I need a reality check wwyd

[meganew]

Our cat Walter will be 16 this summer. He’s H’s first pet as an adult, they lived alone together before I moved in- he’s very, very bonded with this cat. I love him too obviously, but he’s definitely H’s- if that makes sense.

Walter has had a few seizures in the last 18 months, maybe 3? He’s lost a ton of weight despite eating and pooping normally. He does act like he’s starving all the time and tries to eat off our plates, which is new. He’s also way more vocal than ever before. We’ve done blood work and everything’s good, did an X-ray which didn’t show anything, now we did a CAT scan today which showed a foreign object and some intestinal disease.

H just called with that info and that he scheduled surgery to remove the foreign object and to biopsy the spots in his intestine to see if it’s IBS or cancer. The bloodwork and X-ray we already paid for, the cat scan today was $500, the surgery is $2000. And after all that if we find out he has cancer, then what? I just don’t know where to say… are we really doing this? We just had a very expensive year, some of it planned and some of it not and we’re really feeling the pinch right now. But what is the other option? It’s not like we can just take him home with a foreign object in him! Which is so confusing because he’s still eating/peeing/pooping- doesn’t seem like he’s in pain. Ugh. I don’t know what to do.

[sassystace]

16 is getting older for a cat. He may not tolerate surgery very well or recovery. If the foreign object isn't blocking him up, I would take a wait and see approach. Maybe get him some canned food to make his stop begging for human food, make him happy and comfortable. I don't know, I am not one to do chemo on a pet.

[janegold]

I would do the surgery (assuming that's what the vet recommends and thinks he can handle it) but, personally, I wouldn't treat the cancer if that's what it turns out to be.

[sparkythelawyer]

I would sit down with the husband and the vet, and figure out what kindness looks like for the cat.  Does the cat still have good days in him if all of this treatment happens?  Does it not?  Let the vet help chart the course, and that way if it is bad news the vet can help soften the blow.

I'm sorry for Walter's troubles.  He sounds like a good friend.

[mofongo]

Foreign object does sound bizarre, I’d be curious about that, but also do they mean tumor?? 16 is old for a cat. I had a female cat that I got when I was finishing grad school and had moved into an apt by myself. She was my ♥️. We were very bonded. She had thyroid issues and then we think developed cancer. She also lost weight, but was eating voraciously, like screaming for food. She was having odd colored diarrhea that she didn’t have control over and my vet could feel something, as well as seeing something on ultrasound. I put her down about a month before she turned 16.

No our male cat, that we got together while dating is now 16, on thyroid meds and is also losing weight. Blood work is all fine, but it’s worrisome. He sits on me all.the.time. This has increased as he’s aged.

I don’t know if I’d put him through all of that at this age, unless the vet could assure me the foreign object was something ingested that needed to com out.

ETA: I grieved my cat like she was a person I loved, it was pretty rough, so I feel for your H, from that perspective.

[sonrisa]

ETA: I'll just second sparky.

[Deleted]

Mar 7, 2023 13:48:17 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

I would sit down with the husband and the vet, and figure out what kindness looks like for the cat.  Does the cat still have good days in him if all of this treatment happens?  Does it not?  Let the vet help chart the course, and that way if it is bad news the vet can help soften the blow.

I'm sorry for Walter's troubles.  He sounds like a good friend.

This is what I was trying to find the words to say but couldn't figure out how to articulate.

[aprilsails]

My 16 year old cat died of hyperthyroidism a year ago. We had him on meds for the last six months, but would not do the radiation treatment for him. His behaviour was exactly the same as your cat. His brother is now 17 and starting to get a bit worse for wear. At this stage if any little thing goes wrong that may be the end. So I wouldn’t necessarily pursue additional treatment if I were you.

I would have a deep conversation with your DH about possible outcomes and your ability to pay. I’m lucky that DH and I are on the same page, but it’s a difficult decision to make with a beloved pet.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

I'd want to understand a bit more about the foreign object, but be realistic about how much this is going to prolong the life and possibly suffering of a dear friend. He sounds awesome.

[DotAndBuzz]

Mar 7, 2023 13:45:56 GMT -5 janegold said:

I would do the surgery (assuming that's what the vet recommends and thinks he can handle it) but, personally, I wouldn't treat the cancer if that's what it turns out to be.

I'm here.

