Tuesday Vents

[twinmomma]

I'm feeling a little grumpy. 

[twinmomma]

1. Beau's son is home from school "sick" yet again with his mom. I am not exaggerating when I say that he misses school roughly once a week on her days for some reason or another. It is so utterly ridiculous. This time she took him to the pedi because "his ear hurt" when he woke up. Can't wait to see what comes of it. I'm fully assuming nothing. Last week he didn't go to school on the half day because he "didn't sleep well the night before" so she let him stay home. Two weeks ago it was because she "noticed something weird on his gums" so she took him to an emergency dentist, not even his normal dentist. Who told her he was totally fine and his teeth are just growing in all jacked up so it looks weird (which we know, that poor kid is going to need some extreme braces someday).

2. I'm doing my taxes and every year I get so salty over the childcare costs. I pay for all of it myself per the divorce decree, but exH gets to claim one of the kids and I claim one of the kids. So I only get to claim half the childcare expenses. I know it's not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but I get so annoyed every year when I see the numbers on paper. Then I forget about it until the next year.

3. Beau has still not really put much effort into kicking the habit of his son going to bed and sleeping alone. Most of the time, I have just come to terms with it and chalk it up to a parenting style difference since it's not worth the battle. But sometimes I just get super annoyed that he has to stay in bed with his son for a couple hours each night until he is certain he's totally asleep. And some days, he even just stays all night because his son gets upset over it. I really keep thinking this habit has to end soon, but he just turned nine and there's no end in sight. It means that on days when the kids are with us, beau and I get zero time together at the end of the day because I'm asleep before he comes back downstairs.

[polecat8]

I'm grumpy too.
Yesterday, another cop was killed in the line of duty. This one hit me pretty hard because my older brother is police chief in a nearby town. I broke down and DH was trying to calm me down but his words were less than helpful (i.e. "nothing is going to change because our government refuses to change it") and I told him as much. I had to walk away and be by myself for a bit. DH did apologize later.
Today, I vacuumed the game room where I work because DH still didn't do it even though I asked him to do it a week ago. When he asked why I wasn't working, I told him I was cleaning since he didn't because I can't work in a messy space.

[mae0111]

A grumpy couple of days for me...

My kids literally cannot be in the same room together without fighting. DD1 is purposefully annoying DD2, and DD2 is allowing all of her buttons to be pushed. DD1 is also painting a picture that we heavily favor DD1 because we won't buy her things that she doesn't need. The reality is that every time she is told "no", she melts down. It's like having a 13-year-old toddler.

It's exhausting.

I re-applied for a job at my alma mater, where I'm hoping my kids will go to middle/high school. It would be full-time on campus year round, but it's a good retirement package, free lunch, tuition discount. DH is telling me that I will have to work more to help with tuition (which I understand), but is also saying that he will not be helping out around the house while I'm working FT and managing all of the kids' schedules. So that's awesome.

We also discussed where we might cut in order to cash flow tuition. He believes that he should be able to max out his retirement and his HSA, and that I should cut my retirement contributions. I think we should both max out retirement and cut the HSA contributions. He thinks I'm ridiculous.

I'm scrambling to try and get the kids signed up for camps this summer. I just signed them up for 3 half-days of basketball camp over winter break, so that I can work a bit and they can move a bit. They're going to be mad at me.

[186momx]

I'm grumpy with my family and our friends.
DD has a meet on my sister's birthday weekend. My mom has been on me for weeks wanting to know what time DD competes. We found out yesterday, so I sent a group text saying Sunday at 3. 30 seconds later she is texting me asking to sister's birthday on Saturday night at 4 and if that works for everyone. She knows that we have friends coming to watch DD that weekend and I won't know the plan until closer to. The kicker is my birthday is on the 18th and no plans have been made. There is a college meet that day and she was insisting we all should go, and I said that I couldn't do that because of DD's meet schedule. So, since I won't do what she wants she says then no one is free to celebrate. I just feel like crap and having a pity party.

Friends who are going to come over for DD's meet called yesterday. They want to know what is up with DH as he is avoiding their texts/phone calls. I really couldn't tell them and just said he is eating crackers. I'm hoping they decide to just come over the day for DD's meet because yes DH is in a foul mood and I don't expect it to change in 3 weeks. Plus, I just don't have the energy to host.

