No one has ever asked to bring their dog to our house. Our friends didn't have dogs, and my in-laws always boarded them for weekend trips.
We since got a dog, my ILs said right away that she can never stay there. She can visit, but not stay. My mom has said she can stay if we provide a crate. It's pretty inconvenient, so we typically board her or rent a house that allows dogs.
We are a "please bring your dog(s) to our house to play with our dogs and also let us love on them" household. We have a fenced back yard and close the doors to any rooms we don't want them in.
Yeah this is us. We have two dogs (and 2 cats) and most friends bring their dogs when they visit and we dogsit for free. My parents bring their dog when they come to stay over. We bring our dogs to both sets of parents whenever we visit. We would probably very rarely travel to family if we couldn't bring our dogs - it's not worth the cost and hassle of figuring out what to do with them 😂
Post by Doggy Mommy on Feb 6, 2023 15:37:02 GMT -5
We'd maybe be with a well behaved, clean dog visiting if we already know that their dog and our dog get along. But we would also be totally fine saying no. Yes we have a dog, she's unbelievably spoiled, sleeps wherever she wants (including our bed), and has us wrapped around her little paw - but she's also clean, is bathed often, doesn't have a lot of fur, doesn't smell (if she does she gets a bath immediately), and is well behaved. This hasn't happened at our house though.
My family and DH's family are both total dog families. All family get togethers involve everyone bringing their dogs. My in laws often won't bring their dog when they come to our house just because they're convinced he's super badly behaved (he isn't - he was a rescue who was basically untrained when they got him, so he just isn't as absolutely perfectly trained as their past dogs), and it actually makes DH mad because he wants them to bring their dog over.
A badly behaved dog is another issue. A good friend of mine got a puppy maybe 4 or 5 years ago, and she was always wanting to bring her dog with her when she and her kids would come over. At first, I was totally fine with it, but the dog wasn't fully potty trained and always ended up going in my house. It also meant that the entire visit was spent trying to stop my dog and her dog from destroying the house as they gleefully ran all over and played. So, in that case I had to start saying no.
I were in your inlaws' situation, I'd 100% want to bring my dog with me on a long trip to visit my son. In fact, in my family it would be weird to take a trip like that without your dog. But they also should 100% ask permission and abide by whatever rule you set. It's your house, and you're under no obligation to allow dogs to visit.
Except it’s not a long trip. We only invited them for a weekend (DC’s birthday.) They could literally do it with a 2.5 hour flight, but nope, they want to drive 42 f-ing hours just so they don’t have to leave their dog for a long weekend. To each their own I guess!
… Now I’m wondering how long they think they’re staying.
Post by Wines Not Whines on Feb 6, 2023 16:12:54 GMT -5
No other dogs. I don’t think my dog would like to have another dog in the house. The only time we had another dog here was when we found a neighbor’s dog wandering down the street, so we brought her in for a few hours. My dog wasn’t thrilled about it.
My in-laws brought their dog last year, but she's an old and aloof Scottish terrier who pays no attention to cats. We have 3 cats, all of whom hissed at her and puffed up a bit when they first saw her, but other than that it was fine. Spying on her gave my orange cat something to do for a few days.
Unless your cat has been repeatedly exposed to random dogs and doesn't mind, you have no idea if she's actually dog friendly. Getting along with one dog doesn't mean dog friendly in the cat world. Especially if she was a kitten at that time. Cats are notoriously finicky (although there are exceptions) so I wouldn't allow it based on that.
Except it’s not a long trip. We only invited them for a weekend (DC’s birthday.) They could literally do it with a 2.5 hour flight, but nope, they want to drive 42 f-ing hours just so they don’t have to leave their dog for a long weekend.
omg. Wait. When you said they wanted to go to national parks etc, I assumed this was like a weeks long road trip around the US and you were just one of the stops. That plan is nuuuuuuts. That dog is going to have so much pent up energy and be stressed from all the unfamiliar surroundings. And honestly, they’re going to be stressed and exhausted from the long drive and managing the dog in that situation for days. This is such a bad plan. I’d put a stop to it for the sake of your cat, the dog, and your house. And you. Basically everyone but your ILs. lol.
Like others have said, our dogs wouldn't react well to another dog in the house so it's a no-go for us for that reason. If they WERE ok, I'd be happy for someone to bring their dog as long as it wasn't terribly behaved.
Well, in my experience, there’s always a lot of hissing and excitement on everyone’s part in the beginning and then they settle and adjust:) I have put my cats in my bedroom before, which is fine, except that the litter is then also in my bedroom. Dogs also like to eat treats from teh litter box, so that’s something else to consider.
I love to travel with my dog, but sometimes it’s nice to just be free of that responsibility! Are they in a city that would have decent boarding options? We have one we really like.
They usually board him. My MIL has just been obsessed with this idea for literally years now. It’s like a bucket list dream for her or something. I can’t even explain it.
