I admit, I am a bit surprised at how many people plan to follow their kids. Especially based on some of the posts we have here about parents and in-laws! Lol
Right? Like ideally in my head I’d like to but there’s no guarantee my kid will want to settle down with 2 kids and a dog. LOL. And what if they move somewhere that sucks or their partner is crazy? So many variables!
In my case, one of my boys has a disability that likely will require some assistance moving forward. While they are still young, the boys are determined to live in the same place and often discuss where they will live. Obviously, this could all change, but we would follow to help support DS2 to be able to live near his brother and to allow DS1 the opportunity to live in a different city than we currently do.
Post by ProfessorArtNerd on Feb 5, 2023 9:37:01 GMT -5
I don't want to retire! Especially after seeing the decline in both of my parents after they did, I don't dream of retirement at all. But I would love to just teach like one or two classes (lol like I do now, but by choice and not bc of low enrollment). So I'd stay in philly bc it's a great place for adjuncting options. Provided, of course, that academia doesn't implode in the next couple decades.
I think about retiring on an almost daily basis. I still have probably 15 years and I don't know how I'm going to make it (and if all the talk about AI is true, I probably have 5-10 years till my job becomes obsolete).
I don't know where I'd go - sure I dream about some tropical destination and going to the beach every day, but then I hate being hot so... And then I think about being remote in the woods somewhere, but I like all the amenities where we are. So, I've got no idea where I'd go. Maybe I stay here.
I work with a woman who is a contractor and is in her 60's. She works 12 hours a week and takes off a lot to travel around the world. I think she's got the right idea - keeping mentally fit, low stress, and lots of time off.
I have mentioned to other child-less friends we need to build a compound somewhere, or live Golden Girls style.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Post by midwestmama on Feb 5, 2023 15:22:25 GMT -5
DH and I have been discussing eastern Tennessee. From a tax perspective, it's a more favorable state. We'd also like to live in a place where winters are less harsh (we're in MI now). But I would like to be closer to where our kids end up, so I guess we'll see what happens.
We likely will get some property when my parents pass away, in/near their hometown in MI (house in town and farm outside of town), so we'll have to decide how we handle those properties when the time comes.
ETA: I would like to live near my kids because my parents are close by and are very helpful. They started coming down one weekday a week when the kids were babies to make it so the kids were in daycare one less day, and my mom did and still does the kids' laundry. Since the kids have been in school, they will pick the kids up from school, so it's one day less they have to ride the bus. My parents also try to come to some of the kids' sports games and other events. While I had a good bond with my grandparents (I saw them about once a month when I was growing up), I feel like my kids have a much stronger bond with their (maternal) grandparents. Someday I hope I can be helpful to my kids if/when they are parents, and also have the opportunity to spend time on a regular basis with my grandkids.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
This would make me move. Even if just one set of our parents did this. Being 4 hours and 13 hours away is good.
But I realize every family is different.
Yeah, I think everyone involved has to be on board. I also think a lot of people could live near their OWN parents, but not their in-laws, even if they are great in-laws. For better or worse we are used to our family of origin, quirks and all, whereas a spouse may not be able to live near those quirks, lol.
ETA: Yes, I am aware there are exceptions here. For example, I could have 100% lived next door to my dad or MIL, naturally they have both passed away! My FIL is a handful, and my mom would drive my H slowly insane, and me too. I love her, very much she’s a great person, but it’s complicated, as are many parent/child relationships.
I'm sure you all know (since I've been complaining for like 8 years now) that my parents moved to TX when my sister did, so they could be close by. My sister moved there for several reasons but one was that they wanted to be near her MIL. For a while all three families lived on the same street. However, her MIL who she was previously fairly close with turned into a raging bitch about a ton of things, including COVID precautions (she basically said she didn't care of my parents or my sister and her family died...) and eventually moved away. So now my family is in TX and the primary reason they moved there is not.