[waverly]

My stove was disgusting so I spent 15 minutes rage cleaning it this morning. I went to mop the floors and I had to go to the basement for a mopping pad, and then was out of the mopping fluid. Then I found it on the bench by the back door not in the place it is supposed to be. I literally walked right by it because no one in my house is capable of putting their crap away. I folded 3 blankets and threw 2 pairs of socks down laundry chute. So many eye rolls. I need a housecleaner because I am not going to be able to clean the house, but I don't feel up to finding one, so I guess I will just sit on the couch and look at the dirt. DH does clean but he is more of a deep clean once in a while guy and with all the snow melting (which is good) but now the outside is all muddy so everything is gross again.  Oh and I am not a pleasant morning person so no one was feeling my vibes as I rage cleaned the kitchen ha ha.  Oh and then I accidentally put bug wash in my windshield washer of the car because DH used up all my windshield washer fluid and replaced it with bug wash.  Why DH?  WHY?  The bottles are the exact same size and shape, I just didn't read the label. Facepalm. 

[supertrooper1]

Add me to the list of grumpy and rage cleaning the last couple days. Beau and I had a conversation about ex's the other night, and it felt like he was projecting like a narcissist does, and it triggered me. In hindsight, he wasn't projecting, but it made me spiral into a funk thinking everything was going to end, when in reality he was just having a relationship check in. During my rage clean after this conversation, I was half way out the door with the kitchen garbage bag and he said he would take it to the garbage can. No, I'm half way out the door, I'm not going to set it down and have it sit there for another day or two while you're parked on the couch on your phone.

[k3am]

#1 My car is falling apart. Some random part fell off while we were driving to the mountains. NO idea what it's for. And now the lift gate - completely unrelated - refuses to stay open. It's another sign that it's time, but I really don't want to buy a new car. This one is 11 years old, has some serious mileage on it, and I'm getting sick of paying for repairs for the most random stuff. Soooo if anyone has an good recomendations for a new SUV that seats 7 with 4WD that isn't going to make me cry too much when I see the price tag, I'm all ears.

#2 We prepaid for ski/snowboard lessons and lift passes for Sunday... and there was a foot of fresh snow by the time we woke up. Terrible forecast for the day, but we attempted to make it anyways, figuring worst case scenario, we do the 2 hour lesson and leave. Ended up having to turn around. Goodbye $600..

[waverly]

k3am , we moved back to a 5 seater. But we do have a smaller dog, that will sit in her bed wherever we put her.

I feel like we are the type of family that wants to be a ski family but doesn't quite make it. The bunny hills have ropes which suck, the price is too much, the gear is too many pieces, and the weather never cooperates. We did ski lessons for the kids one year, a series of 3 lessons. First week, weather totally fine. Second week, the hills were all ice, and it was 40 out, but we managed to get some skiing in. 3rd week, it was 70 in February which is basically unheard of and they refunded us. The best part of skiing was going to the brewery afterwards.

The other time we went without kids, we stayed on the hill.  That was a mistake.  The snow maker ran all night long, and we couldn't sleep for the noise.  At 5 am, we went to the regular lodge and demanded a room there (luckily they had openings).  We had fun, but if given an option, I'll pretty much always choose a beach (or city, mountain) vacation over a ski vacation.  DH keeps suggesting a ski vacation every year, and I say OR..........

[mae0111]

waverly, if you want to take care of the sock problem, you can borrow my dog and he will eat them.

DD1 came out of her room last night to tell me that all of her school uniform socks have holes in them. This is because she leaves her door and the door to the bedroom area open, and leaves socks on the floor, and the dog chews them.

1. I found 2 brand new pairs of school socks when cleaning her room on Sunday. She had put them in her pajama drawer. She had no idea they existed. I told her that I put them in her sock drawer with her other school socks.
2. She then came back to tell me that the new socks were black, not blue. They are blue. I bought them in a 3 pack. She wears one pair so often that they faded, and misplaced the other two (by storing them in her pajama drawer).
3. About 15 minutes after this conversation I realize that the dog is quiet. I look up and he is chewing on... THE BRAND NEW PAIR OF "WRONG COLOR" SOCKS... because she left all the doors open again and promptly deposited her new socks on the floor, not in the sock drawer where I put them on Sunday.

My. House. Is. A. Circus.

[rere]

I am not in a particularly grumpy mood. But DH and I are in a standoff about our workout room. There is a very thick layer of dust in there. I have been refusing to dust it...it may be almost a year now. It started when DH made the comment several times about it needing to be dusted. Listen buddy, if you see something, do something. I don't know who you think you're talking to, but surely it's not your wife with a full time job. So it doesn't get dusted and I am fine with it.

[mae0111]

k3am, I really liked my first VW Atlas. It was a 2018 SE Tech without the tow package. It was AWD, not 4WD, but it handled really well in the snow.