What exactly is the dream for her? Taking the dog on a big trip? Introducing their dog to your cat? Because both of those can be accomplished with a pet friendly Airbnb and a daytime stop at your house.
They usually board him. My MIL has just been obsessed with this idea for literally years now. It’s like a bucket list dream for her or something. I can’t even explain it.
What exactly is the dream for her? Taking the dog on a big trip? Introducing their dog to your cat? Because both of those can be accomplished with a pet friendly Airbnb and a daytime stop at your house.
The dream seems to be having her dog sleep over at our house. As far as I can tell.
The other version of this dream is that DC flies out to visit them and then they ALL drive back to us together. DC has no interest in doing this ha.
Post by basilosaurus on Feb 7, 2023 2:51:50 GMT -5
My dog had a friend (whose mom was my friend) in the apartment building years ago. We regularly visited with each other. But other than that, no one has ever even asked.
Currently I have 4 cats, so it would be a no, but I also have no friends who would visit. It's a non-issue. Lots of dogs roaming the neighborhood, though. One's more likely to wander in out of curiosity if I don't close the gate and front door which I would never forget to do.
It hasn't come up much for us. Previously, it was just my ILs, and they did show up once for a weekend visit with their dog, who is kind of high strung and does not really get along with other dogs. Apparently at some point months earlier MIL and DH had what DH thought was a conversation about introducing dogs in general, MIL thought it was about our dogs specifically, and then there was no "We'll have our dog with us, is that ok?" heads up once the visit was actually planned. That whole thing made us REALLY reluctant to have other dogs in the house, even though ours is generally fine with other dogs and does well at daycare.
Now my SIL/BIL have a dog, our dog is much more chill than she was five years ago, and they're bringing their dog to visit this weekend but not overnight. How this goes will definitely affect our policy going forward....
We have a golden and she is drama. So although she is fine with other dogs, it is just a lot. She is thrown off her routine. She gets super amped up.
I prefer for others to not bring their dog. I am not a more the merrier type. I admire others who can handle the craziness lol.
We also never bring our dog to other places besides my dad's house which is on a farm. So I at least have similar expectations for myself.
We have friends who trade off watching each others dog. I don't even like doing that. We board our dog when we are gone. I also gently say no unless it is an emergency to watching their dog. Again I don't ask it of others so I don't feel bad for having a boundry.
We are a "please bring your dog(s) to our house to play with our dogs and also let us love on them" household. We have a fenced back yard and close the doors to any rooms we don't want them in.
This is us. My sister's dog is NEVER left home alone. So any time they come he comes. But we love him and he is our dog's bestie. We also have friends with dogs and they often bring them if they're coming over for the afternoon or evening. Wears our dog out, wears their dog out. Win/win.
But I would likely feel very differently if we were not a dog household or if we had a cat.
Post by verycontrary247 on Feb 7, 2023 23:26:01 GMT -5
We have a 2 story house with a baby gate on the stairs that has a tiny door on it that the cats can go through on a regular day. Their food, water, and litterboxes are all upstairs.
Whenever my inlaws come to visit they have to bring their neurotic shih tzu because she won't eat for anyone else. The cats hide upstairs in our room and we just close the smaller door on the gate so the dog can't go up.
I'm alright with my friends well behaved dogs coming over for occasional visits too under the same stipulations.
All dogs are welcome here as long as they are friendly and get on well with other dogs and kids and don’t try to kill cats.
We do try to include our own dogs on trips when we can but when we can’t we find somewhere for them. Some friends/places we visit are very dog friendly some are not so we don’t bring the dogs.
I think it’s fine to say we aren’t comfortable with the dog. Especially when you don’t have a dog, and you do have a cat. I wouldn’t just try bring my own dogs to a house with no dogs and cats only, unless the person was like “no please do bring the dogs we want you to!” I would assume no by default.
We have an open door dog policy! All dogs welcome all the time. I love them all so much a little slobber and hair they leave is worth it for me.
Also, we are the family and friend dog sitters. Since my dog died I find it helps all of us. I get some doggie love and they can keep their dogs where they will get all the attention and love.
It's never come up, but I guess we have a no dog policy? We don't have pets and aren't set up to have animals in our home. I'd be extremely annoyed if anyone pressured us to have a dog visit us. OP, in your case, I can see allowing it as a favor to your H, but I totally understand wanting to say no on principle! I am very much a "pets belong only in your own home and other places where they are explicitly invited" person, and I get irritated at the attitude that dogs should be welcome everywhere.
We have 4 cats. Until Aug 2021 we had a cat who would literally attack dogs. My brother brought his pit mix to our house once VERY briefly (brother is very allergic to cats so can't stay) and we put Tulo in a bedroom so he wouldn't get worked up. The other cats didn't care. 3 of the 4 cats we have now grew up around a dog until 8 weeks so they're not foreign, but the only one who would ever bring their dog is my mom who has an unruly 7yo black lab who has never been around cats so that would be a firm no.