The surgery (while expensive) will give you definitive answers, and likely give you more clear options to take. At age 16, you have to start thinking about it in terms of will this FIX the problem, or sacrifice quality of life in favor of quantity. It sucks, and it is so painful to think of a beloved pet this way, but they don't necessarily fear death like we do. Our vet helped us with this and our elderly cats. *WE* are afraid of the idea of death, but they don't have that concept. They only know the present. Am I in pain *now.* Putting a cat through cancer treatments will be stressful and uncomfortable, and the cat won't understand why. Will it fix the problem, and how quickly? And if not, how will it impact their quality of life, compared to what it is now/if you do not pursue treatment.

I don't mean this to sound callous at all. I've been there in picking and choosing how much to do for a sick animal. We decided not to go all in to treat kidney disease in our older (age 14 and 15) cats, and let them pass peacefully with the assistance of the vet. We *did* go all in and spend an insane amount to treat a rare autoimmune disorder on a 7 year old cat we had recently adopted (the removal of all her teeth, and then a long recovery and medication regimen to address the chronic inflammation, sores, and pain caused by the disorder). 6 years later, she's a happy healthy cat, medication free.

it's just a horribly hard conversation to have. Gentle pets to your Walter. It sounds like he has a very loving family to help him on whatever journey you decide on.

[mcsangel2]

Without having any more information on that foreign object than you've given us, you need to either get him surgery or put him down asap. A foreign object in his digestive system will cause excruciating pain sooner or later.

[luckystar2]

We’ve had to deal with old pets and sudden issues and end of life decisions. The best thing to do is to have a conversation about how much you/dh are willing to spend and do for treatment and what that would look like for the quality of life of the cat. We’ve found out the hard way that the conversation really needs to happen before you start doing a lot of diagnostic testing. Recently when my dog was sick I had a very open/frank conversation with my vet who 100% understood and was able to walk me through that. My dog is on the older side. Rushing to do diagnostic testing could find cancer and would we treat that? If not then maybe we don’t rush to doing the diagnostic test and try other things first.

So for the biopsy - the question would be would you treat it if it was cancer? If not then why biopsy? My cat has suspected IBS - but no biopsy or anything. She’s on prednisone to manage it. If there’s reason to suspect IBS maybe could trial meds instead of a biopsy.

Surgery - I would want a very frank conversation with the vet. I assume they think the blockage is bad if they are recommending surgery? But I would definitely discuss options. My dog and cat have swallowed things they shouldn’t and the vet has recommended a wait and see approach vs X-ray. They both passed them without issue. If surgery is the only option - then a discussion about the cat’s chance of survival given their age. I would assume anesthesia alone would be risky at that age.

When one of our cats was 10 she got very sick. We didn’t have a conversation about how much we both would do from the beginning cause we had no idea how severe it would be. In the end we did tests and procedures that really didn’t end up being necessary because we didn’t pursue further treatment. I had to have a hard discussion with my dh because he was willing to do much more than I was. More procedures only gave her 50/50 chance and required a lot of at home challenges afterwards and just didn’t seem like it would be the best quality of life. They also had no idea what caused the issue and couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t happen again. Ultimately we decided to euthanize her. It was hard since she was 10 which wasn’t young but not that old. At 16 I don’t know that I would pursue surgeries/biopsies personally. I have an almost 18 year old cat who sounds very similar to some of the things yours is doing and it’s a combo of hyperthyroidism, HBP, and IBS (but sounds like your cat’s bloodwork was fine - did they check Blood pressure?) She’s on multiple meds which I’m ok doing that but if anything more would be necessary I just can’t imagine pursuing it at her age.

[Jalapeñomel]

I'm so sorry.

In general, I wouldn't do surgery on a 16 year old pet.

[Saudade]

I had a Walter cat. He literally was my best friend. He also had cancer. I did not do surgery and elected to put him down. I couldn't put him through the surgery because I knew he wouldn't understand. It's not like I can explain to him why I needed to do that. It's been 2 years and I still miss him every day.

[dochas]

My beloved cat lived to 18. If this had happened at 16 I would not have done the surgery. Has your husband had any kind of acceptance over the last 18 months of him starting to get frail? I knew my boy was old and really enjoyed and spoiled him the last couple of years and it made it just a bit easier to let him go. If he's been starting to accept it for a while, I think it will be easier to have the "let's think about this" conversation.

[meganew]

Thanks guys.

Sorry to post and run, I’m still at school and H was telling/crying this information to me rapid fire as I was trying to get my students out to recess. The vet said the foreign object looks like he ate something hard he shouldn’t have- like a small Lego or something. This cat has never, ever eaten anything other than food so I have no idea how long it’s been in there.

I just worry that the $2000 surgery is solving a problem we didn’t even know about- we were trying to figure out why he was having seizures and the personality changes and weight loss. When this surgery is done all those problems will still be there.