Then, because of DH's failure to do any research upon dumping his truck for a tesla, I had to get a new Atlas with a tow package. I haaaaaate it. It smells. There's a leak somewhere and my car smells like a combination of a foot, a goat, and an ass. They can't find the leak. I keep taking it to the shop. There have been a LOT of recalls.

I'm very resentful that I am having to handle the constant repairs when I never wanted the damn thing in the first place.

So... the size is great, but maybe check to see if the reviews are better for the later model years? My current one is a 2020.

[twinmomma]

k3am, I love my Toyota Highlander. I upgraded from a Rav4 to give us more space.

[k3am]

Our dog is now ~ 70lbs and still growing.. and I regularly cart around an extra 2-3 kids, so a 7 seater is non-negotiable at this point.

DH really wants to look at the Telluride (which has great reviews) but I don't know anyone who has real life experience.

Also fun story.. the LAST time we stayed at this friend's house in the mountain, a different part of my car fell off... which was thankfully still there. (Also thankfully an interior piece, which serves zero driving safety purposes - I'm just impressed they still had it)

[sdlaura]

Poor DH got called in for federal jury duty and had to be downtown by 7:30 am today. Being on standby for 5 days for county jury duty worked out fine for me recently and I never had to go, but I feel bad that he got called in during his second week being on standby. He says it definitely sounds like he's getting assigned to a trial. We have so many moving parts with the four kids and their activities that it will be rough for him to not be able to help - thank goodness my parents are here.

Re: cars, my Buick Enclave is also on its last legs. It's the only car we have that will fit all 6 of us, but we've been trying to hold out until getting our Rivian SUV that we reserved like 3 years ago. We just found out that's expected to be delivered in March or April - we're excited.

k3am our good friends that we travel with have a Telluride and really like it.

[supertrooper1]

sdlaura, I can't wait to hear how you like your Rivian! I almost reserved one a few years ago, but I didn't want the payment and fully electric doesn't make sense in my rural area yet.

[186momx]

We over booked ourselves at work today. Between the appointments we scheduled and all the random people just wanting to walk in it has been a very crazy morning. I need to have a serious conversation with my dad about not over booking us. No one should get annoyed with us if they can't get a same day appointment.

I'm not getting anything accomplished and feel like I'm going crazy.

[sdlaura]

supertrooper1 we have two electric cars now and the Rivian will make three/all electric. We got the first one - a Nissan Leaf - back in 2011, so we’ve gotten used to managing the ranges and charging and stuff.

The payment will definitely take some getting used to. The first car payment we ever had was on our Tesla model 3, and that will be paid off right around the time we take on the Rivian payment. They’re honoring the old/lower price for us based on when we reserved it. We still need to figure out how much money to put down. I’m sure our insurance will go up, too. Luckily we will be down to only one kid in daycare for the first time in 9 years starting in August! We’re going to try to make it work since we need something that will fit 6 people and want it to be fully electric. It’s also DH’s dream car

[mae0111]

Another vent...

When DD1 was first diagnosed with ADHD, we found an amazing nurse practitioner that specialized in psychopharmacology. She guided us through a rocky process of starting meds, and has been with us to adjust, supplement therapy, etc. She also took on DD2 as a client. She was in an office 10 mins from home and 10 mins from school - perfect. During COVID, she left her practice and set up a new practice in a town that's about 1.5 hours from us with normal traffic. But we've been able to continue with her via telehealth.

Now, since the COVID state of emergency is ending, the DEA is prohibiting getting controlled substances via telehealth starting in May. This means that we can't stay with our awesome NP, because I can't manage 2 appointments every 3 months 90 mins away. She's awesome and I'm upset, not just because now my kids are going to have to get used to a new doctor, but because I have to go through the process of finding the right person, which, if you've ever dealt with mental health stuff, can be extremely difficult and time consuming.

I texted DH to tell him. His response?

"Oh well. Bye NP's Name!"

I am seething.

I responded that it's a big f-ing deal that is going to take a ton of time, but that I don't expect him to understand or appreciate that since I just make shit like this happen.

[sdlaura]

That's super annoying mae0111 - he could have at least replied with a short "oh that sucks."

I'd honestly consider driving to see that person if you love her.

[mae0111]

sdlaura, I would totally consider it if we were looking at appointments once a year. But I can't do once a quarter. It would mean missing a day of school, 3 hours of driving, one hour of appointments, every 3 months. It's just not feasible.

