who we’d never see again. It was a bit annoying. 2- a friends wedding where another friend said she only knew me, so i was sat with her and a bunch of random people instead of MY good friends!
I have a formal event for work tonight and just got a table assignment. I consider it a huge plus as an anxious person. Now I don't have to do the awkward social dance of figuring out where to sit.
i went to a bar mitzvah Saturday night and basically the same. I was taking DS and while i definitely knew some of the other parents, not all that well. And the time sitting at the tables was actually pretty minimal.
We thought long and hard about tables to try and group people with friends and make sure people who didn't know each other still had something in common (big fans of the same sports team, grew up in the same far off city/country, went to the same music festivals, whatever).
However, what I thought was a table of my law school friends and DH's med school friends turned out to be a table of vegan animal rights activists seated with a loud spoken guy who did experiments on lab animals. Big fail. (the other med school students were lovely).
Well that sounds weird, and goes beyond a seat assignment, lol, sounds like she did some strange table assignments.
i don’t mind assigned seating when the couple makes an effort to seat you with who you’d normally want to sit with. I’ve been to two weddings that wasn’t the case. 1 they wanted to “mix the families” so we sat with people from the grooms side who we’d never see again. It was a bit annoying. 2- a friends wedding where another friend said she only knew me, so i was sat with her and a bunch of random people instead of MY good friends!
Oh, that's right. I'm remembering back when I was planning my wedding there was some advice on The Knot and in my wedding magazines that was all "mix up the crowd. Don't sit people next to others they know." I guess it was supposed to help people mingle? IDK, I thought that was bad advice and if I were put in that situation, I'd feel really uncomfortable. But someone like my H, who is super extroverted and loves to talk to strangers would love it.
I sat people near each other, like my sisters sat with my dad and step mother and my family that flew in so they could catch up, my coworkers were sat together, etc.
Well that sounds weird, and goes beyond a seat assignment, lol, sounds like she did some strange table assignments.
i don’t mind assigned seating when the couple makes an effort to seat you with who you’d normally want to sit with. I’ve been to two weddings that wasn’t the case. 1 they wanted to “mix the families” so we sat with people from the grooms side who we’d never see again. It was a bit annoying. 2- a friends wedding where another friend said she only knew me, so i was sat with her and a bunch of random people instead of MY good friends!
I agree, this is weird, but this isn’t an assigned seat issue, it’s the entire table.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
i don’t mind assigned seating when the couple makes an effort to seat you with who you’d normally want to sit with. I’ve been to two weddings that wasn’t the case. 1 they wanted to “mix the families” so we sat with people from the grooms side who we’d never see again. It was a bit annoying. 2- a friends wedding where another friend said she only knew me, so i was sat with her and a bunch of random people instead of MY good friends!
Oh, that's right. I'm remembering back when I was planning my wedding there was some advice on The Knot and in my wedding magazines that was all "mix up the crowd. Don't sit people next to others they know." I guess it was supposed to help people mingle? IDK, I thought that was bad advice and if I were put in that situation, I'd feel really uncomfortable. But someone like my H, who is super extroverted and loves to talk to strangers would love it.
I sat people near each other, like my sisters sat with my dad and step mother and my family that flew in so they could catch up, my coworkers were sat together, etc.
I used to be in the wedding business and clients would plan to not have enough seating for all the guests so they would mingle. I told some of them if I didn't get a seat and had to stand to eat, I would not be happy. They wanted everyone to be "social".
We had a real life wedding crasher. A guy in his late 50's early 60's came in to the reception and I guess sat with some of my parents friends and had dinner. My husband saw him at the bar hanging out with his cousin and asked who he was and the guy admitted he was a wedding crasher. My H started talking to him and apparently he lived in the area and did it every once in awhile. My H said "you've had dinner and I see you've had a drink and now its time for you to leave" The guy seemed confused as to why he would have to leave. The staff escorted him out.
Fortunately, my H's cousin posed for photos with the guy and I put one in our album so we can forever remember our wedding crasher.
We thought about doing a seating chart... and then my wanting a sweetheart table for H and I caused so much passive aggressive drama that I refused to engage in further seating conversations. What a mess that would have been 😵
I thought of another to add. I did not want a church wedding. I really didn't want a religious ceremony at all, and I sure as hell didn't want an evangelical fundamentalist as the officiant. We compromised on a non-denominational officiant. He was so nice and very perceptive. As we were talking through what we wanted he asked if he should skip the "objections" part. Uh, yes. Definitely. Skip that.
I do wish I had asked to skip the whole "who's giving her away" bit too. But my parents were already in a (completely manufactured) tizzy about me not wanting my dad to walk me down the aisle, so...
We got our officiant a 6pack of his favorite beer (along with his fee) and his laugh when H gave it to him is still a really good memory 😀 ...can't remember his name though... which makes me sad. Honestly, he was the best part of the whole wedding I think. Our outdoor ceremony got rained out (no big deal really -- we just moved inside) which threw off the timing of the procession. I'm sure I was bright red when we got to the front of the reception hall and the music was wrong and I didn't know what to do and he just made eye contact with the DJ and kind of waved his hands. The music stopped and we got on with it. Good grief I am dying all over again remembering that 😅
Also, can you tell I'm killing time at the end of the workday?
