S/O: Do you Restrict Your Child's Reading Choices?

[Roc A Bee]

I’d be delighted if my kids picked up any book! They aren’t readers.

[notreal]

I would not if my kids liked to read. Sadly, they do not.

For Christmas in 6th grade, my mother gave me a t-shirt with a list of 20 banned books on it and a copy of each book on the list. It was the best present.

[dochas]

Mar 2, 2023 14:03:31 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

Mar 2, 2023 13:04:07 GMT -5 dochas said:

My son is 12. I continue to steer away from sex and really scary horror. I don't know if restrict is the right word? He isn't drawn to young adult relationship books so it hasn't come up much. He started asking to read Stephen King a couple of years ago and I'm not going to let him just go to town with that. He would be terrified by a lot of it and he writes some freaky stuff besides being scary as well. I get him tamer ones.

He is an avid reader and has been reading several grades above grade level for years. We are big library users and the librarians at the libraries we go to have always been great at suggesting things for him.

I think I was 13 when I started reading Stephen King (it was the summer before 6th grade...I had basically spent the summer at the library, I read the ENTIRE juvenile horror section and asked the librarian for a recommendation after that and she pointed me to him, I started with Carrie and became an constant reader).  My parents didn't restrict anything (tv, movies, etc.), so it would have been really weird if they then tried to restrict books, so I'm really glad they didn't, since books were by far my savior.  I definitely read things that were inappropriate for me, but I was also exposed to other things that were inappropriate for me in other ways, so the books didn't do any damage that wasn't already done if that makes sense.  

I guess I'm in the camp of guiding them is fine, but if they have an interest and think they can handle it, I wouldn't say no by any means.  

We've never been 'anything goes' with movies and TV so talking about books isn't a surprise to him. He and my husband still read together every night and we read books he recommends to us that he's read for school. He does get scared by some horror so we're watching scary stuff at a slower pace than some. And if somethings too scary he blames me for letting him watch it. LOL I'm a no to me losing sleep because he was reading The Shining before bed!

Aside from something being inappropriate or scary there are some classic stories and movies that I think are appreciated or understood more at different ages and I make that kind of recommendation to him as well.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Mine hates reading so if she expresses an interest in reading ANYTHING I fully encourage it whether its age appropriate or not. 

[gretchenindisguise]

I don't restrict.

I can see some times when I would, some manga for example - but L wasn't into that and A is only 8, so we aren't there.

I'm mostly very firmly in the "if you are reading, you can read it" camp.

[Deleted]

My mom limited me on Goosebump books. I wasn't allowed to read those because of demonic stuff but I just read and kept them at school. I don't think my mom monitored my reading very well because I was reading Mary Higgins Clark, Steven King, Judy Blume (are you there god, its me Margret/Tiger Eyes), Jody Picoult, and various other writers who had adult themes in them.

I think it's better to not limit but to let them know if they come across some things that they don't understand, brings up odd feelings, or possibly have questions on topics that they can come to you to ask about them without any questions (or give you an email or note because some stuff is hard to talk about).

[Susie]

My DD is only 7, so we haven't had to work hard at it yet.  She is devouring Harry Potter at the moment, I think she might have finished book 6 before school this AM.  The books she brings home from the school library on library day are way below the reading level of what she typically reads at home, so I foresee leaning on our excellent town library a lot as she gets older.  I used to love to read, and I still like to, but I read all day at work and rarely have time/drive to do it outside of vacations now.  I could never keep up with the volume she reads, to try to pre-read everything for her.

My parents definitely frowned on the Stephen King that I got from the school library in middle school but... then my mom handed me Gone with the Wind which we had at home?  So, I'm going to go with, Stephen King was comparatively just fine.  

[mustardseed2007]

I remember reading a few books with suicide and suicidal ideations in them when I was a teen that really did mess me up for a while (I mean on its own it did not but it took my emotional self deeper into dark places) so I would manage that. I would also manage downloading porn books or hintai. None of it has come up yet but I would restrict those things.

[Jalapeñomel]

No

[bugandbibs]

I read Flowers in the Attic in 5th grade, and my grandmother had an entire closet dedicated to her romance novels, so... I was allowed to read anything and it fostered my ability to read, analyze and judge for myself. I had a wide variety of tastes and still do.

