My husband slept on it and allowed Instagram. Sometimes he just needs time.
Does your teen (13+) have Instragram?
More info: My stepson (14), really wants Instagram. He says most of his classmates have it, and he feels left out and wants to also see what others are posting. I do believe that most of his peers have had Instragram since before they were 13. He goes to a military school, and we live in the military village and I know many of his classmates and their parents, he's not exaggerating.
Actually, in general, I've found Brazilian parents much more lax with usage of cell phones and social media than when I was in Canada.
My husband and I disagree. While, he is my stepson, whatever we decide does have impact as I have a 13 year old son who will be 14 in June. Essentially, when it comes to this, we need to be on the same page because whatever we decide tends to apply to both kids.
I actually think he should be allowed. He's 14, we can't keep social media away from him forever, and I would prefer to limit and teach him how to use it and navigate it. My husband thinks it's a timesuck that distracts from studying.
DS1 (almost 16) does, but it is rarely used. Apparently his peer group Instagram is now lame, it is all snap chat (which I hate). I found Instagram easier to monitor than snap chat or tik tok so it wasn’t terrible.
In general I think waiting as long as possible for social media is best. There are very few positives for it. I regret that we did it so young for DS1 (he got his cell phone at 12 and social media at 14) and plan on waiting longer for DS2.
It is true that all the other kids will have it and they do feel left out. It’s sucks. You basically have to make a decision between two bad things for your kid.
DS1 (almost 16) does, but it is rarely used. Apparently his peer group Instagram is now lame, it is all snap chat (which I hate). I found Instagram easier to monitor than snap chat or tik tok so it wasn’t terrible.
In general I think waiting as long as possible for social media is best. There are very few positives for it. I regret that we did it so young for DS1 (he got his cell phone at 12 and social media at 14) and plan on waiting longer for DS2.
It is true that all the other kids will have it and they do feel left out. It’s sucks. You basically have to make a decision between two bad things for your kid.
I think I'm feeling bad because tomorrow is the first day of grade 9 here (school starts in February), and he's going to be in a new class with new kids and I know he wants to be able to exchange Instagrams with others. Tugs at my heart a bit.
He's already on WhatsApp and Tik Tok, but only uses Tik Tok to watch videos, I'm not sure what my husband has against Instagram, I don't see much difference between the two.
Teenagers and social media is so hard. I feel like I'm constantly trying to help them find a balance...yet I'm also myself on my phone way too much.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
Mine (14) does not but she eschews all things popular, lol. Most of my students (8th grade) have insta and manage it ok. I'd make him put it on private.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Mine (14) does not but she eschews all things popular, lol. Most of my students (8th grade) have insta and manage it ok. I'd make him put it on private.
Mine (14) does not but she eschews all things popular, lol. Most of my students (8th grade) have insta and manage it ok. I'd make him put it on private.
Of all the SM, insta feels the safest to me.
Points for “eschews!”
My girl is not a follower. It's my favorite thing about her
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
DS1 (almost 16) does, but it is rarely used. Apparently his peer group Instagram is now lame, it is all snap chat (which I hate). I found Instagram easier to monitor than snap chat or tik tok so it wasn’t terrible.
In general I think waiting as long as possible for social media is best. There are very few positives for it. I regret that we did it so young for DS1 (he got his cell phone at 12 and social media at 14) and plan on waiting longer for DS2.
It is true that all the other kids will have it and they do feel left out. It’s sucks. You basically have to make a decision between two bad things for your kid.
I think I'm feeling bad because tomorrow is the first day of grade 9 here (school starts in February), and he's going to be in a new class with new kids and I know he wants to be able to exchange Instagrams with others. Tugs at my heart a bit.
He's already on WhatsApp and Tik Tok, but only uses Tik Tok to watch videos, I'm not sure what my husband has against Instagram, I don't see much difference between the two.
Teenagers and social media is so hard. I feel like I'm constantly trying to help them find a balance...yet I'm also myself on my phone way too much.