I think we’re going to start by having a conversation together (once he’s calmed down) and then calling the vet together to walk through everything.

This stinks. I wish I knew how to post a picture because he really is the most beautiful cat.

[meganew]

Mar 7, 2023 14:31:50 GMT -5 dochas said:

My beloved cat lived to 18. If this had happened at 16 I would not have done the surgery. Has your husband had any kind of acceptance over the last 18 months of him starting to get frail? I knew my boy was old and really enjoyed and spoiled him the last couple of years and it made it just a bit easier to let him go. If he's been starting to accept it for a while, I think it will be easier to have the "let's think about this" conversation.

He has. He’s been talking about it, but I don’t know if he’s ready for the reality of it. And I think he’s really hoping that this surgery will kind of like hit a reset button and Walter will bounce back to his old self, which I don’t see that happening.

[mcsangel2]

Mar 7, 2023 15:08:52 GMT -5 meganew said:

Thanks guys.

Sorry to post and run, I’m still at school and H was telling/crying this information to me rapid fire as I was trying to get my students out to recess. The vet said the foreign object looks like he ate something hard he shouldn’t have- like a small Lego or something. This cat has never, ever eaten anything other than food so I have no idea how long it’s been in there.

I just worry that the $2000 surgery is solving a problem we didn’t even know about- we were trying to figure out why he was having seizures and the personality changes and weight loss. When this surgery is done all those problems will still be there.

I think we’re going to start by having a conversation together (once he’s calmed down) and then calling the vet together to walk through everything.

This stinks. I wish I knew how to post a picture because he really is the most beautiful cat.

Actually, it's entirely possible if not likely that the seizures, weight loss, and personality changes are caused by what the foreign object is doing to his system.

[cattledogkisses]

Just here to send hugs. Making end of life decisions for our beloved animal companions is so hard.

[mofongo]

Mar 7, 2023 15:12:41 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

Mar 7, 2023 15:08:52 GMT -5 meganew said:

Thanks guys.

Sorry to post and run, I’m still at school and H was telling/crying this information to me rapid fire as I was trying to get my students out to recess. The vet said the foreign object looks like he ate something hard he shouldn’t have- like a small Lego or something. This cat has never, ever eaten anything other than food so I have no idea how long it’s been in there.

I just worry that the $2000 surgery is solving a problem we didn’t even know about- we were trying to figure out why he was having seizures and the personality changes and weight loss. When this surgery is done all those problems will still be there.

I think we’re going to start by having a conversation together (once he’s calmed down) and then calling the vet together to walk through everything.

This stinks. I wish I knew how to post a picture because he really is the most beautiful cat.

Actually, it's entirely possible if not likely that the seizures, weight loss, and personality changes are caused by what the foreign object is doing to his system.

Eighteen months would be a long time for it to not have caused more significant issues.

[meganew]

Mar 7, 2023 15:12:41 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

Mar 7, 2023 15:08:52 GMT -5 meganew said:

Thanks guys.

Sorry to post and run, I’m still at school and H was telling/crying this information to me rapid fire as I was trying to get my students out to recess. The vet said the foreign object looks like he ate something hard he shouldn’t have- like a small Lego or something. This cat has never, ever eaten anything other than food so I have no idea how long it’s been in there.

I just worry that the $2000 surgery is solving a problem we didn’t even know about- we were trying to figure out why he was having seizures and the personality changes and weight loss. When this surgery is done all those problems will still be there.

I think we’re going to start by having a conversation together (once he’s calmed down) and then calling the vet together to walk through everything.

This stinks. I wish I knew how to post a picture because he really is the most beautiful cat.

Actually, it's entirely possible if not likely that the seizures, weight loss, and personality changes are caused by what the foreign object is doing to his system.

This is definitely something to ask the vet about then too, because he doesn’t have the typical blockage symptoms.

[redheadk]

You’ve gotten some great advice. I’m terribly sorry you are dealing with this; we had a dog that my husband was especially close to and we still miss her every single day. Someone once referred to her as his “heart dog” so that’s how I think of her now. I don’t know that he’ll ever have another in quite the same way. I wish you clarity and peace.

[winemaker06]

I went through similar internal debates in January with my 16-year-old cat and it was HARD. My vet was zero help as well, and wouldn’t give me an opinion at all, but when I made the decision to put her down, the vet said it was the right decision (I figure she tells everyone that, at that point).