So far, with my own kids I have never censored anything. I have discussed problematic themes with my oldest about some mangas she wanted me to buy. I told her no, but she was free to buy them with her own money if she wanted. The only thing I could really see myself putting my foot down over would be books designed to groom/brainwash/indoctrinate my children to things that I don't agree with. Like, I would veto a how-to-guide from Andrew Tate real quick.

[katieb4tom]

I’m the SS because I say Never Ever Ever!!!! Books are how kids (humans) test things out. It’s how you have experiences you never will. It’s how you hear the reasoning of someone, how you see how one choice changes all. NEVER will I restrict or shame my kids reading choices. I will ask for summaries and recommendations though!

[1confused1]

Mar 2, 2023 15:18:31 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Mine hates reading so if she expresses an interest in reading ANYTHING I fully encourage it whether its age appropriate or not. 

I was in the same boat with my R and I’m the poster the OP is talking about restricting this Colleen Hoover book.

**TW**




It contains a lot of domestic violence, rape and sex. And I know my daughter isn’t mature enough to understand it.

[abs]

Restrict, no. Discuss yes.

DD is getting into YA. There is just a whole range of things in that section. Right now she is very into Dystopian and just devoured The Hunger games series. Now she is reading Divergent. All above 6th grade but I’m fine with it. If she asked to read Colleen Hoover I would ask her to wait and discuss why. It’s not appropriate.

[meanie]

It's not an issue yet, but my DD loves to read so possibly some day it will come up. I view it like any other media when it comes to appropriateness/subject matter. I use common sense media before we watch a movie (especially ones from when we were kids), I don't necessarily follow the age guidelines there but it is helpful to know if there is a theme or part that I want to avoid. They have a section for books as well.

I remember reading Christopher Pike books when I was maybe around 11 - 12 because of the sexy vampires

[starburst604]

DD has a reading disability/hates reading so I would feel excited if she wanted to read something, anything!

I don’t even think it’s possible to restrict what a kid reads. Everything I read when I was middle school aged and up came from the school or regular library or was borrowed from a friend, and now everything is even easier to access without having a physical book. Much of my reading it had content that I had yet to have knowledge about including violence, rape, sex workers, other heavy adult stuff. So then I knew these things existed in the world, and I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing?

Though I’m sure if my mom knew what American Psycho was about when I read it in 9th grade, she’d have had something to say! I’ll never look at hamster tubing the same way. 😬

[mysteriouswife]

I should have selected SS, but selected monitor appropriate. DD had PTSD. There were books she should not have read during that time. She was an avid reader and loved wandering the library at school. I had a good pulse on what was available to her and the librarian would give me a heads up or she wouldn’t allow DD to check it out. DS to this point hasn’t really been monitored on what he reads. He would rather gouge his eyes out before reading.

[tators]

I swore I would never, but honestly I hate Colleen Hoover and think she glorifies toxic behavior and don’t want my daughter to think that’s good, healthy or romantic. I would steer her toward some stronger female characters/writers but also if she wanted to read it- we’d just have discussions about how unhealthy the relationships being shown are

[jinkies]

meanie, oh man Christopher Pike. I had kind of forgotten about him, but I read everything he wrote.

[ksun]

DD isn't a huge reader so when they want a specific book, we get it. I grew up also on VC Andrews and Stephen King so I'm not about to censor (DD is 14)

[abs]

Mar 2, 2023 16:48:48 GMT -5 jinkies said:

meanie, oh man Christopher Pike. I had kind of forgotten about him, but I read everything he wrote.

I still have mine. I handed DD Remember Me a few months ago. She handed it right back and said no thank you. Rude.

[abs]

Mar 2, 2023 16:48:05 GMT -5 tators said:

I swore I would never, but honestly I hate Colleen Hoover and think she glorifies toxic behavior and don’t want my daughter to think that’s good, healthy or romantic. I would steer her toward some stronger female characters/writers but also if she wanted to read it- we’d just have discussions about how unhealthy the relationships being shown are

Right. Some of her books are barely appropriate for me. At a certain age, sure, try it if you must but junior high age isn’t it. Will they sneak if anyways? Who knows. My mom was unsuccessful in keeping me from Sweet Valley High so probably. At that point it’s just important to discuss.

[jinkies]

I haven't read anything by Colleen Hoover but I recently tried something by Lucy Score and it was one of the worst books I've ever read LOL. It sounds similar-- it was totally glorifying unhealthy relationships, lots of sex scenes. IDK, it was horrible but I could see maybe allowing my teenager to read it and using it as a discussion tool.