Post by picksthemusic on Jan 30, 2023 17:04:51 GMT -5
No real drama, but DH's aunt tried lighting the exit sparklers IN THE RECEPTION BUILDING and acted totally clueless as to why she couldn't wave around a flaming object indoors.
My H’s grandmother no showed at our wedding. His aunt and cousin who she lived with declined, which we were surprised about but figured they had something going on or they were against a wedding in a Lutheran church? Nothing was ever said to us as to why they couldn’t come, so we just let it go. Turns out they were super mad we didn’t invite the other cousin (aunts oldest son)- but the last we heard this cousin was in jail and not on speaking terms with his mom, so why would we invite him?? If they had let us know he was released and living at home we would have invited him, but instead they acted like we did it out of spite and then H’s grandmother didn’t come because she didn’t want to upset the aunt. It was a whole thing afterwards and my IL’s were really pissed.
Also, I’m gonna come back to this thread in a few weeks because my cousin’s wedding is coming up soon and it’s the first time I will be in a room with my mom’s horrible husband in probably 7 years and while I can ignore him and pretend they both aren’t there, I know they won’t be able to. It’s going to be super awkward at the very least.
Oh I remembered one from my former marriage that irritated me so much at the time and still makes me think “WTF?”
One of my sisters didn’t think the bridal couple should get the whole first dance to themselves so she grabbed her husband and started waltzing away next to us about mid way through.
Post by basilosaurus on Jan 30, 2023 22:05:53 GMT -5
Not a wedding, but formal military events I've been to had assigned seats for food reasons. There was no issue moving after food was served. It was actually expected. If the military was nonplussed about deviation from plan, surely a wedding can handle that
Oh I remembered one from my former marriage that irritated me so much at the time and still makes me think “WTF?”
One of my sisters didn’t think the bridal couple should get the whole first dance to themselves so she grabbed her husband and started waltzing away next to us about mid way through.
Oh I remembered one from my former marriage that irritated me so much at the time and still makes me think “WTF?”
One of my sisters didn’t think the bridal couple should get the whole first dance to themselves so she grabbed her husband and started waltzing away next to us about mid way through.
that is just so bizarre?!?!
It was so damn weird. Like, I know some couples invite others to join them at some point, but we did not. She just took it upon herself to force the issue. Weirdo.
Oh I remembered one from my former marriage that irritated me so much at the time and still makes me think “WTF?”
One of my sisters didn’t think the bridal couple should get the whole first dance to themselves so she grabbed her husband and started waltzing away next to us about mid way through.
This made me LOL... because when my sister got married, she and BIL pulled me aside and told me that once their first dance started, count to 20 and drag the bridal party onto the floor. They did NOT want to be out there alone the whole time. So I tried... and the photographer pushed me back and yelled at me... while my sister was shooting daggers at me and signaling me to get on the floor...
I was 34 weeks pregnant when my sister got married the first time. For reference, I delivered at 36 weeks, and DD1 was 8.5lbs, so I was HUGE at that point.
Dinner was a buffet, so when it opened, DH and I were first in line to get plates FOR THE BRIDE AND GROOM. I carried the plates, DH put the food on. We got a little of everything so that they could taste all of the food, and I didn't want my rather clumsy sister carrying her own plate and risk spilling on her dress.
My cousin, very loudly, pointed out the GIANT PREGNANT LADY WITH ALL THE FOOD. Lots of laughter. Photographer snapped several photos while giggling. A great laugh was had by all - except for the giant pregnant lady with the huge swollen feet and ankles since she'd been running around doing Matron of Honor things all day.
Not a wedding, but formal military events I've been to had assigned seats for food reasons. There was no issue moving after food was served. It was actually expected. If the military was nonplussed about deviation from plan, surely a wedding can handle that
Which I think is exactly what ends up happening at most weddings too!
orval, I will always be amazed at not providing enough seating. What is it with couples wanting to force socializing?? It's a great way to make people actually leave early! I went to one wedding where it wasn't so much a lack of seating, but it was a cocktail reception with only passed apps, but then all the tables were set up in a way that if you were sitting in the "back", there was a good chance no food would ever get to you!
So a LOT of people made make-shift seating around the dance floor - and closer to the kitchen. We grabbed one of very few cocktail tables and ONE chair and we all rotated taking time to sit down.
The couple is a GREAT couple, but those two decisions (poor layout and passed apps) led to a lot of people leaving early, largely out of hunger!
My uncle (mom's side) got drunk and said creepy things to some of my cousins (dad's side). He then left the reception to walk to the villa we had rented on the grounds of the winery. He tripped and fell into the vines and ended up cutting himself pretty bad. He staggered back to the villa and bled all over it and the white linens :X
When my parents got married, they had someone have a heart attack and he ended up dying.