[sandandsea]

We are currently in the market to replace 2 of our cars. I want to upgrade my old prius to the new prius once there starts to be some inventory. I’m on 2 waitlists at no markup dealers so we will see. The most local dealerships want msrp + 5-10k. We also need to upgrade our truck. It’s 11 and has 170k miles on it and we really don’t want to get stranded while towing. Car buying sucks and especially so now.

[sandandsea]

And ds1 just tested positive for COVID. He was crying this morning because he didn’t feel good and had to go to school (I kept him home) and now he’s crying because he has to stay home the rest of the week. His tonsils are swollen (happens often) and he just started coughing so I tested him. He says he feels fine and for the first time ever wants to go to school. lol

[erbear]

My boss is applying for his job tomorrow (he's an interim) and I am going to be so grumpy if he doesn't get it. He's great, and the only reason he won't get it is stupid school politics.

[librarychica]

My kids have been very ungrateful and generally difficult after school the last few weeks. My last nerve was when I picked up DD2 and she complained that I didn’t get her earlier (I picked her up all of 20 minutes after dismissal at the end of pickup period), that I was wearing soft pants instead of the slacks I used to wear when I was in an office (my kids seem weirdly happy to see more of me but also slightly ashamed of the fact that I don’t dress up to work down the hall? Like I am not as pretty and at least the youngest cares for some reason?), and then that dinner was leftovers. She then had the GD nerve to say that “I’m sure Gram did not feed you leftovers so much.”

Child, you have no idea. Gram fed is what she could feed us, be it leftovers, canned tuna and noodles, or rice and canned soup 4 days in a row. Argh.

So I told her that she was spoiled, negative, never asks about my day or appreciate what is done for her and that she hurt my feelings.

We had a productive talk later, but yeah.

Then when I picked her sister up from activities she was at a level 5000 and is still there. Just, everyone, please chill.

[dglvrk2]

k3am As much as we need the snow/precipitation, my area has been impacted by the heavy snow this year. The crowds for skiing are over the top as well. I'm sorry your weekend plans fell apart. I know a few people this happened to on Sunday.

For new cars....I admittedly didn't read all of the posts, but have you considered cashing in your remaining cool chips for a minivan? Yes, you look nothing close to hip, but the gas mileage is good. I'm a soccer/gymnastics/skiing mom. We can fit ALL the crap plus all the people in our swagger wagon.i have an AWD Toyota Sienna. It's been great.


My vents: the crowds and snow. I'm trying to be appreciative, but it's hard.
Also DD1's Ancient Egypt project. She obsessing.I'm sure it will be great, but she wants help at the least opportune times. H and I need to schedule times we can help her and hold her to these.....

[twinmomma]

I'm sorry everyone else was having a grumpy day too! I hope today is a better one for all of us!

[sdlaura]

This is totally a random and not a vent - but it’s just so wild I have to share. My BFF/coworker who lives in Portland is headed to Wyoming for a client meeting, and just landed in Denver. My sister who lives in Maryland is headed to Breckinridge for a ski trip, and also just landed in Denver. And they just ran into each other at the Denver airport and sent me a picture.

I mean, maybe I’m grumpy because I’m not headed to Breckinridge for a ski trip

[mae0111]

sdlaura, that's awesome!

[mae0111]

OK so I need opinions, because this is weird, but DDOT...

My cousin J that lives far away texted me and another cousin G, inviting us to a "small lunch" for her mom's 92nd birthday. She will be flying in, her mom lives about 5 mins from me in assisted living. Her mom is my dad's only remaining sibling (out of 6 total kids, she's the oldest and he's the youngest, and everyone else passed away). My aunt is a horrible person and always has been. My dad doesn't speak to her. But I am on good terms with my cousin, so I said a tentative yes assuming alllll the COVID is out of my house.

I will add that I have 2 cousins that HATE me for unknown reasons, but I don't care because I think they're both insane.

So yesterday I ended up on another cousin text chain about family history for a class project. We were trying to piece things together because anyone with good history is gone or can't remember. Someone mentioned a photo of our grandfather (there are only a few and he died before I was born), and said, "I will bring a copy of it on Saturday"!

And then the text chain went silent.

I was invited on SUNDAY, not SATURDAY. And no one corrected my cousin that said Saturday.

SOOOO, I believe that there is a big party with MOST of my cousins, and a "small lunch" for me and one other cousin that is known to get along with me. And now I don't want any part of this nonsense.

What would you do? Would you go because you accepted? Or would you just say, "OH, sorry, I'm still testing positive and I can't enter a nursing home."