I don’t understand being okay with TikTok and not instagram. 🤷🏻♀️
I think I'm feeling bad because tomorrow is the first day of grade 9 here (school starts in February), and he's going to be in a new class with new kids and I know he wants to be able to exchange Instagrams with others. Tugs at my heart a bit.
He's already on WhatsApp and Tik Tok, but only uses Tik Tok to watch videos, I'm not sure what my husband has against Instagram, I don't see much difference between the two.
Teenagers and social media is so hard. I feel like I'm constantly trying to help them find a balance...yet I'm also myself on my phone way too much.
I don’t understand being okay with TikTok and not instagram. 🤷🏻♀️
Agree. I would say no to tik tok and yes to insta if my child was into social media.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I think I'm feeling bad because tomorrow is the first day of grade 9 here (school starts in February), and he's going to be in a new class with new kids and I know he wants to be able to exchange Instagrams with others. Tugs at my heart a bit.
He's already on WhatsApp and Tik Tok, but only uses Tik Tok to watch videos, I'm not sure what my husband has against Instagram, I don't see much difference between the two.
Teenagers and social media is so hard. I feel like I'm constantly trying to help them find a balance...yet I'm also myself on my phone way too much.
I don’t understand being okay with TikTok and not instagram. 🤷🏻♀️
I don't either. I'll talk to him again. I think because Tik Tok is watching silly animal videos. He doesn't post or interact.
Post by penguingrrl on Feb 5, 2023 21:01:06 GMT -5
My 15 year old has it. They got it in 9th grade because they were missing out in too much not having it. Their HS uses official pages in it to get a lot of info out, especially for extracurriculars, even thing the students need to know that they don’t bother emailing. We weren’t thrilled but felt like we didn’t have a choice since the school uses it as a basically officially means for communication.
They also text pretty much all of their friends through insta instead of iMessage, which makes no sense to me.
We don’t allow snap or TikTok. Thankfully they’re not interested in either.
Post by jeaniebueller on Feb 5, 2023 21:27:54 GMT -5
My 14 year old does not. I would let him if he wanted it, but he doesn’t want it. I’m glad. He has no SM and says he doesn’t think he needs it, his friends just text
Post by maudefindlay on Feb 5, 2023 21:34:47 GMT -5
My 14 yr old does, but he has to be friends with me. Like pp his school uses insta for info sharing/communication of events etc. They post lots of pix from things students do as well. No Snap Chat. TikTok isn't all cute animal videos, so I agree I don't understand allowing that but not Insta.
My 14 (almost 15) year old does have it. We didn't let her have anything until she was 13, and we let her have Pinterest and Instagram. Instagram has to be on private, and we've been very deliberate in trying to teach her that what she posts, is forever. Truly. We frame it as "would you want a future employer, or Grandma, to see this? If not, don't post it." We talked a lot (for years, not just when she got it) about how once you post something, it no longer is "yours." What people *should* do, and what they *actually* do is often very different. We talked about safety, messaging, accepting friend requests, etc. Our rule is no one can follow you unless you know them in person. Friends of friends can follow her, as long as SOMEONE knows this person in real life. No online friends (I drill into her as I post on an online forum, lol).
She's a rule follower, and actually doesn't post much at all. She mostly watches reels. But it is a huge connection point for her peers. We held off until she was 13, and I'm glad we did. But I'm also glad we let her have it now. At some point they have to learn to navigate social media. Better to do that under parental supervision and guidance.
We allowed snapchat when she was on her 8th grade trip, and they had a group snap going on for the trip. It was truly social/fun, and a way to connect with her peers. Forbidding it would have put her outside her entire social circle, and disconnected her in what was supposed to be a fun,"rite of passage," independent experience. We made it very clear though, that if it became a distraction it was gone. So far, nearly a year later, it's fine.
The hard no was TikTok. She still can't have that, and won't get that while under our roof. H and I don't have it, and when I tried it for about 10 minutes with "parental controls" locked on, it was a complete shit show. So that's our line. She hasn't asked for Facebook...apparently that's just for olds now, lol.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
Post by InBetweenDays on Feb 5, 2023 22:10:06 GMT -5
Both our 14 yo DS and 16 yo DD have Instagram. DD occasionally posts stories (like once or twice a month?) But neither post other than that. They really only use it to scroll through videos.
