Open letters

[186momx]

Dear Rat in my house
Yes, I called all-out war on you and now you are a dead sucker.  
WPs I had DH set traps all over the place.  My house looked like a war zone but I couldn't go another day with the rat.  DH only had traps under the kitchen sink and it has been going on for 5 days.  The trap went off at 2am by the bathroom and it had the most pitiful cries but I didn't really care.  Deep cleaning is a must this weekend.
186momx

Dear DD
I really hope Harry Potter club during lunch is fun.
Mom who's kid doesn't want to go to school again

[mae0111]

186momx, omg I'm glad you caught it! I saw a wharf rat running into the basement of my old condo building (just a 3 unit building) and I literally called a realtor the next day. No thanks!

[186momx]

mae0111, we were dealing with them in our garden and woodshed over the summer. The whole neighborhood is dealing with them. Then they moved to the garage in Nov/Dec as they were eating my potatoes. This was a baby rat so somehow it came inside, and I think just got stuck. We have 3 neighbors near us that have chickens and have free range yards so lot of places for rodents to be. We also have a raccoon problem in the neighborhood. DH was killing a rat in a trap every couple days back in September and we thought they were gone.

[polecat8]

Dear school district,
Why did you decide to do remote learning today when there was only 1 inch of snow on the ground? We were the only district in the area that did that.
Signed,
I think you took a gamble that the weather was going to get bad and lost

Dear DH,
Sorry that you had to home school 3 kids today and sorry that I have to go teach 21 grad students for 3 hours tonight.
Enjoy your handful
Signed,
Sorry (notSorry)

Dear DD,
First you were elected "Most Artistic" of the 8th grade, got all A's and B's on your report card (Honor Roll), and then we got a really sweet note from your math teacher that said you aced a difficult quiz on algebraic equations that others struggled with. And last night you performed your form in front of the taekwondo class and did really well!
Daddy and I are so proud of you!
Signed,
You are killing it in 2023!

[twinmomma]

Dear boss,
Thanks for pushing my review earlier in the week! The "critical feedback" you mentioned was not really a thing at all, so that's a relief. And I got a raise and glowing review overall! Happy to kick off year 7 here.
Signed,
Happy Employee

Dear mortgage company,
For the love of god, how many more obscure forms do you need to pre-approve beau for a mortgage?! I know he's self employed, but this feels like it is getting ridiculous at this point. We really, really need to know if we can do an offer this weekend without a contingency that I have to sell my house first. It kind of makes a big difference in this whole process! We'll be putting 25% down now and then adding another 25% once we sell my house. That's a lot of cash! Approve us, please!!!
Signed,
Getting Stressed and Desperate

Dear homeowner,
You know us. You love my kids. Can we get first dibs if you get competing offers?
Thanks,
Want your house

[librarychica]

Dear vendors,

My timeline wasn’t unrealistic 6 weeks ago when you wanted a signed contract.

Sigh,
The road runners of December become the turtles of January

Dear vacation,

46 days.

Not that I’m counting,
I’m a librarian not a project manager

[librarychica]

Dear self,

Just because you’re going on vacation doesn’t mean you have to buy all the things.

Most sincerely,
Clicky finger

[waverly]

Dear boss,

I tried to contain my laughter when you asked if you could do a new payroll/ timekeeping system in 2-3 weeks. I advised 60 days. Not your fault, but I guess you chose the wrong vendor because it’s been 30 days and all they’ve done is the bare minimum. The scheduling software is not included which I didn’t think it was. I’m having a really hard time not saying I told you so. Lots of biting my tongue over here.

But they are actually so bad that you are firing them so that part I did not foresee.

[campermom]

PDQ
Dear Ex.
See you on Monday.
Bet you weren’t counting on me keeping a journal.
Campermom

[librarychica]

Dear waverly,

Do you work for me?

Sincerely,
Just kidding, I wasn’t that far off (but maybe I was close)

Dear campermom,

Good luck!

[dglvrk2]

Dear DH,
I wish I could do something about your work rut. I also wish you could help me plan something fun for spring break. I am know work ruts and being unable to get excited about anything go hand in hand. You were patient with me last year. I'll be patient with you now.
Your been there done that wife

Dear mom,
I would love to do a trip with you and Dad over spring break. However what you proposed would involve 20+ hours of driving. My family has already been there too and it's not someplace we feel compelled to visit again given the distance and scenery.
To add to this, H wants to have our next vacation be only our immediate family. Mostly be because of drama with his family during our last big get together.
Wish this wasn't so complicated.
Love,
Your minimalist daughter

[twinmomma]

Dear children,
I just about spit out my coffee when you started yelling this morning. And I think beau is ready to crawl into the earth and die.
"Mom, can you explain puberty to beau's son? He doesn't know what it is!"
"Mom, how do you describe a girl's period to beau's son?"
"Mom, beau's son doesn't get it!"
"Beau, explain puberty to your son!"
7:30 AM is too early for this conversation to occur in yelling voices from the second floor. I love you, but good lord.
Love,
Mom

[waverly]

Jan 25, 2023 21:38:43 GMT -5 librarychica said:

Dear waverly,

Do you work for me?