This is another reason why we talk about moving to Europe in retirement. I would LOVE to live near my TX family but there is no way in hell I'm voluntarily moving to TX. Perhaps it would be one thing if that's where we were from, but I refuse to choose to move to and pay taxes in a state that is actively blocking human rights for many of its residents. My COL is higher than theirs but its worth every penny.
We hope to snowbird. Would probably stay in New England for summers. Not sure where we will winter; will probably depend a lot on where our kids end up, but I would be open to Florida.
We’re 3 years into a 30 year mortgage (which we do hope to pay off early) so we haven’t contemplated a retirement move yet. Hopefully go back to nyc or similar city, and do a lot of traveling.
Oh, I'd LOVE to l live by David in my old age, but I'm totally that mom. If he doesn't want us around, of course I won't push myself on him and his possible wife, and I definitely wouldn't get a house next door. But it would be lovely if it worked out that way.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Feb 5, 2023 19:06:31 GMT -5
I say I want to live near my kids because we had no parents living near us and I would have killed for help with the kids when they were little. And because my son may need help (he's disabled and TBD how independent he will be).
If they move somewhere crappy, well, no promises haha.
H and I disagree. He wants to go abroad (Portugal is his top choice). We have three kids and I'd like to live near at least one, whoever has kids and wants help (as long as they don't live somewhere terrible). He might come around. We talk all the time about how we wish our parents lived closer now that we have kids, and I'd like to be able to do that for ours (if they want it)
mofongo , warm means above 60. But not 100. And not Florida or Texas.
LCOL and no income tax - goods reasons to not write them off yet.
There is no way that I would willingly live in Florida with its current government fuckery. If its not continuing in 25 years, maybe I'll reconsider.
mofongo, I don't know. I was hoping this thread would give me ideas I did one of those retirement survey things a few years ago that have you rank what is important to you ( oceans, mountains, airport distance, medical care, etc.) and I got NYC (lol), San Fran, and some places in the Carolinas.
Our kids don't have grandparents that are really involved in our kids' lives (even though one set lives 2 miles away), and that has been a source of a lot of sadness and disappointment for me and H. We both feel strongly about being actively involved in our grandkids' lives. I just hope our two kids live relatively near one another, or that we could feasibly split time between the two.
H plans to retire within 5 years and I plan to do so in 10 years.
We plan to stay in CA, but I don't know if that means staying in our current house or downsizing and moving closer to the coast or somewhere with better walkability. The kids will be in their early 20s by then, so we'll wait to see where they truly settle before making any decisions on moving elsewhere.
Post by maudefindlay on Feb 6, 2023 5:51:40 GMT -5
DH plans to retire in 10 years (I'm a SAHM). We will snowbird, but haven't decided where yet. We currently co-own a vacation home with DH's siblings, but we all plan to sell it before retirement. With 3 kids they could end up all over. DH and I would love to help with grandkids and will do so if our help is wanted, but I plan to make sure our kids know they aren't then tied to a location with us there. I want them to feel free and not guilty to move if opportunities open up for them elsewhere.
I would not necessarily move next door to my kids, but if they both settle on the west coast I would like to retire somewhere that is not a full day travel each way to see them, which it would be if we stay in PA.
Truth be told, I can't see my H retiring OR moving away from this area, although he talks a big game. So time will tell.
We have 20+ years, so a million things could change.
Post by themoneytree on Feb 6, 2023 8:56:00 GMT -5
We absolutely love our small(ish) town. It’s walkable, historic and pretty with lots of restaurants, a small independent movie theatre and several museums all within walking distance. I think we will want to stay here. Probably in this house as long as we can comfortably afford the upkeep. If it’s too tight we would downsize into a smaller place. We would like to have a home base the kids can come back to and fit comfortably with a partner and a kid or two if that’s what they want (not to live but for holidays and vacation). We could make that work in this house so another reason to age in place here if possible.