My cat went through personality change and weight loss issues along with hyperthyroid and cardiomyopathy that was managed fairly well for about 2-3 years. But my lovable cat’s personality was never the same as her health declined after 14. I kept hoping additional treatment would make a difference, but finally had to accept that those days were over and concentrated on making her comfortable. We did major surgery at 14, which probably contributed to her last 2 years fairly ‘decent’ years, but then at 16, there were too many problems compounding, so I can see how you might need to demand more info on quality of life from here.

Good luck as you make your decision, which was way harder than I ever expected it to be!

[luckystar2]

Mar 7, 2023 15:16:00 GMT -5 meganew said:

Mar 7, 2023 15:12:41 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

Actually, it's entirely possible if not likely that the seizures, weight loss, and personality changes are caused by what the foreign object is doing to his system.

This is definitely something to ask the vet about then too, because he doesn’t have the typical blockage symptoms.

I would ask the vet - why did they want to do the ct scan. What were the potential things they were looking for. Was a blockage one of them? And does this seem like it could be causing the issues. If they are saying those aren’t typical blockage symptoms it sounds like an incidental finding. But I would want to know what the plan was with the ct - did they think it was cancer? Something else? Did the ct scan potentially eliminate some issues or not. Could IBS be causing the issues - and would you be able to trial meds vs biopsy.

[strawberry]

I’m sorry.

My last two kitties were around 16 when we had to put them to sleep.
16 is old for a cat. It’s rare for a cat to live to 20.

It is so hard to make that decision.
I still miss both of them and it’s been 6 years for one. I have two cats now. I will say, I feel like I waited too long to take them in for that appointment. I can say that now. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye any sooner. It was hard. Cats can hide severe illness well. And it is hard to know how sick they really are.

[VillainV]

I don’t have any other words of wisdom to add, just wanted to send hugs. It’s tough to figure out healthcare decisions for aging beloved pets. It sounds like $$$ is definitely an issue, but even if it weren’t, you’d want to seriously consider whether this care is likely to add quality of life to a cat with a lot of other health issues.

[purplepenguin7]

Mar 7, 2023 13:51:01 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Foreign object does sound bizarre, I’d be curious about that, but also do they mean tumor?? 16 is old for a cat. I had a female cat that I got when I was finishing grad school and had moved into an apt by myself. She was my ♥️. We were very bonded. She had thyroid issues and then we think developed cancer. She also lost weight, but was eating voraciously, like screaming for food. She was having odd colored diarrhea that she didn’t have control over and my vet could feel something, as well as seeing something on ultrasound. I put her down about a month before she turned 16.

interesting, we just went through almost the exact same thing with our soon to be 17 year old cat.  She lost a lot of weight but was scarfing down food and screaming for it 2-3x a day (way more than ever before).  Her blood work came back clear so a thyroid issue never came up from the vet.

to the OP, we hardcore struggled on when the right time would be for our cat.  She showed so much signs of life at times, but also weighed 5lb and was the definition of skin and bones. We declined any surgery or invasive care as it was unlikely a surgery would prolong her life for a significant amount of time.  SHe was never diagnosed with cancer but we had pre-decided we wouldn't do chemo or any other treatment either. It was a really hard decision but thankfully my H and I were on the same page. It's so hard when you don't know what the cat is feeling.  I will say that as cheesy as it sounds, we just knew that it was time when it came.  She had stopped using the litter box, had diarrhea basically all over the house (sorry to be gross) and had stopped cleaning herself. Her face would be covered in food after she ate wet food. I'm just rambling now but I just wanted to say I know how hard these descisions are. 

[mala]

Ravenously hungry plus loosing weight is usually indicative of cancer

I just went through similar over the 4th of July with my Boy. He was 17. Was acting weird so I took him in thinking bad tooth. Nope, bone cancer in his jaw. Was told two weeks max before we should let him go. Had to take him back the next morning because he started bleeding from the mouth and wouldn't stop and I was worried it would get worse over the holiday (It was Saturday [and my birthday] and the 4th was Monday) and he would be in terrible pain until we could let him go. It sucks.

[pumpkincat]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Everyone else has given great advice.

Can we see a pic of Mr. Walter?

[aspentosh]

Agree with above poster that said they'd sit down with the vet and see what she would recommend.

My mom has an elderly dog and last year her eyes were getting pretty messed up. One was swelling and the other started dying from the inside. The vet said, if it were her dog, she'd do the surgery to remove the eyeballs because she was otherwise very healthy. My mom went through with the surgery and her dog is like a new dog. So if the vet thinks it's kind and worth it, I'd go through with the surgery... If it was just prolonging a miserable life, then I wouldn't.

Hugs. Pets aging is so hard.