I vote no on the car thing because like chilerellanos said, safe dating as an ADULT has you meeting someone at a public location like a restaurant or coffee shop when you are meeting in person for the first time.
Also I really appreciate having moms with older teens here for those of us with tweens/about to be teens to turn to with our questions! I joined the Parenting in a Tech Age group on FB and whewwwwww that was an education.
Also, I’m quite aware that snap is the way to meet people now.
I’m an adult who’s been dating and online seems to also be the only reliable way to meet people as well.
But as an adult woman, I wouldn’t get into a car with a date on the first date. I’d meet somewhere first.
Yeah isn’t that dating 101 for everyone…. For first date you always meet in a public place, arrive and leave separately. No need for them to know exactly where you live and you don’t want to be stuck without transportation. I’m pretty breezy and even I follow those general guidelines so I’d absolutely be teaching a teen that. Yes parenting has gray areas but there are also specific lessons you can teach your kids.
Post by DarcyLongfellow on Feb 3, 2023 21:49:32 GMT -5
I've already had conversations with my 13 year old about how when you meet up for the first time with someone you met online, you do it in a public place.
If I were the parent of the boy in the OP's case, I wouldn't be comfortable with him going over to hang out at the house of a girl he's never met.
I'd probably use the date as an opportunity to teach a lesson about safe dating practices. So, I'd drive her to the restaurant to meet him. I wouldn't necessarily stay at the restaurant, but I would definitely be the one to drive her home afterwards. They can stretch that date out as long as they want -- dinner, ice cream, hanging at a coffee shop, but I'd want them to be in public.
My daughter is 10 but some of my friends have older kids so I've been talking about this a bit lately. She already is going out a bit on her own and starting to meet friends out and we are thinking about when she can take a bus alone so I know it will come around quickly!
At 15, my parents definitely didn't know where I was most of the time and I was definitely not often where I told them anyway. I think it's lovely that your daughter is coming to you and being honest and asking for some help navigating this so I'd try to be as relaxed as possible so that she continues to do that and your house becomes a place she wants to be with her friends. My parents... were not like this so I spent a lot of time elsewhere and got myself in some troubling situations.
I would drop her at the restaurant though or encourage them to hang out at yours for a bit first just for the driving bit. I live in a city so teenagers aren't driving so that's something I don't have to think about but remembering the kind of driver I was at 16 (and my friends) it would make me a bit cautious.
I'd expect my single but dating adult women friends to not ride in a car with a first date and same for the teen. I would drive her to the restaurant, and either wait in the car, hide in the bar or go to a nearby restaurant. Give her the second key so she can bail to the car if she needs to and "leave" while calling you.