We also want to be away for January and February at least. Not sure where but I love the idea of traveling during those months somewhere warm. I don’t think we would want a fixed place to go. We’d like the variety of different options. I have had some health issues the past couple of years, so my hope is that we are healthy enough to travel further afield for the winter. I love south east Asia and would love to spend time there. Australia, New Zealand. Those kind of places. But we really need to be healthy to do that. Our oldest is off to college this fall, but youngest is only 10. I don’t know if we’ll retire before she goes to college or right as she goes. We’ll have to see.
LOL, it is expensive here. But I do think if we think about climate change, CT is probably going to end up being a good state to be in. Friday and Saturday really had me wanting to be down south though.
As of right now, my H and I have no plans to move upon retirement, assuming we can actually afford to retire. I'm guessing costs are going to drive us out of CT, but we still have more than 20 years to go so we haven't really discussed it.
We'd prefer warmer but still have at least three seasons. We travel a lot in the US to see if there is a place that stands out for retirement location (Charleston or Asheville so far are my favorites). H would love Florida weather but hates Florida for a lot of reasons, so who knows.
Part of me would love to spend a few years overseas. I lived overseas for awhile in HS and loved it and would love to give it another go as an adult. Maybe Spain or Portugal or Ireland (but not warm, lol).
We don't want to be too far from DD but I don't necessarily want to *follow* her. And I doubt we'll stay in our current area because it's expensive, has a lot of traffic, and I don't think I'll have any family to keep me here for more than another 10 years (mom is getting older, sister/BIL will move south).
We're childfree and will retire from full-time work early (like in a few years-- eek). I plan to continue working part-time/contract hours, but I'm fully remote so I can do that from anywhere. We'd love to stay in our house for as long as possible, but with the steep stairs it will depend on our mobility. I do not want to move somewhere warm, lol. If anything, I'd want to move north where we'd get more snow, and maybe to a more walkable area.
Have no clue at all. Haven’t really thought about it.
this … it’s not on my radar given DD’s issues. I don’t own, don’t foresee myself owning anytime soon (VHCOL). J and I will be in the Bay Area the next 7y minimum (that’s when his son graduates from HS). A lot is contingent on what J’s cancer does.
We often say that the lack of extreme weather is the best thing About Ohio. Our home has a 1st floor bed/bath so I can see is keeping this house forever (will be paid off in about 7 years) and then renting places for 2-3 months/year for warmer weather, exploration, travel and fun.)
That is, assuming no major heath or life events that will prevent retirement. Anything’s possible…
Hoping to snowbird. I really like Sarasota, FL so maybe there...plenty to do with the beaches, they have a big arts scene, great dining and healthcare options. I don't know that we would buy something. I think I would rather do short term rentals so we have freedom to go different places...that is what one of my aunts does, she goes to FL in the winter and it works out well for her. Another aunt has a place in Bonetia Springs, FL they go to for 7-8 months but they never travel anywhere else because I'm guessing they are tied down with the second home.
I have three kids and hope they stick around the same area so we can be close to them too but we will see! I'm sure we will sell our house and downsize too.
I have not thought that far ahead. Probably no where. Who knows? I don't think we plan to necessarily move near the kids because they would probably be in different locations anyway. Our town is a place where a lot of people like and choose to move back to after college, so maybe one will stay in the area.
Post by bookqueen15 on Feb 6, 2023 12:16:55 GMT -5
I haven't really given it a lot of thought but I think we'll end up snowbirding somewhere, possibly Florida since we'll likely still have a lot of family there. I would like to be near my kids especially if they have kids, for at least part of the year if they want us around that is! I think we'll probably sell our current house and get something smaller with no stairs at some point after our kids graduate HS.
Post by tarzanswife on Feb 6, 2023 12:29:31 GMT -5
Where we live now. I recently moved my mom into a retirement condo (55+) that is fully paid for. Once she is gone DH and I will take it over and it will become our home. It is free and clear and we know we can cover the HOA with our Social Security. We then plan to do some traveling and go visit our grandkids, wherever they may be.