Sincerely,
Just kidding, I wasn’t that far off (but maybe I was close)

Dear campermom,

Good luck!

Unfortunately I’m in the Midwest for winter and not Florida.

[rere]

Dear Dd and Dh,

Yes we are going on a graduation trip this summer for Dd. But dd wanted to do something with friends, not just us. So now we are going with 3 other families of her friends. So. We cannot be in charge of where everyone is going. Dh, I realize that this is her trip for us, but not for everyone else. So quit bitching about every location and house. You are not totally in charge. This is why I washed my hands of all trip planning and booking many years ago and make you do it, because you are picky and have an opinion on EVERY SINGLE THING. We are getting together tonight to look at options, so I don't want to hear your complaining all the way home after the fact. I'm pretty happy with just a nice bed, my own bathroom, nice water, and good food.

Signed, in the middle.

[librarychica]

Jan 26, 2023 8:16:00 GMT -5 waverly said:

Jan 25, 2023 21:38:43 GMT -5 librarychica said:

Dear waverly,

Do you work for me?

Sincerely,
Just kidding, I wasn’t that far off (but maybe I was close)

Dear campermom,

Good luck!

Unfortunately I’m in the Midwest for winter and not Florida.

Our library system is award-winning and hiring!

[waverly]

Jan 26, 2023 9:44:50 GMT -5 librarychica said:

Jan 26, 2023 8:16:00 GMT -5 waverly said:

Unfortunately I’m in the Midwest for winter and not Florida.

Our library system is award-winning and hiring!

I'm not sure I could do the Florida summers, but I am always tempted around this time of year!  We took a vacation to Sarasota when the kids were little and I told him I would be a SAHM and go to the beach in the morning and the pool in the afternoon, and he vetoed me.  boo.  Dream ruiner.  He would never move to FL.  

[librarychica]

Jan 26, 2023 10:35:05 GMT -5 waverly said:

Jan 26, 2023 9:44:50 GMT -5 librarychica said:

Our library system is award-winning and hiring!

I'm not sure I could do the Florida summers, but I am always tempted around this time of year!  We took a vacation to Sarasota when the kids were little and I told him I would be a SAHM and go to the beach in the morning and the pool in the afternoon, and he vetoed me.  boo.  Dream ruiner.  He would never move to FL.  

So true. February is why people move to Florida. September is why they leave.

Well that and the wackiness that’s going on with our education system. And the crazy CoL increases. And the chaos that is the home insurance market. H and I have been researching other states. On one hand, literally all of both our families are here. OTOH, here lately seems like a bit of a dumpster fire.

[186momx]

twinmomma, I'm sorry, but I'm totally laughing over here. DD told me I need to explain to DH puberty because he doesn't get it. He really doesn't get it and you might just tell the girls that most men don't get it and beau son is a little young to have to learn about it so they need to try and be patient with him.

[twinmomma]

186momx , Oh I was laughing too! I was trying to be cool and mature and nonchalant about it, but I lost it when it progressed to "Mom, DD2 is telling beau's son where babies come from! Is that ok?" And then she added in hand motions. 

So he got the full scoop on the birds and the bees, as told by 10 year old girls this morning. Beau wasn't upset, we were both just caught off guard. Can't wait until beau's son goes back to mom's house and shares his new knowledge!

[mommyatty]

Sweet Mother of God, twinmomma, I just lost it on hand motions. That is awesome.

In news over here, we still cannot convince 8 year old DS that girls don’t have hidden penises inside their bodies. But I think he’s coming around.

[sdlaura]

186momx, unfortunately when we had mice, traps didn't take care of the problem. We had an exterminator come out and seal every teeny tiny house and garage entry point, and that finally solved the problem.

Dear court system, please don't pick me as a juror tomorrow. Or if you do, please make it a very short trial. This FT working mom with four kids can't spare more than a couple of days.

[186momx]

sdlaura, DH took a picture of it and it is a juvenile roof rat. We got lucky and caught its tail. Too big for mouse traps but too small for rat traps. DH is working on putting new house vents on the outside as that is where our pest guys said they probably were coming in at. Pest guys charge a whole lot extra for rodents but they are pretty nice about giving us tips.

Dear Clients
Yes we are operating by appointments. I don't know why this is so hard to understand. You have appointments to see the doctor, dentist, financial advisor, etc. so why is making an appointment to get your taxes turned in or picked up so freaking hard.
Tax lady

WPs
I'm so over people this week.
186momx