[sugarbear1]

Mar 2, 2023 16:25:38 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Mar 2, 2023 15:18:31 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Mine hates reading so if she expresses an interest in reading ANYTHING I fully encourage it whether its age appropriate or not. 

I was in the same boat with my R and I’m the poster the OP is talking about restricting this Colleen Hoover book.

**TW**




It contains a lot of domestic violence, rape and sex. And I know my daughter isn’t mature enough to understand it.

One of my 7th graders was reading this book a few weeks ago, in class. I asked her if her parents knew she was reading it and she said her mom had bought it for her. I didn't say anything else, but I did tell her to stop hiding in the bathroom to read certain parts aloud to her classmates.

[bears]

Mar 2, 2023 15:39:14 GMT -5 Susie said:

My parents definitely frowned on the Stephen King that I got from the school library in middle school but... then my mom handed me Gone with the Wind which we had at home?  So, I'm going to go with, Stephen King was comparatively just fine.  

The racism in some classics makes reading them as an adult/parent really uncomfortable. My daughter read the Laura Ingalls Wilder books and my son had picked up some Tintin comics from the library and both have really troubling depictions of people of color. I had some long conversations about them with my kids, the author's POV, the harm of sterotypes, etc. with the kids. Not sure if I'm doing enough here.

[AdaraMarie]

My 12 year old reads so much I can't keep up. I am sure she's read inappropriate things because she's been reading every ya fantasy series she can find. But I feel like she can handle it. My 10 year old struggles a bit with reading and has read things I think are a little mature for her, but she is the type where anything she will read is better than nothing.

[chickadee77]

I hope I won't have to, but like others I think I would if I started noticing erotica (prior to an appropriate age - which I haven't yet determined 😂) or something else that I saw as inappropriate for some reason.

We've already had prepatory conversations - just today, in fact, ha - about coming to me with questions or to discuss things.

I was a voracious reader as a child, and, honestly, my teachers and the public librarian monitored my reading more than my parents - I remember being about second grade and my mom forbade me from reading some romance called "No More Boys" because it wasn't appropriate for my age, but other than that 🤷‍♀️. I showed up in fourth grade wanting to read Clan of the Cave Bear because it was nice and long, and my teacher nixed it, lol.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Mar 2, 2023 16:25:38 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Mar 2, 2023 15:18:31 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Mine hates reading so if she expresses an interest in reading ANYTHING I fully encourage it whether its age appropriate or not. 

I was in the same boat with my R and I’m the poster the OP is talking about restricting this Colleen Hoover book.

**TW**




It contains a lot of domestic violence, rape and sex. And I know my daughter isn’t mature enough to understand it.

I’d be incredibly hesitant to let her read a book w those themes given the unresolved trauma she has from my DV experience.

[mpm]

She’s only 5 so yes, of course. We donated a gifted Horton Hears a Who, for example, because normalizing the visual of a rifle assault just seems totally unnecessary at this age.

[al dente]

I want to say I'd be all breezy, but I don't think I will be. Like I don't want my 10 yrs old reading fifty shades of grey just because she *can* read the words. If she was like 15 I prob wouldn't have a problem since I feel like we could have a discussion at that point, but I don't want to be having a discussion with a tween about fetishes. But also if sneaking books is the worst of the rebellion I will take it lol.

She's only 4 though so I'm a ways off from that.

[dontlook]

Mar 2, 2023 19:25:36 GMT -5 al dente said:

I want to say I'd be all breezy, but I don't think I will be. Like I don't want my 10 yrs old reading fifty shades of grey just because she *can* read the words. If she was like 15 I prob wouldn't have a problem since I feel like we could have a discussion at that point, but I don't want to be having a discussion with a tween about fetishes. But also if sneaking books is the worst of the rebellion I will take it lol.

She's only 4 though so I'm a ways off from that.

This board always has to be extra breezy “I would NEVER!!!” about everything lol.

Books are a great place to learn about different subject matters but I’m not sure I want my kids first in-depth experience with rape and domestic violence to be in a Colleen Hoover book. And if that’s what she picks up I would want to be right there to guide her. That book was a lot even for me as an adult. I don’t think it’s some parenting failure to offer guidance with books. I don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world to say, “hey maybe not that book right now because of x, y, z”. Not when there are tons of other quality options that could tackle the same problems in a different way.