My 14 year old has it. It is by far the tamest social media option as far as I'm concerned. Right now he is mostly using it to obsessively monitor the daily conditions at ski resorts and nag us about going when the powder is good LOL.
It's funny to me that your H is ok with TikTok-- that one is still a hard no for me.
Snapchat is a big source of contention. It is the primary way kids seem to communicate at DS's school, but it's basically impossible to monitor. It scares the crap out of me but I also don't want him to be isolated.
I totally agree with the Tik Tok thing. I think that my step son just sort of started watching videos and sharing them with his dad, then it was too late to say no kind of thing.
I am going to shelf the discussion for now and talk to my husband in a week or two. I think he'll come around eventually.
I think I'm feeling bad because tomorrow is the first day of grade 9 here (school starts in February)
This has nothing to do with SM but I am intrigued by this. Where do you live? Do you have all year school? How do the years go? (We go from Aug-June).
I live in Brazil. The seasons are opposite, so summer here is in December/January. The school year goes from February to beginning of December. I'm from Canada, so it's been an adjustment for sure, it's so weird to be in "back to school" mode in February. Lol.
fivechickens As far as I know that's how the entire southern hemisphere operates. It makes sense when you think about the reversed seasons, but is not usually something many ever have to think about!
My 15 year old DD (9th grade) has it. She got it when she was still 14 and had started HS because, like your son, she was missing a lot. The official HS pages post a lot about spirit days and other activities. She is followed by me and DH and lots of mom friends so she doesn't post anything crazy, mostly photos of our cats . I was more nervous about her having Discord, but a club she's very active in using it to communicate so we let her have it and it hasn't been a problem.
fivechickens As far as I know that's how the entire southern hemisphere operates. It makes sense when you think about the reversed seasons, but is not usually something many ever have to think about!
When she mentioned the opposite seasons I thought ‘well duh’. Dumb of me not to think about the whole opposite season stuff.
I think I'm feeling bad because tomorrow is the first day of grade 9 here (school starts in February), and he's going to be in a new class with new kids and I know he wants to be able to exchange Instagrams with others. Tugs at my heart a bit.
He's already on WhatsApp and Tik Tok, but only uses Tik Tok to watch videos, I'm not sure what my husband has against Instagram, I don't see much difference between the two.
Teenagers and social media is so hard. I feel like I'm constantly trying to help them find a balance...yet I'm also myself on my phone way too much.
I don’t understand being okay with TikTok and not instagram. 🤷🏻♀️
Same. I’d rather my kid watched IG over TT if I had to choose.
DD is only 12 but she said a lot of her friends already have Snapchat/IG/Tik Tok. I totally believe it. DD gets so annoyed by Tik Tok but has asked for IG when she turns 13. I am okay with it. She wants it solely to follow her favorite baseball players.
Mine (14) does not but she eschews all things popular, lol. Most of my students (8th grade) have insta and manage it ok. I'd make him put it on private.
Of all the SM, insta feels the safest to me.
I could have written this exactly, except for I don't teach 8th graders, I just know a lot of them! Our daughters sound similar
My DD is 13 and in 8th grade. When her favorite youth leader moved away a year ago, she asked to get instagram to stay in touch with him (most of the kids were doing the same), and I said she could. But then she never mentioned it again. If she asked, I'd let her have an account, but I'm not going to chase her down and insist she have social media.
I think there's definitely a value in letting a kid have social media while you're there to help them learn to navigate it. If you don't allow it, they'll either get it behind your back or get it as soon as they're out of the house -- and either way they won't come to you with concerns or questions.
I know a lot of my friends' young teens have social media accounts that are heavily monitored by their parents, and that are locked down so only "friends" can see what they post. I'd be okay with my kid having something similar.
I also agree that I'd vastly prefer my kid have instagram over TikToc.